I'm Dating Two GUYS

Hey Guys,
I'm in my early twenties and I'm dating two guys right now. I haven't committed to either one of them and I've been very open about the fact that I just want to date right now. However, neither knows about the other. Do I need to tell them about each other? How open do I really need to be? I feel I've been very honest about where I'm at in my life, but I'm getting different opinions from my friends.

Hope you can give me some insight.

Miranda, New Jersey

Dear Miranda,
It  sounds like you've been very honest with your GUYS. You have every right to just date and enjoy it. So by all means continue!

However…and this is a big however….if you plan on actually getting serious with one of these GUYS, or if you even think it's a possibility you might want to be serious with one of them, the more honest you are now, the better it will be for the relationship in the future.

So you really need to evaluate each GUY and at some point tell them what's going on. GUYS appreciate being told the "deal" even if it's hard to hear. (Women do too!) Honesty and good communication are the key to any successful relationship.

And finally, if you're having sex with both GUYS, this is where it can get a bit tricky. You're still not obligated to say anything, but you can be sure we'd want to know. And of course if you're enjoying two partners, your GUYS might also be enjoying several partners. In which case a conversation would definitely be worth having. Contrary to public opinion, we're not proponents of multiple partners in general. Too much "stuff" going around. But it's still really your own business until you've made a commitment to one of them.

And of course the obvious conclusion is, if either GUY starts asking you questions or tries to press you to commit, you absolutely need to be straight with them. If they want to date you exclusively and you're not ready to do that, you'll probably need to move on.

(Here's a secret: If you wan to get rid of them both, casually suggest that the three of you get together for a night. And then watch 'em run!!) 

Special Note: If they don't run, you're dating the wrong GUYS! If you catch our drift.

Miranda: Don't let our serious talk scare you. Have fun!!


7 Comments on I'm Dating Two GUYS

  1. I agree that if you want to be serious with one of them, you need to be honest. Or if you’re directly asked, “Are you seeing anyone else?” you need to be honest and say yes.
    Ultimately, you have to think of how you’d want to be treated, where you in their shoes.

  2. Love your blog! It’s fun! As for Miranda, you’re only young once, but she needs to remember it’s the decisions we make when we are young that shapes who we are when we are older. I like your answer to her. :o)

  3. Great answer and yes I like your blog as well these are always tough questions to respond too.
    Dorothy from grammology

  4. If it’s just dating you want, it’s alright not to tell them. But I have to agree with The Guys if you have plans of getting serious with one of them, honesty is still the best policy. :)
    Thanks for visiting my blog. Happy weekend.!

  5. seriously guys – you know this chica knows tht she is asking for trouble. thats why she is asking for VALIDATION.
    skankiness should not be validated.
    ms girl should get to the clinic; then to the condom store; then she should sit down with her own reality check. she knows she’s cutting her corners, but she wants a man to validate her self denegration. awwwwww how skanky..
    sorry but the truth stanks.
    and of course only a BadGal would say it.

  6. Well we could only assume the best from her because we don’t know her personally…..
    Our take is, if these GUYS are willing, what can we say? We already said it.
    Thanks for your “don’t pull any punches” comment. We appreciate it.

  7. If honestly means deceiving both men, than sure your honest.
    Would you want to know if a guy you were dating had someone on the side?
    If you would, perhaps actually telling the truth would be the right thing to do.
    I would never have done something like this. It’s truly dishonest and slutty. Oh, sorry. That only if your sleeping with both of them. 😉

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