The Guy’s Perspective

A recent question came in from a high school girl wondering what constituted being creepy. She was worried that her shyness around some guy she liked might be perceived as creepy. Well we can set the record straight. That’s far from creepy. Typically teenage girls don’t fall into the creepy category.  They certainly don’t make our list. Her situation sounds more like a young person trying to figure out how to navigate the rough social waters of high school.

Okay we’ll give her that……the whole high school experience can feel kind of creepy in general.

So what or whom would be considered creepy?

Hmm………………..

Well, let’s see what Webster says first.., (flip pages….ahh here it is.)

1) Having or causing a feeling of fear or disgust.

Well that’s pretty basic, and pretty telling. We would say that teenage girls don’t fall into the fear or disgust category.

So what does?

Spiders, insects, the usual ensemble of bugs, and crawly things. In terms of bugs, we define creepy as anything we wouldn’t particularly like crawling on our skin. The list is too long.

So what else is creepy?

Clowns are often creepy as hell. And old men. And even worse, an old man dressed up in a clown costume, performing at a kid’s birthday party. That scenario gives us the shivers.

And what about Glen Close in that creepy movie. What was that called? Oh yeah, “Fatal Attraction.” Now she was creepy!

A lingering stare is kind of creepy, or being too helpful when it’s not asked for is definitely creepy.

Or how about just appearing out of nowhere? Imagine wherever you go, this same person just shows up when you turn around. Yikes, that gives us the willies.

Creepy is somewhere between uncomfortable and stalking. It’s more like “uneasy” or “unsettled.” It’s a sixth sense that says, something is not the way it should be. And this feeling is universal. Everyone knows what creepy is, it’s just different for each person.

Please leave us your list of one t0 five things, creatures, places, or people that creep you out. We’re going to make a universal list and share it on an upcoming podcast.

And for our young teenage friend we can just say, take off that hooded cloak and those skinny black jeans, and step out of the shadows and say something! We’re trying our best to keep you off our list!

THE GUYS

Dear Guys,
Well, I have a best friend who I really like, but I don’t know how to tell him. We have been talking a lot and I’ve been getting mixed signs from him. Like he’ll just step out of his way for nothing to try and get next to me or talk to me. It’s a bit more complicated than just that. He used to date my other best friend and I don’t know what to do. We don’t keep in touch like I do with the guy I like, but she and I still talk and I feel a bit guilty.

I really like this guy and I have a lot of trouble trying to get him to understand that since I’m really shy about my feelings especially if it’s concerning a guy I like. How can I tell him I like him without causing my friend to dislike me?

Thanks,

Adrastea

Dear Adrastea,

Thanks for writing.

Good for you for caring about your friend’s feelings. In this “ME FIRST” world, that’s refreshing to hear.

Here’s the bad news. If you want to pursue this guy, it’s possible you are going to upset your girlfriend. That’s not for certain, but it might happen.

If you’re feeling guilty, why don’t you call her up and ask her out to lunch. Talk with her. Tell her that you really like her ex, but you don’t want to ruin the friendship you have with her. She may not even care, especially if she’s moved on and is dating someone else. Either way she’ll appreciate your honesty and that you cared enough about her to let her know. We’re not saying ask for her permission. You don’t have to do that. But if you value the relationship you have with her, it’s worth talking to her.

Like we said, you can’t control other people’s reactions. If you spend your life worrying about how your actions impact everyone around you, you are going to be an unhappy camper. It’s great to be aware how your decisions affect others, but sometimes you just have to do what makes you happy. (We realize this goes against our original statement, but it’s all about finding the right balance.)

We’re sure you’ll do what’s right. You have a good heart Adrastea.

Good luck. And keep us posted.

THE GUYS