What does this over used term really mean?

It certainly means different things to different people.
So we break it down for you one by one.

Average Joe: Having a girlfriend makes him legitimate. Even if he fights it, he loves being committed and needed. And mothers with small children no longer cross the street when he's coming. But if he's not careful to hide all his collectibles, he'll be back at mom's house before he knows it.

Girls: The term girlfriend is one of affection. Generally. Like, "What's up girlfriend?" Or even more colloquial, "What up girlfriend?" Of course we've also heard it used in a threatening way like, "You better back up, girlfriend!" OK, we have no idea what it means. We're just GUYS!

Gay Guy: We consulted with some of our GUYS from this community. Are you surprised? Yes, this is The Guy's Perspective. We're definitely all inclusive. Anyway, the term girlfriend would be a term used for the GUY who might be the physically less dominant in the relationship. Thus the word girlfriend. Well, that's pretty clear.

Hugh Hefner: Before we begin, we need to say that every GUY on the planet is jealous of this GUY.
Do we agree with all his practices and would we have made the same choices? Maybe, maybe not. But talk about a vision and singular purpose. The GUY started a magazine and an empire so he could have lots of Girlfriends. And he's done it successfully for 60 yrs! The singular girlfriend is a word Mr. Hefner is not familiar with. It would be the plural form, Girlfriends, that he knows so well. His girlfriends consist of two to three "girls" who happen to be many years his junior. These girls usually stick around for a year or so, and then POOF! They're gone. They move on happily, so it seems. And then within days these girls are magically replaced by another set of lovely young ladies. And no one knows what really goes on behind closed doors. So we're left to our own imagination. Yuck!

Bad Boys: Yes, we know you ladies love them. And even some of you GUYS. But they don't even know you exist. They do their own thing, and you're welcome to follow them around. C'mon, enough already!!

Middle Schoolers: When young guys in middle school tell their friends they have a girlfriend it could mean almost anything. Their girlfriend could be someone they smiled at in the hallway going from class to class, or someone they've been texting for a week or so. Nine out of ten times these "Guys" have never actually been out with their "girlfriends" and definitely NOT alone. If you've ever seen the difference between a fourteen year old boy and fourteen year old girl, you know why. These young women just remind these boys of what lies ahead. And for most, sorrow and angst.

Even younger Guys: When an elementary school boy says he has a girlfriend it means he's found someone he can throw rocks at. Or throw anything at. You can see we've come a long way since the caveman, because in essence elementary school boys are just like cavemen. The more they like the girl the harder they throw. Now that's just kind of sick. But it somehow makes sense to us.

And finally, THE GUYS PERSPECTIVE: This is silly. When we say we have a girlfriend, we mean it. 

BUT…….

Ladies, be aware:  If you have to ask yourself whether he's your boyfriend, chances are, he's not.

THE GUYS

Gals/ladies/women: Leave your definition of The Boyfriend. We'll be posting our five favorites the week of August 10th.

Other Guys/men: Leave us your definition of The Girlfriend. We'll be posting our five favorites the week of August 10th. 

Stick to the theme. And NO PROFANITY PLEASE!!!

Enjoy Your Weekend!

"The Continuing Adventures of Bob: I'm a Vegan Now" will be back the week of August 10th.

And next Week for the first time ever!

THE SEWING CIRCLE: Bill, Joe and Aubrey (and maybe Scott) hang, and talk about their feelings.

The GUYS are still the featured site on: www.themommyblog.net

Thanks Mindy!

If you haven't seen her site, CHECK IT OUT. Great stuff!!

And thanks to the MOMS at: momversation.com

Scroll down for: The Future of Kids

Yes, you've come to the correct BLOG. And yes, we do have a serious side.

This post is dedicated to all the parents and kids of the world. We decided to switch things up a bit and move THE GUY'S HORIZON up a day. Our HOT or NOT? series will be on Thursday

If you'd like to read  Part 1 of: The Future of Kids(The Past)  scroll down to last Thursday's post.

And now Part 2

Part 2: The Present and Future of Kids

Last week we reminisced about our childhoods. Now we examine
the present and look to the future.

Today’s world couldn’t be more different. The days of
unabashed freedom are over. Yes, kids play in neighborhoods across the country,
but only in eye shot of a watchful parent. We are all too aware of the
dangers of the world and we hover over our kids protectively. This is not
necessarily a bad thing. It is what it is. The world is dangerous. But it was
when we were young too. Back then our parents had no clue, but not because they
were clueless. They just didn’t have the access we have today. Now every crime
in every small town is on TV or on the internet within hours of it happening.

So we've fought back and combated the dangers of the
world with what we call, scheduling. We reason that if our kids are busy
doing baseball, gymnastics, karate, art, music, dance, math, reading, Spanish,
etc. they won’t have time to get into trouble… OR run into trouble. Makes sense
to us. But another reason for over scheduling is competition. Trying to
keep up with the Jones’s is a reality that IS all too real.

Here’s a conversation reverberating outside many schools and on
soccer sidelines.

”Hey Parent A, what’s up for the summer?”

“Hey Parent B. Well not much. The kids will be off doing the
usual.  David and Tiffany are doing
soccer and lacrosse camp this summer. And Aaron will be at music camp plus he’s
doing a special math program. And then all of the kids will meet with their tutor to get a jump on next year.”

We won’t bore you with the rest of the gory details. But
parent B leaves feeling like the worst kind of parent imaginable. And sure
enough, a few days later his kids are signed up too. That is if they
can even afford to, which is another big problem in itself that THE GUYS won’t
be addressing today. (Too large a topic for this post) But all of this scheduling starts to feel like a business with our kids being the product. Gain skills. Make contacts. Promote. Advertise. Goal reached.

The problem is that offering so many "opportunities" to our kids, we are actually depriving them of many of the joys of being children.

That brings us to the future. We imagine kids
will soon have skills programmed into them as babies, like in the movie, "The Matrix." They might as well just skip
being a toddler, a kid, a pre-teen and a teen. Forget growing pains. Forget learning
how to tie a shoe, or speaking a first word, or seeing snow for the first time.
Or riding a bike. Or having a first crush. Forget that. Let’s just get them
prepared for the real world. College scholarships. Wallstreet. The faced paced
world of being an adult and parent! Because we are a fast forward nation. We
want things NOW! And that’s what we’re doing to our kids. They will be missing what
essentially makes them interesting: the experiences and growing pains of
childhood.

But also just as important… We, as parents are going to miss it too, if we don’t take a step back soon. We’ll miss the joys of
childhood. The ups and downs of life as a young person. The victories and
defeats that make parenting so difficult, yet so gratifying and precious.

Because one of the greatest things about being a parent, is
getting to be a kid all over again.

So let’s take our hand off fast forward and try to enjoy the
moment.

Oops…..Gotta run….we’re late for soccer.

THE GUYS

In the Video below we filmed two of THE GUYS giving their opinion on the question being asked. We'd love to hear from more GUYS about this topic. Leave us a comment. Or send us a video of yourself answering the question. We'll check it out and who knows…. we may even add your response to our next Video day.

