The Guy’s Perspective

It’s our first at bat and we come out swinging.

In this show:
“Ask the Guys” (“I found my boyfriend of thirteen years using three dating websites!” We do our best to offer up some practical advice. )
“Father Stories” (Dancing Dads, Herbie Hancock and Car Captivity Communing… It will all make sense, we promise.)
“Stream of Consciousness” (We spin the big wheel and it looks like it’s going to be… Follow our meandering minds.)
“The Meat” (Etiquette, Netiquette, Schmetiquette. Navigating our all too connected lives.)
“Youth is wasted on the Young” (We talk tattoos and trends.)

Listen now:

TGP Episode 1: Technology, Trends, and Tattoos [ 1:03:32 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

From THE GUYS

Before we get to the topic at hand, we’d like to thank
AskCherlock and  One Crazy Brunette Chick for sending us such great pictures of themselves wearing THE GUYS. If you haven’t visited them at their sites, you absolutely should. Great stuff!

So let’s get to today’s topic.

We’ve had some fierce debate about this. Read the excerpt below and please give us your opinion. We need help figuring this out!!!

Transcribed from a conversation with a friend, who is talking about her first date.
(GP = Guy’s Perspective)

Friend: I got set up on a blind date recently.

GP: Oh really! How was it?

Friend: It was OK.

GP: Just OK? …..what, you weren’t attracted to him?

Friend: He was  decent looking.

GP: Hmm……..are you going to go out with him again?

Friend: Yeah, you know me. I’m willing to give people a second chance, but I’m not sure if I should.

GP: Well let’s get the blow by blow…..(You know what we mean!)

Friend: OK, so tell me what you think….(Pause. Takes a breath and starts giving a quick summary of the date) So we’re having breakfast. The conversation was OK, but kind of stiff. It didn’t seem like we had much in common, but he was reasonably cool. Well, that is, until we were about to leave.

GP: What happened?

Friend: So we’re getting ready to leave and he says, “Can I get this to go?”

GP: OK? And?

Friend: It was French Toast for god’s sake! One piece of freakin’ French Toast!!!!

(She laughs out loud)

GP: (After Pause) So that’s a bit odd. But are you saying that’s a deal breaker?

Friend: Pretty much. Shouldn’t it be?

GP: Hmm. Should it be? Maybe. Probably. Not sure.

Friend: I don’t know either. Something just seems wrong about it.  Of course Alison(her daughter) thinks I’m being absolutely ridiculous. She was yelling at me over the phone and lecturing me about how I’m too picky.

GP: OK, so let’s look at this. Thinking about it from a very practical standpoint it doesn’t seem so bad. But giving it more thought, it’s just plain odd. What guy in their right mind asks to take home one piece of French Toast on a first date??!! That’s the problem. If he doesn’t understand that it COULD be interpreted as strange, then what the hell else doesn’t he get?

Friend: It “weirds” me out for some reason, but I am going to go out with him again.

GP: Good luck with that.

So what do you think dear readers? Is “French Toast To Go” a deal breaker on the first date?

ps. The second date was a total flop. Can anyone say, “Eggs to go.”

As I was walking into the grocery store the other day I saw a friend of mine.
He smiled and said, “How are you?”

I had a lot on my mind at that moment and I proceeded to tell him how I was doing.  When I looked up, I could see the look of horror on his face. Clearly I had violated appropriate social etiquette.

“How are you?” is a simple multiple choice question for which there are only two appropriate answers.

a) Good

b) Fine

Anything else is a breach of “said” social contract which we all unwittingly agree to, in order to function in our complex society.

So does anyone really care how anyone else is? Possibly, but that’s yet to be determined.

So let’s look at three possible scenarios for why this kind of interaction is taking place across the nation on a regular basis.

1. We truly don’t care about other people because we’re too wrapped up in our own little world.

2. We constantly feel like we’re rushing, so we don’t feel like we have the time to really care.

3. We’ve forgotten how to listen. Or we never learned how to listen. Or listening makes us uncomfortable.

I try hard not to fall into any of these camps, but if I do it would be the second camp. I’m overwhelmed with everything I feel I need to do. But much of it is self-imposed. Do I really need to check my email while my wife is trying to talk to me? Or cut the lawn instead of playing with my kids? Or just let time determine my interactions?

As for Guys in general, we are often accused of being in the third camp. Of course being a Guy, I feel like this is totally unfair. Yes, we’re easily distracted, but we do know how to listen, we just need to be interested in the topic at hand. But that’s not really being a good listener is it? It really shouldn’t matter what the topic is. Lending an ear to someone is about getting beyond yourself. The Guys are working on it!

In what camp do you fall if any?

So having said all of that, sometimes I just don’t want to DEAL. So I’ve begun to devise a system that might help us all deal a little easier. It’s pretty easy. Body parts symbolize certain things. You just nod and point. I’ll give you a few examples.

The Easy Way Out: How to not say, “How are you?”

Nod and put finger to mouth: This means I’m good, but I’m hungry. Stay away or you might get bitten.

Nod and point to crotch: This means I need to find a bathroom quickly, so no time to chat.

Nod and stick hands in armpits: Get back for your own protection. I haven’t showered.

Any other suggestions are welcome!

One thing my system makes very clear. You know if you walk by me and I say, “How are you?” I actually really want you to answer…..truthfully!!

“ONE of THE GUYS”