The Guy’s Perspective Podcast Episode 40: Being politically correct, a daughter’s triumph, relationships, and more

In this episode:

Katy Perry & Rebecca Black Last Friday Night Video

Segments

Ask the Guys: The Guys put their heads together to help listeners with their questions.

Father Stories: Alex from LA calls to share his daughters triumph.

Stream of Consciousness: Spinning the Big Wheel for random fun.

The Meat: “If you can’t say something nice…”  When to hold your tongue and be P.C..

Pop Culture Corner - The party just keeps growing for Rebecca Black as Katy Perry releases the video for her new single “Last Friday Night” which prominently features Rebecca.  We talk about why we even care.  By the way Sai gives some little known info about one Kenny G too.

Want to win a $25.00 Starbucks Gift Card???  We have a few more places open for our Guy’s Perspective Slow Jam songs contest.  We will name the 12 top picks in Episode 41 (2 weeks) For a chance to win call The Guys at 347-855-GUYS or hit our contact page with the subject: Slow Jams and let us know the song or songs that put you in the romantic mood.

The Guy’s Perspective YouTube page is here!  What?!  Yes, and we already have some great videos up.  So check that out and if you would please subscribe and leave us a nice comment while you’re at it.  Share us with some friends too.

Questions for Ask the Guys:

Tiera: Help I’m embarrassed of him!

Danielle: Will he come back or is it just a mind game?

Nat: We have strong feelings but it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere.

Sally: What’s his problem?

 

Father Stories:

Alex from L.A. calls to share his daughter’s victory over training wheels.  As a follow up to a story he shared in Ep:23 The Best Gift Ever Alex tells about a gift he received just last week.

Stream of Consciousness: We spin the Big Wheel and come up with random topics for some great conversation… hopefully.  This time the words are Rage, Deviation and Bomb and the conversation goes from grandma’s driving to Russian dance club puppetry.  Huh?  You have to listen.

The Meat: If you can’t say something nice…  stories of when to hold your tongue.  The great air conditioner – doggy diarrhea debate, the death of Jackass star Ryan Dunn and Roger Ebert’s controversial Tweet. Asking the question “Is it wise to tell your hometown D.B. off?”

Thanks for listening!

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The Guy’s Perspective Podcast Ep. 39: Dating questions, Father’s Day, Number one

In this episode:

I feel happy of myself

Anthony wants to know about a pickup basketball Road trip. Sai talks about his experience on the road.

Voice mail: Antonio from LA calls us out on GLEE

More trouble stirring at Dunkin Donuts

THE TRUTH:  3 New stories in our “Your Number One” Challenge. Can you find the lie?

ASK THE GUYS: Relationship and Dating questions

Serge – Am I wasting my youth?

Lauren - My boyfriend is having a hard time with my opposite sex friendship

Amanda – I thought he broke up with me, but now he acts like it never happened!  Help!

FATHER STORIES: Cucch and Sai interview a good friend, Sam, and talk about dads, kids, polenta and even a great Father’s Day movie recommendation, Life is Beautiful.

Also, some great suggestions by our listeners on how they are spending their Father’s Day.

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Being played by my woman?

Check out our You Tube Channel. Getting Played.

If you have  a relationship question, leave us a note here on the Ask the Guys page. We’ll do our best to answer it here, or on our podcast. However, due to the large number of questions, we can’t get to every one.

Also please consider a small donation to help support the Guys. Click the Paypal button to the right. It does take a good amount of time to give thoughtful answers to your questions.

Subscribe to our blog feed, and/or our podcast feed.

Please send us your photos. As soon as we get enough photos to create a fan section on the photo page we will.
Send to: advice@theguysperspective.com

Thanks so much.

Recent questions:

Friends with benefits

Am I being used?

Online dating question

I’m with someone who has feelings for their ex

Age gap in my relationship; lack of trust

Confusing friendship; will this guy follow through?

