The Guy’s Perspective

Driving to my in-laws house over Thanksgiving is no fun. Once I’m there, it’s great, but the traffic going down is hell. Not nail biting hell, just annoying as hell.

Imagine this. Three lane highway. All three lanes full of traffic. For miles.

So I’m driving on one major highway and I need to get in the right lane to merge on to another highway. I assess the situation and I know I’m confronted with three choices. (Remember these choices. They will come into play later!)

Choice 1: Merge as soon as I can, which would put me in the right lane about a mile back from the exit.

Choice 2: Move over somewhere around the half mile mark, hopefully in front of a truck that’s left some space in front of it.

Choice 3: Speed in the middle lane and cut in as close to the exit as possible.

I won’t lie to you, the first choice just isn’t me.  I’m not patient enough when I drive. I should be. It would be better for my health that’s for sure! But although I’m generally a kind enough soul, I have an aggressive streak that occasionally comes out on the road.  Where I live, it’s eat or be eaten. I try to eat.

So as I’m driving down for Thanksgiving, to my surprise and my wife’s, I pull over about the 3/4 mile mark. She just looks at me. She likes driving…grew up with cars…her dad, brother. They all know about cars. I know nothing, but at least I drive like them.

I say to her, “What?!!”

She says, “Do you need to get your testosterone levels checked?”

I say, “I just didn’t feel like being an ass……..”

She says, “Oh really.”

I say, “Yeah. I just can’t stomach it anymore.”

She nods. I nod. We drive.

After arriving at our destination and decompressing for a bit, I was talking to her brother and telling the story I just relayed to all of you. We were laughing about it saying it was the perfect “Guy Barometer.” Each choice gives a woman a pretty good indication of whom she’s dealing with. And no choice is better than the other, just different.

(Keep in mind that these are generalizations. Individuals may vary!)

Choice 1/The Early Merger: Likely to be kind, patient. An all around good guy. Might be boring. Methodical. Possibly a handyman. Book smart. Slow moving…..apply that how you want. Responsible.

Choice 3/The Last Minute Cutter: Aggressive and proud of it. Not patient. Goes for it. Probably has money. Could be a good guy, but also could be a total, you know what! Not handy, but handsy. Street smart. Fast moving…..apply how you want. Risk Taker.

Choice 2: Any combination of above. But he might be worried about what other’s think too much, including you.  However, he could also be a mystery worth unraveling.

So here’s what we’re suggesting. Give your man the driving test!!

It’s often hard to tell after a few dates what your new man is really like. So go for a drive during rush hour or some other crazy time to be on the road and watch what happens. Watch him while he’s sitting, moving and most importantly merging to get off an exit.

You will learn more from from that drive than you will from any advice book you’ll ever read.

So give it a try and please report back. THE GUYS and I want to know.

“ONE of THE GUYS”

ps. Please share any of your traffic or road experiences with us, as they may or may not relate to your relationship. We’d love to hear from you.

Here is a guest comic strip we wrote for Decaffeinated Coffee. The comic strip  is drawn by the very talented Chuck Harrison. Today’s post is our recent collaboration.
Check out more of Chuck’s great work on his website, DC Strip.

THE GUYS want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving!

“ONE of THE GUYS” wrote a poem in remembrance of his grandfather. Yes it’s a bit melancholy, but it’s a reminder to us all to try and enjoy every moment in our lives. Sure we have good days and bad days, but when it comes down to it, what we do is so much less important than whom we do it with. So this poem is a reminder to remember the people in our lives who are no longer with us. But also a reminder  to enjoy the people who are with us today.

Have a great turkey day!

THE GUYS

We asked a dear friend of ours to illustrate this poem for us. Her talent and generosity graces us. For more work by TJ Lubrano, please go to her site. We understand she creates unique birthday cards, holiday cards and other illustrations.

