The Guy’s Perspective

Scroll Down for Online Dating Part 2 and Part 1

Please share our videos with your friends. Subscribe to our  You Tube Channel!  Thanks.

More Videos to Watch:

Dating Older Men

Listen to your friends

Getting Played – Trust your Gut

Dating a Younger Guy

Guys are comfortable with conflict

Also, join us on Twitter: @TGPBuzz (We’re somewhat new there, so spread the word to your friends as well. Thanks!)

Finally: We’re looking for Women Writers! Visit our Women Speak page to find out how to submit your work.

Video Script: 

Here is another profile we rewrote.

This is what we were sent.

Before:  

I love tennis. I try and play tennis 4 days a week and I’m looking for someone who is athletic and able to keep up. Other than tennis, I like reading, going for walks, good conversation and movies. I spend a lot of time with my grandchildren so the person I’m looking for must appreciate kids. It would be nice if you had kids yourself so we would have something to share. I have a good sense of humor and expect the same from the person I’m dating. I don’t like talking about the weather. I like to have meaningful conversations. I’m ultimately looking for a good partner who is young at heart and open to exploring new things.

After: (Our rewrite)

The two things I love doing the most are playing tennis and spending time with my grandchildren, and not necessarily in that order. Otherwise I would describe myself as a contrast in styles.

Smart humor engages me, but not at the expense of others.
I’m shy, but love to debate.
I can still run hard, but prefer a nice walk with a friend.
I have my own interests, but family is most important.
I’m a person of action, but love to read about other people’s lives.
Routines are great, but spontaneity appeals to me as well.
Small talk is not my thing, but mainly because the world is too interesting to talk about the weather.

So if this speaks to you, I would love to have a conversation with you. I only ask a few things: that you’re young at heart, curious, and still open to exploration. And it certainly wouldn’t hurt if you were a tennis player with a sense of humor!

Please share our videos with your friends. Subscribe to our  You Tube Channel!  Thanks.

More Videos to Watch:

Dating Older Men

Listen to your friends

Getting Played – Trust your Gut

Dating a Younger Guy

Guys are comfortable with conflict

Also, join us on Twitter: @TGPBuzz (We’re somewhat new there, so spread the word to your friends as well. Thanks!)

Finally: We’re looking for Women Writers! Visit our Women Speak page to find out how to submit your work.

Script of Video:

Online dating began long before computers. It began at a time when the printed word ruled the media landscape, where a cloud meant rain and the net was a tool used to catch things. But back then online dating was called: The Personal Ads.

The personals were mostly found in an isolated back section of the newspaper clearly demarcated from the paper’s more journalistic endeavors. The personals WERE used by a few brave souls, but were mostly fodder for humorous discussion with friends at a bar, wondering aloud who these brave souls were, and why they were desperate enough to respond to a personal ad, or even worse, post one themselves.

However, the concept of the personal ad was solid, and with the advent of the net, Online Dating was created to replace the awkward experience of the personals. Today Online dating is universally accepted, used by millions of people worldwide, all hoping to find what they are looking for: Some sort of connection. However, not everyone has a successful experience with online dating.

Some blame surely belongs to the actual institution. And there will always be stalkers and predators manipulating and taking advantage of the system for their own gains. But part of the problem clearly lies with the normal every day user.

Too many people quickly throw together a profile that doesn’t help their cause. The pictures aren’t flattering, the description is flat, and the whole composite is poorly constructed. The key is to differentiate yourself. This is your dating resume. This is your one chance to pique someone’s interest. You gotta really go for it!

Here are some tips to help you set up a profile that will attract those paramours you so desire.

Step 1: It’s all about the photo. And by photo we mean just you. Not you with your dog, or pet gerbil, or even your kids. Your profile picture needs to give people a sense of you. For the guys out there, it’s not a bad idea to shave and put on a clean shirt. No hats, and definitely not sunglasses. For the ladies, find a picture that represents you in a flattering light. Sexy is okay, but even better, something demure that suggests that what’s underneath is sexy. And please be honest! Don’t put up a photo of you twenty years ago. Remember, the goal is to move beyond the screen to an actual Face-to-Face. At some point you will meet this other person. And if you look different from your online picture that clearly sends a message that you can’t be trusted. Not a great start.

One final note: Make sure the picture is actually you. 

Step 2: Write a fun, unique description. This is very difficult for most people. It’s hard to say great things about yourself without sounding conceited. But this is the second most important piece of the profile.

Here are some tips for writing a great description:

Stay Positive- Don’t say all things you don’t want about a person. Describe what you DO want in a partner. (Check out our videos on How to write a great profile. Part 2 and Part 3 of our Online Dating series.)

Create a Personality- Be you. Be unique. We want to know about you specifically. Don’t make it generic.

