The Guy’s Perspective

George and Dan in a car going to FA meeting.

George: Damn buses!! What the hell is going on!?

Dan: It’s the first week of school. It’s never a good idea to travel through
town between 8am-9am.

George: (Screams at the bus) C’MON!!! Let’s go, let’s go!!

Dan: Relax George, you’ll frighten the kids!

George: Well, do they have to stop every 30 seconds??!!!

Dan: It’s a school bus George. That’s what they do. They
pick up kids.

George: Well this sucks. That’s for sure.

Dan:  You know what I was thinking?

George: What were you thinking?

Dan: I was thinking I can remember going to school like it was just yesterday.
This time of year always brings me back to animal crackers, recess and Sarah
Goldstone, my first crush.

George: Nice

Dan: But it’s kind of ironic that twenty years later, I’m
driving behind a school bus going to a meeting for sex addiction. Now that’s kind of
sick.

George: Oh please, don’t be so melodramatic. It’s not like
you’ve done anything… just watched a little porn.

Dan rolls his eyes at him

George: …..OK, watched a lot of porn.
What’s the big deal?

Dan: Well Amy, your wife thinks it’s a big deal. Why do you think you’re living
with Bob now?

George:  Please, Amy made a big deal out of nothing. I didn’t even do anything!! It wasn’t
like I cheated on her or something.

Dan: No, but you did deceive her, and for some people that’s
the same thing. Just like you told Bob, remember?

George: Oh, let’s drop it….(Screams out his window) Let’s
go!!  (mutters) Damn school buses!

They arrive at the meeting.

Dan: Now be cool George.

George: You don’t need to tell me to be cool. I’m fine. 

Dan: OK fine…(pause)….

George: Now why are we going to Fetishist Anonymous meeting anyway? Isn't there something like Porn Anonymous?

Dan: Not around here…. This will be fine. (Pause)…. C'mon…let's go. We're gonna miss the meeting.

They enter a small brick building with a central meeting area in
the basement. 10 people are sitting in chairs in a circle. The leader is a
friendly woman with white hair.

Woman: Well hello newcomers. How are you?

Dan and George: (Sheepishly) Hi.

Everyone smiles at them.

Woman: I’m the facilitator here at Fetishist Anonymous. You can
call me Grace, but that’s not my real name. We like to keep some level of
anonymity here at FA. You gentlemen are very welcome.

Dan: Thank you.

George: (Under his breath) What the hell am I doing here?

Grace: So it's time. Who'd like to start the sharing?

A very young women in what looks to be her early 20s raises her hand. Her name is Veronica.

Veronica: Hi everyone, thanks for listening.

Everyone Together: Hi Veronica, we are all yours!

George looks at Dan with that WTF look on his face. Dan
ignores him.

Veronica: Well, I’ve been having a hard time lately. I keep having that same urge to lick my boyfriend’s feet. It seems to be the
only way I can get excited.

She pauses. Everyone nods in encouragement. 

Veronica: My boyfriend is kind of "weirded" out by the whole thing. So I wait until he's asleep and then I lick his feet. I just can't help myself.  After I
do this I’m so hot and bothered I try to wake him up. But that's not working out so well. In fact, just last night I startled him so badly that he woke up kicking. He thought he had a bug on him or something. He knocked me off the bed and chipped
one of my teeth. He felt terrible about it, but it was all my fault.

George is not paying attention.. He’s watching something on
the ground. Dan notices.

Dan (whispers): George, what are you doing? Pay attention.

George (whispers): I can’t. There’s a cockroach on the
ground and I’m afraid it’s going to crawl up my leg.

Dan: Will you cut it out. We’re going to get kicked out of the meeting.

George: I can’t concentrate. Just let me kill that roach and then I’ll pay
attention.

Dan: Just leave the damn thing alone.

Veronica is still talking:

Veronica: Anyway, I’m trying hard not to give in to my urges, but they are so strong….I'm not sure how much more my boyfriend can take.

Grace: Thank you so much for sharing. Would anyone like to
piggyback on to what Veronica was saying? Or does anyone have any thoughts for
her?

Dan raises his hand:

Grace: Yes, dear, would you like to share. Please tell us your name.

Dan: My name’s….uh,…….Fred…..and I’d like to……

CRUNCH!! ………CRACKLE!!!….

George(too loudly): Got you, you little bastard!!

George kills the cockroach. He looks up. Dan looks up
startled. Everyone’s staring in horror. Grace starts glancing nervously to her
right at a very tall women with straight black hair. All of sudden the women
starts to…

MOAN…….Oohhh……..YES!!!!……………….MOAN…………….mmm.mmmm………….. OH….YES!!!!

George: Oh my God, is she having a…..a ……..THE BIG
“O”?? ….Holy shit.

Dan: What the hell did you do?

George: I just stepped on that cockroach.

The moaning continues. Everyone is glancing nervously
around.

Grace: It’s alright everyone. Just stay calm.
Gentlemen, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.

Dan and George slink out of the hall. The woman continues. 

Dan yells at George:

Dan: "Damnit" George what is your problem!!?

George: I just stepped on a cockroach. How was I supposed to know it would make that woman do
that???!!

Dan: C’mon. It’s Fetishist Anonymous for Christ Sake!! Anything could happen.

George: I’m sorry Dan, I just stepped on a bug.

Dan: Well, you had a shitty attitude going in.

George: Yeah and so what!?

Dan: Well you ruined it for me too! Thanks a lot!!

They walk away in silence.

Bob and the gang will be back in two weeks!!

Bob meets Torrie at her place. 

Torrie: Oh Bob it’s so good to see you. (She hugs him)

Bob: Wow, that was nice. I really have been missing you.

Torrie: I've been missing you too Bob. I've had time to do a lot of thinking these last few weeks.

Bob: And so have you come to any conclusions?

Torrie: Actually I have. I realize that you are the best guy I’ve ever
gone out with. I want to put this
all behind us: our disagreements and misunderstandings and the whole vegan
thing.

Bob:  That sounds
good to me. But what do you mean the whole vegan thing?.

Torrie: Bob, I don’t care if you’re a vegan. You don’t have to do
that for me. I know it was kind of ridiculous for me to ask you to do that in the first place.

