The Guy’s Perspective

Since we are all conspiracy theorists at heart, we feel it’s only
fair to share some important information we’ve gathered along the way. Of course what we seek may be different than what you seek, but this information could  help to you find your own Holy Grail.

Since everyone loves lists, here is our list of “The ten things you should ask yourself before saying those two most sacred words: I will!”

And for our male readers. Please feel free to add to the list. We’re not a secret society here!

Away we GO!!!

1.
Does your man only say “I love you” when he’s aroused or about to enter the sacred chalice? If so, you may have a guy who is constantly searching.

2. Does your man say yes to everything you ask?
We’re not talking about normal compromise and the give and take that works in a healthy relationship, we’re talking a “YES MAN.” If so, you may think you hit the jackpot, but instead you’ve landed in a holding pattern around Boredom Airport.”

3. Is your man ambitious?
Let’s define this more clearly because as you know ambition can be a very good thing. But does he put his ambition first? Or his career first? Always saying, “As soon as I get this things will be good.” Sure you’ll be adorned with lots of presents, but he may never be present.
And that’s literal and figurative. You figure that out.

4. How
long does your man stand in front of the mirror? For men and women this
is a very different beast all together. We’re not opposed to careful grooming, but a man who constantly scrutinizes his own image, may be a bit too caught up in body image entirely. If so, good luck living up to that one.

5. How laid back is your man? There’s a fine line between, “It’s all Good!” and “I don’t give a shit.”

6.
Does your man try to hide the fact that he thinks other women are hot?
This is called the secret life of GUYS. Openly flaunting attraction to another women is NOT COOL!! But pretending he’s not attracted to anyone else in the entire world is absurd!

7. How jealous is your man? Some jealousy is a good thing, especially early on in a relationship. It can show that your man cares about you. But as you get more serious, or approach matrimony, the types of insecurities that lead to stalking or worse should be quieted. Sure, men are protective of their mates. That is part of us. But be aware of how this plays out. Any form of phone, email, text tampering pretty much means, RUN AWAY! And yes, we’re serious. Someone that insecure is trouble. Open communication early on will help immensely in this arena.

8. What does your man do for a living and
are you happy being poor? We’re kind of joking here. We actually hope the answer is yes. Meaning, we’d like to think you love us for who we are. But we also know that sentiment gets old fast. Modern life is expensive. Family life is expensive. And that longing in your eyes as you watch your man perform at that dive bar down the street is going to disappear if there’s not enough money to get diapers. Be honest with yourself. And most importantly, hope that your GUY loves being Mr. Mom.
Someone’s gotta wear the pants in the family.

9. Is your GUY
comfortable with you having friends? And we don’t just mean ex-boyfriends or other GUYS. We mean anyone. Any Guy with some testosterone coursing through his veins will be a little jealous(there’s that word again) if you hang out with your ex. That subject alone might take up a whole other post. But some GUYS just don’t want you to have a life outside of them. So ask yourself if you’re OK, being sucked into his world. For some it works and for others it
doesn’t.

10. We saved this one until the end because it’s the juiciest one of all.
We’ve developed a ratings system to help with confusion upon entering a life altering decision.
We call it, “First pick or second two.” This was a basic rule we used as kids upon deciding teams for any pick up sport. Sometimes simplicity is the most effective means to solving a problem….or for that matter anything. Here’s how it works. When picking teams the “captains” could either get first pick or the next two picks. This made the rest of the picks crucial, because it eliminated the obvious choices, and turned the rest of the picks into the winning or losing team. So here’s how it applies to our list.

Since we’re speaking in terms of TEN, let’s say you have ten important criteria when picking a mate. Without a doubt, you should get your first pick or your second two. Without one or the other, the rest of the picks don’t matter. But then after that, the rest of the picks (criteria) could turn to gravy, or unfortunately, artificial sweetener. And that’s where the fun and mystery lie.

So our questions is: Are you getting your “First pick or second two?”