Grandpa and Holidays

Holidays are supposed to be
The finest time of year
With everyone a smiling
And singing loud and clear

Cheerful faces giggling
Best friends holding hands
Giving and receiving
All throughout the lands

But holidays are hard for me
They remind me of the past
When my Grandpa was alive
Blessing us with laughs

So when everyone is glad
Or for now at least pretending
I am feeling really blue
‘Cause my heart is still a mending

It was about two years ago when I realized I had become obsolete.

One day, while my kids were talking and laughing with their friends,  I listened and smiled in the background. I enjoyed their laughter and banter. But my smile soon faded when I realized I had no idea what they were talking about. I had no idea whom they were referencing and what they were alluding to. All the cool things I used to do and know were clearly no longer cool, replaced by all these new things. In that moment,  I realized I had become a dinosaur and it frightened me. I didn’t like knowing I was headed down the path of the Dodo Bird or the great Woolly Mammoth.

I winced and weighed my options.  I could either GET CURRENT or become extinct. I chose the former and got to work.

First I took stock of everything I had kept up on. Let’s see, I knew who was president. I knew about American Idol and all the reality TV shows. I managed to know what an MP3 file was somehow, and….um……that was basically it. So now I made a list of all the areas I needed to get up to speed in: music, technology, sports, art, the internet and current lingo. That was a good start. WOW, that was a ton of stuff to consume!

But the hard part was still in front of me. Where was I going to get the “right” info? The rest of THE GUYS were as clueless as me. I realized I had to find the source.  And then it suddenly became clear to me. The source came in the form of young people! They were up on all the current trends. They were the demographic SETTING all the trends. So my education began.

Being a teacher helped me a ton in my quest to become current. I had access to all the young minds I could ever want. I just needed to keep my trap shut so I could learn from all of them. And that’s what I did. Sure I gave my lessons, but at the end of each session, I’d ask a few open ended questions to find out about them, and what they were up to. My questions ranged from the general, “What’s going on in your life?” to the specific, “What can you tell me about…so and so?”

I was amazed at how well my inquiries were received. The simple act of asking a question immediately opened up channels that seemed so impossibly closed. What I was doing unintentionally, was acknowledging their expertise  and thus leveling the playing field. What was once a monologue became a dialogue, which was so much more interesting and educational for both of us!

The long and short of all this is, over the course of a year, I slowly caught up to the present and became “current” and had a ton of fun doing it.

So I fast forward to the present.

These days, I work hard to keep current and stay curious. I attempt to listen as much as I can and learn from the young people who surround me, including my own family. And I keep the lines of communication open. That’s my best ally to avoiding the path of extinction, and my best ally to having a solid relationship with the people I care for the most.

And you know what?  My kids are now including me in their fun conversations.  And even better, I  understand what they’re saying!

“ONE of THE GUYS”

Have you kept current? Please share your discoveries!

A special bonus. Here are some cool things that some of my younger friends are up to. Be sure to check out their talent.

War Tapes (The best Doom Pop group on the planet)

Louise Rose Designs (Cool custom jewelry and accessories)

Astonishing Tales (Intelligent, introspective and catchy)

Project Erik (Slick animation on You Tube)

Kira Jeannee (Piano music that will move you)

Titanic Piano 14 (Funky, jazzy piano that rocks)

Rock of Main St. (The coolest venue for young bands)

72FA4UTSM74

This is episode #4 of the second season of “Bob the Vegan.”

Read the first three episodes to get caught up.

Speed Dating

The New Job

The Boss

Episode 4: The Handyman

Bob is meeting up with Dan and George.

Bob: Hey Dan, nice to see you.

Dan: Nice to see you too. (They do the man hug)

Bob: Ever since you moved in with Victoria it’s been radio silence.

Dan: I know, I’m sorry man. It’s just, she’s keeping me busy. She’s such a freak!

Bob: I’m assuming, that’s “freak,” as in Freaky!

Dan: You wouldn’t even believe me if I told you.

Bob: You’re right, and I don’t want to know.

Dan: Suit yourself……..hey, I thought George was coming too.

