Is he my boyfriend or am I just a booty call?

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Also, check out our latest podcast Episode 33: Dating questions, dentist fees, pet peeves.  The Guy’s Perspective Podcast.

Here are the six relationship questions we answered on on our latest podcast:

Sarah is beginning to have a change of heart. Now that her man wants to introduce her to his family, she’s unsure how she feels about it.

Dan wonders whether or not he’s being played by the single mom he has recently started dating.

Miss Lady’s boyfriend turned down a trip to Vegas with her, but after his guy friends ask him he’s all in. Now what?

Jenny’s man cheated on her with seven to ten different women, but she still loves him. Why would he do that?

Emily has an admirer, at least that’s what her loving friends tell her. Are they right she wonders?

Riya is confused about a guy from work. They date; he decides it’s not going to work; but then he keeps texting even after she’s moved on. She is curious why he still is trying to be “friends.”

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TGP Episode 33: Dating questions, dentist fees, pet peeves

This week’s questions:

Jealousy: Friends with the opposite sex

Break up confusion; will he come back?

Cultural Differences Part 2: Am I being used?

Here are last week’s questions:

Is he stubborn or just not that into me?

The Gym Guy: Is he interested?

Sex after child

Is he playing me?

Dating and Deployment: Should I start a relationship?

Dear Guys,

I started talking to this guy about four months ago. We started having sex and then just recently he started calling himself my boyfriend. He knows that’s what I’ve wanted from the beginning.

Would this guy go to the trouble to come here and spend time with me talking, before and after sex, putting his head on my chest and tickling me, and stuff like that if I’m just a booty call?

We are both divorced and both of us have kids, so going out on dates is hard. I’m worried that I may just be a stand by, or only a booty call?

Rae

Dear Rae,

Thanks for writing to us.

It seems like he’s your boyfriend, but we can understand why you’re unsure.

The signs that say he is your bother would be: He enjoys coming over; you spend quality time together; he wants to interact with you beyond just having sex; you care for him, and he cares for you. But that doesn’t mean he is actually your boyfriend, even if he says he is.

We think you need to gather some more information about him.

What’s he doing when he’s not with you? We’re not saying you should be suspicious, but if he is your boyfriend, it seems that you should know a little more about him. What does he do for work? Who are his friends? Have you met them? Have you met his family? How about his kids? Have you met them? Does he coach their games? Is he involved in their lives? All of these things will provide you with more answers.

Just because he rubs your tummy and tickles you before and after sex doesn’t make him your boyfriend. A guy will do almost anything for sex. What makes him your boyfriend is your emotional connection with him, and the bond you form on a day to day basis. What else? How about the two of you working on good communication and establishing trust. Those are the pieces that need to be in place so you don’t feel so unsure about where you stand with him. Rae, it’s almost like you’re eating the wild berries before you’ve figured out if they’re poisonous or not.

So talk to him. Tell him about yourself. Learn about him. Start to get to know each other beyond just the physical realm.

And even though it’s hard, we recommend you go out on some real dates with him. Maybe once every two weeks to start, even if it’s just for a few hours. It could be during the day or at night. Whenever you can manage to get a babysitter. That will be a nice change from your normal routine. And we guarantee you’ll feel much less like a booty call if you start to put some of these pieces in place.

Good luck,

THE GUYS

5 Comments on Is he my boyfriend or am I just a booty call?

  1. I met this guy a year ago and i really like him but he never calls me or answer my calls,he never calls me or text, at first we would spend time together(but we always have sex) no dates or anything.. but now he does delievery and hes always working but when he does make time for me all we do is have sex and he treats me so perfect, the only time he finds to spend with me is just sex… its crazy how many times i tell him just give me a phone call a day but he cant even do that. Im think im just his booty call.

  2. @ladie…..Thanks for your question/comment. If you’d like us to answer your question use the form on the Ask the Guys page. Thanks.

  3. DD,i am divorced i met this man through a mutual friend.He asked me out for dinner which i went had a wonderful time have been dating him for 3 months.Sex came into play a month ago didn’t rush it and he respected me for that.But he spends time with me when he doesn’t have his son.Which i fully understand and respect his devotion to his son.But he has yet to have me meet his son or any family or friends.He has been willing to meet my adult children and friends.So am i just paranoid or am i just a booty call to him.How long is to long to wait for him to make the move to meet his son or friends and family which he talks to me and shares his feelings about them to me.im being patient and do not express my concerns i fell he will let me in when he feels it is right,but am i being stupid and naive?

  4. I started seeing a guy 2 months ago. We hooked up right away and I intended it to be just for fun, but it turns out that I actually like this guy a lot. We’ve spent lots of time together, met each others friends and we’ve gone to dates such as dinner, breakfasts, drinks. In terms of how much time we spend together and the fact that we’ve celebrated our birthdays together, one would think we’re dating. However, he never talks to me when I am not around. He does not call or text and it’s usually me texting him something random just to hear from him. He displays barely any public affection and I don’t try to force it because it seems he doesn’t want that. It seems to be a weird mix of boyfriend-type behavior and hook-up type behavior. When I go to see him, we usually spend up to 3 days straight together with me spending nights and us hanging out with our friends or by ourselves. I am assuming he isn’t seeing anyone but I can’t be sure. We never had a talk about what we are. I am now at a point where I would like to be more clear. His longest relationship was just a couple months longer than he’s been seeing me and I found that out through his friend. If I had to put a label on us I would not know what to say and that’s why i need some advice.

  5. @Lilly….please contact us using the form at the top of the Ask the Guys page. Thanks.

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