The Guy’s Perspective

Dear Friends,

Thank you for your questions. Please use the form above to ask a question. Remember, if you have a pressing question that needs answering soon, please consider a donation to THE GUYS. (Read above for details) This will move your question to the top of the line. (Answered within 1-3 days) Otherwise your question will go into the general queue which has a 3-5 week delay right now.

For those of you who have donated, thank you. It does take a considerable amount of time to answer your questions thoughtfully and thoroughly.

THE GUYS

Some recent questions:

Is he into me or not?

Friends with benefits?

Am I being played again?

Is marriage a more solid commitment than living together?

Confusion: Is my housemate only interested in sex?

Online dating: Should I move forward?

My best friend: What does he want?

Guys,

This guy and I have been “dating”/talking for awhile now.  When we originally started talking/hanging out he was single. Then he had a VERY short relationship. (3 weeks). He broke up with her because things just didn’t work out. But he also said he was interested in me as well at the time. So now we have been “seeing” each other ever since. We have been hanging out several times a week now. We kiss, hold hands, cuddle, etc. But nothing more than PG-13.  It has been several weeks and I don’t know if I am just being impatient or if he just is dragging his feet.

We both watch the same shows and when I get to certain episodes he says, “You are not allowed to watch that without me.” I get messages like that from him all the time. But then sometimes I get mixed signals like tonight when he called me kiddo, I said “wow if that wasn’t sexy I don’t know what is.”  He gave me a “Really?” I told him of course not and he just told me “Okay, nighty night”.

There was another instance when we were supposed to hang out.  He ended up going out with his family—they are very close—and canceled on me. He ended up kinda buzzed, but called to apologize for blowing me off. He admitted that he liked me and he didn’t want me to be angry with him, or worry about him hanging out with others. He also threw in a line about “if and when—heavy emphasis on the when—you meet my family.” But the next time we hung out he barely touched me, and he held my hand very little. He had asked if I was okay for some strange reason but that was about it. I got a goodbye kiss but that was it.

He is confusing the heck out of me and I don’t know if I should just ask where we are or just let things progress more since it has only been a couple of weeks. I want to know if there is something real there, or if he is just dragging me along until he finds something better.  HELP ME!!!!

Leanne

Dear Leanne,

Thanks for writing to us.

We can’t know exactly what’s in this guy’s heart, but he’s giving you many signs that he likes you, especially if he wants you to meet his family. Is it possible he’s shy? Or maybe inexperienced? Or maybe he just doesn’t know how you feel about him yet?

We’d say give it a few more weeks. See how things progress. Maybe take some initiative and invite him over for dinner or something like that. It sounds like he needs a little prompting, or possibly some reassurance from you that you’re interested. Hasn’t he already said that he’s into you?

If he’s feeling insecure or unsure, he’s going to give you mixed signals. He doesn’t want to show his hand completely for fear of being rejected. The male ego will do almost anything to avoid looking the fool. His ego sounds completely intact and possibly working overdrive.

If after a few more weeks you still don’t have your answers, we think you should lay your cards on the table and tell him how you feel. This doesn’t mean it will work out the way you’d like. It might; it might not. But this way you’ll at least know where you stand, and whether or not the relationship has a chance to progress to the next level.

Good luck,

THE GUYS

ps. Let your friends know about us. Thanks for your donation.

 

Posted in Relationship Advice: Question/Answer

Tagged with: dating • dating advice • guy's perspective • guy's point of view • guys • male ego • men • new relationship • relationship advice • relationships