Please send videos to: support@theguysperspective.com

Today is a very cool day for THE GUYS. We're the featured site of the day on The Mommy Blog.

www.themommyblog.net

This is the Blog of Melinda(Mindy) Roberts, one of the panelists on momversation. com

If you're unfamiliar with Momversation you should check it out. You'll dig it.

We're honored to be recognized by her/them.

Thanks Mindy and the rest of the MOMS.

THE GUYS

To get caught up, read last week's post. "The Continuing Adventures of Bob: I'm a Vegan Now" Scroll down to last Monday.

Here we go:

Bob and his buddy Jim: At a coffee shop

Jim: Sorry I missed the big BBQ last weekend. I heard it was
fun.

Bob: Yeah, it was OK.

Jim: Everyone was raving about Torrie. They said she's quite something!

Bob: Yeah, but I don’t know how long that’s going to last.

Jim: Why? Is it that Vegan thing?

Bob: Yeah.

Jim: It sounds crazy. I know I could never do it. I mean giving up hamburgers, steak, chicken. That’s crazy!

Bob: I know. I know. But I’m actually doing fine abstaining.

Jim: Excuse me, did you just say, abstaining?

Bob: Yeah I did, what the…Oh my god, what am I turning into?

Jim: Maybe, you're getting smarter.

Bob: Funny….seriously, this is killing me! I've had to give up all sorts of stuff.

Jim: Like what?

Bob: Like softball for instance.

JIm: What????

Bob: Well the gloves are leather. An animal product. I tried making a glove out of string and cardboard, but it just didn’t cut it. I kept getting hit in
the face..

Jim: That's rough man.

Bob: Yeah it is. But the bigger problem is, I just can’t keep
up with all the rules. I’ve actually had to write them all down in a journal.
Everyday I learn about something else I can’t do.

Jim: So why is Torrie so mad?

Bob: Because while I was mowing the lawn I saw some dog
poop and asked her what I should do.

Jim: What do you mean?

Bob: Well, I was afraid I might break a rule if for some reason I ran over the dog poop. Well, you know, it does come from an animal.

Jim: That sounds pretty extreme. What did she say?

Bob: She said I was a complete moron. Then
she told me to GO SIT IN IT. And she stormed out and went back to her apartment.

Jim: Well I hate to say it, but I kind of agree with her.

Bob: Thanks a lot.

Jim: Well then what happened?

Bob: After she left, I just…..I just couldn't help myself.

Jim: What did you do?

Bob: I lowered the blades on the mower to as low as they could go, and I just put them right over the poop. It shot all over the yard, on to the house, the car, the neighbor's dog. It was quite cleansing in fact. Of course now I have to clean it all up.

Jim: Dude, you are sick. You better go apologize to Torrie or something.

Bob: I plan on it. She's coming over for dinner. If you call cabbage and carrots, dinner. But first, I gotta go clean up the evidence…..see ya.

Jim: Yeah, later. And good luck.

AND til' next time…..

THE GUYS

Tomorrow: Question/Answer: Video Footage in "Animation"…kind of.

Happy Friday. Scroll down for the most infectious laugh on You Tube.

Our first Video! Many more on the way.

We hope you've had a good week.

And we hope you have an even better weekend.

We'll be relaxing and taking it easy. Yeah, right!

The Weekend

Guys: Take your girlfriend, partner or wife out this weekend! Watching On Demand movies every Friday and Saturday gets old.

Ladies:  Go happily. Your man is trying.

Next Week

Monday: The Continuing Adventures of Bob: I'm a Vegan…(Still)

Tuesday: Question/Answer(Video)

Wednesday: Hot or Not?

Thursday: The Guy's Horizon: Part Two: The Present and Future of the Kid

Friday: Question and Answer//Random Thought//The Weekend

Thanks,

THE GUYS

The Guy’s Horizon: The Future of Kids(Part One: Remembering)

When we were kids things were different. Waking up each
summer day, we had no idea what we might be doing, other than possibly getting
into trouble. After breakfast, we’d hightail it into the neighborhood to see
what was on the agenda for the day. These activities consisted of: Rock Throwing, Capture the Flag, Kickball, Bike Riding(w/out helmets of course), Exploring the Woods, Crossing Creaks, Buying Comics and Candy, and basically
doing whatever we could think of. We’d go back home only when the hunger pangs
were too much to stand.

Upon arriving for lunch we’d often be accompanied by a few
kids from the neighborhood. It was kind of an unspoken agreement among the
moms, that whomever showed up hungry, got fed. It was pretty easy to feed an
army of kids back then. Sandwiches, chips and Koolaid were standards on the menu.
Sometimes we’d get apple slices or carrots, but we didn’t visit those houses
often. We always knew which houses kept Ho Hos, Twinkies, Bologna, Doritos and
other junk food, and we’d magically appear around lunch or snack time. 

Things were easy. Free spirited. After lunch we’d be gone
til around dusk, give or take an hour or so. Our parents would just yell out
the back door for us to come home. If we didn’t hear them another parent would,
and that parent would just yell too. It was like a long distance telephone game
ringing throughout the neighborhood. And somehow it worked.

However, our life as a kid wasn’t without a lot of growing
pains.  The laws of the neighborhood
were clear. The biggest, oldest and strongest kids made the rules. They  were The Captains and picked first. (The
teams were NEVER fair.) They were also the referees, which of course made things
even more lopsided. They also decided when the game was over. Other kids could
voice their opinions, but the rules still didn’t change. Every day the “bosses”
would pick their favorite kid for the day, similar to favored nation status.
This kid would join the big kids for the day and get to do be a boss too. The
problem was, once the kid got a taste of what it was like to be in charge, it
was hard to come back to the other side. But eventually as the big kids moved
on, we all got to be bosses. And so we elbowed and punched and argued and
negotiated our way through childhood. And we learned how to survive.

Next week:
Part Two: The Present and Future

Tomorrow: Random thought of the week? ..and…. The Weekend.

Welcome to our weekly "Question and Answer" segment. Things are heating up!

Dear Guys,

My Boyfriend "wants" me all of
the time. He’s the first boyfriend I’ve had who's like this. Are there other guys
like him?

Jenny in Maryland

Dear Jenny,

Do you really have to ask?

First of all, if your boyfriend
wants to have sex with you all the time, isn’t that a good thing? From The
Guy’s Perspective this certainly is a good thing. He’s obviously attracted to
you physically and must feel the two of you have a lot of chemistry. So we hope
you ARE happy about this, although from your tone, we’re not so sure.

Guys think about sex all the time.
Any time, any place. And we mean any. This is how we’re wired. You could be shopping together for shower curtains and he's thinking, "Wow that design really makes me want to have sex!" Sure, there are
varying degrees of intensity. Your boyfriend might be on the more intense end
of that spectrum, but believe us when we tell you, guys are generally wired the
same.

When a Guy pursues a woman, it’s
because he’s attracted to her in some way. (Translation: He wants to have sex
with her.) But sex alone isn’t generally enough for a GUY to want to commit long
term. He’s looking for a woman who is intelligent, trustworthy and genuine.
He’s looking for someone he can introduce to his family. But this is only after
he’s decided he’s attracted to her.