Bob: Actually, I like being a vegan. I feel great. I
have more energy and I’m in better shape. I should thank you for suggesting it.

Torrie: You really expect me to believe that in a few weeks
you’ve completely changed?

Bob:  Yes, I do. And l now I have a
support group. George is also living the vegan lifestyle. It helps that we have
each other.

Torrie: George??!! Please! I’m sure he’s already sneaking
behind your back and you don’t even know it. So really, enough already. I know you just did it
for me. Well I’m here. I’m yours. Let’s just drop it and go eat some
hamburgers.

Bob:  I don’t want to
drop it and I definitely don't want hamburgers. I want to stay a vegan. I hope you’ll understand.

Torrie (throws up her hands): OK, BOB, Whatever?! (Sarcastically) Let’s just go eat something. I’m starving.

Bob and Torrie go to a sandwich shop. They're standing in a long line.

Torrie:  Did you just
see that?

Bob: What?

Torrie:  That old lady totally cut in
line!

Bob:  What old lady?

Torrie: That old lady right there. She’s pretending like she doesn’t see us all standing right here.

Bob:  Who cares. She’s older. Maybe it’s
too tiring for her to stand in a long line. Or maybe she really doesn’t see us.

Torrie: Oh please, if she’s fit enough to come to a sandwich
shop, she’s fit enough to stand in line. How can she not see us? There’s twenty
of us standing here in plain sight.

Bob: Oh god, Torrie please chill.

Torrie: I’m gonna say something.

Bob:  NO, DON'T.
Please!

Torrie: Bob, calm down. Everyone will be thanking me, I’m
telling you.

Bob: No, I think you’re wrong. You’re going to be on your
own on this one.

Torrie: No I'm not!… Listen, cutting in line is a big pet peeve of mine. You know that. Just because she’s older doesn’t mean the rules don’t apply to her anymore.
At what age does that happen?

Bob: I think it just happens when a
person decides it does. Just let it go, it’s no big deal.

Torrie ignores him. She yells out.

Torrie: Hey, what do you think you're doing? Don’t you see
there’s a line here!!??

Everyone turns around to look at Torrie. Bob cringes.

Torrie continues: Hey you!

The older lady looks up.

Torrie: Yes you! Can’t you see there’s a line here!!

The old lady looks stricken. The people in line start
glaring at Torrie.

One Guy(speaking to the older woman): It’s OK, don’t listen to her. Go ahead and get your
order. We’re fine.

Bob and Torrie can hear a few voices whispering in line.

“Unbelievable” “What is her problem” "She's psycho"

Torrie gets red in the face and screams.

Torrie: What is wrong with you people!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She runs out of the shop crying. Bob looks at everyone and
shrugs apologetically and runs after her. He catches her down the street.

Bob: It’s OK.

Torrie: What’s wrong with everyone? Why is everyone so afraid to
speak out?

Bob: Sometimes it’s just easier to let it go.

Torrie: I’m not ABOUT easy!

Bob: I know you’re not, and I love you just how you are.

Torrie looks up at Bob and cries even harder. She hugs him tighter
than she’s ever hugged anyone in her life.

Tomorrow: Find out what happens when Dan and George go to their
first meeting.

Hey Friends,
This week we have a special two day "Bob-anza." Yes, we'll have two days of "Bob the Vegan" and his gang of friends. (Special Note: Bob won't be back until the week after Labor day.)

We also have some new questions to answer and much more.

Monday: The Continuing Adventures of Bob the Vegan: Torrie returns.

Tuesday: The Continuing Adventures of Bob the Vegan: Dan and George go to their first meeting.

Wednesday: Question/Answer: The Color Pink

Thursday: (We'll be writing)

Friday: We may be answering another question or doing something completely new!!

Hope to see you!

Thanks,
THE GUYS

Welcome Friends!

As we said in our “Hot or Not?” segment earlier this week, the kiss is making a much needed comeback. We thought the best way to pay homage to the kiss was by asking some of our good friends to chime in as well.

Special Note: Our guests each have their own Blogs/Websites. These people are talented, witty and thought provoking writers who Blog about many different topics. We highly recommend that you visit their sites.We provided links for your convenience.

So with all formalities out of the way, pucker up and get ready. Here we go!

Enjoy,

THE GUYS

THE GUYS say:

“The kiss is the most malleable of words and actions. It
defines passion, but also civility. It stirs the loins, but can be the quietest
of touches. It comforts and says goodbye. It signifies luck or can be used to
insult. “Kiss my Ass!!”

To kiss someone, whether it be a lover, child, parent
or friend, is simply a pure expression of love.”

Natural says:

“A Kiss is more intimate than the sex act itself”

Date Girl Diaries says:

“A kiss says so much about a person and what they want. It can be timid,
almost asking for permission. Kisses can be playful and silly, like a
kiss on the stomach that tickles. They can be remote, or uptight, like
when a person loses interest. But the best kind of kisses are the ones
full of love. The classic I-Just-Came-Home-From-War, grab a girl by the
face, bend her back, kiss her with the force of every ounce of feeling
that he has in his heart. Now those kisses leave this girl wanting
more.”

AskCherlock says:

“A kiss is wordless Wednesday or any other day of the week because it
speaks as a reminder from the heart that you are loved even when you feel unlovable.”

Dorothy says:

“We have a generic howdy doody and see you later kiss.
We have a fun-lovin family friendly kiss.
We have the slurpy wet doggy/pet kiss.
Then we have the very deep, passionate and meaningful kiss…which when
involving two hearts…is definitely crossing the line.
This is a kiss that awakens certain vulnerable
sensations as the lips tenderly touch and sweep past each other.
This is a kiss that demands with a passionate urgency, it not only
consumes & stirs up ones soul, it will without a doubt determine an
end result of a true passionate embrace.
This is a kiss that silently speaks a language
of love between two people, without uttering a word.
This is a kiss that tells no lies.
This is a kiss which separates the boys from the men,
so to speak.
To not know of this kiss is to not know of passion!”

Bad Gal says:

“Kiss: an acronym – Keep It Simple Stupid

Tricia says:

“There are good kissers and bad kissers.  A bad kisser feels like
french kissing your fat uncle.  You never want to experience it again.
Too bad, when he’s a really nice guy.  A good kisser is someone a girl
will never forget.  The best kiss is slow and smooth, and sensual.  You
can feel the tingling though your whole body especially in the important places.
You never want it to end and just leaves you wanting more.”

