Our world is changing fast, especially from a technological standpoint. The ability to communicate with anyone around the world has become as easy as turning on the faucet. Cell phones, email, skype and social networking sites all provide access and make the world essentially a smaller place.

So is this a good thing? We say yes for the most part, because with a larger market there are more opportunities. However, this also comes with new forms of abuse.

Privacy has taken a nose dive. It’s easy to find anyone on the planet. And if you ever had dreams of getting off the grid, you were born a century too late.

But people have been ignoring personal boundaries for a long time. These are people who either aren’t aware of personal space or ignore it to serve their own purposes. We call these people,

PERSONAL SPACE INVADERS.

They come in many forms. Some are completely harmless and others are actually quite dangerous.

Let’s take a look at these people in all their mutations.

Close Talkers: Maybe coined by the great Seinfeld episode….These are the people who cozy up to you during a conversation and spray you with saliva bombs and other debris. They are usually completely harmless and are actually quite chummy. But if you know you’re going to encounter one, plan accordingly. Bring an extra change of clothes and a face mask.

Touchers: These are people who touch to accentuate their point. It’s a way to bond. Now in some cases this is sweet and nice, but often it can get to be too much. How do you know when it’s too much? By the bruises on your arms or back the next day. But honestly they do mean well in general, unless they are really a Groper in disguise. You’ll know this when they apologize for accidentally missing your shoulder.

Big Huggers: They are in the Touchers family, but they actually have an agenda beyond bonding. Generally the rule of hugging is similar to the rule of hand shaking. It should be somewhat equal. We hate it when some GUY tries to show how manly he is by squeezing the crap out of our hand. C’mon MAN! Firm is one thing, but this is not a contest. These Big Huggers often get a thrill out of feeling another body close to them, so they squeeze and squeeze. Once again they are generally harmless, but best avoided. And they are everywhere!

Phone Solicitors: These people drove the wagons west and carved the way for the rest of the technological abusers. They call us any time of day and night with no respect for privacy or family time. Now sure, it’s their job, but at some point they might need to ask themselves, “Is it really OK to call on a Sunday night at 9pm?” There is such a thing as Karma….we think?
The general populace has been able to combat them with a variety of measures including the answering machine and caller ID. But it’s still maddening that they even make the attempt. And when you ask them to put you on the DO NOT CALL list, they are polite and sweet, but then their colleague calls you the next day feigning innocence. MORAL: Don’t answer your phone.

Spammers: We’ve been inundated with Spammers lately. We’re not sure what they are actually gaining from their actions, since we delete them as fast as they post. But they are so annoying, like persistent flies or mosquitoes, feeding off our blood.
If anyone has any advice on what Captcha to use, etc. please let us know.
Otherwise we wish we could set up a new sort of Octagon, where the Phone Solicitors and the Spammers could fight to the death. And the rest would be fed to the Stalkers.

Stalkers: These people range from creepy to dangerous and every level in between. Who are they? Possibly spurned lovers, crazies, people who are angry with their life or jealous of someone else’s life. Either way, they use every means possible to unsettle their target. It’s like a home invasion that goes on in perpetuity.
These people are savvy and smart too, using sites like Facebook to assume the identity of their target and then infiltrate his/her world. (Yes, this just happened to “Another One of The Guys.”)
They are very difficult to get rid of.

So, what to do about all this?

All of this technology allows businesses and yes even Bloggers to expand their brand and reach a wider audience, but reaching a wider audience can also mean more problems. But that shouldn’t stop any of us. We can’t let these people slow us down! So keep your radar up and don’t let them get to you.

How do you combat these Personal Space Invaders?

THE GUYS

Guys just can’t get a break these days. If it’s not one thing it’s another. Bad parenting, infidelity, you name it. But the final knock out punch was when I heard that Tiger Woods had now joined the club of cheaters. Not Tiger! Please say it aint’ so!

This news rocked my world. Not that I follow celebrities and athletes and their various extra-curricular activities too much. But Tiger….Well, he’s Tiger. I’ve always rooted for him in all aspects of his life, on and off the course. He’s always been so unique, so talented, so cool.

But now what? The GUYS and I have been working hard to promote men as emotionally stable, self-aware  beings. This news hardly helps our cause. I mean, Tiger??!!! I keep thinking it’s a bad joke, but apparently it’s far from that.

Tiger’s famous, with all the money in the world, a beautiful wife and two healthy children. And he’s the best golfer in the world, which is what he’s probably envied the most for. So how can he have any possible motivation to cheat? How does this even enter his psyche?

But let’s ask the bigger question, “Why do men cheat in general?”