A confused girl; the prom

Boyfriend who has a history of doing unsavory things

Listen to our latest podcast, AND subscribe: (see subscribe buttons at top of pages)

The Guy’s Perspective Podcast Episode 37: Glee, Dunkin Donuts Psychic, Bratz, Slow Jams Contest

Hey Guys,

So I started hanging with this girl and we hit it off right away.  She was telling me how she really likes me and how she is falling for me and all this great stuff. And I had the same feelings for her and felt the same way.  We would talk every day and acted like we were in the process of getting together. One day I went to go meet her parents and it went terribly.  Her father refused to speak to me and her mom kept giving me these looks like I did something wrong even though I was respectful and tried to talk to them.

Over the course of the next couple weeks she started acting weird towards me. She said everything was fine when it really wasn’t. Now we are friends and we still hook up every once in a while. She says she cares about me and what not but somehow I feel like she is playing me until she can find a better guy. Or she is just hooking up with me and other guys too. I want to forget her but I can’t because I still have those feelings from when we first starting hanging out.  Maybe you guys can help me out, and give me some advice and maybe can help me figure out what she is thinking or what not.

Meat

Dear Meat,

Thanks for your question.

We’re sorry your visit with her parents went so poorly. Do you have any idea why her father wouldn’t speak with you? Obviously he had some preconceived notion of you, and had already decided he didn’t like you even before he met you. So what’s going on with that?

Here are some reasons a father might act that way:

1. You’ve done something in the past to hurt his daughter.

2. He thinks you’re using his daughter, especially for sex.

3. You don’t treat his daughter with respect.

4. He thinks you’re a player, and you’re not serious about his daughter.

5. He thinks you’re not good enough for his daughter. (Class issue. Job issue. Motivation issue. Even looks issue.)

6. He doesn’t like your ethnicity, religion. (We’re not saying this is okay, but if he was not an open-minded person, this could be an issue.)

7. Thinks you can’t provide for your daughter.

8. No one is good enough for his daughter. Period!

9. He’s a mean dude.

Daughters are very connected to their fathers, especially when it comes to prospective mates. She is looking for his approval about the man in her life. Since it’s very obvious he doesn’t like you this puts her in a precarious position. To be with you she has to choose between you and him. This is not the scenario she pictured in her mind when she thought about the man of her dreams, so it’s likely she feels very conflicted about you and the relationship because of this. And this could account for why you think she’s only hooking up with you while she bides her time looking for a more suitable guy who her father will like. (Of course, if he falls under #8, she’ll be searching forever. And if that’s the case you’re lucky to not be the one she chooses. Because ultimately it’s a lot better to be with someone whose family you get along with.)

So have you told her how you feel about her? We mean really told her? Maybe you need to take her out on a proper date, or dates, and start getting to know her on some other levels. Is it possible she thinks you only want her for sex as well?

Also, if she is hooking up with other guys, and you still want to pursue the relationship, you need to differentiate yourself from these other men. We get the sense that you think you might not be good enough for her, when you wonder if she’s looking for someone better. Well maybe she has her own struggle with self-worth, and if you start treating her as more than a hook up she might start responding differently to you. And maybe even her father will too, if he knows you’re in it for the long haul.

Fathers just want their kids to be happy. If he sees that you are a respectable guy that will do whatever it takes to make her happy, he may come around. (Although we won’t lie to you: sometimes these things take years.) As far as your lady friend, start communicating beyond the bedroom. And keep us posted.

Good luck,

THE GUYS

ps. Please leave us a follow up comment, or question. Thanks.


TGP Episode 36: You Tube Sensation, a father’s appreciation, pajamas in public

Sai and Cucch begin the show discussing the reactions to Rebecca Black’s Video, “Friday”

Watch it on You Tube:

Rebecca Black

Should people wear pajamas in public? Cucch and Sai debate the matter during “Youth is Wasted on the Young.”

Father Stories: Sai is given some insight into parenting from a young friend. And he gains a new appreciation.

Ask the Guys: Cucch and Sai answer your dating and relationship questions. Here are the three we answered.

Sabrie: Prom question

Joy: Was he just looking for sex?

Layla: One night stand becomes more.