Heather says:

“A kiss is essential communication –whether between mother
and child, adrenalized lovers or time-tested friends.  It is “show me” instead of “tell me,” a flash of truth
between separate worlds.
A kiss can give secret depth and definition to
mere words or give nothing at all, telling everything in resonant silence.”

TJ Lubrano says AND draws:

In lieu of the scheduled Question/Answer session, we decided to change things up and talk about something that's been on our minds lately…..The Gentle Reminder.

We'll continue our weekly Question/Answer next week. If you'd like to submit a serious or not so serious relationship question for THE GUYS to take a crack at, please leave us a comment or email us at: advice@theguysperspective.com (We always change the names for anonymity.) Your question could be about dating, marriage, kids, or even a general question for THE GUYS about guys. So please don't be shy!!

Now to our topic!

The Gentle Reminder

We receive Gentle Reminders in our electronic mailboxes all the time. They come for a variety of reasons; reminding us about a social event, a school activity, a game, a doctor's appointment, you name it! They are very friendly and cordial and seemingly innocuous. But are they really?

And so what is a Gentle Reminder?

Here's what we know:

1. They are never the first reminder. Bulletins, Posts, Memos, Save the Dates, Syllabi and Schedules carry that distinction.

2. They come anywhere from a week to a day before the actual date or cut off point for the event or sign up.

3. They are usually quick summaries often urging us to read an earlier correspondence.

4. They encourage us to take action.

5. They are written very politely.

An Example:

Hi Guys,
This is a Gentle Reminder that the last day to sign up for the Sewing Circle is tomorrow. Please feel free to use the attached form and fax it to us. Or you can call us at: (phone number) to sign up.

Please see previous email for more details concerning the Sewing Circle, including contact info for facilitator, "James B." He will be able to answer any specific questions you might have.

We hope to see all of you next week, so don't forget to sign up by tomorrow.

Thanks so much.
Yours,
Sewing Circle Clubs of America

OK, seemingly innocuous. Friendly, right? So, what's the problem?

The problem is they are anything but friendly. That cheerful tone is often hiding weeks, maybe months of pent up frustration, anger and resentment. So why don't they just come out and say it?

What they really want to say:

GUYS,
We already sent you five emails! What's your problem? What, you're too lazy to get off your butt and sign up? It's not like we're solicitors. YOU inquired. YOU asked us to send you literature and registration information and now you don't even have the courtesy to follow through? We're sick of chasing your rude ass around. In fact we don't even want you in our Sewing Circle Club, but since we still desperately need the money we're swallowing our pride and sending you one last note. Our real hope is that you pay us but don't ever show. That way we won't be tempted to slap you silly when we see you.

TOMORROW'S THE LAST DAY!!

And if you forgot already, which is quite possible. 

TOMORROW'S THE LAST DAY!!

Use the attached form and fax it to us. And if you can't handle that, just call "James B." and he'll deal with you.

Oh, and have a nice day.

The Sewing Circle Clubs of America

Sure, that might not be as pleasant, but at least it's honest right? Which is something we all need to be more often, don't you think?

We know most people in the "Community" work long and hard to make their Blogs interesting and attractive so people will come and join their conversations.

So to stick with this theme, here's our Gentle Reminder about tomorrow's extra special post on "The Kiss."

Dear Friends,
Tomorrow's post is going to kick butt! It's all about "The Kiss." And who doesn't like talking about that? So come read it!!

We'll be joined by some very talented people from the Blogging Community, who will also be giving their own take on "The Kiss." We're honored to have them.

So save the date, mark your calendars, use post it notes, do whatever it takes to remind yourself to come tomorrow.

And of course, don't just come and read, but leave us a comment. We may even include your comment in a follow up post next week.

And of course, thanks for reading!

THE GUYS

ps. That was pleasant enough wasn't it? See ya tomorrow!!

Bob and George at a cafe. Dan comes in later.

George: So what’s the latest with Torrie? Any word?

Bob: Yeah. We’re meeting up next week.

George: That’s great. Maybe it will work out after all.
How did you get her to actually talk to you?

Bob: Well I've been calling her everyday now for over a week. Finally she picked up the phone…. I just told her how wonderful she is and that I missed her a lot.  And I
apologized to her at least ten times about being so stupid.

George: So you basically groveled like a desperate loser.

Bob: Yeah, something like that.

Dan enters cafe. Waves.

Dan: Hey Guys!

George: Hey Dan.

Bob: What’s up?

Dan: Not much.

George: It’s good to see you.

Dan: Yeah, good to see you guys. George I'm sorry about that whole “Chicken Video” thing.

George: Well, it wasn’t your fault. And anyway, Amy's been mad at me before. She'll get over it.

Bob: So how is the porn world these days Dan?

Dan: Not so good. I’m currently between homes.

George: What do you mean?

Dan: Well, there was an incident at my parent’s house.

Bob: What kind of incident?

Dan: Well, it's kind of embarrassing.

George: What??

Dan: My mom saw me naked.

Bob: Saw you naked? Like how?

Dan: I was just walking to the shower without a towel.

George: That doesn’t sound like a big deal…. like you said….maybe a little
embarrassing.

Dan: Well it really wasn’t a big deal, except….(pause)

Bob: Except what?

Dan: Well, at first it WAS just a little embarrassing like you said, until my mom started staring at my penis.

Bob: What do you mean?! She kept staring at your penis?!

Dan: YES,  she just kept staring at my penis!!

George: Yikes! Can we say, awkward?

Bob: Why would she do that?

Dan: I don't know. It WAS very awkward. After she stared for what seemed like forever she said, “Dan, why is your penis purple?”

George spits out his coffee.

Bob: What?!!

Dan: I was mortified.

George: That is too funny.

Dan: Yeah, real funny…..It was awful, especially when I realized…

Bob: Realized?…What?….What did you realize?

Dan: Well I didn't even know it was purple until that moment. Then I realized why.

Bob: I don't get it!!!……Can you PLEASE…EXPLAIN..why your penis was purple?

Dan: Well I was eating beets. And then I
did…..you know…….."THAT"…..