Chris Rock famously said, “Men are only as faithful as their opportunities.” I get the joke, but I’m not so sure it really applies. Men cheat because they choose to cheat and because something is missing from their lives that they aren’t aware of. It’s not men who cheat, it’s individual men.

But it doesn’t hurt to at least look at the list that is most often cited for why guys cheat:

Guys crave variety.
Guys want more excitement, which includes chasing skirts.
Guys want to do things sexually that their wives don’t want to do.
Guys want to experience the “First” sensation again. First kiss. Love at first sight. First everything.
Guys get bored easily.

Sure those may all true, but mainly they’re just excuses. And I’ve talked to enough women to know that they want these things too.

The real reason is, these guys have never learned how to live in the real world. Instead, they live in a fantasy world of their own creation. And what a fun place to live.

Imagine a place where you can have love and security. You can have your ego stroked 24/7.  You get unconditional love. Lots of money and toys. Sex anytime you want with anyone you choose.  AND you have no responsibilities except making yourself happy. Wow, what a play land that is!!!!

However, therein lies the problem. These cheaters are not happy. They spend their lives searching, chasing, looking, only to find dead end after dead end. For them it’s all about the future, not THE NOW. But happiness comes from within. The rest is all about choice. What choices do I want to make? And how do my choices impact the people in my life?

Tiger is left to deal with the aftermath of his bad choices. I feel sorry for him, but I feel more sorry for his wife and kids. What a mess!!!! But this cheating thing isn’t a guy problem it’s a people problem. It’s individuals who haven’t evolved past an egocentric view of the world. And our society is feeding into that more and more. Everyone’s looking for instant gratification, instant success, instant fame. But it’s all just a facade. A cover up.

It’s OK to feel sad. It’s OK to feel down or depressed. I’m not talking clinically, I just mean we constantly try to cover up uncomfortable emotions with stimuli, instead of exploring where the emotions are coming from or just experiencing them. Every emotion is part of the human experience and that in itself is wonderful.

I’m still rooting for Tiger. I’m still rooting for him to wake up and take a hard look at himself. Maybe it’s too late to fix the mess, but it’s not too late to make changes going forward.

And as far as the rest of us GUYS, we all have to make individual choices and stop making excuses for ourselves and our buddies. So ladies, don’t give up on us.

Because what would you do without us??   (OK, you don’t have to answer that)

“ONE of THE GUYS”

So we were over at Momversation. Yes, we admit it. We like to know what the Moms are up to. It keeps us current.

Anyway, they were talking about kids of Reality TV and how awful it is. And while we totally agree that the exploitation of kids for money is appalling, we also need to admit to some complicity. 

In the old days "movie stars" were revered and looked up to. But it was simple and pretty straight-forward. Stars were on the big screen or the little screen and that is where they stayed. Today, we not only want them on the big and small screens, we want a piece of their lives too. And if we can't get theirs we want ours. Sure we've all dreamed of stardom at one point or another, but with reality TV and other outlets we all have a chance. Really??

We call it the Vicious Cycle. And it's out of control. Here's how it works.

1. People dream of fame. But they don't want to actually work at something to be good enough to get famous. So they think up ways of becoming famous. One way is to objectify themselves or act completely idiotic for laughs. Another way is to exploit their resources. Translation: Use their kids!

2. Enter reality shows. These shows look for people to open their lives for the rest of the world to see.

3. And boy do we watch!! The numbers get higher and higher each year. We are curious! This is an extreme form of rubber necking from the comfort of our own homes. Pretty cool!

4. Soon other networks get in the act and they produce shows that just TALK about the reality stars.
That's an interesting concept. Shows about other TV shows! Weird.

5. And we watch those too!

6. Now the magazines get in the act too. The paparazzi get paid big bucks to follow these reality TV stars around. Now everyone's making money hand over fist. Sweet!

7. And we buy those too! They're so fun to read. We call them our vacation treats. Along with a candy bar and a few other goodies, we gobble these up to enjoy on the road. OK, we'll admit, they're pretty good while doing our morning "duty."

8. So now everyone's making money and the reality kids start to feel entitled. They start behaving worse than they already did before they got on the show. And they're being encouraged by their parents. Nice!!

9. So now more networks, get in the act and more and more people are being recruited to do more extreme shows and more invasive shows.

10. Finally these kids grow up and continue to live their dream. They get their own reality shows and the vicious cycle begins again.

That is if they don't end up in jail, rehab or worse….dead!

WOW! we feel like we're missing something here??!!

THE GUYS

ps. Are you part of the vicious cycle? How do we change this? Or do we care?

"In" and "out" need each other to exist. That is a truism that will never be OUT!

