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This Week’s Questions:
The Gym Guy: Is he interested?
Last week’s questions:
Four years and counting: What’s he thinking?
Questions to come:
Confusion?
Am I being played?
Is he playing me?
Dear Guys,
I met this guy in like August or September and he still occasionally texts me to hang out-not everyday, but like a couple times in a week. But then he won’t text me for a while.
He does a lot of things that confuse me a bit, but recently he does this thing where he will text me to hang out and I’ll say, “Yeah.” And then after my response he won’t text me back. What is the point of that? He’s done that two or three times, and the most recent time I turned him down cause I was working. Another time I just didn’t see his text, so I responded a few days later when I saw it.
Sooo is it possible he thinks I’m playing him and he’s doing it in return? Because I do have a history of being flaky with him, but not recently.
Kate
Dear Kate,
Thanks for writing to us.
We have a question for you. Why do you two only text with this guy? It seems to us that you need to do less texting and more actual talking.
Yes, some of his actions are confusing, but to us, the way both of you are conducting yourselves in this “relationship” seems confusing. Texting in general often leads to misunderstanding. Please talk to him by phone or in person and square some things away.
And Kate, you need to decide if you’re really into this guy, or just into him right now. It’s not like your getting a whole lot from him. If you really are into him start talking to him about how you feel, and see if you can get some information from him about where he stands. If you’re not really that into him, find someone who is going to be more reliable. Reliability is an important quality to have in a partner. It’s a first cousin of trust.
Good luck,
THE GUYS
@Bitty....Sounds like he's trying to protect his "territory." Yes, guys will do this even if they don't actually want the girl they're doing it to. (Want in the sense of a relationship.) He's also being a horny perv as you say. Time to move on. And really, stop letting him put his hands on you. If he's not serious about you, he doesn't get to have the "benefits" that come with being in a committed relationship. Move on.
Ok. So when I changed schools for some reason a lot of guys seem to like me. I went out with one of the guys there for about 3 months, then he broke up with me. Its been like 5 or 6 months since we've broke up and I think I still like him. He confuses me though. We still talk and everything but when other guys are around he is always touching me. He does things like putting his hand on my a**. Does he still like me or he just being a horny perv? I don't have much guy experience.
@Scorpio....It's hard to say what's going on. But if he's been with you for five years it's probably because he cares for you.
Ive been seeing this guy for 5 years. after our 1st date we have been together spending nearly every night together. when we were talking he said ive been after you for 20 yrs. he told me everything about me. well we got into a really bad arguement and now we stay at seperate places. hes the only man i had sex with in 5 yrs. i truly love him. he got pissed because i told him his kids were using him. on his phone there are a few names the rest is numbers. he likes to leave on the weekends by himself when hes done he comes back to me. now he has turned his phone off told me quit calling and texting was there ever any love on his part he never said i love you.
@Joanne....Are you still seeing him? Meaning, do the two of you go on dates still, or is it just texting now?
Hi i'm dating this guy for a couple of months and he suddenly stopped texting for no reason. He used to text me at least once a day and it just stopped. Now he only texts once out of the blue moon to say hi. Do you think he may only want to be friends
@Rosetta......Any guy calling late at night only is not interested in much more than sex. Or like you said, he sees you as a safety, a back-burner. We wouldn't spend a lot more time on this. How long has this been going on? How long have you been in touch with him?
Guy only calls at night and ignores my IMs and emails sent during the day. Why does he even bother? We haven't even set up any dates? Should I just ignore the calls? I've tried telling him not to call so late at night and I still see him trolling the dating site that we started talking on, too. Is it safe to say I'm the back burner or something? I'm not down with that. He keeps telling me he's interested but I am wondering what is really going on.
Thanks Rori again for posting this. I think I have actually decided not to meet this guy, as some of the things he says just don't seem right. The term I would want to use is "creeper."
@Kelly....thanks for your question. Please submit on our Ask the Guys page. That's where we field questions. Take care.
Hi, 10months ago i broke off a 6 year engagement because things just werent right anymore and I was having feelings for someone else. Since then that "someone else" has become my bestfriend and we have sex alot. My feelings for him are so strong and he knows that but tells me alot that he needs to get his life in line before he can have a girlfriend. He calls/texts me almost everyday, and I see him EVERYDAY. He sleeps over sometimes and recently he told me I needed to stop having feelings for him because he was "seeing someone" and he doesnt like when people ask him if we are dating yet we go everywhere together. I am 95% sure he is NOT seeing someone because we still spend every night together and also 95% sure he has not had sex with anyone but me since the first time we hooked up back in MARCH. I know he is an emotional unstable guy and very insecure but I just dont know what to do. I enjoy hanging out with him and we dont even have sex everytime he sleeps over, and since he told me to stop having feelings for him like 2 months ago the sparks started to fly again with us like a month later. I am never the one to call him/text him because I dont want him to feel smoothered by me. But I want more, I am ready for more. I live with one of his best guy friends on a roomate level and he doesnt hide any of this from him. I just dont understand it anymore, my life revolves around this and I dont want it to anymore and i just want to get to the bottom of it. I am looking for your opinion. Do you think he has feelings for me? Am I being used? I hate this feeling ALOT, but i think I am in love with him.
Hey Guys, I really like this guy. He is the type that plays around, and he tells me about the girls he likes. And we can tell each other anything. But how do I get him to like me?
@MiMi.....please use the Ask the Guys form to contact us. We'd be happy to answer your question. Thanks for writing.
My guy and i have been together for a year and it seems that everytime we have a fall out, where he upsets me and he doesnt see my aspect on it, and or vice versa, we become distant and sometimes i may even say "i dont need this" etc, as if i am leaving him but he doesnt seem to show that he values the relationship or me because he doesnt make an effort to fight for it. He can go weeks without calling and i am always the one to reach out first because i dont want to give the opportunity for us to really fall out of love or he even meet someone else. Its to the point now where i dont know if i should pop up at his house and ask him does he really want to work it out. I texted him so many times yesterday just plain and simple telling him why does he not make an effort and no response. he always says he doesnt want to argue. I dont know whether he is that stubborn or is he just not interested.
[...] Is he stubborn or just not that into me? [...]