THE MEAT: What’s their story? In the movie, “Date Night”, Tina Fey and Steve Carell go out to dinner one evening. While dining they make up stories about their fellow patrons. They’re not the first to do this; Sai and Cucch have been doing that for years.

If you have relationship questions, or general questions about guys, leave us a note on the Ask the Guys page of our website: The Guy’s Perspective. We’ll do our best to answer it on the podcast or on the Ask the Guys page. However, due to the large number of questions, we can’t get to every one.

Also please consider a small donation to help support the Guys. Click the Paypal button on our site. It does take a good amount of time to give thoughtful answers to your questions.

Subscribe to our blog feed, and/or our podcast feed.

Please send us your photos. As soon as we get enough photos to create a fan section on the photo page we will.
Send to: advice@theguysperspective.com

Thanks so much.

Some recent questions to check out:

Confused by my marine

What is his problem?

Soon to be mom

How to start a long distance relationship?

Is this boy playing me?

He’s back, but is he into me?

 

 

Relationships, Finances, Jobs: Why won’t my man look for a job?

Dear Guys,

I’ve been in a long term relationship for two years now. We live together. Six months ago my man got laid off from his job. At first he looked for a new job but with no success. Now the last few months he has hardly gotten off the couch. I’ve tried to give him ideas to help him, but he just gets mad at me. His unemployment is starting to affect our relationship?

Why won’t he look for work?

I’m not beginning to think he’s lazy, and it’s making me question the relationship.

Can you give me any insight into what’s going on?

Caroline

Dear Caroline,

Thanks for your question. With unemployment high, and the economy taking longer than many thought to recover, your situation is not that uncommon unfortunately.

First of all, we’re sorry this is going on for your man, and for you. Losing a job elicits a lot of different emotions including the big three: anger, fear and anxiety.

We can speak for the men of the world when we say that our job is tied in closely with our identity. That’s not true for all men, but it’s certainly true for the high percentage of men. With the stay-at-home-dad movement, we are starting to define ourselves differently, and valuing the ever important role of being fathers, however, our ego is definitely caught up in our work.

You don’t say whether the current situation is causing  financial stress in your relationship. Is it? Or is he not pulling his weight in other areas? Finances are one of the biggest causes of conflict when it comes to relationships. Not just the lack of, but also the way a couple views money. If one person is a spender and the other a saver, that can cause conflicts. Or another scenario that could cause conflict is how each person wants to spend the money. (One person wants to spend money on the house, but the other person thinks the money should be spent on vacations.)

Understand that your man is likely depressed, and is probably feeling paralyzed. It’s not that he doesn’t want to work, it’s that he feels so overwhelmed by the situation that he ends up spending his days on the couch instead of out looking for work. That is frustrating for him, and also frustrating for you. But don’t confuse this with laziness. It’s not. But that doesn’t mean it’s okay. After a while he needs to get motivated, or get some help to get motivated. That should not be your role. He needs to do it himself.

But the time has come for you to have a long talk with him. Let him tell you how he’s feeling if that’s possible, and if not, try to let him know that you understand how he might be feeling. Also tell him how you feel. He needs to understand that his actions are impacting the relationship.

We can’t help you him find employment, but we can tell you that looking for a job, is basically a full time job. If that makes any sense? We’re confident that he’ll get back on his feet once he starts to use them again.

In the future, if you ever need help organizing your finances, you should check out Mint Dot Com. It’s a good resource.

All the best, and good luck.

THE GUYS

Readers: Leave us a note with your question. Listen to our podcast to hear us answer questions.

TGP Episode 31: Date ideas, A father’s changing role, Awkward Strippers

Cucch and Sae share results from the latest poll: Must haves for the weekend.

Go to The Guys’ Network to view results. Topping the poll was: Making Sweet Love. David Duchovny, of the hip Showtime series, “Californication” has an opinion on the term “Making Love.” Click the link to listen to his quote. Listen to the show to hear Sae’s opinion.

Some other choices for the weekend were:

Playing sports, cooking, spending time with the family, drinking a cold libation, etc. Even our President is getting into the weekend action.