In jazz music, when a player takes it "out" that player does away with the chord structure and plays free from constraint. If done right it's considered very hip. But "out" is only hip if "in" has been stated clearly. 

Hmmm….let's sum this up and even take it one step further. So without a contrasting "in" there would be no "out." In essence "out" would actually become "in."

OK, are you confused? We are!

Opposites need one another. Light is characterized as light because heavy exists. Down by Up. Large by Small. The same theory could also apply to politics. Without Democrats would the Republican party exist and vice versa?

The thing that's the most confusing is that the "In Crowd" changes more rapidly these days than our kids' birthday lists. Just a year ago, the "In Crowd" in Washington changed hands. This reversal set off a huge restructuring and repositioning within that community, but it also forced ordinary folks like us…. AND YOU…. to choose sides. And boy have we! The country is more polarized than we've ever seen it. Tolerance is clearly OUT, replaced by the new IN: smugness, arrogance and entitlement. It's scary!

But the problem with this paradigm, is that nothing ever gets done. WHY?  Because "in and out" are constantly vying for power and constantly changing. As soon as one becomes "in" the "out" does  everything it can to undermine the "in." Then things reverse and it happens again. An endless cycle that will be reborn again and again like the Hindu world of reincarnation. Enlightenment is only attained by breaking the cycle. Change is only made if we come together on SOMETHING!!!

So what can we agree on? 

Hmm….Not health care. Hmmm……Not global warming.  Hmm….not the death penalty. Hmm…not the war, or illegal immigrants, or food sources, or green living….or……anything????

And sure, disagreement and constructive discussions are all good. This country was formed on sweat and debate. Blah, blah…..to use our teenage neighbor's lingo…….Yeah, whatever dude!

So things kind of suck right now. Yeah, we said it. We're not sure what to make of it all. We don't even know where we stand because for ANY topic that comes to mind we can find enough information supporting both sides to fill our entire computer's hard drive! As we said earlier this week, our brains are frying with overload.

So we guess what it comes down to is, we all need to make decisions for ourselves. How do we do that?

Here are a few first steps we're taking:

Don't believe everything you hear on TV or read in the newspapers or magazines? Figure out what agenda is going on? Is there a hidden message? Who's actually delivering the message?

Same with information on the internet. Is someone making money off you thinking a certain way? What do they have to gain off you agreeing with them? Or disagreeing with them?

In some ways actually having an opinion solely your own is close to impossible. We are all influenced by the world around us. Our family, friends and co-workers. The ads on TV, billboards, radio, internet. The bumper stickers on cars. The paper. Magazines. You name it, it's in our face all of the time.

So while you're out and about, be careful what you take in. Corruption is on every street corner, ball field, bus stop and shopping mall.

If your brain hasn't completely short circuited yet, repeat this mantra: Our minds are our own.

Let's start acting like it!!!

Quiz:

Is it better being "in" on the way "out?" Or being "out" on the way "in?"

Hope you leave a comment OR answer!! We would love a huge outpouring of input.

Thanks,

THE GUYS

Our lives are slowly spiraling out of control. We have somehow entered a new realm, an alternate world if you will. How we ended up down the rabbit hole is a mystery to us. But we'd like to wake up from our dream soon.

Here's how are lives are actually playing out. Somehow it seems oddly familiar but we can't quite put our fingers on it. Experience the slow burn of our brains as we try to keep track of more and more people, places, things and events!

Our world in Five Chapters and how we try to cope!

Chapter 1. Remembering all of our friends!? Including spouses AND kids!

As we're walking to our kid's back to school night, we realize we forgot to review the class lists, especially names of parents. Of course the first person we see is someone we know we're supposed to know. We elbow our wives: "Honey, what's her name again?" "How do we know her?" "What are the names of her kids?" "Do our kids play together?" It's impossible to keep track of everyone. We hardly even remember our own kids' birthdays.

(What's that burning smell? That's our brains beginning to smoke!)

2. Quick status updates.

That very same night in school. "Who were we just talking to?"  "Was that the woman that just got divorced?" "What was her creepy husband's name? The one that cheated on her with the Reading Specialist?" "What's the name of the new Reading Specialist?"

(Our head is now fully engulfed in smoke with trickles of fire coming out of our ears!)

3.Event reminders.

Every morning we wake to the sounds of: "Don't forget to call your mother back." "The kids need a lunch." "Tonight is PTO meeting." "So and so called you." "Let's compare calendars before you make plans." "Remember the kids have games every night this week." "Where is your gig tonight?"

(Our brain is beginning to melt. Our frontal cortex is starting to sag!)