If so, great! Time to move forward from “I will” to “I DO!” And have fun discovering the hidden gems of the next picks.

THE GUYS

We hope this post was somewhat helpful. Please leave your comments. We love hearing from you!!!

As of late, we've been getting a lot of pressure to get an animal. So we said fine, "Get some fish, fish tank,  fish food and whatever else you need." We thought we were being generous, but apparently fish don't count as animals. And neither do Gerbils, Snakes, Mice, Hamsters, Rats, Guinea Pigs or basically anything other than a Cat or a Dog.

So why didn't you say so from the beginning??!!

So let's get this straight. Are we really saying a Cat or a Dog, or do we just mean a Cat? Because let's face it, GUYS and Cats don't always jive. Sure, we've encountered a few that we've liked, but it's hard to take home a Tiger or a Lion from the zoo. Generally we're Dog people.

So this situation has become a big problem. And we're not sure how to resolve this crisis. So we wrote a little poem to give our readers a sense of what is going on inside GUYS' homes across America.

Cats and Dogs

The argument continues
'Bout which one ranks on top
It's been going on for years
And will probably never stop

Anytime the subject
Is brought up anywhere
Here is a little clip
Of what you'll probably hear

"Cats are cool!" say Cat lovers.
"Dogs are loyal!" say Dog lovers.
"Cats are sly!" say Cat lovers.
"Dogs are loving!" say Dog lovers.
"Cats are cuddly!" say Cat lovers.
"Dogs are playful!" say Dog lovers.
"Dogs smell badly!" say Cat lovers.
"Cats don't care!" say Dog lovers
"Dogs are dumb!" say Cat lovers.
"Cats are stupid!" say Dog lovers.
"You are stupid!" say Cat lovers.
"You are dumb!" say Dog lovers.

We don't think the argument
Will ever be resolved
Because the people having it
Are way too much involved

Has this been a problem for you? If so, how have you resolved this problem? How do we resolve this?

THE GUYS

So we were over at Momversation. Yes, we admit it. We like to know what the Moms are up to. It keeps us current.

Anyway, they were talking about kids of Reality TV and how awful it is. And while we totally agree that the exploitation of kids for money is appalling, we also need to admit to some complicity. 

In the old days "movie stars" were revered and looked up to. But it was simple and pretty straight-forward. Stars were on the big screen or the little screen and that is where they stayed. Today, we not only want them on the big and small screens, we want a piece of their lives too. And if we can't get theirs we want ours. Sure we've all dreamed of stardom at one point or another, but with reality TV and other outlets we all have a chance. Really??

We call it the Vicious Cycle. And it's out of control. Here's how it works.

1. People dream of fame. But they don't want to actually work at something to be good enough to get famous. So they think up ways of becoming famous. One way is to objectify themselves or act completely idiotic for laughs. Another way is to exploit their resources. Translation: Use their kids!

2. Enter reality shows. These shows look for people to open their lives for the rest of the world to see.

3. And boy do we watch!! The numbers get higher and higher each year. We are curious! This is an extreme form of rubber necking from the comfort of our own homes. Pretty cool!

4. Soon other networks get in the act and they produce shows that just TALK about the reality stars.
That's an interesting concept. Shows about other TV shows! Weird.

5. And we watch those too!

6. Now the magazines get in the act too. The paparazzi get paid big bucks to follow these reality TV stars around. Now everyone's making money hand over fist. Sweet!

7. And we buy those too! They're so fun to read. We call them our vacation treats. Along with a candy bar and a few other goodies, we gobble these up to enjoy on the road. OK, we'll admit, they're pretty good while doing our morning "duty."

8. So now everyone's making money and the reality kids start to feel entitled. They start behaving worse than they already did before they got on the show. And they're being encouraged by their parents. Nice!!

9. So now more networks, get in the act and more and more people are being recruited to do more extreme shows and more invasive shows.

