The Guy’s Perspective

Read article in: The Cleveland Plain Dealer or The MetroWest Daily

Pride in the uniform

By Saelen Ghose

In first grade I knew I was going to be a baseball player. I knew it in my bones and I knew it in my mind. And if you stood close enough to me, you could smell the scent of leather, dirt, and grass oozing from my pores.

The only conclusion I can come to as to why I believed I was headed for the “bigs” was the uniform. Something about that special outfit made me think I actually belonged in baseball’s elite fraternity. I can certainly see it in my own children as the don their uniforms with such pride it makes me smile inwardly. It transforms them and makes them feel special.

Spring is upon us, and baseball and other sports activities have started for many of our kids. And in some circles, youth sports get a bad rap. It is true that sometimes the balance between just being a kid, and becoming the next professional athlete, can get thrown out of whack. But playing sports can also teach important life lessons, and contribute to physical well-being.

As part of a team our kids learn how to contribute AND be accountable. They learn how to lose gracefully and win even more gracefully. They learn actual athletic skills. They get exercise. They deal with the gamut of emotions that sports bring. And they hopefully have fun.

As a kid I didn’t want to limit these feelings to just the ball field, so when my parents gave me my very own uniform, the summer before first grade, I decided come fall, I was going to wear that uniform every single day to school.

In fact, and this is the complete truth, I did wear that baseball uniform to school every day! I mean, every single day!! On Fridays I would hide the uniform in my bottom drawer of my dresser for fear that if I put it in the dirty clothes bin, it would not be washed and ready for school on Monday.

For some reason I never noticed that all the grass and dirt stains were gone every Monday. My mom later told me that she used to sneak in and grab the uniform and wash it every weekend, and then carefully put it back right where I had hidden it. That’s very funny to think about now.

But what’s really amazing is that my parents actually let me wear that uniform every day. I mean, what did the other parents think?! Did my folks have to endure the stares and recriminations of other parents at the school? Or maybe they just didn’t give a hoot. Good for them I say if that’s the case.

What I take from my parent’s example is, let kids be kids. As a parent I need to learn how to separate from them. I need to be able to just sit back and soak them in. I need to understand that they are going to make mistakes and that’s part of how they learn. And I need to be involved, even if it’s just by observing, because the days may go very slowly, but the years pass ever so quickly.

So let’s enjoy our kids this spring. Let’s enjoy them as they laugh with pure joy at reaching first base, even though they got there by a “Base on Balls.” And let’s enjoy them as they score a goal, even though they play in a league with no goalies. Or let’s just enjoy the fact that they’re happy and enjoying the moment, and not worry whether they’re properly preparing to get a Division 1 scholarship. And finally let’s enjoy them as they wear their uniforms with pride, understanding they are a part of a team; something bigger than themselves.

But as I watch my kids, I’ll also be thinking about my uniform. It represented unbridled love, passion, and all the possibilities life had in store for me. I can still to this day, feel every fiber of that uniform. And as I close my eyes, smiling and remembering, a few layers of stress fall away, still smelling like leather, grass, and hope.

_____________________________

What is your opinion on youth sports?

Do you have a special childhood memory that you’re reminded of when your kids play sports?

The Parent Gig Episode 6: Pride in the uniform [ 4:39 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

The Rundown:

Pet Peeves: Babies at the movies. Cell phones.

Ask the Guys: Is technology making us dumber?

Father Stories: Our friend Lovy reflects on her father.

Stream of Consciousness: Summer, Computers, and Guinea Pigs

The Meat: Curse of the Nice Guy

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TGP Episode 5: The Curse of the Nice Guy...and more! [ 42:48 ] Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Happy Fourth of July!

Written by “One of the Guys”

Summer holds a sacred place in the hearts of men. The warmth changes our perception. We feel empowered to turn possibility into reality. We play as if life weren’t as complicated as it is. We act like children, exploring the endless adventure that summer is. Beaches. Mountains. Bike Trails. Ball games. Amusement Parks. Bars. Barbecues.

As we prepare for our adventures, we lather on sunscreen, trying to prevent the streams of wear and tear on our faces from turning into rivers. We don a hat and the coolest pair of sunglasses we can afford, throw every possible accessory we might need into the trunk of our car, and head out to discover what we can discover. Or more aptly put, be open for what might discover us.

Summer is the season for improv. It’s the time we let life lead us instead of forcing the issue. And that alone makes it special.

But not me. No, my summer looks quite different from that. I’ll be doing Daddy Day Camp.

When I realized that I would be home with my kids all day,  I went into a panic. Yes, I love my kids unconditionally. I spend my days and nights trying to figure out ways to enrich their lives. But spending twelve hours a day, five days a week with three active kids was not something I was ready for.

I knew I would need some structure, so I formulated a plan in the form of Daddy Day Camp. If you’re not familiar with this term, it’s really quite simple. When dealing with three kids who specialize in being hungry all the time, forgetting to use the bathroom when it’s available, fighting over anything and everything, and throwing their stuff all over the house, you need something to stop this endless cycle.

My wife said, “Just get one of those big blow up pools. You know, the kind big enough to actually swim in. They can play in that all summer.”

I said, “But that would mean I have to supervise the whole time. That kind of  defeats the purpose really. I need stuff for them to do so I can get some of my own work done. I need more balance.”

She said, “Good luck with that.”

“Thanks Honey.”

So I instituted Daddy Day Camp.

The first day the kids and I had a meeting, where I handed out the daily agenda.

My middle guy said, “Dad this is summer. You’re not the boss of us. We get to do what we want!”

I said, “Where did you hear that nonsense? I’m the boss until you turn eighteen, or until you’re big enough to ignore me and then back it up. For now let’s go over the agenda.”

Number 1. Wake up. Eat a healthy breakfast without complaining.

Number 2. Practice piano, karate and anything else dad says to do.

(Kids are already rolling their eyes.)

Number 3. Tennis lessons with me. (They have that “OH NO” look.)

Number 4. Read. Draw. Or do something quiet so dad can work.

Number 5. Lunch.

(By now their eyes are coming out of their heads.)

Number 6. Quiet time in your rooms so dad can work. (They’re glancing at each other, so I have to throw them a bone.)

Number 7. Wii time. (Only if you’ve been quiet with no fighting.) (Yeah, right!)

Number 8. Play a sport or go on a field trip.

Number 9. Free time. Hang out time. Relax time.

Number 10. Early dinner.

Kids: Dad, this is going to be the worst summer ever!!

Me: Why, what’s wrong with the plan? It sounds fun to me.

Kids: It’s terrible.

Me: What’s wrong with it? You get to do a lot of cool stuff. We’ll check out some museums. We’ll go to the arboretum. We’ll play sports. I don’t see the problem.

Kids: The problem is, this is not what summer is about!!

Me: No? Well please enlighten me.

Kids: Summer is about fun. It’s about doing nothing. It’s about sitting in front of the TV or playing video games. It’s about shooting baskets without being instructed on the proper way to shoot a jump shot. It’s about us, not you.

Me: Hmm…..You make some good points there. But I’m going to have to veto all of them.

Kids: What? We don’t even know what that means.

Me: It means let’s get started. Number 1. Start eating!

So I hope all of you readers have a great summer. And please do me a favor. Think of me while you sip a cold drink of water, viewing a beautiful sunset, sitting on a vast mountaintop. I’ll be home, unshowered, dealing with the endless cycle of kids.

How do you achieve balance in the summer?

Any ideas? Thoughts? Help??