The Guy’s Perspective

We’ve had many of our readers wonder about THE GUYS. Well today we’d like to answer some of your questions. So here goes:

You: Is it just one guy or are there a bunch of guys?

Us: The site was started by Sai, aka “One of the Guys” as a dating website writing descriptions for online profiles, but it’s morphed into much more. (Yes, we still do that.) But now we have five other guys contributing to various parts of our site, including the blog, podcast and creative team.

You: So then why the singular Guy’s Perspective.

Us: Guy is a singular term. Basically we are presenting the perspective of the guy, or a guy. How does a guy think? What does he do? What motivates him? What is his next move? Since we’re all guys, we feel we have a pretty good handle on this. Also, The Guy’s Perspective just looks better than The Guys’ Perspective.

You: How old are you guys?

Us: Old enough to know that we don’t know everything. But seriously, most of us are in our thirties and forties. However, we certainly can remember our teens and twenties. Those kinds of memories don’t fade; good and bad!

You: What makes you qualified to talk about relationships?

Us: We’ve gained a lot of insight from our own dating experiences, plus marriage and fatherhood. However, we don’t necessarily have more qualifications than anyone else, just that we’re able to bounce ideas off each other and really discuss all topics thoroughly.

You: What are you guys into besides talking about relationships?

Us: We’re into everything and anything. Here are some interesting tidbits about us.

These are from various guys.

-I love Terry Gilliam movies.

-I possibly make the world’s finest apple crisp.

-I run a beverage company by day.

-I’ve played the piano at Yoshi’s Jazz Club.

-I hate every one of the 45 minutes on the elliptical trainer.

-I once wanted to travel around the country playing pick up basketball.

-I wore my baseball uniform every day to first grade.

-The songs most played songs on my ipod are: “Going in the right direction” by Robert Randolph. “Local Hero” by Mark Knopfler. “Pride and Joy” by Stevie Ray Vaughn.

-Favorite movies of ours: “Shawshank Redemption” “Pulp Fiction” “Bourne Identity” “Forrest Gump” “Slumdog Millionaire.” Actually the list could go on and on.

-I own a mandolin.

-I am searching for a Jesus shaped spirituality.

-I owned a standard poodle as a kid. She famously jumped out of the second floor window and survived.

-I climbed El Capitan, and slept five nights gaming from a hammock on the wall. (He’s insane!)

-We have 12 kids between us. No grandchildren.

You: Thanks for clearing some things up for us. Can we keep asking you questions as we think of them?

Us: Sure. Ask away. We won’t promise that we’ll answer all of them, but we’ll do our best.

You: Last question. Are you really as nice as you try to portray here?

Us: Yikes. Do you mean, are we really that square? Or are you asking if we’re hiding something?

You: Both.

Us: Let’s put it this way, none of us have criminal records, or anything like that. Jeez! And as far as being square, no question would shock us. We’re not as shy as we seem, and we like talking about everything, even sex. Yeah, we said it. Yes, there’s a little bad boy in all of us.

THE GUYS

Any more questions? Ask away! (We’re not promising, but we’ll do our best.)

Here are some recent questions and inquiries for THE GUYS. Two are actual questions and two were searches. We felt they were pretty straightforward so we decided to put them all in one post.

If you’d like to get THE GUYS delivered to your door please subscribe to either the blog or podcast or both. Thanks.

Question 1:

If a guy talks to you on and off, going through little stages such as talks to you a whole bunch, smiles at you, tells you he thinks you’re cute. Then suddenly he stops talking to you, stops smiling at you, then all together stops talking to you, and then ignores you, then goes for my friend, what in the hell does this even mean!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guys: Unfortunately this means this guy is a scoundrel. Of course you don’t say how old he is, so it could just be that he’s young and confused. A young guy is like a squirrel that comes across a yard full of nuts and flits around from one to the other, not knowing which to store first. It’s baffling to us too, and we’re Guys. So our best advice to you is move on, don’t be discouraged, and find yourself some wholesome nerd who will treat you right.

Question 2:

How big is the tooth fairy?

Guys: In our best estimation the tooth fairy is small enough to covertly sneak into houses, but strong enough to carry a whole lot of money around. Of course these days with the value of the dollar plummeting, money isn’t that heavy, so the tooth fairy truly could be a tiny little thing. The best thing to do is keep your eyes closed and sleep. From what we little we know on the subject, the tooth fairy won’t come if you’re awake. So ask yourselves this question. Would you rather be knowledgeable or rich?

Question 3:

My date sniffed me. Why?

Guys: Sniffed you where? And was it audible? Look, what’s wrong with a good sniff? That means he’s way into you. You might have an issue if he comes in the bathroom while you’re reading a magazine and takes a huge sniff and says, “That made my day.” (Although that might not even be a deal breaker. And do females even do that?) Guys do the “darndest” things. We’d say, enjoy the attention.

