Dear Guys,

I recently dated a guy who I liked quite a lot. We went out for about six weeks and seemed to have a great time together. He said he was very attracted to me, but he was nervous about having sex with me. He said his life was too overwhelming with the current divorce proceedings under way and so he didn't want to make things more confusing. I was fine with that. Like I said, he was a great guy. But it became clear to me that the relationship wasn't going to go any further than a friendship. He pretty much said he wanted to just be friends. And I actually think he was being serious and valued our friendship a lot. We did… AND do…. have a great time together.

I'd like to have him as a friend, but the problem is I'm still attracted to him. Will this work? What do THE GUYS think?

Anonymous

Dear A,

Our first reaction is to say, forget him. Unless the friendship you have with him is so unique you can't replace it with anyone else, this situation is just going to make you frustrated and angry. Don't you have enough friends already?

Sure, two people can be friends after breaking up but it's not that common. Some of the GUYS have managed to do this, but it's not the easiest road to take, especially if one party is hoping for something more. And that's the key for you. This guy has made it pretty clear he just wants to be friends. And when a guy says that believe us he means it, otherwise he's doing everything he can to get you in bed. So if you think you can change his mind, you're going to be disappointed. Although, stranger things have happened. But it's very unlikely.

Women seem better at evaluating relationships and compartmentalizing each piece. So a woman might be more apt to try to salvage a great friendship even if the guy is the one that broke up with her. (Ladies please let us know if we're way off base here! We're complimenting you, but don't let us get out of line.) But GUYS are different. If a woman breaks up with a GUY he might pretend to be a friend, but only because he's still secretly hoping for sex. But generally he's OUTTA there once it's over!

So you decide. Is the friendship worth the possible pain? And ask yourself this. If he starts seeing someone else, are you going to feel like being a supportive friend then?

Good luck.

THE GUYS