So enjoy yourself. Intimacy between
people who care about one another is a wonderful thing.

Yes, your man is a dog. All men
are! But when people think of dogs, what is the first thing they think of? 
Yes…….LOYALTY.

So hopefully you have that variety
of dog.

If you have the "other" variety,
discard him quickly. Because “Human Dogs” cannot be trained.

ENJOY!

THE GUYS

TOMORROW: HOT or NOT?

THE CONTINUING ADVENTURES OF BOB: I’m a Vegan Now

Good day! We’d like to start off the week with a little humor.
It’s our relationship humor series every Monday morning.

And we’d like to qualify this post by saying, the ideas expressed in this skit do not necessarily reflect the opinions of THE GUYS. We think people should decide for themselves what lifestyle works and doesn’t work for them. No seriously, we’re not kidding! …..Really, we’re serious!!! Oh, forget it. Let’s get on with it.

And now an excerpt from THE
CONTINUING ADVENTURES OF BOB!

At a backyard BBQ

Bob and girlfriend arrive. Rich and Dave are cooking on Rich’s deck.

Bob: Hey guys what’s up!

Rich and Dave together: Hey Bob.

Bob: I’d like you to meet my new girlfriend, Torrie.

Rich and Dave: Nice to meet you.

Torrie: Nice to meet you too. (Pause) Hey, do you mind if I use your bathroom?

Rich: Sure no problem. Turn left when you get in the house.

Torrie: Thanks. (She goes in the house)

Rich: Wow Bob, she’s smokin!

Dave: Totally!!

Rich: So what does she see in you?

Bob: I have NO idea.

Dave: Are you guys ready for some food! Hamburgs,
Hotdogs, Steak, Chicken. We got it all.

Rich: Sounds great.

Bob: No thanks.

Dave: What do you mean no thanks? You love meat! And we’ve
got everything!

Bob: I know, but no thanks. I’m a vegan now.

Rich: A virgin!? But I thought you said….

Bob: I didn’t say virgin you goob, I said vegan.

Dave: What’s a vegan. I’ve never heard of it.

Bob: It means I no longer eat meat, dairy or anything that comes from an
animal.

Dave: Are you messing with us?

Bob: No, I’m serious.

Rich: That’s crazy. When did you start this?

Bob: (Says quietly) Listen guys, this is killing me. Just
smelling this meat is making my insides explode. But don’t make a big deal
about it. Torrie was insistent that I become a vegan. I’m OK about it. Don’t say ANYTHING! I don’t want her to feel uncomfortable.

George arrives.

George: Hey guys. What’s up?

All: Hey George.

Dave: George, did you know Bob’s a vegan?

George: (To BOB) So you’ve been lying all these years??!!

Bob: You guys are idiots! Listen George, I want to tell you about my girlfriend.

George(cuts him off): Hold on Bob, I’m starving… Dave, let me
help with the food. Who wants what?

Torrie returns.

Bob: George this is my girlfriend, Torrie.

Torrie: Nice to meet you.

George: Nice to meet you too. Ladies first. What would you like to
eat Torrie?

Torrie: I’ll have a hamburger.

Bob, Rich and Dave: WHAT??!!!

Rich: I thought you and BOB were vegans.

Torrie: I never said “I” was a vegan. This is just my way of balancing things out.

Rich: How so?

Torrie: Well since the beginning of time, men have treated women like meat. Calling us “Toots” and “Honey” and grabbing at us like we’re cattle. So I figured it’s time to even the score. If I’m a piece of meat, Bob’s a vegan. Sounds like a fair swap to me.What do you think Bob?

Bob: Sounds fair to me.

Rich and Dave and George: Ouch!

Tomorrow: Question/Answer: Guys and Sex

We have been enjoying our weekend. We hope you have as well.

We have some fun posts this coming week. Here is our schedule.

Monday: Relationship Humor: The Continuing Adventures of Bob: I'm a vegan now

Tuesday: Question/Answer: Guys and Sex

Wednesday: HOT or NOT? (We'll be discussing: Squirrels, Dunkin Donuts, Green Day and more)

Thursday: The Guy's Horizon: The Future of Kids

Friday: Random Thought of the week? PLUS, Question/Answer  AND The weekend: What to Check out and What to Avoid.

See you tomorrow. To subscribe, click the tab at the top left of this page.

THANKS,

THE GUYS

Please tell us what, or whom, you're checking out this weekend. Or avoiding!

Things to check out this Weekend (Maybe you'll spot one of THE GUYS)

"War Tapes" our new favorite band will be at the Paradise tonight.
These kids are talented. If you're looking for a hard driving, doom pop experience check them out. The vocal interplay between brother, Neil and sister, Becca is particularly beautiful. Look for us, we'll be the ones in skinny pants and eyeliner. Oh, sorry, we mean khakis and a polo.(www.wartapesband.com)

The Ballpark
Yes, we mean baseball. We've got nothing more to say. It's fun.

The Beach.
Anytime we can take in the sun, the sand, the ocean and the scenery we do it. And we prefer Bocci over Volleyball. It's hard to hold a cold one while spiking the ball in your buddy's face.

Your Kids.
If you work all week, why are you out playing golf on the weekend without your family? Get your butt up and go for a bike ride, or play tennis, basketball, or something with your kids. Otherwise you're just a donor. 

Things to Avoid

Forgetting the sun screen.

Sure tans look great, but the days of baking in baby oil are over. And honestly, full body freckles aren't that cute.

Ruining your neighbor's beer.

We were at the
ballpark the other day, and the annoying lemonade guy threw the change
at us. NO, we're not cheap! Don't you think $4.25 is enough for a
lemonade? Of course we wish we had let him keep it. One of the quarters
plopped right into the woman's beer who was sitting next to us. It
wasn't our fault though. Really! First she felt bad about our quarter.
But when it dawned on her that she couldn't drink her beer anymore….Can we say….AWKWARD!! 

Rushing. 

Just let the guy go in front of you. Obviously he is more important than you anyway. But who cares.
He'll be dead by 44. And you'll be cruising happily into retirement.

ENJOY!

THE GUYS

What you missed this week if you were actually working!

The Guy's Horizon: The Future of Friends

HOT or NOT?

Question/Answer

Relationship Humor

Enjoy!

We wanted to wait until all the guesses were in. Most of you were right on. Our guest Blogger wrote about "Patrick Swayze" and "Jon and Kate."

Most of you guessed Mr. Swayze because you didn't think THE GUYS would talk about him. Are you kidding!? We loved "Dirty Dancing" just like all the rest of you. And we've been a fan ever since.

Our best wishes go out to him and his family.

As for Jon and Kate. Well enough said.

We love social networking as much as the next GUY. So here's our take on where it's been and where it's going. Enjoy!

(To our Readers: If you enjoy this article or any other post on this BLOG, we ask that you Stumble it, Digg it,and post it on any other social site. Funny, that we should say that right before this article!)

