The Gym Guy: Is he interested?

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All the best,



Hello Guys,

Thanks for being here :)

This guy at the gym… morning weekday manager… I started frequenting the gym every morning 3 months ago. He was one of the other employees to me, nothing noteworthy, just a nice cute staff member at my local gym…

…Until about a month ago when he smiled at me. Sure other cute gym staff guys smile at me, but when HE smiled at me this one time about a month ago, I just melted. It was that look that I interpreted as, “you are beautiful,” or maybe it was my wishful thinking, but this was the first time when seeing him made me feel giddy. So, ever since then we flash smiles at each other when we see each other.

One day, as I was leaving the gym, he told me to have a nice weekend (with that smile that makes me melt)… Does he really look at all the girls this way? I ask myself. I still haven’t figured it out. Anyway, as I was heading out the door, I saw his reflection from the tinted windows and he was looking directly at me throughout my entire 25 or so foot walk to the door. Did he want me to know or could he not tell that I could see him? Darn, I should have had the nerve to turn around and catch him in the act :)

And just last week, we saw each other in the staircase and he backed up to talk to me. He was really surprised that I knew his name and he teased me. Then I excused myself into the women’s locker room, but was just so happy that he made an effort to come talk to me.

Since then, we still smile at each other, but I never stop to talk… I just take in that beautiful smile of his, smile right back, and get to my workout.

Today, I had the feeling that he was at the front desk when I walked through the gym, but I had no reason to look over other than to see if he was there, which I didn’t because I don’t want to look desperate. I want him to know I’m interested, but I certainly don’t want him to think I go to the gym for his sake (which I don’t)… his smile is my bonus :)

He always walks through the gym classes I take at least once and mostly twice. Don’t know if I ever contribute to that and I often feel him looking in my direction.

But I’ve been wondering why he doesn’t make an effort to be visibly available to me when I’m leaving the gym… maybe he’s not interested? Maybe he feels he already made his effort by backing up at the stairs to talk to me? Maybe he hasn’t figured out it takes me about half an hour to get ready to head out to work after the gym class I take… maybe I’m expecting too much from a guy who has work to do and doesn’t have the time to coordinate at what time he should be at the front desk to see that cute girl he likes leave….

And a friend of mine at the gym who’s been going much longer than me says he’s really quiet and shy, but I always see people talking to him…

Ah! What do I do? Just wait to see if he’ll get the hint from my smiling at him or should I do more?

Sorry so long, but I really am confused and don’t want to mess up a potentially good opportunity with a nice guy that may be interested.

Thanks guys!


Dear Laura,

Thanks for your question.

We also answered this question on our most recent podcast, TGP Episode 32: Money, Food, Couples, and Finances

Please listen to get our entire answer, which was somewhat lengthy. But we’ll sum this up here as well.

It sounds like he is in fact interested in you. Although keep in mind he is an employee and is paid to give good customer service. We can’t tell you how many guys think the waitress or bartender at the local restaurant is interested in them, when in fact they are just being nice, and hoping for a good tip. (It happens every day.)

However, your case seems different, especially since you saw him checking you out as you left the gym that one day. But his hands are tied. He really can’t ask you out because he’s probably signed some agreement to not hit on the members, otherwise he could lose his job.

So this is up to you Laura. The best way to take this to the next level is to find a time when you can chat briefly with him; and at the end of the conversation hand him your card, or a piece of paper with your number on it, and say something like, “If you’d like to have coffee or lunch sometime give me a call. We can continue this conversation.”

Keep in mind if you’ve misinterpreted his signals you still have to go to the gym even though you might be embarrassed or feel awkward. But we always say,  “nothing ventured nothing gained.”

Typically we think the guy should make the first move, but in your case you’re going to have to be the one to do it. But once the ball is in his court please leave it up to him . If he doesn’t call, or ask you out, it’s likely he just smiles at all the girls.

Good luck.


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109 Comments on The Gym Guy: Is he interested?

  1. @Anonymous……Stop listening to your buddy. You should go for what you want. Our advice: Start going to the gym by yourself. If she keeps giving you a look, try talking to her first. If she seems receptive ask her for her number. We’ve always had much more success “working” alone. The only downside: If you’ve misread this, then it could be a bit awkward going to that gym. If that happens—which we hope doesn’t—start going again with your buddy. Make sense.

  2. Hi, at the gym I have noticed a guy and whenever we end up near each other he smiles at me. Then yesterday I was looking for a bench and straight away he was offering me the bench near him and I said ok and he carried it over to this a sign he likes me?

  3. @Rach….Possibly. It’s too soon to tell. See how it plays out. And be patient.

  4. I’m having my own dilemma with a gentlemen at my gym.

    Basically back in may I decided to go back to the gym. I had gone to gyms previously but wasn’t sure on proper techniques so I didn’t stick with it. This gym I decided I would pay for a trainer and learn basic exercises and continue on my own afterwards. I typically have a better rapport with males, so I opted for a male trainer.