Bob: What’s "THAT?"

Dan:  You
know……."THAT"……. (makes a motion with his hand)

George: Wait a second…….."THAT?" …….Oh my god, that is just too perfect! (laughing)

Dan: But I wasn't going to tell my mom that. So I said, I don't know mom. And I put my hands out for emphasis.

Bob: Oh my god.

Dan: Then she said, Dan your hands are purple too?!

George: This keeps getting better and better!

Dan: I didn't even know what to say. So I ran to the bathroom and slammed the door. Of course I left the empty can of beets next to my computer. When I went back to my room after my shower, the can was gone. My mom must have found it. One way or another she put it all together.

Bob: Man that is so sick. Who eats beets and does "THAT" at the same
time? .

Dan: Well, I love beets. And I…I was hungry. Jeez, what’s the big deal??!!

George: Well that's a new one for the books
for sure. Well at least she didn’t catch you with your pants around your
ankles.

Dan: That might have been better.

Bob: So what, she kicked you out for having a purple penis?

Dan: No, my mom is totally cool. She would never kick me out for that. And she
probably didn’t even tell my dad.

Bob: So why are you between homes?

Dan: I’m just too embarrassed. I can’t even look at my mom without feeling like
a sicko.

George: I’m sorry to hear that Dan. Quite unfortunate.

Dan: So I really need to kick this porn habit. I think I’m
going to join a support group. There must be Porn Anonymous or something like that.

Bob: I’m sure there is. There’s a group for everything.

George: What you need to do is join us and become a vegan. You’ll feel
better, and it will help cleanse the toxins from your body. It might
clear your mind too. 

Dan: I don’t know if I'm up for that. I have more pressing matters anyway. I need to find a place to stay.

George: Bob, you’ve got two
bedrooms that aren’t being used?! Dan could stay with us. What do you think?

Dan: That would be amazing!

Bob: Well, I don’t……

George: C'mon, it will be great.

Dan: That would be so cool!

Bob: I guess it would be all right.

Dan: Sweet! (High fives George and Bob) Thanks Bob, you’re such a good guy.

Bob: I know. That’s my problem.

Next week: Torrie is back. George and Dan attend their first meeting. 

Hi Friends,
We hope you're enjoying your weekend. We certainly are. We look forward to a great week ahead with you.

Here is the week's schedule.

Monday: The Continuing Adventures of Bob the Vegan: Dan, Dan the Porn man gets caught.

Tuesday: No Post. (We'll be writing.)

Wednesday: Hot or Not?  (We explore: Touching, DD, Yard Sales, Assumption and more.)

Thursday: Question/Answer

Friday: The Kiss Defined  (With Guest Writers too!)

See you Tomorrow!

THE GUYS

Hey Guys,
I'm in my early twenties and I'm dating two guys right now. I haven't committed to either one of them and I've been very open about the fact that I just want to date right now. However, neither knows about the other. Do I need to tell them about each other? How open do I really need to be? I feel I've been very honest about where I'm at in my life, but I'm getting different opinions from my friends.

Hope you can give me some insight.

Miranda, New Jersey

Dear Miranda,
It  sounds like you've been very honest with your GUYS. You have every right to just date and enjoy it. So by all means continue!

However…and this is a big however….if you plan on actually getting serious with one of these GUYS, or if you even think it's a possibility you might want to be serious with one of them, the more honest you are now, the better it will be for the relationship in the future.

So you really need to evaluate each GUY and at some point tell them what's going on. GUYS appreciate being told the "deal" even if it's hard to hear. (Women do too!) Honesty and good communication are the key to any successful relationship.

And finally, if you're having sex with both GUYS, this is where it can get a bit tricky. You're still not obligated to say anything, but you can be sure we'd want to know. And of course if you're enjoying two partners, your GUYS might also be enjoying several partners. In which case a conversation would definitely be worth having. Contrary to public opinion, we're not proponents of multiple partners in general. Too much "stuff" going around. But it's still really your own business until you've made a commitment to one of them.

And of course the obvious conclusion is, if either GUY starts asking you questions or tries to press you to commit, you absolutely need to be straight with them. If they want to date you exclusively and you're not ready to do that, you'll probably need to move on.

(Here's a secret: If you wan to get rid of them both, casually suggest that the three of you get together for a night. And then watch 'em run!!) 

Special Note: If they don't run, you're dating the wrong GUYS! If you catch our drift.

Miranda: Don't let our serious talk scare you. Have fun!!

THE GUYS

An extra special serious note from THE GUYS:

Friends,

We tried extra hard to be as PC as we could when writing this post on "Being PC." If you know what we're saying??!!

We have more questions now than when we started writing on this topic. So we're putting the ball in your court. We want to hear your opinions, experiences and insights. Just keep in mind that we're all trying to figure this out and make this world work for everyone. 

We're serious…..Seriously!

Thanks so much.
THE GUYS

The Guy’s Horizon: The Future of Being PC (Politically
Correct)

These days we live in a PC world. A world where being
"Politically Correct" is vital for survival in the public eye. But has it gone
too far?

Here’s where we are now:

Stewardesses are now called Flight Attendants.

Janitors changed to Custodians to Maintenance Technicians

The Dump is now The Transfer Station.

And of course we have the untouchable subjects of
religion and race and the ever-changing terminology associated with each.

THE GUYS are completely aware that being sensitive to differences
is vital in this ever-changing world. The world IS growing smaller as
technology pulls us closer together. And of course the more populated the Earth
becomes, the more accepting and tolerant we need to become. THE GUYS believe in this and understand that being
Politically Correct is a way to make sense of this diverse world.

But having said that, where does it end? People haven’t
changed that dramatically unfortunately. They might use the correct terminology
(or not) but have their opinions changed? Does this changing terminology
actually alter people’s perceptions or harden them? Once people have left the
workplace or the shopping mall or the sports field, are they going home to
talk, speak and think like they always have? Are we respecting differences or are we becoming afraid to point out differences? Are differences a bad thing? Are we all fearful of being reprimanded in public?