10. Finally these kids grow up and continue to live their dream. They get their own reality shows and the vicious cycle begins again.

That is if they don't end up in jail, rehab or worse….dead!

WOW! we feel like we're missing something here??!!

THE GUYS

ps. Are you part of the vicious cycle? How do we change this? Or do we care?

This is a family of well intentioned folks, who misuse words regularly. The original title was going to be Miss Malaprop based on a friend who happened to be very good at word substitution. However, we decided to spread out the fun and have the comic be about a family. So without further adieu, welcome to “The Malaprops!”

We hope to do this weekly.

THE GUYS

Welcome to Season 2 of Bob the Vegan. No, we're not on TV….YET!! 

For all the episodes from Season 1, check out the category section in the right column of this BLOG.

Episode 1: Speed Dating

Bob and George are at a speed dating luncheon. 

Bob: George, why did you drag me here? If Torrie finds out she's going to kill me.

George: C'mon Bob. I didn't want to look like a loser coming alone.

Bob: Well, what do you think everyone's here for? Everyone is single and alone. That's the point!

George: Well, it's just comforting having you here. I know you've got my back.

Bob: OK, I guess. One thing's for sure, this will be interesting.

Moderator: OK folks, let's get started. I think you know how this works. You get 5 minutes with each person. Try to get past small talk as quickly as you can. That way you can get a good sense of who the person really is. OK, are we ready?

Everyone nods.

Moderator: OK, here we go!!

Bob and George sit down with at different tables. We start with Bob.

Bob: Hi, how are you? I'm…..

Woman:(Cuts him off) How much money do you make?

Bob: Excuse me?

Woman: The moderator said, skip the small talk, so I am. How much money do you make?

Bob: You aren't even going to ask me my name?

Woman: Nope. It's not important. All that's important to me is how much you make. Don't waste my time if it's less than six figures.

Bob: Wow, you're a pleasant sort aren't you? What's your name?

Woman: (Ignores him) So do you make six figures or not?

Bob: Well, I happen to be an aspiring artist who…..(She cuts him off again)

Woman: Well good for you….. Next!

Bob: What do you mean next?  How do you know I don't I don't make six figures?

Woman: Oh please. You're an artist! And look how you're dressed. No chance!

Bob looks down at himself.

Bob: What's wrong with what I'm wearing?

Silence.

Bob: You're really not going to talk to me?

Silence.

Bob: (Sarcastically) Boy, I'm so happy to have met you……..(Note to self) Kill George!!

Meanwhile George is having a grand time. WE catch them in mid-conversation.

George: Well your job sounds like a blast. Except your boss of course. He sounds like a real piece of work.

Angie(His partner): Well he got "HIS" in the end.

George: What do you mean?

Angie: Well as I told you my boss had been hitting on me since I started working there. He just wouldn't leave me alone. So one night we had an office party. I slipped a little extra something in his drink. Then I called him in his office pretending I was going to give him what he wanted.

George: You are bad!

Angie: Well, I'm still getting to the good part.

George: That wasn't the good part?

Angie: No….So once he passed out I cranked the Air Conditioning so it was freezing in there. I pulled down his pants and let him lie there for a bit. You know SHRINKAGE……Then I took some photos.

George: Really? Uh…..

Angie: Yep. Then I put the pics on the work online bulletin board.

George: But couldn't you get in trouble for that?

Angie: Yeah, except he can't remember a thing. And no one else saw anything. He's also too embarrassed by the whole thing to even say anything. The pictures weren't very flattering if you know what I mean.

George: Ummm…..I guess so…….

Angie: I just don't like sleazy guys. You know the type. Always checking out women. Maybe into porn. Cheat……I'd do a lot worse if I caught my boyfriend cheating or something.

George gulps……..

Angie: But, you seem like a nice guy. So what are your interests? What do you like to do with your free time?

George: Uhh…….

Moderator rings bell

Moderator: OK, next table.