The Guy's Horizon: The Future of the Friend

In the new millennium, the term “Friend” has become loosely
defined. Sure we have our traditional friends that we’ve known since high
school or college. Most of us consider these friends to be our core group.
These are the people we might confide in or ask for help if we ever needed
something. We also have our work friends, whom we enjoy at an occasional BBQ or
Happy Hour with. And then we have our friends who we might see once a week
through various activities like tennis team, book club or the occasional adult
class.

But what about all these other friends?

If you’re not hooked into the social networking scene in some way, you’ve
probably  been locked away in a room for
the last 10 yrs. eating jello pudding and watching “I Love Lucy” reruns. Otherwise
you belong to one of the many, many sites that have infiltrated the web. Sites
like My Space, Facebook dominate, but you also have Plaxo, LinkedIn, Stumble
Upon, SecondLife, Propeller, Mixx, Reddit, etc. The list goes on and on. And
new ones are popping up weekly.

Let’s start with My Space. When The Guys heard about this,
it had already had been chugging along for a year or so. It was initially a way
for young people to communicate with other young people w/out their parents
knowing about it. But it soon morphed into a place we all could go for
friendship. Yes, THE GUYS were late to the gate, but we caught up quickly and
joined the competition. Because that’s exactly what it is. A competition for
friends!  Who has the most, who has the
hottest, who is friends with the most celebrities, rock stars and even
politicians? Sure, if you’re at the top of the food chain it’s a great way to
get your message across. Top Dog says, I’ll be performing here, or speaking
there, and all the little minions get the message including us. Somehow we feel
important BECAUSE we’re "friends” with these people. Somehow we feel part of
their world because their picture is on our page. And even better? We can make
them our top friends!! We have proof because it says right on our page: TOP
FRIENDS. Wow, this is amazing!! Of course, they have no idea who we
might be, because they’re not even on My Space. They’ve hired someone to set
the page up and collect friends. So let’s sum this up. We’re part of a
collection, like stamps or comic books. And this entire collection is friends with
someone who isn’t even there. Weird?! But brilliant!!

Now let’s examine Facebook. Facebook seems to be the new My
Space. But in essence it can never be like My Space because it has it’s own
purpose and design. Facebook was first utilized by the over thirty crowd to
help them find people they once knew from high school and college. It was all
about reconnecting with people from the past, often old flames or crushes. And
THE GUYS have enjoyed this as well. There’s no better feeling than getting a
friend request from a girl who spurned us, only to find out she's now bald,
with less teeth than kids. We know that’s mean, but don’t pretend you don’t
know what WE mean! Sure there have been a ton of sweet moments, like finding an
old friend we’ve lost touch with, or having someone we didn’t know that well
reach out to us.

But normally this is how it goes when reconnecting with an old friend:

1^st Contact: Friend request with message. “HEY!
How have you been? It’s been forever? What are you up to?”

Reply: Friend accepts with message: “Wow, long time. Great
to hear from you! It’s been forever. What’s up? I’ve been, blah, blah, blah…….”

2^nd Contact: “That is so great. I’ve been, blah,
blah, blah….If you’re ever in  (fill in
city) We should get together.”

Reply: “Uh….sure. Let’s keep in touch” (Now this person gets
a bit uneasy. They say to themselves, “It was fun to reconnect, but do I really
want this person as a real friend.”

3^rd Contact: “Sounds good. I’ll be in touch.
Hopefully we’ll get together at some point soon.”

Reply:  There isn’t
one. Only uncomfortable silence.

This could go the other way too, where the initiator gets
uncomfortable. We just want to illustrate an interaction that is a very big
part of Facebook and social networking in general.  What we really want from our social networking sites is to keep
them just that. We call this the three F’s: Fun, flirting, and Fantasy. We’re
not really looking to add the fourth F in there: Friends. We just want to be
part of a bigger world. We want to be part of our own reality show, without
having to get embarrassed on TV. What could be better?

We could go on and on, but you get the picture. So THE GUYS are wondering
what’s in store for the future of friends and friendship?

We can imagine a virtual world where all our friends on
every social networking site will be connected. Where our friends on My Space
will be able to connect with our friends on Facebook. So if we have a problem
with a friend on Facebook, we can say one of our friends on My Space will beat
them up if they don’t stop posting those unflattering pictures of us on their
bulletin board. And by the time it ends, everyone will be friends with
everyone. And we mean everyone. No more six degrees of separation. There will
be no separation!!

So if you already are friends with everyone, what’s left to
do? What will happen?

Something akin to an online plague. Except everyone will be
wiped out. Erased. No memory, no identification, no anything. We’ll start
completely over with a clean slate.

And after that we’ll start a new social networking site. It
will be called, pick up the phone and call an old friend.

Someone who actually knows you.

THE GUYS

Please let us know what you think? We take comments, suggestions and donations!

Good Day. It's Tuesday, July 14.

Today features our "Question/Answer" segment.

(The names have been changed out of respect for privacy.)

Hello Guys,

My name is Jane. I will be 30 years old in September. I
have one question.

I'm in a long term relationship with my live in boyfriend. We've
been together 8 years and 4 months and 8 days. We plan to get married next year. But I have one question. Do I want to spend the rest of my life with this man? Greg is his name.

He has "habits" and I don't. That's all I can say.

I have issues trusting men because I was abused as a
young teen. I'm not
perfect. I'm very insecure about the way I look inside and outside. I just want
to know how to get past that.

I need help very much and that's all I can say right now because I
have a hard time trusting anyone in my life including family, friends and my
boyfriend. I don't know what to do with all this? I don't understand.

Please give me good
advice on this.

Sincerely,

Jane

Dear Jane,

Thanks for writing. You have asked some very serious
questions. We will give our opinion on your situation, but that’s all we can
offer really. This might be beyond our scope. 

After giving this a lot of thought, we feel that you may
want to wait to get married until you have resolved some of these issues. Or at
least until you feel like you can trust the man you’re going to spend your life
with. Trust is the foundation for any relationship. If you’re not feeling this
way you need to figure out why.

Have you gone to see someone about your childhood abuse? If
not, we highly recommend that you seek a professional that can help you work
through some of your experiences. Children who have been abused often have
trouble trusting people in general, even the people they are the closest with.
So please consider this course of action. We also recommend that any type of therapy you do, you do by yourself, and not with your fiance. If you’re not
comfortable with yourself and who you are inside and out, you’ll have a very
difficult time being comfortable with someone else.

In addition, if you are serious about Greg, then the two of
you might also want to consider seeking couples counseling and go together
to work through some of your collective issues. Not only your issues of trust and doubt,
but also his “habits.” You weren’t specific about what the habits are, but
since you mentioned them, we assume they are bothering you enough to doubt
whether he’s the right guy for you. This counseling is separate from what we’re
recommending for you individually. We think you might want to consider doing both. However, working on your own issues would be first and foremost in our minds.

We hope this is making sense.

If you’re worried that you’re approaching 30 and still not married, put that out of your mind. Don’t get married just because you think you
should. Get married because you love your partner and you want to spend your
life with him. If Greg is the man for you, you’ll know. But you need to get a
lot of questions answered first. 

Also, many health insurance companies help pay for professional services such as we are describing. If you decide to look into this, you should contact your insurance company and inquire.

We wish you the best in figuring this out. Please keep us informed. And take care.