In Father Stories Sae shares a story about his daughter Maya, which brought up a larger question for both Cucch and Sae. As our kids mature, and get older, how do our roles change as fathers? Cucch shares a story of his own.

Next, Cucch and Sae answer your relationship questions in the Ask the Guys segment.

Courtney asks: Is he into me?

Teresa asks: Am I too young to wait out my long distance relationship?

If you have any relationship questions, dating questions, or general questions about guys, leave us a note on the Ask the Guys page, or give us a call at: 347-855-GUYS. We’ll try to answer them on our next show, or on the Ask the Guys page. And be sure to read some of the archive. We’ve been asked a lot of interesting questions.

InThe Stream of Consciousness we spin the big wheel just once, and it falls on Stripping. Who put that up there?!! Suprisingly, both Cucch and Sae have a lot to say on the topic. Or maybe not surprisingly?

In THE MEAT we discuss creative date ideas. From indoor picnics, to rollerblading, we share what’s worked for us in the past, AND present. Because it’s important to keep dating even when you’ve been together a long time.

For other creative date ideas check out these great sites.

The Art of Manliness

Nifty Date Ideas

All Swagga

If you haven’t had a chance to leave us a review on itunes, we’d certainly appreciate it if you did. (Five star reviews are most welcome. Thanks!)

Enjoy!

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TGP Episode 23: The best gift ever

Happy Holidays everyone!

We start off with “Hot or Not.” We give our ratings on: eggnog, snowmen, getting gifts, holiday cards, novelty tunes, and much more.

We then move into “Father Stories” where Sai shares a story about altruism, and Cucch shares the latest trend in gift giving with “Heifer International.” Now you can give a cow as a gift!

We finish with “The best gift ever.” Our listeners and readers share their favorite gifts they ever gave….and received.

Enjoy this great time of year.

THE GUYS

If you want to ask us a question, leave us a comment, or just say hello, call us at: 347-855-GUYS(4897). Or contact us through our website at theguysperspective.com.

Help us out and leave a review on itunes. (Five stars of course!) And when we hit 60 we’ll be drawing for a prize of 2 Thumb Drives filled with all our podcasts. Keep one, and give one to a friend. And then use the drive for whatever you’d like. It’s our two thumbs up challenge!

We do our best to bring you a quality show every week, so consider sponsoring THE GUYS. Click the “Sponsor” button on our website. Thanks so much!

TGP Episode 19: Buyer’s Regret, Making the Team, Kissing Cousins

We start out this episode with: Are we the only ones? as we discuss movie sequels. Do they work for you? They don’t work for Cucch. He gives his reason why, and it may surprise you….man falls for woman, then woman disappears.

Aliens, Karate Kid, Indiana Jones

We hope to be conducting interviews soon. But we need some help getting a telephone interface: JK Audio. Please sponsor THE GUYS. We’ll be happy to return the favor by promoting your website, business, or recent endeavors.

In Father Stories, Sai discusses his son’s journey with travel basketball tryouts. Making the team came with an important life lesson.

Cucch brings up Geek Holidays. Modern Warfare Black Ops was released last week, and on the very same day, businesses reported a high number of sick workers. Coincidence or not?

Why is Gordon Ramsey our least favorite Gordon?

And finally we wrap it up with Ask the Guys. Noel wants to know if an “eye for and eye” is okay. Maybe Noel. But certainly not an “eye for a head.”

And Paige wonders if dating her ex’s cousin is a No Go. Hmm…….nothing like kissing cousins.

Recent questions for The Guys

We’ll be answering these questions on our podcast. You can listen here, or on itunes and Zune. Next episode coming Sunday. If we don’t get to all three, we’ll address whatever we missed on the following episode.

So please tune in, subscribe, and spread the word!

Also, feel free to leave your comments addressing any of the questions below.  Your insights will help DJ, Katie, and Megan figure out their prospective situations. Thanks in advance.