Angie: Nice to have met you. I'm going to mark you down as someone I'd like to see again. Hope you do the same.

George: Uh, yeah sure. See ya.

George gives Bob a look. Bob nods in pain. They meet another seven women each. An hour goes by.

Moderator rings final bell.

Moderator:Thank you everyone. Please put your cards in the box and we'll let you know if you have any matches. Good luck!

Bob and George get out of there fast.

Bob: Thank god that's over! Out of the hour we were there, I must have sat in silence for half of it.

George: What?

Bob: Forget it. So did you meet anyone interesting?

George: Yeah, interesting, but Psycho!……Sorry Bob, this was a bad idea.

Bob: Don't think you're getting off that easy. You owe me big time.

George: Fine, I'll buy dinner.

Bob looks at him with that "this better be good" look.

George: OK, Yes, I'll take you to your favorite restaurant, "Sprouts Paradise"

Bob: All is forgiven.

This week THE GUYS will be launching their very first comic strip. Also…..

Bob the Vegan will be back for a second season.

Plus a few other fun articles. 

Hope to see you later tonight.

Dear Guys,

I recently dated a guy who I liked quite a lot. We went out for about six weeks and seemed to have a great time together. He said he was very attracted to me, but he was nervous about having sex with me. He said his life was too overwhelming with the current divorce proceedings under way and so he didn't want to make things more confusing. I was fine with that. Like I said, he was a great guy. But it became clear to me that the relationship wasn't going to go any further than a friendship. He pretty much said he wanted to just be friends. And I actually think he was being serious and valued our friendship a lot. We did… AND do…. have a great time together.

I'd like to have him as a friend, but the problem is I'm still attracted to him. Will this work? What do THE GUYS think?

Anonymous

Dear A,

Our first reaction is to say, forget him. Unless the friendship you have with him is so unique you can't replace it with anyone else, this situation is just going to make you frustrated and angry. Don't you have enough friends already?

Sure, two people can be friends after breaking up but it's not that common. Some of the GUYS have managed to do this, but it's not the easiest road to take, especially if one party is hoping for something more. And that's the key for you. This guy has made it pretty clear he just wants to be friends. And when a guy says that believe us he means it, otherwise he's doing everything he can to get you in bed. So if you think you can change his mind, you're going to be disappointed. Although, stranger things have happened. But it's very unlikely.

Women seem better at evaluating relationships and compartmentalizing each piece. So a woman might be more apt to try to salvage a great friendship even if the guy is the one that broke up with her. (Ladies please let us know if we're way off base here! We're complimenting you, but don't let us get out of line.) But GUYS are different. If a woman breaks up with a GUY he might pretend to be a friend, but only because he's still secretly hoping for sex. But generally he's OUTTA there once it's over!

So you decide. Is the friendship worth the possible pain? And ask yourself this. If he starts seeing someone else, are you going to feel like being a supportive friend then?

Good luck.

THE GUYS

Since we had so many comments about these great sites last week, we're posting them again with a few new ones.

These are in random order!!

AskCherlock  (Biting, smart, political commentary and news!)

Selfesteemblogforwomen(Insightful, sensitive, straight-forward thoughts on relationships! Always something new and different.)

Luvemorleavem (Smart advice for women AND men on dating and relationships. Hip!)

BadGal (The truth! Badgal says it like it is. Watch out!)

JenniferWrites (Just as advertised! Jennifer writes. And writes well!)

Bluz Dude (Experience the funny and wacky adventures right along with him! Good storytelling!)

Everythingbikiniblog (Sexy, cute and fun!)(Yes, we're GUYS!)

Fibromyalgiaisnotmylife.com (The story of positive thinking. Thoughts from a friend)

HeatherDugan  (The coolest travel entries and pictures. Well written!)

Abitofhappy  (This is the place to feel good!)