Bob: He said, he’d be here, so I’m sure he’s just running late. You know he started his own business as a handyman?

Dan: Really!?? I didn’t know! So cool! Hopefully that will keep him busy. It’s sad about Amy and him breaking up.What’s the latest on that?

Bob: It looks like the divorce is going to go through in a month. He’s pretty bummed, so don’t bring it up. I want to have fun tonight. It’s been a while since we’ve had a guy’s night!

Dan: Here he comes now……Yo, George!

George: Hey guys, sorry I’m late.

Dan: Hey old buddy, it’s been too long.

George: Way too long!

(They do the man hug too. Bob as well)

Dan: So George, how’s the new job. I didn’t know you were a handyman now. In fact I didn’t know you could fix anything??

George: Yeah, I learned from my Grandpa. He was a handyman too. It’s fun. But I’ve got to tell you what’s been happening.

Bob: What do you mean?

George: Let’s get a beer first and I’ll tell you about it.

They order. The drinks arrive.

Bob: So what’s going on?

George: OK. So I’ve gotten a few small jobs  in town. The usual stuff. You know, painting, hammering, etc. Well anyway, I get this call to do a job in the Heights. You know, the ritzy, snooty suburb about twenty minutes west of town.

Dan: Yawn.

George: What?

Dan: Is this going to be some lame work story?

George: Will you please chill and listen!

Dan: Fine.

Bob: And??

George: So I show up at this big ass house. A woman answers the door. She was probably in her early 50s. Very nice. Great shape.  Apparently her sink was clogged or something.

Bob: Her sink’s clogged?

George: Yeah.

Dan: Hmm…..this is getting more interesting.

George: No, it wasn’t like that. Her ACTUAL sink was clogged. So I’m working and she’s chatting away. Recently divorced. Her ex was a businessman. Traveled a ton and cheated on her in every state. So I’m nodding along, but by now I’m really just trying to fix the sink so I can get out of there. The conversation is starting to make me a bit nervous. So I finish up and start to pack up my things when she says she almost forgot that her washing machine has been acting up and would I mind taking a look at it. She says she’ll pay me for my time. So I say fine.

Bob: OK, I’m nervous to know what’s coming.

Dan: I’m not. This is better than I thought.

George: ANYWAY……so we head down in the basement and we go into this small room where the washer and dryer are. She says, that it’s not spinning properly or something like that. So I put down my tools and I’m looking inside the washer for a minute. When I turn around to get a tool to tighten a screw, she’s completely naked.

Bob: WHAT!!!

Dan: I knew it!

George: It’s even better. She comes over and leans against me and says she’ll pay me whatever I want.

Bob: Are you serious?

George: Yep.

Dan: Nice!

Bob: So what did you do?

George: What did you think I did?

Bob: I hope you you thanked her for the offer and got the hell out of there.

Dan: Are you nuts Bob!! Please tell me you took her up on her offer George!

George: You damn right! I hoisted her right up on the washing machine. I guess it was never broken, because she turned it on while we were doing it. Seemed to make her go crazy! And I wasn’t arguing.

Bob: You are crazy.

George: No, I’m not. And still I haven’t gotten to the best part.

Dan: What?? What??

George: She paid me five bills for my time.

Bob: Five hundred dollars!!!

George: Well, I did fix the sink. And technically the washer too.

Dan: Wait, let me get this straight. You were there for what, two hours. You did a little work and got laid. And on top of that you got paid half a grand?

George: All true.

Dan: SWEET!!!!! High five my man! (They slap hands)

Bob: So now you’re a gigolo?

George: Oh c’mon Bob. No harm, no foul. She was happy as hell. I was happy as hell. She’s loaded. I’m broke. What’s wrong with that?

Bob: You had sex for money! That’s what’s wrong. And you took advantage of a poor divorced woman.

George: Bob, you need to stop being such a goody, goody boy, or we’re going to kick you out of the sewing circle.

Bob: Fine, but this is trouble in the making.