Another reality of our PC world is the message we're giving to our kids. We’re telling them that the world is at their fingertips. We're saying they’ll be able to do anything they want. In some ways we're telling them they can be good at everything. But that's just not true unfortunately. So are we actually helping them by giving them this message? Are we preparing them for life's difficult trials? Don't misinterpret what we’re saying here. Parents need to
provide love and support and encouragement to their children. The parents among
us are all about providing every possible resource to allow our kids to grow
and flourish. But there are certain realities and limitations. Not all of us
were able to become everything we wanted to be. Our children won’t be able to
either. We hope they will find something they love. We hope they will commit themselves to a cause or to their family. We hope they will work hard at whatever they choose. But are we creating an illusory world that sets our kids up for failure?

So where is this all leading? Are we headed towards a
completely homogeneous society where everyone is afraid to speak his or her
mind? Is it so wrong to say someone is better than someone else at say baseball or math or dance or writing? Are we breeding more fear: fear of being judged for speaking what could
be the truth?  How DO we change people’s
perceptions? And how do we balance being direct with our children, but also not
dashing their dreams?

One thing we know that does need to happen more is face-to-face
contact. Face time with our kids. Face time for business. Settling a playground conflict ON the playground face-to-face. People
respond to other people. It’s quite simple. They change when they realize they
don’t have anything to fear from people who are different. They grow when they
realize they can learn from someone who is not like them. And often they make new friends after meeting someone face-to-face.  

So maybe we need to continue this trend and go out and greet
our neighbors. We need to smile at the people on the bus or the train. And we
need to get to know the eccentric GUY who owns the shop down the street. We
need to "Grass Roots" it because we’re stuck with each other in this
ever-changing world. Sure people say stupid things. But if we actually KNEW
them, we might judge their intent rather than what they actually said. And then
hopefully that would lead to a dialogue that helped both parties come to a
better understanding of one another. And ultimately lead to the kind of world we're trying to create.

Avoiding conflict seems to be the trend in our world. This is partly caused by everyone trying to be PC. And partly because conflict is no fun!!

Too much conflict leads to more conflict. This is war.

Too little conflict leads to pretending it's all good. This is dysfunction.

But a little conflict can  bring people closer together and help them understand one another. This is healthy. This is growth. 

So we say, bring it on. We’re ready. Let’s start a dialogue. What are your thoughts?

How are you feeling about the world and where we’re headed?

And if you're going to say something, at least say it to our Face!

THE GUYS

Tomorrow Afternoon: Question/Answer: I'm dating TWO GUYS at once. Please advise.

Last week: Torrie catches Bob cheating on her. (With his diet, not another woman)  She's not amused. She breaks up with him.

To get caught up on the entire story, go to Categories  and click on: Relationship Humor: Bob the Vegan

(To the right on this page)

Chapter 4: The Video

A Week Later:  George
Calls  Bob.

George: Bob, how did things go with Torrie?

Bob: I’m not talking to you.

George: What happened?

Bob: Torrie broke up with me. And she won’t even talk to me. It’s all your
fault!

George: My fault? How?

Bob: You and that, “It wasn’t me” crap!

George: Now hold on. I told you to be honest first. Didn’t
I?

Bob: Well…..yeah…

George: But you said you couldn’t do that. You said she'd break up with you if you were honest.

Bob: So?

George: And then you begged me for some help. What did I say?  I said, “Women always find out.” Didn’t I?

Bob: Yeah

George: And now this. (Pause) So what actually happened?

Bob: Remember we were talking on the phone and then Torrie came to the door… I quickly rinsed my mouth,  got some gum,
but forgot to check my clothes. I had a big BBQ stain right on the front of my
shirt. Torrie of course saw it and it just went downhill from there. She basically said she didn't trust me anymore and then left.

George: Yeah, that doesn't sound good. I guess this should just tell you to be honest from now on.

Bob: I usually am. I'm not sure what I was thinking. Damn…. I'm such an idiot….Am I the only one this happens to?….What about you?  Have you ever been caught doing something stupid like that?

George: Me?! (laughs) Of course not! I'm always on top of my security. 

Bob: But you just said……

George: I know, but I'm one of the few GUYS who's always one step ahead.

Bob: Well I only wish. I'm more like ten steps behind.

George: Well, I have something that will
cheer you up.

Bob: What?

George: Are you online?

Bob: No.

George: Well Dan just sent me a new video. It's crazy!

Bob: Wait a second, is this Dan, Dan the porn man??

George: Is that what you call him? I guess you could say he partakes a little.

Bob: A little!!!??? Oh please. He watches 24/7! He’s always
sending me a link to this site or that site. The guy needs to come up for air and get a life. AND move out of his parent's house.

George: C’mon Bob, you’ve gotta check this out. I've never seen anything like it. A guy, a girl and a chicken.

Bob: A chicken!! NO…..are you nuts?!

George: You're missing out.

Bob: Anyway, I told you. I’m a full-fledged Vegan
now. We don't use any animal products, which includes watching Chicken Porn.

George: Are you sure?

Bob: Yes, I'm sure! I need to stay focused. I'm trying to win Torrie back by showing her I can really do this.

George: Bob….. committing to a Vegan lifestyle is not going to prove anything to her. She won’t
even talk to you at this point.

Bob: I don’t care. I’m going to show her that I’ll do
anything to win her back.

George: OK, Bob. Suit yourself. …Like I said, you're missing out.

Bob: Whatever…

The next day George shows up at Bob’s house. Bob answers
the door.

Bob: George what are you doing here?

George: Can I stay at your house for a while?

Bob: What do you mean?

George: I got kicked out.

Bob: What? …What happened?

George: Well, Dan and I were emailing last night about that Chicken Video and I forgot to
log out. When Amy came down this morning, she read the entire correspondence.

Bob: Wait! You….you got busted?!! This is good. I thought you said you were always one step ahead?

George: Oh shut up Bob! Don't even start.

Bob: Well, I guess there's a first for everything… So what did she say?

George: She said she could barely even look at me. She said I was sick and needed to get help.

Bob: Wow, that's harsh.

George: I told her it was just a little harmless porn.

Bob: I bet that went over well.

George: It probably would have been fine. Amy's very open minded about that stuff. BUT….then she watched the video…….Not Good.

Bob: What the hell was on that video?!

George: I’m too embarrassed to say. Let's just say, it doesn't work out that well for the chicken. 

Bob: Dude, you are sick.

George: I was just curious, that's all. I couldn't help but watch it.