From DJ

OK..my boyfriend and I have been dating for the past two years and I love him dearly. We have a baby together and he never helps with anything and rarely wants to do anything with me or his son. It’s been like this for the last year… during my pregnancy until now. I’ve tried everything from taking interest in the things he likes, demanding, ignoring, and nothing works. I want to know from a guy’s perspective what to do.

From Katie

He is my best friend and said he liked me awhile ago, and asked me out. This weekend I was with his best friend at a football game, and he sent me this text message.
‘We’ve been friends ever since I can remember, I mean there’s no one else I can talk to but you. And if we dated and broke up that would be gone. It just becomes awkward and don’t think I’m just telling you this now because I’ve been trying to find a way to tell you but it’s becoming drama already, which tells me we wouldn’t last and I can’t lose you. Plus I’m not worth losing a friendship over, trust me…’ Then after we talked for a bit about it he said ‘Ok I mean if I lost you I couldn’t come back from it. I’d lose the best thing ever.’
What does he mean by all of this? Does he still like me? I have no idea what’s going through his mind right now.

From Megan

i have been bestfriends with him for more than 10 years, we know everything about each other! we have been there for one another through rough times and good times, break ups and new relationships, we can tell each other anything and not judge one another, we give our opinions and then just move on from the situation. we flirt all the time, and i know that my feelings for him are more than “just friends” but im not 100% sure on his feelings. we spend a lot of time together, and we are very protective of one another! we stay the night with each other all the time, with no expectations… i THINK he has feelings for me.. so my question is, what do you think, and how should i confront him about this.. thanks:)

TGP Episode 11: Customer Service, Football, and Listening

Pet Peeves: Customer Service, Automated System

Ask the Guys: How do I show my girl I love her?

Father Stories: Special story shared by Liz aka “Naughtie Scribe”

The MEAT: Football…its impact on the family.

Youth is Wasted: Is 18 too young to go to college?

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TGP Episode 9: Food Porn, Friends w Benefits, School Dilemma

Pet Peeves: Food porn, Baseball players

Ask the Guys: Group Dating

Father Stories: What dad’s do (Special guest)

THE MEAT: School Dilemma

Thanks so much for listening!

We’re getting close to the next twenty review on itunes. Please leave us a five star review and be in the running for a free piece of merchandise from our website. Thanks!

We’re also up on the Zune marketplace!

Support THE GUYS. Please consider a small donation.

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TGP Episode 8: Bad Boys, Bad Drinks, and Bad Drivers

Our Show:

Pet Peeves: “Bad Drivers” and “Is this still a martini?” (Check out: The McNuggetini Girls)

Ask the Guys: Love connection disconnect

Father Stories: Lessons in Guns

Stream of Consciousness: Tomatoes, Vampires, and Hobbits

THE MEAT: Curse of the Bad Boy

You can find THE GUYS on itunes. Please get involved in the next merchandise contest. Leave us a five star rating and/or review on itunes, and give yourself a chance to win a piece of our merchandise of your choosing.

Follow THE GUYS on Facebook. Click link on our website.

Our show will be coming to you weekly starting in September. The Guys are working extra hard to put this together. Please support us and consider a donation. Thanks!

And THANKS so much for listening!

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TGP Episode 5: Curse of the Nice Guy…and more!

The Rundown:

Pet Peeves: Babies at the movies. Cell phones.

Ask the Guys: Is technology making us dumber?

Father Stories: Our friend Lovy reflects on her father.

Stream of Consciousness: Summer, Computers, and Guinea Pigs

The Meat: Curse of the Nice Guy

Thanks for listening!

If you haven’t subscribed already, you can do so on our website or on itunes.

Join in the discussion, and leave us a comment on our website, or on our Facebook fan page.

And if you’re so inclined, a five star rating, or a review on itunes would be most appreciated. After the first twenty reviews we’ll be having a drawing for a piece of our merchandise. Shipped to your door from THE GUYS!!

Please Digg or Stumble this podcast. Thanks!

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Multi-tasking: Squeeze every last drop

Happy Father’s Day!