Dan: Bob, I see no harm in this. George had some fun. And he made some serious coin doing it. So I say, good for you George!….. When are you going back?

George: And now for the best part. I’ve been going every Thursday for the last three weeks!  I do some chores around her house and then we go at it. She loves doing it in whatever part of the house I’m working in. I guess the smell of construction and sweat makes her horny.

Bob: Nothing good is going to come of this.

Dan: Oh lighten up Bob, it’s all good. This is exactly what George needs. Let’s have another beer! Maybe talking about work isn’t so bad.

George: So Bob, how’s the coffee shop?

Bob: Don’t even go there.

Guys,

My new live in boyfriend is always  bringing some reading material into the bathroom with him. He loves to linger and hang out. Is this normal? It’s a little strange and kind of gross.

S    (Rest of name withheld. Understandably so!)

Dear S,

Too funny! The answer is yes, this is totally normal for GUYS. So no worries. Of course, we can’t answer the real question for you. Is it turning you off?

We love reading on the can. It’s our way of multi-tasking, but also relaxing. Newspapers, magazines, books, anything. It’s one of the few times of the day, where we can just sit, uninterrupted. We take our time and we enjoy it. So rest assured, your boyfriend is “ONE of THE GUYS!”

But there is a bonus for you too. You can use this as ammunition the next time your guy says he can’t put away the dishes because he’s watching the game. You say, “If you can read and use the toilet at the same time, you can watch the TV in the kitchen and put the dishes away.” And he will mutter to himself. “Damn…busted.”

However, one note. It isn’t sound practice to read for too long on the toilet. It’s definitely not good for the bowels in general. Have your boyfriend check out these sites for more info on health and etiquette.

BBC

Esquire: Answer Fellah

Also some funny toilet pictures.

Funny Toilet Pictures

Funny Toilet Gallery

We hope some of our women readers will chime in and give you some more input. And finally we’re wondering, do any of our women readers partake?

THE GUYS

We want to thank Askcherlock for giving us a Best Blogger award. We are honored and thrilled to receive this. If you’re looking for intelligent, honest and biting commentary on politics definitely check them out! We read them everyday!

So the idea is, in accepting this award we also need to pass it on to some of our favorite bloggers. And of course they in turn will pass it on to some of their favorite bloggers. And so on!! Fifteen seems to be the number that everyone is agreeing on, so here are fifteen of our favorite blogs, in no particular order, that we’d like to bestow the Best Blogger award to.

Sugar Snow Music

Footsteps Travel

Bluzdude

Stuperhero Extraordinaire

The Madness of Me

Obscure Labyrinth

Out of context: Pieces of a Life

TJ Lubrano

Adventures of Starting Over

Superficial Gallery

Luvem or Leavem

Naughtie Scribe

Self Esteem Blog for Women

I should be napping

Date Girl Diaries

If you’ve received this award from THE GUYS, we hope you’ll link to us and pass it along!

Enjoy!!

Bob and Torrie at Bob's house.

Bob: So what do you mean you're not getting your needs met? That sounds kind of ominous.

Torrie: No, I don't mean like that.

Bob: Well, what do you mean?

Torrie: First of all you're never available anymore. And when you are, we never go out!!

Bob: Torrie, I have a new job that I like. I'm lucky to have one in this economy, so I'm doing everything I can to keep it.

Torrie: I thought you were a vegan. How can you work in a coffee shop?

Bob: Vegans can drink coffee, they just can't put milk in it.

Torrie: Well what about the sandwiches you serve? Those aren't vegan. Doesn't that bother you?

Bob: Well we also offer sandwiches that are vegan. I'm trying to make the place as progressive as possible. The owner really likes the direction I'm taking it and he says business has never been better.

Torrie: Well, I'd watch him as well. He's after you too.

Bob: What are you talking about? Thomas isn't gay.

Torrie: Oh please, he's totally gay.

Bob: How do you know?