Bob: I don't know George, I'm having second thoughts about letting you stay here.

George: Don't even go there Bob. I'm not in the mood. (pause) Maybe I should become a Vegan too?

Bob: It might be a good start.

George: That would prove to Amy that I could change.

Bob: That might work.

George: We could start a Vegan Group.

Bob: Well…. that actually could be nice. Making the commitment might be easier with someone else doing it with me.

George: Great! So I'm in. To the Brotherhood of the Vegans!!!

Bob: To the brotherhood!

George: So where's my room?

Next Week:

Chapter 5: Enter "Dan, Dan the Porn Man."

So we hope you're enjoying your weekend. We're looking ahead to next week and wanted to give you a preview. Here's the schedule.

Monday: "Bob the Vegan" crosses paths with "Dan, Dan the Porn Man" (Your favorite GOOD GUY is back!)

Tuesday: We'll be writing. Please visit some of our friends. See Blogroll. And come back tomorrow!

Wednesday: HOT or NOT?  (We give you our commentary on: Jealousy, Sunglasses, Communication, DD the cup size , DD the store and more.)

Thursday: The Guy's Horizon: The Future of Being PC (Politically Correct)

Friday: Question/Answer (The Guys answer your relationship questions)

Thanks,
THE GUYS

Dear Readers,

Here are four more definitions of "Boyfriend" that you may not have seen. Click on the individual links to read more great posts by each guest. 

THE GUYS

BOYFRIEND DEFINED:

The term
boyfriend can have many different meanings – the common denominator
involves dating a male who you are romantically involved with to
varying degrees. Sometimes the accent may be on the word 'boy' -as in
the fact that he's not mature enough to consider for anything more
serious than fun dating. In other cases the relationship may be
monogamous and a step towards a different role (fiance, life partner,
husband. etc). Some people have lived with a guy for 25 years, have
children with them, share property ownership – and still refer to them
as their 'boyfriend'.

Posted by: www.ishouldbenapping.com

THE GUYS RESPOND: We shall always be boys at heart. But hopefully we'll grow up at some point. Or maybe not!!

Almost
every gal takes a chance with a bad guy until we realize they really
are BAD, as in not good for us, as in yes they will hurt your soul and
break your heart. But then, don't many guys like those trashy girls and
then get surprised when they cheat?

Posted by: www.askcherlock.com

THE GUYS RESPOND: Ouch! That hurts!! But so true!

boyfriend – someone I'm testing driving, but haven't decided if i want to put a down payment on for purchase.

Posted by: www.thinkingoutloudblog.com

THE GUYS RESPOND: We'll ride anywhere with you!

A Guy who is a friend first, and then is all about understanding, the need for space, privacy and equal respect.

Without these qualities there is no boyfriend, at least in the romantic sense. 

Posted by: www.selfesteemblogforwomen.blogspot.com

THE GUYS RESPOND: To actually be friends with your partner is so key. And this often stems from respect. And of course having lots of fun together!!

GUYS,
I'm dating this great guy Rick. He's kind, supportive, funny and good looking. He works hard at his construction job, so he's definitely not lazy. But the thing is, he's never been to college. I have. I don't know why that's hard for me but it is. I hate to even say it because it sounds so stuck up, but sometimes I worry whether he'll be a good role model if we have kids. I also worry we don't have enough in common. I've mentioned this to him, but he just gets mad. He says we have a good time together and that's all that matters. And he says he loves kids.

How do I resolve this issue?

Yours,
JoAnne

Dear JoAnne,

You are correct when you say, "How do I resolve this issue?" Because this issue is yours and yours alone. Rick seems completely comfortable with who he is. So it's up to you to figure this out. Don't pull Rick into it or try to change him. That won't bode well if you're possibly thinking of a future with him. And from what you describe he sounds pretty solid as is.

So let's start with a few questions. Do you love this man? You don't really say, but we get the sense that you do. You described him as great, kind, supportive, funny and good looking. WOW, we only wish!!

So what part of his lack of education bothers you? Is he truly not smart enough? Are you embarrassed to introduce him to your friends and family? Does his lack of education make it hard for you to talk with him?

Being smart has nothing to do with going to college. We're sure you've met a ton of people that lack a formal education who are bright, funny and motivated. Sure getting a college education can open up your mind and expose you to lots of new things, but the education itself doesn't determine smarts. But we do agree that two people who have gone to college will likely share a common experience.

However, keep in mind that differences can enhance a relationship quite a bit as long as you share some core values. If you're on the same page with religion that's a decent start. Are you on the same page about kids? That helps. Do you both believe in charitable giving? Or green living? Do you have common interests like exercise, traveling, quiet nights, partying, politics, whatever? And finally are your basic values similar? If you have many of these things going for you, we think you're off to a great start. Probably better than most people who share a college education.

So JoAnne, you need to be honest with yourself. It's OK to feel this way. It's your life and you need to find a person that you're happy with. However, you need to figure out what really bothers you about Rick's lack of education. If it's truly that he's not that smart, or not that motivated or not that interesting, maybe you need to move on. But from what you say about him it doesn't sound like that's the case. So it's likely to be YOU, and how you perceive him. And how you think others might perceive him and then ultimately perceive you.

Keep in mind, that time changes our priorities.  And if you have kids you might be too tired to care about his education. Well, not really, but you get our point! He sounds like he'll be a great dad. And that's from The Guy's Perspective. And we tend to be harsher to our own!

Good luck.

THE GUYS

 Dear Friends,

Welcome to our BLOG CARNIVAL, focusing on Relationship Humor!! 

THE GUYS are true believers in humor and the healing nature of laughter. It's a necessary tool to survive the complexities of the modern romance.

So we hope you'll laugh along with us today. And enjoy our guests.

Feel free to leave us a comment and let us know what you liked. And also when you visit each guest author, feel free to let them know how much you appreciate their efforts. We certainly do.

And so without further delay, enjoy!

THE GUYS

Measure of All Things (
http://ameasureofthings.blogspot.com/)

"Why Ladies go to the Bathroom in Pairs?"