We do a segment on our podcast called “Father Stories.” Since our fathers were influential in shaping the people we are today, we decided to do an entire segment talking about some of the stories we remember growing up. (And yes our mothers were too, but that goes without saying!)

If you’d like to share a story about your father, please drop us a note and put “Father Stories” in the header. We may just read yours on an upcoming podcast. And if you’re a blogger, we’ll certainly give you some props. Thanks!

Also, there’s been some general confusion about THE GUYS. So we’re here to clear this up. Yes, we are a bunch of guys. Some of the guys write. Some of the guys work on the podcast. And some of the guys work behind the scenes. We also have a creative team. So from now on, some of us will be putting our first names on our posts. Any post written collaboratively will be from THE GUYS.

Hope this helps!

Written by Sai, aka “One of the Guys”

I’m never late. Or at least I never used to be late.

It seems my urge to be productive has begun to affect my punctual side. Whenever I have 15 minutes of “idle time” I try to squeeze every drop I can out of it. I might try to respond to a few more emails, pay a couple of bills, make a quick call, or even try to fix something around the house. After I’ve done these things, sure enough I’ve well surpassed the 15 minutes I once had, and now I’m late to my next appointment. And of course odds are, I will surely land behind a bus or a truck as I race to make up the time on the road.

If this sounds familiar, you are also suffering from over-productivity. Over-productivity you say? How can someone actually be over productive?  Believe me you can. This circumstance happens when your self-induced production diminishes another experience.

We all do this to a certain extent these days. And technology has made it very easy. When the cell phone was introduced it was used primarily for emergencies: being stranded on the road, being lost, or for reminding our spouse to pick up milk for cereal the next morning. But what’s happened is something no one could have predicted. Cell phones have to a great extent replaced landlines. We talk everywhere, including elevators, cars, business meetings, parties and even on dates. It’s given us ways to multi-task that we could never have conceived. But has it actually simplified our lives and made things easier?

Multi-tasking can be a good thing, but it also has a detrimental effect. It constantly beckons us throughout our days. It makes us scattered and unfocused. And it makes us feel like we should always be doing something. Actually not just something, but more than one thing. And if somehow we can do three or four things at once that’s even better. Of course this never-ending cycle will eventually run us into the ground.

And not only is technology doing exactly the opposite of what it was intended, it’s also reaching into other parts of our culture and diminishing those experiences. “Idle” has become a dirty word in our society, and it’s associated with laziness, aimlessness, and worthlessness. But in my mind it’s something we all should strive for more.

Experiences are being lost every day. They are following the lead of the Dodo Bird. Experiences like reading a good book, or taking a relaxing walk on the beach WITHOUT a phone, or sitting without fidgeting while our kids tell us about their day, are all being squeezed out in favor of screen time. Even books are being replaced by computerized versions of themselves.

I for one certainly like all these new gadgets and inventions. It shows that the spirit of ingenuity and invention is still very much alive in our world. But these gadgets shouldn’t replace and dilute everyday experiences. They should enhance them and give us new ways to actually experience life.

We’ve come too far to start regressing, but let’s make sure that even as we squeeze every last drop out of our day, we at least leave a few minutes to enjoy the lemonade, while taking in a quiet sunset.

Are you a multi-tasker? How so?

How do you think technology is impacting our lives? Good? Not so good?

How many things can you do at once? (I’m expecting some creative things here!)

Do you value “idle” time? In what ways?

TGP Podcast Episode 1: Technology, Trends and Tattoos

It’s our first at bat and we come out swinging.

In this show:
“Ask the Guys” (“I found my boyfriend of thirteen years using three dating websites!” We do our best to offer up some practical advice. )
“Father Stories” (Dancing Dads, Herbie Hancock and Car Captivity Communing… It will all make sense, we promise.)
“Stream of Consciousness” (We spin the big wheel and it looks like it’s going to be… Follow our meandering minds.)
“The Meat” (Etiquette, Netiquette, Schmetiquette. Navigating our all too connected lives.)
“Youth is wasted on the Young” (We talk tattoos and trends.)

Listen now:

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