Hello Guys,

I am not sure how old any of you are but I’m just wondering if older men (50+) would still want/appreciate casual sex?  Or is it only for the young guys? :-)

And how would I know if the “older guy” I’m having sex with is getting attached?  Two of them have said the words “I love you” even when it was understood (by circumstances or by actual agreement) that it’s NSA (No-strings-attached)?

Would like to know how older men think. I’m in my 30′s, by the way.

Thanks!

KZ

Dear KZ,

Thanks for your question. We have a wide age range here so this question is not out of our jurisdiction. We’ve also conducted informal surveys across the age spectrum, so we’re very comfortable responding to your inquiry.

Special Note: Since people are paying much more attention to fitness and health these days, someone in their 50s in 2012 looks a lot different than they did, say 30 years ago; although to a woman in her 30s like yourself, we understand that a guy in his 50s seems significantly older. (We just wanted to put that out there.)

________________________

Guys in their 50s are just as much into NSA Sex (No-Strings-Attached Sex) as a guy in his 30s, in fact possibly more. But it depends on his station in life, and what he’s looking for. We don’t know the particular guys you’re seeing, but we’ll break it down into categories for you, so you can figure that part out for yourself.

“Recently” divorced (less than 10 years): This guy wants to live life on his own terms. He’s given many good years to his relationship and family, and he’s now enjoying his freedom, although we hope not shirking his responsibilities as a father. He’s not looking for another serious relationship. He’s looking to make up for lost time. This means bedding as many women as he can, or at least dating as many different women as he can. He wants to know he’s still attractive, and he wants to get this message from not just one woman, but many. This guy would be very happy in a No-Strings-Attached relationship with a younger woman. In some ways, the perfect scenario for him.

Divorced for a while (Over 10 years): This guy has enjoyed his “recently divorced” status and now may be looking to find another long-term partner. It’s not clear whether or not he wants to get married again, but he definitely is on the prowl to find someone to “take care” of him. If you’re dating one of these guys, this could be why you’re hearing “I love you.” In essence, he’s looking for an attractive younger woman with no kids of her own to grow old with.

The Consummate Bachelor: This guy’s been happily bouncing from partner to partner his whole life, and he has no plans of stopping. He’s definitely a strong candidate for No-Strings-Attached Sex. (But be aware: He’s had a lot of sex with a lot of different partners. Use protection until you really get to know him.)

The Unhappy Bachelor: This guy is looking for perfection. He’s been looking his whole life. No woman seems to be able to live up to his expectations because he’s trying to fill a void that can’t be filled externally. But it is possible, by his mid-50s, that he’s done enough “work” that he’s finally ready to commit to someone. A young, attractive woman would certainly make sense, partly, because this guy hasn’t given up hope on having a family.

Yes, there might be a few more categories, but this basically covers it. Can you find your guys in one of these categories? We hope this helps. Do you have any follow-up questions? Ask away.

Watch our video on, “Dating older Men” 

THE GUYS

ps. We hope you’ll share our site with all of your friends. Follow us on Twitter: @TGPBuzz. Also, take a moment to help a fellow reader. Please VOTE on our Ask our Audience page.

If you’d like to donate to THE GUYS—use PayPal button on any page on our site—no donation is too small or large. Thanks!