Permalink: http://ameasureofthings.blogspot.com/2009/03/why-ladies-go-to-bathroom-in-pairs.html

The Ominous Comma ( http://brentdiggs.com/blog )

"Hormone Poisoning"

Permalink: http://brentdiggs.com/blog/hormone-poisoning/

Trackback: http://brentdiggs.com/blog/hormone-poisoning/trackback/

Stuff-About.com ( http://www.stuff-about.com/)

"10 signs she's JUST not into you"

Permalink:
http://www.stuff-about.com/2009/07/10-signs-shes-just-not-into-you.html

Catch Spouse Cheating:  http://www.catchspousecheating.co.uk 

"Dating Your Spouse to prevent Infidelity"

Permalink: http://www.catchspousecheating.co.uk/dating-your-spouse-to-prevent-infidelity/

Trackback: http://disability-blog.com/2009/07/senate-mulls-social-security-reform-ideas/trackback/

Madkane's Humor Blog: http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog

"Is it Safe to go Shopping with your Mate?"

Permalink: http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2006/12/19/is-it-safe-to-go-shopping-with-your-mate-humorous-quiz/

Trackback: http://www.madkane.com/humor_blog/2006/12/19/is-it-safe-to-go-shopping-with-your-mate-humorous-quiz/trackback/

The World's Strongest Librarian ( http://worldsstrongestlibrarian.com)

"The Night I discovered Time Travel"

Permalink:
http://worldsstrongestlibrarian.com/3021/the-night-i-discovered-time-travel/

Trackback URL:
http://worldsstrongestlibrarian.com/3021/the-night-i-discovered-time-travel/trackback/

Chris Hoke Blog dot com: http://www.chrishokeblog.com/

"A Phantom Injury"

Permalink: http://www.chrishokeblog.com/2009/03/a-blanket-statement-a-phantom-injury-and-a-bedroom-scene/

Rambling Brooke: http://ramblingbrooke.com/

"A Romantic Tale of Drunken Escapades"

Permalink: http://ramblingbrooke.com/?p=989

Call Return: (Edgier Rating on this Blog)  http://callreturn.blogspot.com/

"Where did all the egg boxes go?"

Permalink: http://callreturn.blogspot.com/2009/07/where-did-all-egg-boxes-go.html

This is week three of "The Continuing Adventures of Bob"

Third Week: Here we go!

Bob is home. He calls up George.

George: Hello!

Bob: George, I just can't take it any more!

George: Bob, is that you?

Bob: Yes, it's me and I just  can't do it. 

George: Hold on, slow down a minute. What are you talking about?

Bob: I've been cheating. Cheating on Torrie.

George: What do you mean cheating? How could you?

Bob: I don't mean with other women. I mean eating. The other day I had a hot dog and today I had ribs. In fact I just finished a huge plate of ribs smothered in BBQ sauce. 

George: Oh that Vegan thing. Well I don't blame you. No one but you could have lasted even this long. I could never do it. What are you going to say to Torrie?

Bob: You mean I have to tell Torrie? She'll break up with me for sure if I tell her.

George: Well, if you don't tell her, she's going to find out anyway.

Bob: But, how's she going to find out?

George: Women always find out. You know that, right?

Bob: Well what should I do?

George: Besides being honest?

Bob: Yeah.

George: I have no idea.

Bob: C'mon George, help me!

George: Well let me think…Hmmm…….. Only one thing comes to mind.

Bob: Tell me. Please!!

George: Well, back a few years I was friends with this guy. He told me about a time he was dating two girls at once. 

Bob: Sounds like a scoundrel. I would never do that.

George: Yes, he was a total scoundrel in many ways. That's why we're not friends anymore. Anyway, he says he was dating these two girls. Girl # 1 and Girl # 2. Well that's how he described them. One night he told Girl #1 he was going to play poker with his buddies, but he was really going to the movies with Girl #2.

Bob: Sounds like trouble.

George: Doesn't it? Anyway, while leaving the theater with Girl # 2 he saw Girl #1 also leaving the same theater. He couldn't believe his bad luck. He tried to sneak away without her seeing him, but it was not to be. Somehow they made eye contact. 

Bob: Uh,oh. Busted.

George: You would think. But he said when Girl #1 confronted him, he just kept repeating, "It wasn't me." Every time she accused him or yelled or cried he kept repeating, "It wasn't me." Finally after days of this, he wore her down until she believed him.

Bob: Well that's just wrong.

George: I know but he swears it worked.The key is to say it with conviction. And never, ever waver, no matter what happens.

Bob: We'll I'm not sure how that……..

Doorbell rings. Bob panics.

Bob: George, I gotta run. Torrie's here. I gotta rinse the BBQ sauce out of my mouth and find some gum.Thanks for listening.

George: Good luck.

Bob answers the door in a minute.

Bob: Hi Honey

Torrie: Hi. What took you so long?

Bob: Oh, I was just in the bathroom.

They hug and kiss lightly. Torrie comes in and sits down at the kitchen table across from Bob.

Bob: It's great to see you. You look amazing!

Torrie: Thanks that's sweet……..You know Bob, I've been thinking. We've been having some trouble recently and I think some of it is my fault. You've been so great about this Vegan thing. Most guys would have said forget it. But you stuck with me even though it was hard. As you know, I haven't always picked the nicest of guys and I've had some bad luck too. You're such a breath of fresh air. So supportive, loving and honest. Let's just forget the Vegan thing. I can see you're not a pig like the rest of the guys I've dated, so why don't you go ahead and eat whatever you'd like.

Bob: Really? You mean that?

Torrie: I do. And not only that. Up til now I haven't really opened up to you. But I see how wonderful you are. I really can trust you. So I plan on making you a very happy man.

Bob: Wow, I'm speechless. 

Torrie goes over to Bob. She stops.

Torrie: What's that on your shirt?

Bob: What?

Torrie: That stain. It looks like BBQ sauce?

Bob: What stain?

Torrie: That stain, right there.

She points.

Bob: Uhh, well, that's not BBQ sauce.

Torrie: Well what is it? It sure looks like BBQ sauce.

Bob: It's not BBQ sauce.

Torrie: Bob, you're lying to me.

Bob: No. It's not BBQ sauce.

Torrie: Bob, you're a terrible liar. Have you been cheating this whole time?

Bob: It wasn't me.

Torrie: What did you say?

Bob: It wasn't me.

Torrie: What are you talking about?

Bob: It wasn't me.