4. Old Flames and friends.

Some of THE GUYS live in the same home town they grew up in. This is never good if you're trying to avoid the past. The local coffee shop, movie theater or ball field are dangerous venues to have to relive those old high school days. You know, the ones you've worked many years at forgetting. Just the other day we ran into an old crush, reminding us about unrequited love. Please get away from us you vampire! And now we have to actually remember her kids too. Crap.

(Can you say, Total Meltdown. Our brain now resembles a charred steak, cooked long and hard to avoid any unwanted disease.)

5. New Friends.

Now we have all these new friends. Mostly inherited due to common social obligations and kids. Some have actually become true friends, but most will slowly pass through our lives in a few months or few years. New friends come with new responsibilities. New things to save in the data files. Keeping on top of this vast number of people has put us over the top!

(You see those flakes floating in the air? Those are the final ashes of our completely seared brains!)

But we're all good. Because we can easily replace our brain with a good old fashioned computer. And we'll transfer all our saved files, including new friends, event reminders, status updates, etc. onto one site so that we can keep it all straight.

Wait a second??!!! Isn't that called Facebook?

It is difficult to think without a brain. But how could we forget?

And one more good thing about being controlled by a computer chip, is that we can finally sit back and let something else do all our thinking for us!

Ahhhhh………

THE "MACHINES" GUYS

We first heard the term hermaphrodite in elementary school. We have no idea how our source actually found out about this term, but he was more than happy to share his new found knowledge with us. Adding to the "collective vocabulary of insults" was a badge of honor back then and our source was catapulted from the bottom rank to the top in one day. Of course his status only lasted for a day, but the word itself stuck.

We found ourselves using the word to make fun of this person or that person. Or our siblings. It was especially useful on our siblings!! Did we have any idea what the word meant? We only knew the basics, because anytime it was discussed we just giggled. We thought it was SOOOO funny! But we were kids. We still thought we would get somewhere by putting someone else down. Yes, we've learned a bit since then. But let's not digress.

Hermaphrodites have been in the news lately. It started with Lady Gaga's questionable status a month ago and now Caster Semenya, the runner from S. Africa. But this term has been in and out of the news for a while. Do you remember the rumors about Jamie Lee Curtis? People wondered about her as well. THE GUYS don't quite get that one, but we do get that gossip sells, and this type of controversy is good for talk shows, newspapers, TV and yes, BLOGS!

So let's be clear. A hermaphrodite is a person born with both male and female sex organs. A hermaphrodite is NOT a she-male, cross dresser, transvestite, or a transsexual person. But how do we categorize this type of person? Where does someone who blurs the lines of gender actually fit? The government of S. Africa is adamant that the runner, Semenya is a she! But her hormones and testosterone levels really put her more in the category of a man. Wow, this is confusing!! What characteristic makes a person a she or he? Is it sex organs, hormone levels or just their word or belief?

When a person is born with both sex organs, one of the organs is often underdeveloped. It's possible parents could make the difficult decision of surgically removing the underdeveloped organ, or they could just wait and allow their son or daughter to make the decision when they're older. But what if they just don't want to make that decision. Is there something wrong with having both? Would that be classified as a third gender?

If you've ever seen Tru Blood, the vampire series on TV, you get a sense of how confusing this could be. In that series, Vampires have actually assimilated into mainstream society. They are actually a totally separate species living among humans, drinking blood from a bottle and generally minding their own business. Talk about confusing!! People don't know what to make of them, except that they don't trust them. However there are those that seek them out BECAUSE they are different and unique.

Hermaphrodites are far from a totally separate species. They are just part of a movement of people that are challenging the definitions of gender and sexuality. More and more college aged kids are experimenting with bisexuality. People are taking hormones to help them become their "true" selves. Some people like to cross dress in private, and some like to dress up and actually become the opposite gender for an entire evening. (Remember the Crying Game?) And many "normal" people also seek these people out BECAUSE they are different. They are looking for a totally unique experience.

So where do THE GUYS stand on all of this? We think the world is too large a place to live small. This fringe population may be a bit "out there" but they certainly aren't boring. And they give us "normal" people something to think about and talk about. (See the news everyday.) And don't we all need a dose of different every once a while, just to mix things up a bit? Keep us on our toes?

So we've come a long way from the giggles we exuded every time we used the word hermaphrodite. But as a society we've still got a long way to go. Race, religion and sexual orientation are still divisive in this country and in the world and it doesn't look like that's changing too much anytime soon. But for us, we want life to be interesting. So bring on the hermaphrodites and anyone else of any unusual bent. It's all good to us.

But what do we know, we're just plain old GUYS.

What are your opinions?
Where is our society at in terms of sexual orientation?
Do you see any changes on the horizon?
And how do you define a he or she? 

