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Some recent questions:
I have been in a relationship for the past one year. Everything is going fine. His friends and my friends know about us. But he always introduces me as a friend in front of his colleagues or acquaintances. He never accepts my relationship requests on Facebook. He never takes me along with his friends, even if their wives or girlfriends are going. His friends don’t like me. I know that. He does take me out, but always only the two of us.
I feel as if I am not getting the acknowledgement in front of the world and that scares me. I know he loves me. He says he loves me and that’s enough for me. He doesn’t flirt with other girls.
What do I do? Am I overreacting?
Thanks for your question.
You say your situation is enough for you (the fact that he tells you he loves you), but obviously it must be bothering you, otherwise it’s unlikely you would have contacted us to ask our opinion. And honestly, we don’t think you’re overreacting. We see some serious red flags here.
We’ve said this before, and we’ll say it now: When a guy is totally in love with a woman, he wants to tell the world about this new person in his life. He’s not necessarily looking for approval from his loved ones (although that’s nice), but he’s more showing that he approves of you, enough to show you off, and tell the world he’s proud to have you as a partner. Your guy is not doing this and that is a concern for us. And for you.
It’s always nice when people get along great with their partner’s family and friends. When this happens it only further affirms the new connection. But that doesn’t mean approval from family and friends is a determining factor. A lot of people have great relationships with people that their families can’t stand. The problem with your situation is that your guy has let the opinions of his friends affect his behavior. This shows two things: He either is easily influenced, which we consider to be a character flaw in this situation, or he isn’t really in love with you the way you think he is.
The only way to resolve this situation is to start talking to him about how you feel. Pretending that everything is fine, when it isn’t, is not going to help strengthen your relationship. You need to have open lines of communication so you can both be honest with each other. Hopefully, he’ll understand where you’re coming from and try to change some of his behavior. If he doesn’t acknowledge your feelings, and tells you you’re overreacting, that should only strengthen your notion that something is indeed wrong.
ps. Let your friends know about us.