TJLubrano (The cutest drawings on the planet. She's talented all around.)

thinkingoutloudblog (Funny and clever! Always something new and different)

Charityjoybell (Beautiful poetry. Uplifting writing)

NaughtieScribe (Intense, passionate, erotic, well crafted. Great writing!)

Justbloggled (Funny and interesting stories on life. Because life IS baffling!)

DecaffeinatedCoffee (Hip comics from a hipster! Funny as hell!)

AristryInfaux (No other way to describe it. Cool and stylish!)

Funkkeejooce (Creative, inspirational, honest and fun!)

Sugarsnow (Intelligent writing and commentary! And funny!)

RamblingBrooke (Creative travel log from one of our free spirited friends. Interesting and informative)

Adventuresofstartingover (Newly single friend blogs about her life. Interesting and insightful opinions)

Withoutdash (Relationships explored from a woman's point of view. Very thorough and thoughtful!)

Nothingprofound (This guy makes you think. Aphorisms at their best!)

ObscureLabyrinth (This site takes you in, squeezes you and bites you on the way out. Lots of fun to read)

Madofme (Go on a wild ride!)

Stugod (Our bud from across the ocean. Welding and tools and more)

Astronomyforeveryone (Interesting and smart! Explore the universe!)

Theabsurdstranger (Philosophy that makes sense. And that's not easy to do!)

Thelifeofannie (Big city girl living in a small town world. Hot and fresh!)

Alittlegirltalk (Just like the title says. Relationships, humor, quotes and more. A great read)

Stuperheroextraordinaire (Funny and honest stream of consciousness!)

NannyGoatsinPanties (One word: FUNNY!)

TheAdventuresofFredandEthel (Small town. Big voice!)

Grammology (Our fave grandma tells it like it is!)

Superficialgallery (Celebrity pics and very funny commentary!)

Applause4aCause (The site with a good heart and good cause)

Mommyslittlecorner (All things mommy. A little bit of everything! Cool pics too!)

Dategirldiaries  (Sweet and honest thoughts about relationships from one of our fave 20 something)

Women's Wit (And yes, it's quite funny. Well worth a read!)

Victoria Hart (Some serious, some fun, some cooking….a little bit of everything. Enjoyable!)

Zpoet (Intelligent and inspiring storytelling. Great writing!)

NOTE:
If you weren't included on this list today please contact us. It's not
because we don't think your site is great. We just don't know you as
well as we'd like to. YET!!

We like to spread the love as much as possible. So comment away! We'll take notice for sure!!

THE GUYS

We left off last week with Bob, Dan and George having a drink filled fashion show. Torrie walks in on them. Scroll down for Part 1.

Torrie: Bob the Vegan huh? Aren't those leather shoes you're wearing?

Bob: Torrie, uh, hi. What a nice surprise!

Torrie: Please, don't give me that nice surprise crap. What the hell is going on?

Bob: We're just having a good time. George has been feeling down about Amy.

Torrie: I thought you were a vegan? You can't wear leather shoes.

Bob: It's a special occasion. I made an exception for George.

Torrie: Well this is just a bit "out there" for me. When I think of guys I don't normally think of undies and women's high heels.

Dan: Well these shoes are actually for my new girlfriend.

Torrie: Seems like the wrong size Dan, don't you think?

Dan: Well they're for me….for her……she's a foot fetishist.

Torrie: Oh my god, what the hell is going on. What is this, some weird alternate universe where freaks rule the world.

Bob: Torrie enough!! C'mon lighten up. Have a drink. Please…for George.

Torrie looks at George who looks kind of stricken.

Torrie: FINE!…., let's see the show.

George: Sounds great. Thanks for understanding Torrie.

The music goes back on. Torrie has a few drinks and loosens up a bit.The gang is parading around and laughing.

George: Hey guys check this outfit out.

Bob: Oh my god George, you've had too many drinks.

Torrie and Dan gag on their drinks.

Dan: Get that heel out of your butt!! I have to wear those you know!

Bob and Torrie start laughing. Victoria now walks in.