    The male trainer I got is fantastic! Not only did we get along perfectly, he was knowledgeable and easy to work with. Initially I had a crush on him, but I just chalked it up to being a crush.

    So our first session together he didn’t realize that it was a paid session. My gym offers trial sessions to members before they buy a package. So once our session was done he sat me down with customer service, and once I pointed out that I’ve already paid, we get up to leave. He remarks to me that he was glad I was a client of his, and he was hoping I’d get some sessions.

    Over the next couple of weeks we had our normal sessions, and in the midst I got his phone number because I needed to reschedule a session. The flirting during the sessions stayed pretty much as flirting.

    Well once our sessions ended he remarked how sad he was that I had no more sessions. That he had tons of fun with me, and I joked that we could continue to work out together, but never really agreed.

    After our final session, I saw him in the gym, but I wanted to intentionally look as if I hadn’t seen him. So I walked by him looking at my phone so it looked like I didn’t see him. He then came up to me almost immediately and said hey. Now I don’t know if it was intentional but after that everywhere I went, he was there and we would end up talking. Well I asked him for a copy of our last work out because of how good it was and he told me he would leave it up by the trainers desk for when I left. So I walked away. Next thing I know he comes up to me to hand deliver the work out routine and tells me bye.

    So naturally I am wondering if maybe he likes me, or is just really nice.

    Over the next couple of weeks if I did see him he was with a client, so we didn’t get to talk so much. He would come say hi to me whenever he could though. I had practically written this off until a couple days ago.

    I had no idea he was there, and was working out like normal, when he intentionally walks by me and stops to chat. We chatted for maybe 20 minutes or so about random things. I recalled telling him he owed me ice cream, and very adamantly reminded him of this. He agreed to get me ice cream, but it was almost like he wanted me to ask him out for ice cream. He said he didn’t want to bring it to the gym because it would melt, and I feel like I should’ve seized the opportunity there, but instead I continued to prod him that it would be ok. So he agrees that he will bring it to the gym and keep it in the trainer freezer. When I asked him why he was worried about it
    Melting when he has a freezer, he just shrugged and smiled.

    Well today I didn’t make it to the gym in time to get my ice cream from him, but he left it for me! People don’t bring people ice cream at the gym unless they like them right? Am I over analyzing? We text but usually I have to start it, but he will always respond, he makes an effort to seek me out to talk to me if he can when I’ve never made the same effort, and he always has a giant cheesy grin when he sees me not to forget he asked me if I wanted to join him in spin class. Am I making this up in my head because I want to see these things, or does he genuinely like me? If he does how do I get it to progress without being one of “those” girls?

  5. @Rina…..You don’t. If he doesn’t initiate something outside of the gym, you shouldn’t. Remember, you are his client. It’s his job to be super nice to you and flirt with you. Just like a bartender might. Like we said, if he doesn’t take this to the next level soon then he isn’t planning on it. Sorry. We’re hoping he will, but don’t get your hopes up too much. Focus on the fact that he’s a good trainer and enjoy being in the company of an attractive guy. Remember, it’s tricky for him to ask out a client. (Another thought: He also might have a girlfriend.) Good luck.

  6. There’s a guy that the first day of boot camp, he came out of nowhere three times to help me during the class. He would ask me questions about my tattoos and what I do, and he would call me a cheater during the exercises. The second day before the class, we had a small conversation. He came by me during line up and then told me were going to race, then when we started running he got into my lane to try to mess me up. He also gives me direction and will wait for me during exercises to explain them to me. Do you think he’s into me?

  7. hi i meet this much unger guy at the gym he comes over often to what it appears to me to be teasing he throws the ball at me and seams to be close to where im at all the time then like today he did not do much and then he suddenly left does guys maybe do that to be more interesting to women or is it just because they dont care maybe they are playing hard to get or something by leaving before you do im not dating him or anything its is just some flirting i guess i like him though what will a guy do to be more cool in his own eyes anyhow like i said he walks past me but not to often without bumping in to me like with a sholder or something any ideas

  8. fitness freak // November 17, 2015 at 3:49 pm //

    I constantly see a guy at gym. We had quite a few eye contacts intiated by him. I being shy would not look at him very often when people are around me. Now I feel he avoids eye contact, but makes sure he is always around me where ever I am in the gym. I do not know his intentions can anyone help me understand this. I tried to stay away thinking he might not be interested as he was avoiding eye contacts. But he is always where I am. If i avoid that place he comes where ever I am currently. I am confused.

  9. @fitness freak…..The best case scenario is if he initiates some sort of interaction with you.Maybe asks you to share weights or asks you a question about something exercise related. If he doesn’t you have two choices. 1. Initiate a conversation yourself. Same sort of idea we suggested for him. 2. Just wait and see. It’s hard to say what’s going on, but in general, hitting on a woman at the gym takes some serious confidence. He may or may not possess it.

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