Torrie: Bob, stop saying that. That makes no sense.

Bob:  It wasn't me… It wasn't me.

Torrie: Oh my god, you are really being annoying.

Bob: It wasn't me.

Torrie: Bob if you don't shut up with that "It wasn't me" crap, I'm going to scream.
Is that BBQ sauce or not?

Bob:(braces himself) It wasn't me.

Torrie: You really are a milquetoast, you know that. Goodbye Bob. I can't believe I ever trusted you.

Bob: Torrie, no!!!! It wasn't me!!

Torrie, leaves……..

Find out what happens next week……

The Continuing Adventures of Bob: I'm a Vegan  will be back this coming Monday.

ALSO

Join us for our first ever BLOG CARNIVAL!!  (Wednesday, August 12th)

Join us on August 12th for a great time!!

Plus: "The Sewing Circle" returns. Scott joins the group! and of course, the usual weekly series.

Thanks,

THE GUYS

Dear Friends,

Last week we defined "Girlfriend" for you. And we asked you to submit your own definition of girlfriend and boyfriend.

Scroll down to last week's post to read our definitions.

Well today we are posting the most complete definition of boyfriend yet. Our guest today is Ethel Mae Potter, one of our friends in the blogging community. Her definition of boyfriend is so emasculating we had to post it for you. Ladies enjoy it. Men, brace yourselves. 

THE GUYS

Check out her BLOG:

http://ethelmaepotterweneverforgother.blogspot.com/

Dear Guys,

I’m considering signing up for an online dating service.
What do guys really think of meeting girls online?

Samantha, Indiana

Dear Samantha,

Guys don’t really care how they meet women, they just
want meet them.

Which means GUYS always have their radar up. They could be
in the Laundr-o-mat and the cute girl washing her sheets is fair game. Or at the
Grocery Store. Or Aunt Lizzy’s BBQ. A
party. Job. Walking. Running. Standing in line for the bathroom. AND yes,
online. It’s all good. Many SINGLE GUYS are signed up with one of the online services,
even if they only go on when they’re bored. But all that means is their expectations are low. It doesn't mean they wouldn't contact someone if they thought that person was cute or interesting or both.

Everyone is so busy these days, that the traditional ways of
meeting  people aren’t always possible. So
online dating sites are just another way for GUYS to meet more women. That’s
not to say we're not more skeptical about meeting someone online. So much
deception goes on when a person can hide behind a computer screen, that GUYS are
leery of whom they’re really talking to. But of course, you should be too.

But we say GO FOR IT. It’s very possible you might be
pleasantly surprised at who you meet. And who knows, you could meet “THE ONE.” (Although, we're not sure what that means really.)

One cautionary note: Please be careful. First meet someone
for lunch or coffee in a busy place. And use your own transportation to
get there. This is not to scare you, but it doesn’t hurt to be safe. Good Luck
and keep us posted.

THE GUYS

TOMORROW: THE SEWING CIRCLE — Aubrey, Joe and Bill discuss their feelings…..and whether or not to let Scott  join the group…. See ya tomorrow.

 Yes, The Guys get together to discuss relationships.

Here is the
first installment of:  The Guys’ Sewing
Circle

Joe is at a table, in a bar. Aubrey and Bill arrive
together. 

Joe: Welcome gentleman. How you been?

Aubrey and Bill: (Together) Good. What’s up?

Joe:  Not much.…. Man it’s been
forever. What, maybe a few months since we’ve met? We’ve got to start meeting
more regularly.

Aubrey: I know, but  It’s tough with
the family. We've always got some school activity we have to attend. And then of course games and practices. It’s
nuts!

Bill: I hear ya. It’s crazy.

Joe: What are you talking about? You don’t have kids. At least Aubrey’s got
a good excuse. What’s yours?

Bill: Well, Charlotte’s the social director. She keeps us busy.

Joe: And what!… you’ve got no say. C’mon, be a man.

Bill: It’s not like that at all. I WANT to go.

Joe: You’re such a wimp.

Aubrey: Will you guys just shut up. Jeez. You’re always arguing about
something….(pause)…anyway …So what’s on the agenda?

Joe: Scott’s on the agenda.

Aubrey: Scott? What do you mean, Scott’s on the agenda?

Joe: Scott wants to join the Sewing Circle. He’s been bugging me about it
forever, so I’m putting it out there.

Bill: Scott’s a freakin’ pig! He has no respect for anything.

Joe: Not true. Scott’s a good guy. He’s just a little out there.

Bill: Well I’m not sure what he’ll add to the group. Insight? Doubtful.
Intelligent contributions. Unlikely. Fart jokes. Probably.

Joe: C’mon Guys, it will give our relationship conversations a new
perspective.

Bill: How? Wasn’t his last girlfriend 50 or something?

Joe: So what, who cares.

Bill: But he’s only 25!

Joe: See, he doesn’t discriminate. And like I said, a new perspective.

Bill: Yeah sure, new perspective. From someone who’s motto is, “It’s all good”  Great..(Sarcastically). 

Aubrey: I will say, he is kind of funny. Sure he’s kind of out there, but he
has a good heart. I say yes.

Bill: No way, you’ve got to be kidding.

Bill looks at Aubrey, then Joe. Shakes his head emphatically.

Bill: No, c'mon guys, for real…..

Joe: Sorry man, I vote yes too. Two to one. So I guess this means we have a new member.

Bill: This is a mistake, I’m telling you. We’ll never be able to talk about
how we feel again. The minute the word feeling is brought up, he’s just going
to start talking about some girl he's been with. He's a total DOG!

Aubrey: (Laughs) C'mon Bill he's not that bad. It will be entertaining. 

Joe: OK, guys enough. We’ll meet next week WITH Scott. So does anyone want
to talk about any issues you’re having in your relationships?

Aubrey: Things are good with me.

Bill:  Fine…(grumbling)

(Drinks arrive. The usual Thank yous, etc.)

Aubrey: So let’s say we make a commitment to meet weekly. There’s
nothing better than getting our feelings out on the table. (He raises his glass) So how about a
toast, to THE SEWING CIRCLE.

Bill:  I still don't think it's a good idea. But cheers. To OUR SEWING CIRCLE.

Joe:  Amen!

Tune in next week, when Scott joins the crew.