Of course this is harsh and not always true. Neediness comes and goes. And it changes through the course of any relationship. Every person has moments of neediness and that’s certainly normal. Like,  “Please tell me you still love me even though you are texting your new personal trainer every night about your workouts!” And, “If you would you just tell me you still find me attractive occasionally, I’ll stop pestering you about how fat I look!”

But even then, when it seems perfectly reasonable, no one likes it. It’s like a fly that keeps bombarding you while you’re on a peaceful walk. It ruins everything.

So I’ve been feeling needy lately. Not for the reasons mentioned above. It’s because I’ve been sick for a while. First a fever, then this cough that keeps getting worse. Then that finally subsides and the fever comes back. Then I get a sinus infection, take some medicine for it and my stomach turns inside out. It’s been one thing after the next! I guess that’s how it goes.

I actually don’t get sick much, but when I do I’m a baby. I hate being sick. Even when my fever is only 99.5 I feel like total crap. My kids could have a 102 degree temp and they run around like it’s their birthday. Me, I just can’t function at all.

Anyway, I guess my wife senses my neediness and I can tell it annoys her. She does her best to be sympathetic but it’s clear my neediness is certainly NOT why she married me. Fine, I get it.

But my doctor’s office! That’s another story.

I called to make an appointment. They didn’t even call me back. I had to call back twice just to make an appointment. What,… are guys not allowed to be sick until they turn 55 or something? I mean c’mon. I know about racism and sexism, but until now I had never heard of Desperationism. I mean isn’t that against the law or something?

So I’ve learned a valuable lesson these last few weeks. The next time I’m feeling vulnerable, sensitive, sick or just queasy, I’m going to keep my mouth shut. It seems to be the best way to get what you want.

Was it with the strong, silent type? They never go out of style.

DAMN THEM!!

“ONE of THE GUYS”