Victoria: Hey guys can I join the party.

Dan: Hi honey!!

Dan goes over to kiss Victoria.

Dan: Everyone, this is Victoria.

Everyone: Hi Victoria

Victoria: Hi everyone!

The party continues until Victoria and Dan go off to Dan's room and Torrie and Bob go off to Bob's room. George is left alone.

George:(Talking out loud to himself) Now what?…..Alone…..I better get used to it…….hmm…..what should I do…..

He hears noises from the bedrooms.

George:(Still talking to himself) Great. That's all I need. Well I could always……Don't do it George……..no George, you've come too far……..

BUT….George gets out his computer and starts surfing for porn.

George:(Still talking to himself): This is all I have now. I'm a weak man. A lonely weak man.

Bob:(From the bedroom) What's the knocking noise I hear? Sounds like a heavy breathing woodpecker or something. Is that George?

Torrie: That is disgusting.

She covers her ears.

Torrie: I hear nothing!! ……..Come here Bob….you hottie!

Bob and Torrie embrace.

Tune in next week……

"In" and "out" need each other to exist. That is a truism that will never be OUT!

In jazz music, when a player takes it "out" that player does away with the chord structure and plays free from constraint. If done right it's considered very hip. But "out" is only hip if "in" has been stated clearly. 

Hmmm….let's sum this up and even take it one step further. So without a contrasting "in" there would be no "out." In essence "out" would actually become "in."

OK, are you confused? We are!

Opposites need one another. Light is characterized as light because heavy exists. Down by Up. Large by Small. The same theory could also apply to politics. Without Democrats would the Republican party exist and vice versa?

The thing that's the most confusing is that the "In Crowd" changes more rapidly these days than our kids' birthday lists. Just a year ago, the "In Crowd" in Washington changed hands. This reversal set off a huge restructuring and repositioning within that community, but it also forced ordinary folks like us…. AND YOU…. to choose sides. And boy have we! The country is more polarized than we've ever seen it. Tolerance is clearly OUT, replaced by the new IN: smugness, arrogance and entitlement. It's scary!

But the problem with this paradigm, is that nothing ever gets done. WHY?  Because "in and out" are constantly vying for power and constantly changing. As soon as one becomes "in" the "out" does  everything it can to undermine the "in." Then things reverse and it happens again. An endless cycle that will be reborn again and again like the Hindu world of reincarnation. Enlightenment is only attained by breaking the cycle. Change is only made if we come together on SOMETHING!!!

So what can we agree on? 

Hmm….Not health care. Hmmm……Not global warming.  Hmm….not the death penalty. Hmm…not the war, or illegal immigrants, or food sources, or green living….or……anything????

And sure, disagreement and constructive discussions are all good. This country was formed on sweat and debate. Blah, blah…..to use our teenage neighbor's lingo…….Yeah, whatever dude!

So things kind of suck right now. Yeah, we said it. We're not sure what to make of it all. We don't even know where we stand because for ANY topic that comes to mind we can find enough information supporting both sides to fill our entire computer's hard drive! As we said earlier this week, our brains are frying with overload.

So we guess what it comes down to is, we all need to make decisions for ourselves. How do we do that?

Here are a few first steps we're taking:

Don't believe everything you hear on TV or read in the newspapers or magazines? Figure out what agenda is going on? Is there a hidden message? Who's actually delivering the message?

Same with information on the internet. Is someone making money off you thinking a certain way? What do they have to gain off you agreeing with them? Or disagreeing with them?

In some ways actually having an opinion solely your own is close to impossible. We are all influenced by the world around us. Our family, friends and co-workers. The ads on TV, billboards, radio, internet. The bumper stickers on cars. The paper. Magazines. You name it, it's in our face all of the time.

So while you're out and about, be careful what you take in. Corruption is on every street corner, ball field, bus stop and shopping mall.

If your brain hasn't completely short circuited yet, repeat this mantra: Our minds are our own.