THE GUYS

(Read our friend Badgal for her take on Caster Semenya)

An extra special serious note from THE GUYS:

Friends,

We tried extra hard to be as PC as we could when writing this post on "Being PC." If you know what we're saying??!!

We have more questions now than when we started writing on this topic. So we're putting the ball in your court. We want to hear your opinions, experiences and insights. Just keep in mind that we're all trying to figure this out and make this world work for everyone. 

We're serious…..Seriously!

Thanks so much.
THE GUYS

The Guy’s Horizon: The Future of Being PC (Politically
Correct)

These days we live in a PC world. A world where being
"Politically Correct" is vital for survival in the public eye. But has it gone
too far?

Here’s where we are now:

Stewardesses are now called Flight Attendants.

Janitors changed to Custodians to Maintenance Technicians

The Dump is now The Transfer Station.

And of course we have the untouchable subjects of
religion and race and the ever-changing terminology associated with each.

THE GUYS are completely aware that being sensitive to differences
is vital in this ever-changing world. The world IS growing smaller as
technology pulls us closer together. And of course the more populated the Earth
becomes, the more accepting and tolerant we need to become. THE GUYS believe in this and understand that being
Politically Correct is a way to make sense of this diverse world.

But having said that, where does it end? People haven’t
changed that dramatically unfortunately. They might use the correct terminology
(or not) but have their opinions changed? Does this changing terminology
actually alter people’s perceptions or harden them? Once people have left the
workplace or the shopping mall or the sports field, are they going home to
talk, speak and think like they always have? Are we respecting differences or are we becoming afraid to point out differences? Are differences a bad thing? Are we all fearful of being reprimanded in public?

Another reality of our PC world is the message we're giving to our kids. We’re telling them that the world is at their fingertips. We're saying they’ll be able to do anything they want. In some ways we're telling them they can be good at everything. But that's just not true unfortunately. So are we actually helping them by giving them this message? Are we preparing them for life's difficult trials? Don't misinterpret what we’re saying here. Parents need to
provide love and support and encouragement to their children. The parents among
us are all about providing every possible resource to allow our kids to grow
and flourish. But there are certain realities and limitations. Not all of us
were able to become everything we wanted to be. Our children won’t be able to
either. We hope they will find something they love. We hope they will commit themselves to a cause or to their family. We hope they will work hard at whatever they choose. But are we creating an illusory world that sets our kids up for failure?

So where is this all leading? Are we headed towards a
completely homogeneous society where everyone is afraid to speak his or her
mind? Is it so wrong to say someone is better than someone else at say baseball or math or dance or writing? Are we breeding more fear: fear of being judged for speaking what could
be the truth?  How DO we change people’s
perceptions? And how do we balance being direct with our children, but also not
dashing their dreams?

One thing we know that does need to happen more is face-to-face
contact. Face time with our kids. Face time for business. Settling a playground conflict ON the playground face-to-face. People
respond to other people. It’s quite simple. They change when they realize they
don’t have anything to fear from people who are different. They grow when they
realize they can learn from someone who is not like them. And often they make new friends after meeting someone face-to-face.  

So maybe we need to continue this trend and go out and greet
our neighbors. We need to smile at the people on the bus or the train. And we
need to get to know the eccentric GUY who owns the shop down the street. We
need to "Grass Roots" it because we’re stuck with each other in this
ever-changing world. Sure people say stupid things. But if we actually KNEW
them, we might judge their intent rather than what they actually said. And then
hopefully that would lead to a dialogue that helped both parties come to a
better understanding of one another. And ultimately lead to the kind of world we're trying to create.

Avoiding conflict seems to be the trend in our world. This is partly caused by everyone trying to be PC. And partly because conflict is no fun!!

Too much conflict leads to more conflict. This is war.

Too little conflict leads to pretending it's all good. This is dysfunction.

But a little conflict can  bring people closer together and help them understand one another. This is healthy. This is growth. 

So we say, bring it on. We’re ready. Let’s start a dialogue. What are your thoughts?

How are you feeling about the world and where we’re headed?

And if you're going to say something, at least say it to our Face!

THE GUYS

Tomorrow Afternoon: Question/Answer: I'm dating TWO GUYS at once. Please advise.

Yes, you've come to the correct BLOG. And yes, we do have a serious side.

This post is dedicated to all the parents and kids of the world. We decided to switch things up a bit and move THE GUY'S HORIZON up a day. Our HOT or NOT? series will be on Thursday

If you'd like to read  Part 1 of: The Future of Kids(The Past)  scroll down to last Thursday's post.

And now Part 2

Part 2: The Present and Future of Kids

Last week we reminisced about our childhoods. Now we examine
the present and look to the future.