Torrie: How do I know? I'll give you three examples. One: He calls himself Thomas instead of Tom. Two: I know for a fact he prefers a bath over a shower. Three: He has a membership to Remy's Gym. And you know the rumors about that place.

Bob: How do you know all this stuff?

Torrie: Well, I, um…….

Bob: Torrie????

Torrie: OK fine, I've been following him.

Bob: What!!! You've been following him?

Torrie: Yeah, I've been following him.

Bob: I can't believe this. Really? Why?

Torrie: Please, I've seen the way he looks at you. I wanted to find out if my suspicions were true.

Bob: Wow, I'm shocked.

Torrie: Well, it seems like you've got a bunch of admirers over there.

Bob: Torrie, it's just that one customer and he's totally harmless. Not Thomas. And even if Thomas is gay, he's totally professional and totally cool. I like him. He's become a friend.

Torrie: Yeah right. A friend with benefits.

Bob: Is that what this is all about? When you say you're not getting your needs met that's really just you being jealous?? Over my boss? Who's a guy? Even though you know I love you. (Pause) You know what, I'm beginning to wonder.

Torrie: Oh you are??!! Well, I'll have you know that I've got a lot of admirers too.

Bob: I bet you do.

Torrie: Yes I do. You'd be surprised at how many guys take my Step Class.

Bob: Well that's news to me. Are you threatening me?

Torrie: Nope, I'm just saying I have admirers too.

Bob: That sounds like a threat. I thought we were well beyond this kind of interaction. I'm sorry I haven't been around much or paying that much attention to you, but I'm trying hard to focus on myself and my career. It's exciting, don't you understand that?

Torrie: Yes, but there has to be a balance.

Bob: Yes, but balance is created over a long period of time. I agree, it's a little out of whack right now. But that's how things work. You've been talking about going back to school. Well if you do, you'll be extremely busy and that's the way it will be. You'll have no choice and you'll expect me to be supportive. Well, that's what I'm expecting, or I should say, hoping, you'll be now. (Pause) But please, don't threaten me. That's just not good for our relationship. And it doesn't work for me at all. (pause) (Sighs) Even though I'm pretty pissed, I will say to you that you don't have anything to worry about with my boss, any guy or any other girl for that matter. So enough already. Don't you trust me?

Torrie: You're right. Damn, I just get so worked up. I'm sorry Bob. I do trust you, more than anyone I've ever been with, but you know how I am with trust in general.

Bob: We can work on that together, but you need to work on that by yourself too. Maybe there's someone you could talk to?

Torrie: You mean a therapist?

Bob: Maybe. I mean anyone. Sometimes it's good to get another opinion and some objective insight.
It's something to think about.

Torrie: OK. I will think about it. But for now, how about helping me with some of my other needs?

Bob: Sounds good to me. Come here you! I do have one need in particular that requires your special attention.

Torrie: Yum!!! I'm glad I'm not a vegan.

For smaller screens just click on the comic to enlarge!

This is our third installment of “The Malaprops.” See the categories section for the first two.

Today we have a very special guest artist, Chuck Harrison. For more on Chuck and his daily comic strip, check out his website, Decaffeinated Coffee. It’s definitely worth a visit!

Also: “ONE of THE GUYS” will be making an appearance in the near future as a guest writer for his strip.

Special Note: THE GUYS are making some big changes very soon. So just a heads up. We’re going to be using The Guy’s Perspective Dot Com very soon as our new URL. Our look may be changing as well, but we’ll still be bringing you the same content you’ve come to expect from THE GUYS!

We’ll keep you posted. Thanks for visiting. And come again!!

From, "ONE of THE GUYS"

When my wife asked me the other day, "Why are you wearing that ratty shirt again?" my response was,
"We can't afford for ALL of us to look good."

That seemed sufficient enough to keep her quiet, at least for a bit. I wasn't threatening, just being honest. And I think she understood the implication. If you and the kids want to keep getting new clothes whenever you need them, get off my back! The only thing "on my back" should be this ratty shirt.

So why do guys wear old raggedy clothes? 