Make it fun- No one wants to date a stiff.

Be inviting- This means, just make it easy for someone to want to contact you. Don’t scare them away!

Make it Short -Be as economical as you can. We want to know about you quickly. If we like what we read we’ll want the longer version later!

Don’t give more info than is needed. If you don’t really care about religion or politics, then don’t list your religion or political party. Remember, it’s all about being inviting, so why limit your potential suitors?

Check out Part 2 and 3 of our online dating series. Coming this week!

Please share our videos with your friends. Subscribe to our  You Tube Channel!  Thanks.

More Videos to Watch:

Also watch Online Dating Part 2 and Part 3

Dating Older Men

Listen to your friends

Getting Played – Trust your Gut

Dating a Younger Guy

Guys are comfortable with conflict

Also, join us on Twitter: @TGPBuzz (We’re somewhat new there, so spread the word to your friends as well. Thanks!)

Finally: We’re looking for Women Writers! Visit our Women Speak page to find out how to submit your work.

Script of Video:

Online dating began long before computers. It began at a time when the printed word ruled the media landscape, where a cloud meant rain and the net was a tool used to catch things. But back then online dating was called: The Personal Ads.

The personals were mostly found in an isolated back section of the newspaper clearly demarcated from the paper’s more journalistic endeavors. The personals WERE used by a few brave souls, but were mostly fodder for humorous discussion with friends at a bar, wondering aloud who these brave souls were, and why they were desperate enough to respond to a personal ad, or even worse, post one themselves.

However, the concept of the personal ad was solid, and with the advent of the net, Online Dating was created to replace the awkward experience of the personals. Today Online dating is universally accepted, used by millions of people worldwide, all hoping to find what they are looking for: Some sort of connection. However, not everyone has a successful experience with online dating.

Some blame surely belongs to the actual institution. And there will always be stalkers and predators manipulating and taking advantage of the system for their own gains. But part of the problem clearly lies with the normal every day user.

Too many people quickly throw together a profile that doesn’t help their cause. The pictures aren’t flattering, the description is flat, and the whole composite is poorly constructed. The key is to differentiate yourself. This is your dating resume. This is your one chance to pique someone’s interest. You gotta really go for it!

Here are some tips to help you set up a profile that will attract those paramours you so desire.

Step 1: It’s all about the photo. And by photo we mean just you. Not you with your dog, or pet gerbil, or even your kids. Your profile picture needs to give people a sense of you. For the guys out there, it’s not a bad idea to shave and put on a clean shirt. No hats, and definitely not sunglasses. For the ladies, find a picture that represents you in a flattering light. Sexy is okay, but even better, something demure that suggests that what’s underneath is sexy. And please be honest! Don’t put up a photo of you twenty years ago. Remember, the goal is to move beyond the screen to an actual Face-to-Face. At some point you will meet this other person. And if you look different from your online picture that clearly sends a message that you can’t be trusted. Not a great start.

One final note: Make sure the picture is actually you. 

Step 2: Write a fun, unique description. This is very difficult for most people. It’s hard to say great things about yourself without sounding conceited. But this is the second most important piece of the profile.

Here are some tips for writing a great description: 

Stay Positive- Don’t say all things you don’t want about a person. Describe what you DO want in a partner. (Check out our videos on How to write a great profile. Part 2 and Part 3 of our Online Dating series.)

Create a Personality- Be you. Be unique. We want to know about you specifically. Don’t make it generic.

Make it fun- No one wants to date a stiff.

Be inviting- This means, just make it easy for someone to want to contact you. Don’t scare them away!

Make it Short -Be as economical as you can. We want to know about you quickly. If we like what we read we’ll want the longer version later!

Don’t give more info than is needed. If you don’t really care about religion or politics, then don’t list your religion or political party. Remember, it’s all about being inviting, so why limit your potential suitors?

Check out Part 2 and 3 of our online dating series. Coming this week!

From: THE GUYS

People have been coming to our site with questions, and sadly we haven’t had all the answers. Here are some recent examples.

How to take a sophomore to the Prom?

How to talk to a guy after a fight?

How to paralyze someone? (Huh? This still makes us laugh and cringe!)

So to help out our readers, we decided to start our own How To series. Let’s begin.

The art of conversation has taken a nosedive in recent years. Why? We’re out of practice. Technology has had a lot to do with this, since we use our devices to do much of the talking for us. But really the blame lies with us, because we’ve stopped valuing face-to-face communication.

At an early age we learn how to converse from our parents. We observe their body language as they discuss household chores. We watch them handle sensitive topics like who’s night is it to be up with the baby. We see how they argue, and hopefully resolve problems. It’s a complicated and delicate dance for sure, and difficult to learn. But it takes a lot of time and practice. Hopefully this guide will help you become aware of the finer points of good conversation, and get you started on your way to becoming an artful conversationalist, or maybe just a little less boring.