Let's start acting like it!!!

Quiz:

Is it better being "in" on the way "out?" Or being "out" on the way "in?"

Hope you leave a comment OR answer!! We would love a huge outpouring of input.

Thanks,

THE GUYS

Our lives are slowly spiraling out of control. We have somehow entered a new realm, an alternate world if you will. How we ended up down the rabbit hole is a mystery to us. But we'd like to wake up from our dream soon.

Here's how are lives are actually playing out. Somehow it seems oddly familiar but we can't quite put our fingers on it. Experience the slow burn of our brains as we try to keep track of more and more people, places, things and events!

Our world in Five Chapters and how we try to cope!

Chapter 1. Remembering all of our friends!? Including spouses AND kids!

As we're walking to our kid's back to school night, we realize we forgot to review the class lists, especially names of parents. Of course the first person we see is someone we know we're supposed to know. We elbow our wives: "Honey, what's her name again?" "How do we know her?" "What are the names of her kids?" "Do our kids play together?" It's impossible to keep track of everyone. We hardly even remember our own kids' birthdays.

(What's that burning smell? That's our brains beginning to smoke!)

2. Quick status updates.

That very same night in school. "Who were we just talking to?"  "Was that the woman that just got divorced?" "What was her creepy husband's name? The one that cheated on her with the Reading Specialist?" "What's the name of the new Reading Specialist?"

(Our head is now fully engulfed in smoke with trickles of fire coming out of our ears!)

3.Event reminders.

Every morning we wake to the sounds of: "Don't forget to call your mother back." "The kids need a lunch." "Tonight is PTO meeting." "So and so called you." "Let's compare calendars before you make plans." "Remember the kids have games every night this week." "Where is your gig tonight?"

(Our brain is beginning to melt. Our frontal cortex is starting to sag!)

4. Old Flames and friends.

Some of THE GUYS live in the same home town they grew up in. This is never good if you're trying to avoid the past. The local coffee shop, movie theater or ball field are dangerous venues to have to relive those old high school days. You know, the ones you've worked many years at forgetting. Just the other day we ran into an old crush, reminding us about unrequited love. Please get away from us you vampire! And now we have to actually remember her kids too. Crap.

(Can you say, Total Meltdown. Our brain now resembles a charred steak, cooked long and hard to avoid any unwanted disease.)

5. New Friends.

Now we have all these new friends. Mostly inherited due to common social obligations and kids. Some have actually become true friends, but most will slowly pass through our lives in a few months or few years. New friends come with new responsibilities. New things to save in the data files. Keeping on top of this vast number of people has put us over the top!

(You see those flakes floating in the air? Those are the final ashes of our completely seared brains!)

But we're all good. Because we can easily replace our brain with a good old fashioned computer. And we'll transfer all our saved files, including new friends, event reminders, status updates, etc. onto one site so that we can keep it all straight.

Wait a second??!!! Isn't that called Facebook?

It is difficult to think without a brain. But how could we forget?

And one more good thing about being controlled by a computer chip, is that we can finally sit back and let something else do all our thinking for us!

Ahhhhh………

THE "MACHINES" GUYS

We hope you are all having a great weekend. THE GUYS have been adjusting to our fall schedules so we've been a bit distracted around here. We THINK we have it together now, so we'll be resuming our normal correspondence with our friends in the blogging community and beyond. But today we're still piecing things together. So we recommend you visit some of these great blogs while we iron out the kinks.

We're also responding in our way to the few awards we've received from friends. We're not the best at the technology aspect of things, so we'll just put links with our comments.

We will post this again next week. 

These are in random order!!

AskCherlock  (Biting, smart, political commentary and news!)

Selfesteemblogforwomen (Insightful, sensitive, straight-forward thoughts on relationships! Always something new and different.)

Luvemorleavem (Smart advice for women AND men on dating and relationships. Hip!)

