I'm in my early twenties and I'm dating two guys right now. I haven't committed to either one of them and I've been very open about the fact that I just want to date right now. However, neither knows about the other. Do I need to tell them about each other? How open do I really need to be? I feel I've been very honest about where I'm at in my life, but I'm getting different opinions from my friends.
Hope you can give me some insight.
Miranda, New Jersey
It sounds like you've been very honest with your GUYS. You have every right to just date and enjoy it. So by all means continue!
However…and this is a big however….if you plan on actually getting serious with one of these GUYS, or if you even think it's a possibility you might want to be serious with one of them, the more honest you are now, the better it will be for the relationship in the future.
So you really need to evaluate each GUY and at some point tell them what's going on. GUYS appreciate being told the "deal" even if it's hard to hear. (Women do too!) Honesty and good communication are the key to any successful relationship.
And finally, if you're having sex with both GUYS, this is where it can get a bit tricky. You're still not obligated to say anything, but you can be sure we'd want to know. And of course if you're enjoying two partners, your GUYS might also be enjoying several partners. In which case a conversation would definitely be worth having. Contrary to public opinion, we're not proponents of multiple partners in general. Too much "stuff" going around. But it's still really your own business until you've made a commitment to one of them.
And of course the obvious conclusion is, if either GUY starts asking you questions or tries to press you to commit, you absolutely need to be straight with them. If they want to date you exclusively and you're not ready to do that, you'll probably need to move on.
(Here's a secret: If you wan to get rid of them both, casually suggest that the three of you get together for a night. And then watch 'em run!!)
Special Note: If they don't run, you're dating the wrong GUYS! If you catch our drift.
Miranda: Don't let our serious talk scare you. Have fun!!