Comments on: Question/Answer:Making Up

By: Jude Simas

Jude Simas — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 02:40:07 +0000

My girl and me lived together almost three years then the break up came without warning. That’s what I was up to first and I admit there was more frustration inside me than warm feelings left. It took me a while and lots of talks to one friend until I was ready to analyze what might have gone wrong far before the final split. Now I see clearly that I just was focused on meand wsn’t aware enough about her view. You know, it’s not about being some kind of softie but at least I learned that if you love a girl and want to be together with her you have to open yourself for her and yes – this means less freedom maybe.

By: Michaella Nickopolous

Michaella Nickopolous — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 23:56:07 +0000

I thought that this would be bad relationship advice, I was completely wrong, i applaud you for this information.

By: admin

admin — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 16:25:10 +0000

@Date Girl……yes, sex is often one of the main things couples argue about. Or at least have tension about. Money and kids would be the other two. See what you have to look forward to? Just kidding……..well, not totally.

By: Date Girl

Date Girl — Fri, 26 Feb 2010 16:11:20 +0000

I love hearing the Guys view on stuff like this! I’m definitely not in the mood right after a disagreement. But I will say, if you can meet halfway it really does help. I think its so true that this is a huge difference between guys and gals, and honestly sometimes it could be the original reason for the fight! I think the guys are right. Talk about it when you’re happy and out somewhere-not in the bedroom or mid fight. Thanks again Guys for always telling the other side. It helps me understand where you men are coming from!

By: admin

admin — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 12:00:17 +0000

@Lola……….we like your positive spin.

@Dorothy……yes, it’s always nice to have some lively comments. As per your other point…..we would prefer you didn’t fake it. Hmm……on second thought………

By: admin

admin — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 11:58:32 +0000

@Jen………You’re right. Guys don’t generally want to talk about the relationship, but sometimes it’s necessary. We’re just saying, it’s better to wait to address some issues until after things have been resolved…..at least resolved on the surface.
And actually, we just like the relationship talk to be a bit more concise. But we’re not necessarily opposed to it.

By: Lola

Lola — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 02:43:40 +0000

This is interesting. And makes a lot of sense. I wonder if it matters all that much for things to be resolved before affection can take place.

If men show affection more comfortably in a physical sense then it would make sense he needs reassurance too, just as women do. After all, we can both understand each other while working our disagreements out so being able to reassure each other during the process (as in, before the disagreement is resolved) might help the relationship become even better.

Food for thought, thanks!

By: Dorothy Stahlnecker

Dorothy Stahlnecker — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 01:08:00 +0000

The comments were as good as the post…

Great thoughts sex is always tough to manage…thus women are taught to just do it…therefore fake it…..

Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com

By: Jen

Jen — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 23:22:26 +0000

You have explained well one of the major differences between men and women. Guys don’t need to talk things to death like women do so if they want to get to the make up sex they need to suck it up and apologize.

Your advice to wait until things are calm to talk to her guy is kinda funny. I could hear all the men groaning as I read this. No guy wants to talk about the relationship, ever. Good times or during a fight. They don’t want to and who can blame them.

By: admin

admin — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 22:02:43 +0000

@RE…….we agree, by the time it gets to the break up it’s over. See ya later! But we didn’t think she implied they were actually breaking up, just fighting, disagreeing and trying to figure things out.

By: RE - A BadGalSays

RE - A BadGalSays — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 21:36:38 +0000

HeyGuys,,, really do you think that women want anything more than to see men finally “look up” and recognize.. yeah, recognize.

by the time it gets to the break up most women have decided that make up sex is such a waste of time, unless its him lickin you like a stamp; and then you makin like a letter – and leavin his ass waitin to arrive.

Special Delivery Baby, it’s Reality.

By: Gogo

Gogo — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 19:27:05 +0000

Great advice GUYS! Always good to hear your perspective!

By: admin

admin — Wed, 24 Feb 2010 03:44:34 +0000

@E…….funny….and smart!

@Ashley…….that’s pretty much the sentiment of most women, as we said. You just say with a bit more zeal!

@Kelly……..who’s gonna advocate for us if we don’t!?? We are able to listen god dammit.

@Melinda…….communication is the key to having a solid relationship. It sounds like you two have figured that out.

@Meleah Rebecca…….You’re welcome. Glad we could help, even just a little.

@Kelly……..we’re trying, that’s all we can say!

By: E

Wed, 24 Feb 2010 01:57:32 +0000

The GUYS make a good point. But I think the problem is not that he wants to have make up sex, but when he wants to. You should be having the make up sex after the problem is resolved, not before (unless before helps you get your way —– hey I’m just saying lol )

I agree with the GUYS try addressing this problem when things are going good not when your in the midst of an argument. Explain yourself and try not to accuse him of anything. Just spell it out so he understands! Good luck!

By: Ashley

Ashley — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 22:51:47 +0000

GUYS- She said that he want to screw her BEFORE things are resolved!!! I know exactly how she feels! My hubby better not even THINK about touching me until we get that shit figured out!

I don’t give a FUCK if that’s how HE wants to ‘make up’. Well, I want him to apologize and say he understands how I feel, or whatever the situation calls for. Even then I might not feel like fucking him!

I’ll hand him the lube, and tell him to go fuck himself. Until he can be sensitive to MY feelings, then he doesn’t need to get laid.

By: Kelly

Kelly — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 21:50:45 +0000

That was an excellent post with the correct advice. Me do respond more physically. And we are taught, early on, to play rough. And we are quicker when it comes to getting ready for a Date Night, too. Don’t hurt me, gals!

You’re also right in saying the media (news, tv shows, commercials) portrays men, basically, as being ogres. No offense to ogres. According to the media and the LifeTime Channel, all men are abusers, cheaters and/or feeble-minded.

I’m glad you pointed out that we do listen, care and so forth. I think this society needs to be reminded that women are not any more morally superior than men are. It’s equal.

Take care, dudes

By: Melinda

Melinda — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 19:10:54 +0000

This is such a big way that men and women are different. When my husband and I have a fight, afterward, he wants the physical connection–that really helps him get over the fight, mentally, I think. For me, though, it is quite different. I need the emotional reconnection first before I get even begin to get into the physical. I realized how profound these differences were during one of our first make-ups after a fight. The key is communicating on both people’s ends–I told him I was feeling the way I was–he did the same and we were able to build a great bridge and when we make up after fights, we combine both our needs.

Melinda

By: meleah rebeccah

meleah rebeccah — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 16:45:14 +0000

Wow! Truly THANK YOU for posting this. This really helped me understand the way my man thinks and why sometimes he responds sexually post-fighting!

By: Kelly

Kelly — Tue, 23 Feb 2010 16:37:29 +0000

Thanks for pointing this out—so true! I know as a woman that I like to speak about/ deal with emotions and for guys it’s easier to connect while being physical. It makes for some misunderstandings, but I like the fact that a guy wants to reach out to me to make things right even when I’M not ready.