THE GUYS

Tomorrow: The next edition of "HOT or NOT?" (Changed from Thursdays to Wednesdays)

Since our BLOG is relatively new, this is the first installment in our Relationship Humor series. Every Monday we'll be sharing with you funny scenarios, comics and commentary on the modern relationship.

We welcome any material that you'd like to submit. And if you'd like to be a GUEST WRITER, contact us or leave us a comment. 

THE WEEK AHEAD:

Tuesday: Question/Answer

Wednesday: HOT or NOT? (Moved from Thursday)

Thursday: The Guy's Horizon: Our take on the future.

Friday: The weekend plus other goodies.

The Arrangement: A Parable

Adapted from an old Comic Strip

A man and a wife lived in a nice suburb with their two kids.
They had a very traditional arrangement. He would go to work every day and she
would stay home with the kids and tend to all the household duties. This
arrangement seemed to work well for quite a while until one night the husband expressed his dissatisfaction.

“I’m starting to feel a little resentful. I go to work all day, every
day. The commute is horrible, my boss is a pain in the butt, and I’m stressed
all day long. And you get to stay home and relax.”

The wife, now slightly annoyed, looked at him and said, “I
don’t relax all day. There’s too much to do. And the kids….”

The husband cut her off and said, “Please. What do you do all day?”

By now, the wife was far beyond annoyed, so she said, “I’m
not having this conversation right now with you.” And she went upstairs to
finish the last book of the “Twilight” series.

The next day, after the man went to work, the wife decided
to teach him a lesson. While her kids were at pre-school she relaxed, just as her husband said. She had coffee
with a friend. She worked out. She had lunch with more friends. She read a book
with a nice cup of tea. After she picked up the kids, she let them play by themselves while she watched a few shows on TV. Then she ordered take out from Domino's.

When the husband came home, the place was a wreck and he was outraged. “What the heck
happened here. This place is a mess? And you know I don't like take out food?!!"

The wife looked at him with a smile and said, “Remember last
night when I told you I do a lot of things during the day?” 

He nodded, “Yes?”

”Well I didn’t do them today.”

After that order was restored. The husband apologized and changed his tune. And they were happy once again.

THE GUYS

TOMORROW: QUESTION/ANSWER

Looking ahead to the week.

Our first installment of: RELATIONSHIP HUMOR…….TOMORROW!!

PLUS:

Questions/Answers

HOT or NOT?

The GUY's Horizon

Here's our next question:

Dear Guys,

I’m in a relationship with a wonderful man. He’s pretty much
exactly what I’m looking for, except one thing. He smokes. I don’t. He’s very
considerate and always smokes outside, but something about it doesn’t sit right
with me. What can I do?

Deirdra in Texas

Hey Deirdra,

Unfortunately you can’t do anything about it. It’s an
addiction. And it’s not an easy addiction to get over. Some of THE GUYS used to
smoke and some still do. Even THE GUYS that have quit, say they wake up most
mornings wishing they could have a cigarette. So as you can imagine, it’s not
an easy situation to be in no matter how you look at.

We have some questions for you. Have you said anything to
him about how you feel? We’re assuming you have. If so, how did he respond?
You’re going to have to take your cues from him. Does he want to quit? And we
don’t mean in general terms. We mean, is he 100% committed to quitting?
Otherwise it’s going to be a losing battle for him and you. He has to be ready
on his own to go through it. And if he chooses that path, it’s your job as
someone who cares for him to support him in anyway you can. That’s the best you
can do.

If he’s not 100% ready to quit, then you have to decide how
long you want to wait before he makes a decision. And if his decision is, he
wants to be a smoker, you’ll have to figure out what you want to do moving
forward.

That’s about all we can say. We’re not experts on addiction. We hope this is helpful.

THE GUYS

Good Day. It's the weekend! We hope you're enjoying the sun wherever you are in the country.

So it's time to reveal the topic written by the GUEST BLOGGER. Drum ROLL PLEASE………….

He wrote about "Entourage."

If you missed it, scroll down to the post:  HOT or NOT?

Congrats if you got it right.

Next Thursday, we'll continue our Hot or Not? series, with another GUEST. This time a female. Will it be easier to guess? Check it out next week. 

And for commentary on AMAZON'S KINDLE, read Friday's post entitled: THE GUY'S HORIZON.

Now it's time for another relationship question.

Hi Guys,

I’m being set up on a blind date. My friend gave the guy my
number two weeks ago and he hasn’t called. She also gave me his number. Should
I call him or wait? I hear he’s an interesting guy, so I’d like to go out with
him, at least once.

Rachel in Massachusetts

Hey Rachel,

Thanks for writing. We’re going to make this short and
sweet.

Don’t call him. If he really wants to call you, he will.
He’s probably a bit skeptical, being that it is a blind date. It’s probably not
his first choice of how he’d like to meet people. Nor yours, we’re sure. So sit
tight. If he lost your number and he’s still interested he’ll retrieve it from
your friend. Let him step up to the plate and be responsible. We think he
should take the initiative.

But let’s not project too much. Just wait a bit. If you haven’t called your
friend yet, give her a call and see what she thinks.

Keep us posted.

The Guys

GUEST BLOGGER REVEALED TOMORROW! IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO GUESS WHICH TOPIC THE GUYS DIDN'T WRITE. SCROLL DOWN TO YESTERDAY'S POST, HOT or NOT? LEAVE US A COMMENT WITH YOUR GUESS. OR EMAIL US. (Also tomorrow: Our next installment of questions and answers.)

The Guy’s Horizon

This is where we look to the future and ponder what might be
in store for us. It could be this weekend, next month, a year from now or
twenty years down the road. Hopefully we'll still be around. (Knock on wood.)

Times are tough for many of us. But somehow certain people
are able to navigate through the littered landscape and thrive in this
recession(if you’re an optimist)….. in this depression(if you’re not). And some
companies are also using the down turn to launch and re-launch innovative new products.

Take Amazon for example. A guy leaves his high-powered job
on the east coast to work for an online bookstore on the west coast. He leaves
his corporate office to work in a cramped office space with few amenities.
This was Amazon at its origin. Now many years later the guys from Amazon are
trying to alter the course of how we read, just as Apple altered the course of
how we listen to music. And they seem to be doing it.

When the Kindle was first introduced we scoffed! Who’s going
to pay $400 for a device that only has one function? We couldn’t imagine who
would want to curl up in front of a fire, with a nice cup of tea and a Kindle.
Of course we still can’t understand why millions of people bought a Pet Rock
either.

But when a product alters the future, it also alters the
very essence of how it is consumed. For example, the days of owning
expensive home stereos are long gone. Yes, some of THE GUYS are audiophiles.
They talk about these speakers and that turntable. We pretend to listen, but we
don’t really understand or care. The ipod changed all that. (No, we haven’t
forgotten the Walkman, but it’s just not the same. Think
Suzanne Somers and ummm…..what’s her name?) Anyway, nowadays most people like
us, listen to music on the go: running, walking, working out, or in their car.
The actual quality of music has diminished with the MP3, but the quantity has
expanded ten fold. So our expectations have now changed. We expect to be able
access any music in seconds, anywhere on the planet. But we don’t care if it
was recorded in somebody’s basement. All we care about is getting it quickly
and cheaply. And who even has time to sit around and actually listen to music
wholly by itself? It’s been relegated to the background.