Today’s world couldn’t be more different. The days of
unabashed freedom are over. Yes, kids play in neighborhoods across the country,
but only in eye shot of a watchful parent. We are all too aware of the
dangers of the world and we hover over our kids protectively. This is not
necessarily a bad thing. It is what it is. The world is dangerous. But it was
when we were young too. Back then our parents had no clue, but not because they
were clueless. They just didn’t have the access we have today. Now every crime
in every small town is on TV or on the internet within hours of it happening.

So we've fought back and combated the dangers of the
world with what we call, scheduling. We reason that if our kids are busy
doing baseball, gymnastics, karate, art, music, dance, math, reading, Spanish,
etc. they won’t have time to get into trouble… OR run into trouble. Makes sense
to us. But another reason for over scheduling is competition. Trying to
keep up with the Jones’s is a reality that IS all too real.

Here’s a conversation reverberating outside many schools and on
soccer sidelines.

”Hey Parent A, what’s up for the summer?”

“Hey Parent B. Well not much. The kids will be off doing the
usual.  David and Tiffany are doing
soccer and lacrosse camp this summer. And Aaron will be at music camp plus he’s
doing a special math program. And then all of the kids will meet with their tutor to get a jump on next year.”

We won’t bore you with the rest of the gory details. But
parent B leaves feeling like the worst kind of parent imaginable. And sure
enough, a few days later his kids are signed up too. That is if they
can even afford to, which is another big problem in itself that THE GUYS won’t
be addressing today. (Too large a topic for this post) But all of this scheduling starts to feel like a business with our kids being the product. Gain skills. Make contacts. Promote. Advertise. Goal reached.

The problem is that offering so many "opportunities" to our kids, we are actually depriving them of many of the joys of being children.

That brings us to the future. We imagine kids
will soon have skills programmed into them as babies, like in the movie, "The Matrix." They might as well just skip
being a toddler, a kid, a pre-teen and a teen. Forget growing pains. Forget learning
how to tie a shoe, or speaking a first word, or seeing snow for the first time.
Or riding a bike. Or having a first crush. Forget that. Let’s just get them
prepared for the real world. College scholarships. Wallstreet. The faced paced
world of being an adult and parent! Because we are a fast forward nation. We
want things NOW! And that’s what we’re doing to our kids. They will be missing what
essentially makes them interesting: the experiences and growing pains of
childhood.

But also just as important… We, as parents are going to miss it too, if we don’t take a step back soon. We’ll miss the joys of
childhood. The ups and downs of life as a young person. The victories and
defeats that make parenting so difficult, yet so gratifying and precious.

Because one of the greatest things about being a parent, is
getting to be a kid all over again.

So let’s take our hand off fast forward and try to enjoy the
moment.

Oops…..Gotta run….we’re late for soccer.

THE GUYS

The Guy’s Horizon: The Future of Kids(Part One: Remembering)

When we were kids things were different. Waking up each
summer day, we had no idea what we might be doing, other than possibly getting
into trouble. After breakfast, we’d hightail it into the neighborhood to see
what was on the agenda for the day. These activities consisted of: Rock Throwing, Capture the Flag, Kickball, Bike Riding(w/out helmets of course), Exploring the Woods, Crossing Creaks, Buying Comics and Candy, and basically
doing whatever we could think of. We’d go back home only when the hunger pangs
were too much to stand.

Upon arriving for lunch we’d often be accompanied by a few
kids from the neighborhood. It was kind of an unspoken agreement among the
moms, that whomever showed up hungry, got fed. It was pretty easy to feed an
army of kids back then. Sandwiches, chips and Koolaid were standards on the menu.
Sometimes we’d get apple slices or carrots, but we didn’t visit those houses
often. We always knew which houses kept Ho Hos, Twinkies, Bologna, Doritos and
other junk food, and we’d magically appear around lunch or snack time. 

Things were easy. Free spirited. After lunch we’d be gone
til around dusk, give or take an hour or so. Our parents would just yell out
the back door for us to come home. If we didn’t hear them another parent would,
and that parent would just yell too. It was like a long distance telephone game
ringing throughout the neighborhood. And somehow it worked.

However, our life as a kid wasn’t without a lot of growing
pains.  The laws of the neighborhood
were clear. The biggest, oldest and strongest kids made the rules. They  were The Captains and picked first. (The
teams were NEVER fair.) They were also the referees, which of course made things
even more lopsided. They also decided when the game was over. Other kids could
voice their opinions, but the rules still didn’t change. Every day the “bosses”
would pick their favorite kid for the day, similar to favored nation status.
This kid would join the big kids for the day and get to do be a boss too. The
problem was, once the kid got a taste of what it was like to be in charge, it
was hard to come back to the other side. But eventually as the big kids moved
on, we all got to be bosses. And so we elbowed and punched and argued and
negotiated our way through childhood. And we learned how to survive.