BadGal (The truth! Badgal says it like it is. Watch out!)

Everythingbikiniblog (Sexy, cute and fun!)(Yes, we're GUYS!)

Fibromyalgiaisnotmylife.com (The story of positive thinking. Thoughts from a friend)

HeatherDugan  (The coolest travel entries and pictures. Well written!)

Abitofhappy  (This is the place to feel good!)

TJLubrano (The cutest drawings on the planet. She's talented all around.)

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THE GUYS

Dear Guys,
I'm a shy, 35 year old woman. I'm not much into the dating scene. Partly because I'm busy, working two jobs just to pay the rent.

But I do have two men who are very interested in me and I've been dating both of them when I have time. Since I'm religious, I'm not having physical relations with either of them. Both men have expressed interest in taking the relationship to the next level. I'm not sure what to do. One is considerably older than me, and other is a little bit younger than me.

I do like both of them, but not sure how to proceed. I'm just not sure. What do you guys think?

Tiffany
(No address given)

(Edit: We forgot to include the ages of the guys. Partly due to the fact that "Tiffany" (Not her real name) wanted everything paraphrased. The older guy is 53 and the younger is 30. We apologize. See our comment below.

Hi Tiffany,
Thanks for writing. We think the best way to answer your question is to just state some pros and cons for each type of guy. Older vs Younger. That might help you gain a little more clarity or insight about each. However, in the end you're going to have to make the decision based on your gut feeling. And your heart of course!

And partly because we have NO idea what you should do!! We don't have enough information!

But we'll break it down for you anyway. Remember, these are just generalizations. You still know best. And we think, you probably already know the answer, but you want permission to move forward. And of course we give you that permission for what it's worth!

So here we go!

Older Guy

Pros:
1. He's much more likely to be financially stable. Meaning, he might have a good job. He might own a house or have some sort of property. And he's likely to have socked away some money. Unless of course he's divorced with kids. Then he's broker than broke.

2. He's understanding. Your older guy's been through a lot. Or at least he has a lot of experience. He's probably dated his fair share of ladies and he's hopefully learned a lot about relationships in the process. Or he's just a weirdo or a psycho and you don't know it….yet.

3. He'll likely worship you. Why? Because he'll feel incredibly lucky to have snagged someone 18 years younger than him. The rest of his wrinkled buds will constantly make remarks to this effect, so he will do everything he can to make you happy.

4. He might be more interesting. Living for 53 years on the planet, a person must pick up a few things along the way. If not, we feel bad for your future offspring.

Cons:
1. He's old! By the time you're 45, he'll be 63. And so on. He'll look more like a grandfather than a dad if you plan on having kids.

2. It's possible he won't take you seriously. He'll think he's smarter than you or more experienced than you.

3. Do you really want to be number 47 on his personal list of women he's "been" with?

4. He's marrying you because you're 18 years younger than him.

5. Did we say he's old?

Younger Guy

Pros:
1. He'll have a lot of energy. We hope this enthusiasm will transfer to some of the more important aspects of your relationship. Like the bedroom. He'll have to do something to make up for his lack of experience.

2. He'll worship you. Why? You're the experienced and hot older women that every guy fantasizes about.

3. You will experience many of the big events in life for the first time, together. Getting married…..having kids…….buying a house……stress!

Cons:
1. He's young. A guy doesn't really mature until his early 30's. Hopefully this guy is ahead of the curve.

2. He's broke. He might have a good job, but he's still paying off his student loans and his car loans.
And if you want to keep up with the Jones's…..or even the Smiths….. let's hope he's not an artist or a musician!

3. He's inexperienced. Guys might brag to their buddies about how good they are with the ladies, but deep down they all fear they're not good enough. At 30 he's still not sure where he stands.

4. Did we say he's young? He may not really have figured out what he wants to do with his life. Hopefully he doesn't figure it out in five years and realize he wants to become an explorer and travel the world by himself!

We hope this helps!

THE GUYS