So the guys from Amazon thought, "If Apple can do it with
music why can’t we do it  with reading? Let us brainstorm.”  And they did. As they
held hands in a Quaker moment of silence, some were compelled to shout out
ideas. These were some of the obscenities that came out.

“The days of books are slowly headed for extinction.”

“Students today no longer take notes. They get their assignments at a place called
Moodle.”

“Plagiarism is par for the course with the enormous reach of
the web.”

“We must help people multi-task even more.”

“Let us create the Kindle.” 

And they rejoiced.

And now we say to ourselves, have they finally done it? Will the Kindle be our
great savior? The tool that will help us read even faster, so we can cram more and more stuff
into our day? Will it finally let us skim over all those detailed descriptions,
or the methodical developing of characters, or the slow and sensual unfolding
of the plot? Hooray for the Kindle!!! And we rejoiced. 

Or did we?

Yes, THE GUYS think the Kindle is quite keen. And it seems
it’s here to stay. But let’s not forget that faster is not always better. It’s
time once again, to savor the simple pleasures of life.

Like ice cream, even when you couldn't possibly eat another bite of dinner.

Or early morning quiet.

Or a great conversation that flows like improv.

Or watching your kids grow up.

Or dark chocolate, a great workout. Sex. (Yes we said it.)

Oh of course, let’s not be too hasty. We have one more thing to savor.

Curling up by the fire with a cup of sweet tea and a
great page-turner.

One that we can actually TURN the pages.

THE GUYS

PS. Shhhh…………..we can’t wait to download our first
book. That is, as soon as our Kindle arrives this weekend.

Tomorrow we’ll be critiquing:

Customer Service, Toys for Men, Toys for Women, Katy Perry,
Crosswalks, Chelsea Handler, Bike Pants and MORE!

See what rating we give each: HOT! or NOT!!!

Read Below for the question of the day!

Good day. It's Wednesday, July 8, 2009.

Before we get to the question of the day and our response, we have a few questions for all the women/young women who might be reading this.

When you say Mr. Right, what do you actually mean? Does this mean you believe there is only one "right" GUY for you, or do you think there could be more than one "right" GUY? And what qualifications does a GUY need to have, to be classified as Mr. Right?

These are questions that ALL GUYS would like to know. Please feel free to leave a comment and enlighten us. 

Now for the question of the day.

Dear Guys,

I’ve come to a crossroads in my life and I’m not sure what
to do. I’m getting kind of sick of looking for Mr. Right. I just haven't met anyone I want to be with for the rest of my life. The fact is, I want to start a
family soon and I’m not getting any younger. If I decide to have a baby on my own, how would I guy feel about that, if I did
meet someone great in a few years?

Christine, Michigan

Dear Christine,

Thanks for the question. 

First of all, we understand your situation. If you wait too
long, you may not be able to have a child of your own. “Mr. Right” may be around the corner, but
that’s not for certain. Of course is anything in life? Obviously, you’ve been thinking
about this for some time, so we trust you understand what you’re possibly going
to undertake.

For this question we consulted with some of our more
“experienced” GUYS to get an overview on parenting. They said raising a child was the most difficult thing
they ever did. They also said it was the most wonderful experience too. Having a supportive spouse to
offer another viewpoint, or to hold a crying baby in the middle of the night, or to
just have someone to talk with about the overwhelming responsibility of raising
a child, was key for all of them. Unfortunately you won’t have that luxury, so you’ll have to do it all
by yourself. Hopefully you will have a strong support network to lean on when you need help or advice.

Now to your basic question. Most guys would prefer to have a family of their own. But this is not necessarily a deal breaker. This goes back to something we
talked about last week. Are GUYS open to dating someone with kids? In your case
a lot will depend on what role you allow your new man to take on. If you keep him at arm's length, he may have a hard time figuring out what his role actually is. But in some ways your situation will be easier for a GUY to enter because the
father of the child won’t be present in body. If your child is still young, it’s likely your new GUY will
want to be a father figure to your child. If your child is older he may want to
be his friend. A lot will depend on how much you trust him. Ask
yourself: Will he actually be a good role model to my child? And will he stay
or leave when the going gets tough? These will be some of the hardest decisions you'll have to make. Remember, if your new guy thinks you're wonderful, he will accept the entire package and most likely
embrace you and your child.

Yes, there are plenty of guys who won’t want to get
involved with you BECAUSE you have a child. But anyone with that attitude you
don’t want anyway.

In our opinion you should give this some more thought. If
you truly decide to move ahead with your plan make sure you’ve consulted with other people who are raising a child by themselves to see what they can share with you. Of course
raising a child is anything but predictable. So expect the unexpected. That’s often the best part!!

WE'LL DROP THE MACHO STUFF FOR A SECOND AND SAY: You have to follow your heart on this one.

Good luck.

THE GUYS

PS. Do you have a surrogate father in mind?

Good day. It’s Tuesday, July 7, 2009.

Scroll down for the question of the day from Haley.

Scooter for his Pleasure?

THE GUYS want to talk about their new favorite infatuation.
Scooters. No, we’re not talking about those cute little motorized Vespas or the
like. We’re talking about the good old-fashioned push scooters. Normally when
you think of scooters you think of kids. But
we’re here to set the record straight. It’s a freakin’ BLAST, even for the over 20 crowd!

But the key is to get an adult scooter, not some tiny little scooter for kids. The coolest ones we’ve checked out are Xootr.com (Urban
Transport) These things are the bomb! They are slick, fast and smooth. Not
exactly qualities you’re hoping for in your GUY, but certainly perfect for a
scooter.

So if you’re looking for a fun and surprising gift for THE GUY in your life,
find him an adult sized scooter. Yeah, we know it’s a little bit geeky. It takes
a confident man to ride around town on a skateboard with a handle, but it took a confident man to ride down the slopes on a snowboard, and now look.

So evaluate your man. Is he up for the task? If so, he’ll be psyched. It’s not
often that GUYS get totally superfluous gifts.

And if he doesn’t like it, you just got yourself a Scooter. You'll love it!

No better way to GO GREEN!!

Now for Haley.

Dear Guys,

I’m home from college for the summer and I’m hostessing at a
local restaurant. The bartender there is very cool and it seems we’ve hit it off.
We’ve gone to lunch a few times but that’s it. No dinner, no drinks, dancing or a movie. What does that mean? I’m hoping
this will go somewhere other than the local diner. Can I do anything to move
this along past noon?

Haley, CT

Dear Haley,

Lunch from a Guy’s Perspective can mean a lot of different
things. The key for you is to figure out which one it is.

First scenario. It could mean that he likes you,  but he’s actually shy and
doesn’t have the nerve to ask you on a formal date like dinner. He may be
intimidated by you and scared you'll reject him. If this is the case you
have two choices. Wait until he gets up the courage to ask you out. However, from
what you’re describing,  your summer vacation may be over by the time that happens. Or take
the plunge and ask him out. Of course the risk is he'll say no, in which case
your work environment may be awkward. But as you know, nothing ventured,
nothing gained.