Next week:
Part Two: The Present and Future

Tomorrow: Random thought of the week? ..and…. The Weekend.

We love social networking as much as the next GUY. So here's our take on where it's been and where it's going. Enjoy!

(To our Readers: If you enjoy this article or any other post on this BLOG, we ask that you Stumble it, Digg it,and post it on any other social site. Funny, that we should say that right before this article!)

The Guy's Horizon: The Future of the Friend

In the new millennium, the term “Friend” has become loosely
defined. Sure we have our traditional friends that we’ve known since high
school or college. Most of us consider these friends to be our core group.
These are the people we might confide in or ask for help if we ever needed
something. We also have our work friends, whom we enjoy at an occasional BBQ or
Happy Hour with. And then we have our friends who we might see once a week
through various activities like tennis team, book club or the occasional adult
class.

But what about all these other friends?

If you’re not hooked into the social networking scene in some way, you’ve
probably  been locked away in a room for
the last 10 yrs. eating jello pudding and watching “I Love Lucy” reruns. Otherwise
you belong to one of the many, many sites that have infiltrated the web. Sites
like My Space, Facebook dominate, but you also have Plaxo, LinkedIn, Stumble
Upon, SecondLife, Propeller, Mixx, Reddit, etc. The list goes on and on. And
new ones are popping up weekly.

Let’s start with My Space. When The Guys heard about this,
it had already had been chugging along for a year or so. It was initially a way
for young people to communicate with other young people w/out their parents
knowing about it. But it soon morphed into a place we all could go for
friendship. Yes, THE GUYS were late to the gate, but we caught up quickly and
joined the competition. Because that’s exactly what it is. A competition for
friends!  Who has the most, who has the
hottest, who is friends with the most celebrities, rock stars and even
politicians? Sure, if you’re at the top of the food chain it’s a great way to
get your message across. Top Dog says, I’ll be performing here, or speaking
there, and all the little minions get the message including us. Somehow we feel
important BECAUSE we’re "friends” with these people. Somehow we feel part of
their world because their picture is on our page. And even better? We can make
them our top friends!! We have proof because it says right on our page: TOP
FRIENDS. Wow, this is amazing!! Of course, they have no idea who we
might be, because they’re not even on My Space. They’ve hired someone to set
the page up and collect friends. So let’s sum this up. We’re part of a
collection, like stamps or comic books. And this entire collection is friends with
someone who isn’t even there. Weird?! But brilliant!!

Now let’s examine Facebook. Facebook seems to be the new My
Space. But in essence it can never be like My Space because it has it’s own
purpose and design. Facebook was first utilized by the over thirty crowd to
help them find people they once knew from high school and college. It was all
about reconnecting with people from the past, often old flames or crushes. And
THE GUYS have enjoyed this as well. There’s no better feeling than getting a
friend request from a girl who spurned us, only to find out she's now bald,
with less teeth than kids. We know that’s mean, but don’t pretend you don’t
know what WE mean! Sure there have been a ton of sweet moments, like finding an
old friend we’ve lost touch with, or having someone we didn’t know that well
reach out to us.

But normally this is how it goes when reconnecting with an old friend:

1^st Contact: Friend request with message. “HEY!
How have you been? It’s been forever? What are you up to?”

Reply: Friend accepts with message: “Wow, long time. Great
to hear from you! It’s been forever. What’s up? I’ve been, blah, blah, blah…….”

2^nd Contact: “That is so great. I’ve been, blah,
blah, blah….If you’re ever in  (fill in
city) We should get together.”

Reply: “Uh….sure. Let’s keep in touch” (Now this person gets
a bit uneasy. They say to themselves, “It was fun to reconnect, but do I really
want this person as a real friend.”

3^rd Contact: “Sounds good. I’ll be in touch.
Hopefully we’ll get together at some point soon.”

Reply:  There isn’t
one. Only uncomfortable silence.

This could go the other way too, where the initiator gets
uncomfortable. We just want to illustrate an interaction that is a very big
part of Facebook and social networking in general.  What we really want from our social networking sites is to keep
them just that. We call this the three F’s: Fun, flirting, and Fantasy. We’re
not really looking to add the fourth F in there: Friends. We just want to be
part of a bigger world. We want to be part of our own reality show, without
having to get embarrassed on TV. What could be better?

We could go on and on, but you get the picture. So THE GUYS are wondering
what’s in store for the future of friends and friendship?