Let’s pretend you’re meeting someone new or you’re on a first date. Here are ten things that might help you keep it interesting, or at least yawn free.

1. Greet the person with a smile. Getting off to the right start is key to having a good conversation. Smiling breaks the ice and lets the person know you’re happy to see them, or at least eager to get to know them. Otherwise they start to think, “Do I have a furry woodland creature coming out of my nose? And I don’t even have a tissue.”

2. Keep eye contact. And that doesn’t mean bore a hole through their head. You don’t want to scare them right away. Save that for later when you tell them about your latest stint in rehab. This means, look at them when they’re speaking, or for that matter, when you’re speaking. And please don’t constantly glance at the big flat screen TV or the cute waiter or waitress. Those are big No Nos!

3. Ask them questions that are relevant. Whether you care about the topic being discussed or not is irrelevant, because the primary goal is to get to know the person better. If they’re discussing Yoga passionately ask them to tell you their morning routine, or what is their favorite pose, or what would be something good for a beginner to try. Don’t ask them to show you Downward-Facing Dog, or what they look like in their outfit, or if all Yoga people use Patchouli, or how does the mat feel on their soft skin. That’s creepy and pretty much a conversation stopper!

4. Don’t redirect. We like to talk about ourselves. And there is nothing wrong with that. However, flipping the conversation to give yourself a platform for pontificating about your Iron Man training or your Dog Grooming business won’t win you a new fan. If you feel it’s relevant to interject a personal experience about the topic at hand that is completely appropriate, but then please redirect back to them. Sorry did I say, don’t redirect?

5. Read their body language. This isn’t always easy, so here are some tips. If the person has tears dripping down their face, it’s best to stop talking about your fascinating Cigar or Porcelain Figurine collections. If they keep looking at their water glass like it should be in the Louvre, it’s best you stop talking about your last partner’s annoying habit of picking the calluses off their feet. And if your friend starts to look at the waiter or waitresses or the big screen TV, even without SOUND, it’s best to ask them a relevant question quickly.

6. Listen. No, for real. Listen!! This doesn’t mean, listen for the first opening to inject some clever quip. This means listen, and show them you are interested in what they’re saying by looking at them(#2), and asking them relevant questions(#3). Listening is an art form in itself. It takes practice. So practice on your buddies, or on your boss, but don’t go out on dates to practice listening, unless you like going on a lot of first dates.

7. Show that you’re interested. This goes along with listening. One way to show interest in what they are talking about is to use their name when you ask them a question. “Jane/Jon, I heard that apples bring on physical reactions during allergy season. Is that true?” Of course they’d better be talking about some sort of homeopathic remedy to ask a question like that. (Remember, keep it relevant!) Using a person’s name is very effective and will immediately tell the person you are focused only on them. Some other obvious things. Eye contact(#2). And body language(#5). Don’t slouch, glance or pick anything. Sit upright and maybe even lean forward a bit and nod your head. One Word of Caution. You are not auditioning for a play. Don’t overact or overuse any of these things, or you’ll win the “Worst Impression of a Conversationalist” at the next SAG awards.

8. Don’t share too much. By all means tell the person about yourself. They want to get to know you too. But don’t get too personal. You don’t have to share about those funny spots that cover your neck beneath your turtleneck, or the time you and some friends woke up naked inside the science museum, or the fact that you tend to yell out “mommy” when you sleep. These are things best left to mention after you’re married.

9. Show you have a sense of humor. It helps if you are funny, but that doesn’t mean telling jokes. This is not a comedy act and your friend is not your audience. You can certainly try to inject funny remarks or a few humorous stories into the conversation. It’s even OK to gently tease your friend. Teasing is a form of flirting and can be very attractive, but please be subtle. Don’t make fun of any physical features, or their family or friends. Another note of caution. Don’t try to be funny if you’re not. You can always show you know how to have a good time by laughing with them. Which brings us to our last point.

10. Be yourself. Be genuine. Don’t change the way you do things just to make a good impression. If you’re not one to talk a lot, then listen a ton and ask questions. If you’re used to dominating conversations, then get your friend involved. The best you can do is show the person you are interested and let them know who you are.

Conclusion: Avoid the yawn. This is your goal for the entire night. Once your new friend yawns the night’s over. It doesn’t matter if they say they’re tired, or they had a  long day at work. Those are all nice ways of saying, “Check please.”

So relax and have a good time. You might be surprised at how stimulating a good conversation can be.

If not you can always go home and play with your ipad.

Do you have any funny, scary, horrible or awesome conversations you would like to share with everyone?

Or do you have any more advice on how to have a conversation?