Scenario Two. It could mean he just wants to be friends. And if this is the case, be happy with the
friendship. Maybe he'll introduce you to some of his friends. But you’ll never know unless you go
for it. Of course, as in scenario one, you may be turning your work environment
into an uncomfortable place. But there are always other bars to tend or other places
to hostess.

Scenario Three: It could just mean he moves slowly and wants
to get to know you a bit more. He may be the rare guy who is a little more
patient and careful. In which case you could have a nice relationship develop
over time. If that's what you really want.

Haley: Decide what you're truly looking for and then pick a scenario and go for it. If you want a summer fling, you might need to move it along yourself. If you really see potential beyond that, maybe you should just wait and see how things unfold.

SUMMATION: Unfortunately for women, it's usually best to let THE GUY be the one to create the
pace of the relationship. They like to feel in charge, even if they may not be.
But the problem is that many GUYS have lost their way and have
forgotten how to be direct. And in your current situation, that can be
annoying.

Please let us know.

THE GUYS

TOMORROW: MR. RIGHT or SURROGATE FATHER?

We hope you had a great holiday weekend. We're glad to be home from camping and back to our daily routine of giving our opinions on your dating questions. Here's a new question from one of our younger clients. However, this topic seems to resonate with all women no matter what age.

We break it down several ways to give you THE TOTAL GUY'S PERSPECTIVE.

Dear Guys,

I am 17 and in high school. The boys in our school seem
infatuated with well-developed and flirtatious girls, of which I'm neither. I'm more of a jock. I play soccer and basketball and hang out with my girlfriends. But I am interested in boys and would like to be
part of the “scene” in some way. Is it true that all they care about is looks?

Heather, Indiana

Dear Heather,

Thanks for writing. We're glad you play organized sports and are doing your own thing. More girls should follow your example. So let's get to your question. 

Looks definitely matter to guys. We’d be lying to you if we said
they didn’t. But it’s not necessarily as bad as it sounds. Well  break it down for you.

It’s our best estimate that 99% of guys would agree on the
looks of about 15% of the women in the world. Meaning, almost every guy would
agree on the looks of a small percentage of women. So this means that looks are
generally a subjective thing. And that’s  good  in many ways. (We know
you’re in high school so women can also mean girls your age.)

Since looks are subjective, guys generally
gravitate towards other guys with slightly different tastes in looks. This way if a group of guys meets a group of women, the guys will go after different women in the group.  If groups weren't formed this way it would be a problem. Women would wonder why all of a sudden guys were rolling around on the
floor punching each other. Not a big turn on. Guys aren’t stupid, so groups
form that make it possible for them to bond and still meet women. But the boys in your school are slightly different, so let's discuss them first.

We
asked our younger brethren, your peers, what they thought about this topic and predictably looks seemed to
matter a lot to them. We can’t blame our younger comrades. Once their hormones
kick in it’s like their blinders are finally removed. A whole new
world opens up to them and they can’t handle it. The biggest problem is that
their hormones are well ahead of the rest of themselves developmentally. So
it’s like they have super powers they can’t control. It takes almost nothing to
set these powers off: a flash of skin, a friendly gesture, a walk down the
hall, a touch. Although they work hard to control themselves, it’s not easy for
them. Unfortunately that’s whom you’re dealing with right now: Young Vampires.

GUYS in their twenties are slightly different, but still
resemble their younger selves. However as their brains catch up to their bodies, things
settle down a bit. That’s why we tell our younger clients to be patient. Things
will change. GUYS mature….eventually! And with that maturity brings a bit more
clarity and more subjectivity in terms of looks. The one thing we hope you
won’t do is get too fed up with boys your own age and try to date someone a lot
older. That’s never a good thing. Sure the OLDER GUYS seem more confident and
interesting, which IS attractive. But at your age, dating someone even three
years older is not something we recommend. Why? Because GUYS are still GUYS. We
wish we were more responsible, but unfortunately we might not be.

As guys get in their 30s and up they start to see the world and the women
in it differently. They recognize all the other wonderful qualities that women
have to offer. But even still, looks are still a big part of that equation. You may hear GUYS say, “It’s all good.” This means that all women are attractive
to us in some way. Yes, looks remain a big part of it, but it's bigger than that. It’s how a women carries herself, or what she says, or how she smiles, or what kind of scent she's wearing, or if she's smart, funny, enthusiastic, sensitive, kind,
helpful. The list goes on and on. Looks
are important but they are part of a bigger picture.

So don't give up on the boys your age. They will mature, albeit slowly. And you MAY find a boy who is an exception to the rule. This boy would be called A NERD. This is not a joke. The NERD will more likely see you for the kind of person you are, rather than what you look like. And this is why in the end, NERDS will be king. (But that's for another day)

Good luck,

THE GUYS

We're back. In fact sleeping another night in a wet tent just didn't seem that attractive. We'd rather watch "Titanic" over and over than endure another day and night of camping. So much for summer getting off to a great start!

Onto the topic at hand. Your dates and relationships!

We heard back from Carmen. You might need to scroll down to read her initial question and our answer. But before we get to her response, let's preview the week ahead. We have some serious topics to discuss. 

Do Looks Matter?

You wanna have lunch?

Surrogate Father or Mr. Right?

Plus other musings and comments from THE GUYS!

Here's Carmen.

Carmen from Rhode Island comments on our post: MY FRIEND 

Dear Guys,

Thanks for your thorough response. However, I decided I didn’t want to give up
my time with my guy friend. We have too much fun together talking and hanging
out. I’m not ready to limit that friendship in any way. So I’m just going
to see how it plays out with my boyfriend.

Carmen

Dear Carmen,

We respect your decision. You have to decide what is right
for you.

Just to clarify. In general we aren't commenting on the
fact that you HAVE a guy friend, but more
what you are deriving from it. Putting that much emotional energy into a
friendship could make it difficult for someone else to occupy that space in your life.We'll be interested to see what happens in your current situation.

And just an FYI. We would be telling the same thing to one of THE GUYS if the
situation were reversed. Having a friendship with a person of the opposite sex is a great thing. And we wish that more guys had "girl friends." It might help them see what women are all about. And that's an understatement! However, maintaining such a close bond as you have with your friend while also being in a relationship is a difficult thing to manage. We’re
not saying it’s impossible, but it’s tough to get everyone on the same page.

Threesomes in general don’t usually work out.

THE GUYS

Good Morning. Let's start with a simple equation. Rain plus camping equals disaster. Nothing like being damp, cold and miserable for two days straight. And with the chance of rain for today at 100% it's unlikely that our soaking wet tent and all its contents will have a chance to dry out.This is why we're glad our hard core buds aren't here. We're about to get in our car and head to the closest diner and grab some breakfast and coffee. Then we're planning on revisiting our high school days and go to the mall and walk around, eat at the Food Court and people watch. Of course people is loosely defined.

Yes, as you can see we like to rough it.