Question 4:

What if a guy asked me to slow dance at the prom?

Guys: Is this your date? We’re assuming that it is. What we think you’re asking is, “What can I expect during a slow dance at the prom?” If this is the case, you can expect exactly what you’re worried about; a slow moving tubular object that hardens as it creeps up your leg. Sorry, not much else to say. Don’t be too frightened, it’s pretty normal.

If you have questions for the guys, leave us a note on the “Ask the Guys” page. And check out the archives on that same page for previous questions and/or topics we’ve addressed. And yes, we do answer serious questions too.

We also answer questions on our Podcast.

Since we are all conspiracy theorists at heart, we feel it’s only
fair to share some important information we’ve gathered along the way. Of course what we seek may be different than what you seek, but this information could  help to you find your own Holy Grail.

Since everyone loves lists, here is our list of “The ten things you should ask yourself before saying those two most sacred words: I will!”

And for our male readers. Please feel free to add to the list. We’re not a secret society here!

Away we GO!!!

1.
Does your man only say “I love you” when he’s aroused or about to enter the sacred chalice? If so, you may have a guy who is constantly searching.

2. Does your man say yes to everything you ask?
We’re not talking about normal compromise and the give and take that works in a healthy relationship, we’re talking a “YES MAN.” If so, you may think you hit the jackpot, but instead you’ve landed in a holding pattern around Boredom Airport.”

3. Is your man ambitious?
Let’s define this more clearly because as you know ambition can be a very good thing. But does he put his ambition first? Or his career first? Always saying, “As soon as I get this things will be good.” Sure you’ll be adorned with lots of presents, but he may never be present.
And that’s literal and figurative. You figure that out.

4. How
long does your man stand in front of the mirror? For men and women this
is a very different beast all together. We’re not opposed to careful grooming, but a man who constantly scrutinizes his own image, may be a bit too caught up in body image entirely. If so, good luck living up to that one.

5. How laid back is your man? There’s a fine line between, “It’s all Good!” and “I don’t give a shit.”

6.
Does your man try to hide the fact that he thinks other women are hot?
This is called the secret life of GUYS. Openly flaunting attraction to another women is NOT COOL!! But pretending he’s not attracted to anyone else in the entire world is absurd!

7. How jealous is your man? Some jealousy is a good thing, especially early on in a relationship. It can show that your man cares about you. But as you get more serious, or approach matrimony, the types of insecurities that lead to stalking or worse should be quieted. Sure, men are protective of their mates. That is part of us. But be aware of how this plays out. Any form of phone, email, text tampering pretty much means, RUN AWAY! And yes, we’re serious. Someone that insecure is trouble. Open communication early on will help immensely in this arena.

8. What does your man do for a living and
are you happy being poor? We’re kind of joking here. We actually hope the answer is yes. Meaning, we’d like to think you love us for who we are. But we also know that sentiment gets old fast. Modern life is expensive. Family life is expensive. And that longing in your eyes as you watch your man perform at that dive bar down the street is going to disappear if there’s not enough money to get diapers. Be honest with yourself. And most importantly, hope that your GUY loves being Mr. Mom.
Someone’s gotta wear the pants in the family.

9. Is your GUY
comfortable with you having friends? And we don’t just mean ex-boyfriends or other GUYS. We mean anyone. Any Guy with some testosterone coursing through his veins will be a little jealous(there’s that word again) if you hang out with your ex. That subject alone might take up a whole other post. But some GUYS just don’t want you to have a life outside of them. So ask yourself if you’re OK, being sucked into his world. For some it works and for others it
doesn’t.

10. We saved this one until the end because it’s the juiciest one of all.
We’ve developed a ratings system to help with confusion upon entering a life altering decision.
We call it, “First pick or second two.” This was a basic rule we used as kids upon deciding teams for any pick up sport. Sometimes simplicity is the most effective means to solving a problem….or for that matter anything. Here’s how it works. When picking teams the “captains” could either get first pick or the next two picks. This made the rest of the picks crucial, because it eliminated the obvious choices, and turned the rest of the picks into the winning or losing team. So here’s how it applies to our list.

Since we’re speaking in terms of TEN, let’s say you have ten important criteria when picking a mate. Without a doubt, you should get your first pick or your second two. Without one or the other, the rest of the picks don’t matter. But then after that, the rest of the picks (criteria) could turn to gravy, or unfortunately, artificial sweetener. And that’s where the fun and mystery lie.

So our questions is: Are you getting your “First pick or second two?”

If so, great! Time to move forward from “I will” to “I DO!” And have fun discovering the hidden gems of the next picks.

THE GUYS

We hope this post was somewhat helpful. Please leave your comments. We love hearing from you!!!