We can imagine a virtual world where all our friends on
every social networking site will be connected. Where our friends on My Space
will be able to connect with our friends on Facebook. So if we have a problem
with a friend on Facebook, we can say one of our friends on My Space will beat
them up if they don’t stop posting those unflattering pictures of us on their
bulletin board. And by the time it ends, everyone will be friends with
everyone. And we mean everyone. No more six degrees of separation. There will
be no separation!!

So if you already are friends with everyone, what’s left to
do? What will happen?

Something akin to an online plague. Except everyone will be
wiped out. Erased. No memory, no identification, no anything. We’ll start
completely over with a clean slate.

And after that we’ll start a new social networking site. It
will be called, pick up the phone and call an old friend.

Someone who actually knows you.

THE GUYS

Please let us know what you think? We take comments, suggestions and donations!

GUEST BLOGGER REVEALED TOMORROW! IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO GUESS WHICH TOPIC THE GUYS DIDN'T WRITE. SCROLL DOWN TO YESTERDAY'S POST, HOT or NOT? LEAVE US A COMMENT WITH YOUR GUESS. OR EMAIL US. (Also tomorrow: Our next installment of questions and answers.)

The Guy’s Horizon

This is where we look to the future and ponder what might be
in store for us. It could be this weekend, next month, a year from now or
twenty years down the road. Hopefully we'll still be around. (Knock on wood.)

Times are tough for many of us. But somehow certain people
are able to navigate through the littered landscape and thrive in this
recession(if you’re an optimist)….. in this depression(if you’re not). And some
companies are also using the down turn to launch and re-launch innovative new products.

Take Amazon for example. A guy leaves his high-powered job
on the east coast to work for an online bookstore on the west coast. He leaves
his corporate office to work in a cramped office space with few amenities.
This was Amazon at its origin. Now many years later the guys from Amazon are
trying to alter the course of how we read, just as Apple altered the course of
how we listen to music. And they seem to be doing it.

When the Kindle was first introduced we scoffed! Who’s going
to pay $400 for a device that only has one function? We couldn’t imagine who
would want to curl up in front of a fire, with a nice cup of tea and a Kindle.
Of course we still can’t understand why millions of people bought a Pet Rock
either.

But when a product alters the future, it also alters the
very essence of how it is consumed. For example, the days of owning
expensive home stereos are long gone. Yes, some of THE GUYS are audiophiles.
They talk about these speakers and that turntable. We pretend to listen, but we
don’t really understand or care. The ipod changed all that. (No, we haven’t
forgotten the Walkman, but it’s just not the same. Think
Suzanne Somers and ummm…..what’s her name?) Anyway, nowadays most people like
us, listen to music on the go: running, walking, working out, or in their car.
The actual quality of music has diminished with the MP3, but the quantity has
expanded ten fold. So our expectations have now changed. We expect to be able
access any music in seconds, anywhere on the planet. But we don’t care if it
was recorded in somebody’s basement. All we care about is getting it quickly
and cheaply. And who even has time to sit around and actually listen to music
wholly by itself? It’s been relegated to the background.

So the guys from Amazon thought, "If Apple can do it with
music why can’t we do it  with reading? Let us brainstorm.”  And they did. As they
held hands in a Quaker moment of silence, some were compelled to shout out
ideas. These were some of the obscenities that came out.

“The days of books are slowly headed for extinction.”

“Students today no longer take notes. They get their assignments at a place called
Moodle.”

“Plagiarism is par for the course with the enormous reach of
the web.”

“We must help people multi-task even more.”

“Let us create the Kindle.” 

And they rejoiced.

And now we say to ourselves, have they finally done it? Will the Kindle be our
great savior? The tool that will help us read even faster, so we can cram more and more stuff
into our day? Will it finally let us skim over all those detailed descriptions,
or the methodical developing of characters, or the slow and sensual unfolding
of the plot? Hooray for the Kindle!!! And we rejoiced. 

Or did we?

Yes, THE GUYS think the Kindle is quite keen. And it seems
it’s here to stay. But let’s not forget that faster is not always better. It’s
time once again, to savor the simple pleasures of life.

Like ice cream, even when you couldn't possibly eat another bite of dinner.

Or early morning quiet.

Or a great conversation that flows like improv.

Or watching your kids grow up.

Or dark chocolate, a great workout. Sex. (Yes we said it.)

Oh of course, let’s not be too hasty. We have one more thing to savor.

Curling up by the fire with a cup of sweet tea and a
great page-turner.

One that we can actually TURN the pages.

THE GUYS

PS. Shhhh…………..we can’t wait to download our first
book. That is, as soon as our Kindle arrives this weekend.