The Guy’s Perspective

THE GUYS have worked hard to be fair, honest and thoughtful when writing all of our posts. That’s been our trademark since we launched this site. And that’s what has attracted our readers to us.

But we also don’t believe difficult topics should be ignored, as you read in our three posts about “Cheating.” We offered three different perspectives coming from three different sets of experiences. A tough topic indeed, but one that invited positive dialogue and resulted in many questions submitted to us.

This is what we’re about. Creating a forum for discussion that lends itself to growth and understanding. But it doesn’t always work out that way based on the comments section in our most recent post. (We pulled it. A business decision, not an editorial one.)

Differing opinions, even when direct, harsh, strong or unadulterated are part of all of us. We don’t have to look further than Washington to witness this in  its full blown glory. If you turn on the TV or radio, or pick up a paper or magazine, you’ll see it. It’s everywhere. It’s part of us. We have opinions, strong opinions and we all want to voice them.

We stand behind our guest writers. They brought a topic to our attention that we thought might be interesting to explore, so we gave our opinion and offered space for our two guests to give their opinions. Their opinions were different than ours, but we felt it was a good thing for our readers to get a taste of varying perspectives. Isn’t it better to be in the know, than not?

The last thing we’ll say is, guys in general have been called every name in the book. Meathead, bozo, dickhead, asshole, etc. We’ve been stereotyped in every sitcom as lazy, not very good at listening and not in touch with our feelings. We laugh right along with these jokes because even though we’re guys, that’s NOT US! Somehow we always have the sense it’s the other guy they’re making fun of.

THE GUYS

Conflict is part of every relationship. No two people are going to agree on everything. Sure, we’d like to find someone who is on the same page as us when it comes to children, religion, politics or our favorite sports team. But that is only the tip of the iceberg. There’s still plenty to argue about; think money and sex.

For many years we’ve all heard that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. And that may be true, but it’s not the reason people have conflicts in their relationships. It’s more often about HOW the two people argue and whether it’s constructive or not. When it’s not, often there’s a grudge holder in the mix that has a hard time letting go.

So what constitutes fighting badly?

1. Getting off topic and bringing up the past.

Dragging old arguments into new ones is just bad, bad, bad. But so easy to do! Politicians are good at this.

2. Comparing the other person to someone they know you don’t like.

This is will escalate the discussion into a fight faster than you can say……Dick Cheney.

3. Hurling insults or swears.

Like calling each other a Sarah Palin. There’s no reconciliation after you go rogue.

4. Constantly cutting off the other person to make your point. Or basically not listening.

Or you could call this “Rush Limbaughing” to judgement.

5. Holding a grudge.

Hmmm……..I’m not even going there on this one.

By the time you get to number 5, the discussion/argument/fight is over for one person, but not the other. The second person clings to the problem obsessively, preferring to be right over resolving the conflict. Sometimes, this only lasts for a short while and they they come to their senses. Sometimes it goes on forever and it gets brought up in the next argument, and so on.

This is the kind of argument that goes on in Washington every day. Bad fighting and grudge holding run in perpetual motion 365 days of the year. But we actually now have a president who’s trying to break the cycle and get down to the basic task of fixing this broken country. It’s a shame both sides can’t just work together.

And although, I stand behind the president, there are many on both sides who won’t let go of some of their grudges. For change to happen and problems to be solved, we need at least some of these people to forgive and forget.

But if that can’t happen, we can at least do our best to take care of our own business. We can take care of our little kingdoms scattered across this country. Because in actuality, we aren’t from Venus or Mars, but from this little planet called Earth.

ALL OF US!

THE GUYS