Written by Sai, aka “One of the Guys”
I made a 86 year old woman cry. Well she didn’t actually cry, her lip just started quivering. It was not an experience I’d like to repeat. Please let me explain.
I made a commitment to myself recently to pursue some things I’ve been wanting to pursue. So in order to do that, I needed to give some other things up. I needed to clear my schedule, which in turn, I hoped would clear my head. I decided that I needed to quit private teaching.
(In my other life I’m a musician.)
When I set out to be a musician, teaching was not part of the plan. I do like it and I’m good at-so they tell me-but that wasn’t my goal. In fact I had just left a classroom teaching gig and the cozy confines of suburbia, combined with a consistent salary, to take on the hard road of a starving artist. I was single at the time, and determined.
Of course what transpired soon after my departure set me veering off course. Within a month of making the decision, I met my wife to be, and six months later we were living together, on track to be engaged and then married. And then ironically enough, I needed an income to pay my share of the bills. Enter teaching Round Two.
So I became a private piano instructor, and later a drum instructor, and started making good money at it. I did this for close to 14 years, until just this summer when I said enough is enough. I really care for my students and like all of them a lot, but I still have my own dreams. And when I’m busy helping everyone else fulfill there’s I find there’s no time left for me. Of course, the real story is, I have three of my own now that I’m busy-and happily-giving to. I just don’t have the energy for more. And then there’s my wife and our relationship to nurture, and of course me.
So fast forward to the fateful moment. Here’s how it went down.
“Flore, I have some bad news.”
She looks scared.
“It looks like I’ll only be teaching through the fall. After that I won’t be able to come to your house anymore.”
Silence.
“What?” she says quietly.
“I said I won’t be able to teach you anymore.”
Her lip starts quivering. My heart goes, “OH NO, SHIT!!!!” And then I backpedal faster than you’ve ever seen anyone EVER backpedal.
“Did I say I couldn’t teach you anymore? I think you didn’t hear me right. I mean I can’t come quite as often. Actually I didn’t even mean that. In fact you know, I mean, since your lessons are during the day, it shouldn’t be a problem at all. Really, just forget I ever said anything. I was just kidding. Seriously, my kids are driving me crazy and I’m a little out of mind these days. And you know how it is. You have kids. (Me trying a diversion, while her lip still quivers.) And well, how many grand kids did you say you had??” (And it goes on as I try to convince her it was all a joke. And as I try to get out of there as fast as I can.)
I get home and my wife says, “So how did the Flore thing go?”
I said, “Terribly”
She said, “Well, what did you expect. She’s an old woman. She can’t drive. She doesn’t do much. Her kids live all over the country. And then her piano teacher says he can’t teach her anymore.”
I said, “Jeez, you make me sound like a monster. I already feel like crap about it. And anyway, it looks like I’ll be teaching her forever. I just didn’t have the heart to go through with it.”
She said, “I didn’t think you would.”
And so that’s how I made an octogenarian’s lip quiver. I don’t recommend it.