Sure, sometimes it's a matter of economics, but most of the time it's because we don't care. Dressing up for work is one thing, but putting a ton of effort into dressing for a weekend day is just beyond us. We would be happy wearing the same thing every day. And yes, that includes the WHOLE outfit. Outer wear and inner wear.

NO…….

We're not slobs.
We shower.(Semi-regularly)
We shave.(Five times a week. OK, maybe four.)
We brush our hair. (What we have left.)

But clothes, well it's just not that important anymore. Back in the day, my clothes made a statement about ME. This is who I am. This is my style. I'm unique and different. That was all well and good, but frankly it never really worked. Why? Because I am truly "ONE of THE GUYS." I realized that my identity was more about who I was, how I treated others, AND my interests, rather than my style of clothes.

So basically I have no style when it comes to clothes. I seek anonymity because I WANT to BLEND.

First impressions happen the moment someone glances at you. I am no exception to this rule. I see a GUY dressed in pink and I think one thing.(Reference to a previous article on "Guys and Pink" we did.) If I see a GUY dressed in a suit, I think something else. If it's a pink suit, that's a whole other story.

My point is that, I want my gestures and intentions and opinions to tell my story. And I hope that people will be able really see ME, and not my outfit. If I blend, the rest of the world is forced to investigate more thoroughly. And then they can decide whether or not they want to have a conversation with me.

But there is one thing that any woman reading this may not realize. We actually dress this way for you. Now you're thinking, that doesn't make sense? That is contradictory!! Well actually it's not. Think about this the next time you want to tell your guy to change his clothes…..

Who wouldn't shine next to a guy in a ratty shirt?!!

THE GUYS

PS. Where do you stand with clothes these days? How do you feel about a GUY in a ratty shirt? What sort of style do you prefer for yourself and/or your partner?

Dear Michelle,
We’re sorry you are having such a hard time. This is a very complex situation
and we have many thoughts and reactions to your letter.

Yes, you do have every right to be suspicious. He is obviously doing much
that you aren’t aware of. And it seems he’s fine with doing so. Anyone in your position would feel just as hurt and betrayed as you do. However, you are right. You did let your suspicions get the best of you and by looking through his email you’ve also crossed the line. But all is not necessarily lost, but much has to be sorted out.

You describe your relationship as on-and-off again for thirteen years. Is
this because you both don’t really want more? Or realize the relationship works, but it’s not really serious? And why has it been left up to him to take the relationship to the next level? Have you not wanted that?

Our point is, maybe these events are just what the two of you needed. It’s time to hash things out.
For REAL!!  And ask some hard questions.

What do you want?
What does he want?
Do you truly want each other in the same way?
And will you trust one another after this is all said and done?

So our advice to you is come clean. Forget damage control. Forget trying
to make it seem like something else. If the two of you are really an
exclusive couple then he’s cheating on you. Maybe not physically, but
certainly emotionally. This is not OK, and you shouldn’t tolerate it.
If you brush this aside it will eat at you and will just resent him
more and more.

So yes, you need to explain your suspicions and tell him what you did. Expect a bad reaction. At first. If he truly loves you and if you truly love him, it’s possible you may be able to work this out. It might take a day, a week or a month. You’ve already waited thirteen years to get to this point, so a little more time won’t hurt you. And it sounds like you’ve been so busy making everything nice and letting things roll off of you, that you haven’t gotten down to the nitty gritty.

Our question to you Michelle is, “Do you really love this man?” If so, then you do everything you can to make him understand what you want. We’re not really sure what that is though?  That’s something you really need to take a hard look at.

So what is the worst case scenario? You might lose this man. You may be devastated for a while.

So what is the best case scenario? The two of you come to a new understanding of one another and take the relationship to the next
level.

Another possible scenario: You move on and realize that the world is a big place with lots of interesting people to meet.  You’re young, energetic, intelligent and deserve to have what you want.
Don’t settle for something that doesn’t truly make you happy.

Good luck. We wish you the best.