On the topic of dating, we got a few email responses from our posts and wanted to share them with you today and tomorrow. (If anyone reading this is too shy to make a comment on our BLOG, feel free to email us at: advice@theguysperspective.com)

Here are the first two follow ups.

Kate from Wisconsin comments on our post: THE CAR RIDE (Scroll down to read initial post)

Hi Guys,

I decided to give him another shot. We went out on Thursday night and he turned out to be a
bigger jerk than you thought. Somehow I thought he might just have had a brain
freeze for that moment when he dropped me off that first night. I guess not. 

Kate

Dear Kate,

We thought you might go out with him again. You did have a
great evening with him. And if it weren’t for the terrible way the night ended
you would have been driving home singing along to Lady Gaga at the top of your
lungs.

However some events have more meaning than others. We know
he’s not some young guy who just doesn’t get it. He’s been around a while and
he should know better. This shows that he has a serious character flaw that
will continue rear its ugly head again and again.

We’re sorry it didn’t turn out better. Next time!

Take care,

THE GUYS

Monica from New York responds to our post: CHIVALRY GONE TOO
FAR?(scroll down to read initial post)

Dear Guys,

What a great idea! I have a great night planned this week
and my boyfriend is really into it. I guess he’s just really into me. I’ll keep
you posted.

Monica

Dear Monica,

Great! Have fun.

THE GUYS

Happy Friday from THE GUYS. We've already taken up residence in the woods. So we're sending this post from a cozy chair next to a crackling fire. Yes, we managed to get it started. Lighter fluid always seems to do the trick.

Over the next two days we'll be posting responses from Kate, Carmen and Monica. You might be surprised at what they said about our answers. And we'll give you our camping update as well.

Enjoy!

ODE TO SUMMER

Summer holds a sacred place in the hearts of men. Why? Because of the possibilities it brings. Somehow
all the things we wished we could be, seem attainable.The world seems more in tune with us and we embrace that with
everything we have. We play as if life were not as complicated as it is. It
brings us back to childhood, when summer was an endless adventure of whatever
we could think of to do. No matter how many years we wear on our bodies, summer
will always make us feel young again. And summer also makes us happier. Partly
because the women of the world leave the confines of their long coats, hats and
jeans and join the summer fun. Somehow we think they’re more open to dating us
just because they’re sitting on the beach or sipping a drink at a bar. It
doesn’t really matter that nothing has changed in reality. But we don’t care.
Our perception of what we can achieve has, and we love summer for that.

So if you’re single, don’t smirk at the annoying guy who
keeps pestering you at the beach. He’s just having a good time. Be patient. He’ll go away eventually. And if you’re in a relationship, sit back and enjoy
your man. His enthusiasm is likely to rub off on you.

A toast to the summer!

THE GUYS

Good day from THE GUYS. Thursday, July 2, 2009.

As we pack up for our camping trip this weekend a few thoughts come to mind. This is not a political BLOG per se, but we want you to know what's been bothering us. (Don't worry, we'll get to the question of the day in a second.)

How come no one is talking about Farrah Fawcett??!!

We certainly are Michael Jackson fans and are sad to see him pass. In our minds, he was probably the greatest pop artist of all time. Of course he was also one of the strangest pop artists of all time. And that's being nice about it.

But Farrah was an icon too! And she's hardly even on the news! She was every guys dream girl. She was sweet, smart and just incredibly HOT! What guy didn't tune in to watch "Charlie's Angels" every week? OR have that famous poster on their wall? She made being sexy look so natural and easy. When she flashed her smile it melted us. And that hair!! That was every hairdressers task, to capture the Farrah look for women around the world.

Her battle with breast cancer was kept secret for a long time, but when it became public, it was clear she had millions of people rooting for her and praying for her. We were part of that group. So we take this time to give thanks to Farrah for all that she did for us. She still holds a prominent place in our hearts and on our walls. May she rest in peace.

So on to the question of the day.

What is it about winning? Or should we say, losing?! We know it's not easy for anyone to taste dirt and smile, but come on!  Read below and see where you stand.

And tomorrow we'll be posting THE GUYS "Ode to Summer."

Dear Guys,

My new boyfriend told me he played tennis. So we played. I
didn’t tell him that I played in high school. He wanted to play some games. I
beat him pretty badly. Afterwards he was sulking a bit. It was kind of
annoying. He’s very interesting and has a lot of good qualities. Should I let
him win next time? I honestly don’t want to, but I do like him and want to keep the
harmony.

Kathy, Florida

Dear Kathy,

Are you kidding??

NO!!!!!!!!!!! Absolutely Not!! Don't let him win!! No vote was needed on this
one.

If this “guy” has so fragile an ego that he can’t lose a
tennis match to you fair and square, well….enough said.

All of us would welcome a sound beating from a worthy
competitor. (No, not in that way) We don’t like to lose, but that doesn’t make
us any different from anyone else with any kind of competitive bent, man or
woman. No one really LIKES to lose. Some people just deal with it better. This
guy obviously is not one of those people. And in some twisted way, he'll probably respect you less if you start letting him win or conceding in other ways.

So we say, don’t let up. Keep pounding those groundstrokes.
If he can’t take it, we’re sure another guy would love to give it a go.

SCORE: 6-love, 6-love, 
GAME, SET, MATCH! 

THE GUYS

It's Wednesday. Good morning/afternoon/evening. 

We're gearing up for a camping trip this weekend. This is the relaxed kind of camping, where there's actually a bathroom a hundred feet from our site. No need to be a hero. Some of the hard core GUYS think we're total wimps, but we just want to have a good time. That includes having the car NEXT to the site in case it starts pouring. And other amenities too. Like the ability to LEAVE the campsite and eat a good meal out, in case we can't get the fire started.

But since we're going to be in the great outdoors we thought it appropriate to talk about hats today. OK, not the greatest segue, but here goes anyway.

Dear Guys,

My boyfriend wears a hat all the time. He wears them when we
go out to a restaurant or to parties. He does look cute in them, but he never
takes them off. And he’s got a bunch of different ones that he rotates. What
should I think about this? Are there other guys like this?

Monica, North Carolina

Dear Monica,

Some guys wear hats as a way to create an identity or make a
fashion statement. All of THE GUYS do wear hats, but usually it’s because we
need some protection from the sun, or we’re playing sports, or most likely we
HAVEN’T showered. We’d say generally, wearing a hat is an easy way of dealing
with the day without having to clean ourselves up. We’re hoping that’s not why
your boyfriend wears his. Going weeks without soap is never a good thing.

Have you brought the subject up at all? If so, what was his
reaction? We say this a lot, but communication is the key. If you’re not sure
how to broach the subject, try starting with a positive. Something like, “You
look so cute in your hats.” “Did you always wear them as a kid?” Get him to
start talking and then ask him about wearing them out with you. And then tell
him you don't love it when he wears them out on a date with you. If he doesn’t like it, well at least he knows where you
stand. You’ll have a much more honest relationship if you talk about this. And
that’s always the best policy in our minds. You know he might think you like
his look since you are dating him. If you tell him otherwise, he may be
happy to leave them at home.

We just have to ask. Does he really wear them ALL OF
THE TIME?

THE GUYS