THE GUYS

PS. The age of the GUY doesn’t have anything to do with this unfortunately.

Readers:
Feel free to leave us a comment. And email us at:
advice@theguysperspective.com if you have a question you’d like THE
GUYS to respond to.

THE GUYS were just visiting our good buddy Bluzdude and we read a very funny post about his experience with his two nephews. For a good laugh, be sure to check it out!!

But as his day with his nephews gave him new insight on what it’s like to be a parent and how difficult it is to be in the trenches day in and day out, it also got us thinking…..about marriage and partnerships.

Divorce impacts many couples. The sanctity of marriage seems to be a tenuous bond these days, easily broken by the many temptations life holds: other men, other women, more excitement, more free time, more money……the list goes on.

So what makes the bond between people strong? Well sure, LOVE. We hope that would be reason number one. And what else? Loyalty, responsibility, friendship, kids? Sure, these would all be good reasons.

But we’d like to give five reasons that maybe you hadn’t thought of. These
are moments that are NEVER, EVER spoken about, but happen in every home around the world. These are moments that bring us together in ways we never thought possible. These are true bonding experiences!

Bonding experience #1:

When couples first start dating it’s all clean and nice. They do everything they can to show their new found love, perfection…..which means pretty much keeping their “human-ness” a secret. What are we talking about? Yes, that’s right, bodily functions.
We’ve all been at dinner, a party or in the bedroom with that
horrifying urge to you know…..pass gas. But we would never dare! Not this early on in the relationship. So instead we endure hours of intense stomach pain to not give away the secret. What secret? “That we’re human!!” That’s all well and good, but in order to really move ahead in the relationship, one of the parties MUST take the leap and “deal” one.

Once that seal is broken a new bond is formed, and the relationship often catapults forward to a new level.

Bonding experience #2:

If you’ve gotten past the first stage you’re doing well. Now you may be spending a considerable amount of time with your new love and that might include sleep overs and extended time at his or her apartment.
This comes with its own unique set of challenges. One challenge high on the list, is the bathroom situation. Now you have to use the SAME bathroom. Your first instinct is to hold it, just like sleep away camp with outdoor latrines, and spiders as big as baseball gloves!  But eventually you have no choice.
First BMs(Bowel Movements) are met with embarrassed smiles, or little jokes, but that facade is just too difficult to maintain. So you have no choice but to do what you normally do. “GO!” This is the second test in the relationship. When you realize it’s not all roses, or that it doesn’t all smell like roses, and you don’t even care, you’ve now jumped your next big hurdle. From here the possibilities are endless.

Bonding Experience #3:

So things progress well and now you’re married and pregnant. Well GUYS you may want to skip this paragraph if your stomach is weak. Anyone who’s ever been part of a delivery, knows it’s not pretty, at least up until the baby part. And even that isn’t always pretty. But in any birth, anything goes. We’re talking every kind of bodily fluid imaginable. And yes GUYS, even poop. And we’re not talking from the babies.
Talk about a deep bonding experience. If a GUY can wipe that image from his mind and still see his wife as that sexy kitten he married, good for him. (Of course THE GUYS would say, our wives are even sexier AFTER giving birth, but that’s us.) And if a woman can still look her husband in the eye without feeling self-conscious that he’s seen it ALL, then intimacy will go to a whole new level!

Bonding experience #4:

And of course the obvious continuation with this is kids. What comes with those little buggers is messy diapers, poop in the pants and bodily fluids everywhere. These are not tasks meant for one person. It’s a tag team event for sure. The act of cleaning up every “episode” is enough to solidify a relationship for life. Each person gains a whole new level of respect and appreciation when sharing some of the dirtiest tasks known to man, AND woman.

Bonding experience #5:

We’d like to make just one last point. Isn’t it clear that some of the messier things in life have played a big part in bonding two people together?! But it doesn’t stop there. It’s especially important in the Golden Years of marriage. Without bodily fluids, what would we have to talk about?

THE GUYS