Posts Tagged ‘life’

Stream of Consciousness

Wednesday, March 3rd, 2010

This is part three of our miniseries, recognizing some of the sites we love. Check them out at the bottom of this post.

The first post we dipped back into time bringing you a piece of nostalgia from our childhood. “The Uniform”

The second post was all about expectations of that “coming of age” event called, “The Prom.”

Now from, “One of The Guys”

Well, this is going to be more of a stream of consciousness post. I’m just going to see where it goes. I like to do that sometimes. I might have a nugget of an idea, and then see how far I can develop it, similar to improvising on a theme when I play music. That’s what improvising is all about. Not knowing where the story is going, but still having some parameters to work with; basically the other musicians, the chord changes (if there are any) and the audience, because surely their enthusiasm or lack thereof dictates how the story is told.

And isn’t that the truth? Isn’t that what life is like? What being a person on this planet is like? One Big Blessed Improv Routine!! I mean seriously. We don’t know what the hell we’re really doing, where we’re going, what’s right, what’s wrong, who we really are. In fact by the time we THINK we’ve kind of figured it all out, we know the story is just about to conclude, and there’s no way to alter the ending.

I think about this a lot when I’m at home dealing with my kids. I try to give them parameters to work with, but I can’t control their own story as much as I’d like to sometimes. Why do I want to control it? Because this world is a scary place. And the older I get the scarier I think it is. Now don’t get me wrong. I work hard to see the beauty in all of it too, and I try not to let my fears paralyze me, or my kids. But now that I do have a family, life somehow seems more precarious, more fragile.

I remember being a bold teen, walking down the city streets alone, and not being scared of anything. Ignorance is bliss.

BUT NOW?

Now, the freaking squirrels scare the crap out of me. I think to myself, if one of those little ferocious beasts actually attacked me or the kids, I don’t think I could fight it off. Seriously! Could you? What if all the squirrels in the world decided to attack at once? We’d all be TOAST!

What does this mean besides that I’m nuts?

It means that we all have to trust in “the order of the universe.” Trust that the sun will come up…..at least occasionally where I live. Trust that darkness will come so we can rest. Trust that our kids will learn their own lessons and grow from them. And trust that the damn squirrels will stick to the trees.

So as I navigate through this world, it’s clear to me that I’m not alone. That no matter how nutty my thoughts are, I know I can just search, “Nutty Thoughts” on the web and find about a million people who think exactly as I do. (I’m not sure if that’s comforting or not, but it’s still amazing)

So what’s the lesson.?

We need to stick together, that’s what. We need to try to understand one another and realize that we all have so much more in common than we don’t.  We need to realize we all care about our families and we all want our kids to grow up and be happy and have opportunities. We all want to sit back and watch a game and root for our team without being castigated or threatened. We want the simple things too. A nice meal with a friend OR by ourselves. A quiet time to think. A good run, or walk. A night out to watch a concert. Some alone time with our honey. Or maybe time to read a cool blog, or find some cool new app on our iphone. (I don’t have one yet) We all just want to live and enjoy the time while we are here. Have fun. And maybe try to figure out where we’re headed after our time is up on this planet earth. Or maybe not.

Sure we’re all unique and that’s what makes this place so damn cool! But until we start acknowledging our similarities, we can’t celebrate our differences, to use a common PC expression. (Don’t get me started about being PC)

And let’s be honest, who the hell isn’t scared shitless of squirrels?

Take some time to check out these great sites. They cover all the things you might be interested in: Politics, Art, Philosophy, Religion,Parenting, Travel, and lots of humor! Enjoy!

Ask Cherlock

Astronomy for Everyone

A Little Girl Talk

Out of Context: Pieces for a Life (aphorisms)

Artistry Infaux

Applause for a Cause

Decaffeinated Coffee

Footsteps (Travels and Journeys)

Jeans Musings

Mad Kane

SuperMommy to the Rescue

Sugar Snow

Superficial Gallery

TJ Lubrano

The Suss

Virtual Synapses

Writing to Survive

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Posted in Current Affairs, Essays, Humor, Ideas, guys, relationships | 35 Comments »

The Balancing Act of an Artist

Wednesday, January 27th, 2010

From “ONE of THE GUYS”

When people ask me what I do, I say, “It’s simple. Imagine a jar filled with rocks. The jar is everyday life, the rocks are my kids and my wife.”

“But what about you?” they say.

“I am the sand that gets poured in to fill all the cracks,” I say.

And you know what, that’s exactly what it’s like! I am a musician, writer, and teacher. Basically an artist as one would define it. This pursuit allows me a lot of flexibility in my schedule, so I’m able to make our busy lives a little less crazed, and metaphorically “fill the jar.”

To be an artist and do it “right” you have to immerse yourself in your chosen field, whether it’s composition, painting, writing, pottery, performance or whatever. You have to live and breathe your art. And you have to be open enough to say yes to every possible opportunity. If you don’t allow yourself the freedom to go on tour, or work whenever the muse hits, or move to a new city because you found a better environment to do your work in, you have to figure out a way to enjoy the small victories.

I’ve chosen to live a more “normal” life; one with a family that I actually spend time with on a regular basis. So I am not doing it “right.” In fact, being a  father and husband is diametrically opposed to being a true artist, mainly because of the time and commitment constraints. So, I’m forced to become as malleable as a young child’s mind and say yes to every little job that comes my way. Like this to a prospective student:

“Sure I can teach you. What time? 2am? No problem, I’ll be there after my gig.” When I say yes to something like that, I feel like a cheap whore, willing to turn any trick just to make a buck.

I would argue that anyone who’s living through, or has lived through, the trials, victories and defeats of raising children has much to bring to his or her art. It’s just that there is no time to actually bring it. Sure, some people can do it, but it’s not easy, and it feels contrived somehow to try and fit it in. That doesn’t sound very romantic and certainly is not what a “real” artist would do. A “real” artist sleeps until whenever. Works all day. Meets up with the rest of the local artists at the cafe in the late afternoon. And then after drinks and discussions, resumes working until the wee hours of the morning.

Of course I know that’s total BS and just the way I envision it to be. The world really isn’t like that anymore. The reality is, living costs money, and whether you have kids or not, the bills need to be paid and food has to be bought. So maybe, doing it “right” is all a matter of perception. Hmm…….

So fine, I can live with small victories. A cool gig here and there. A fun recording session; that actually pays! Some great comments here on The Guy’s Perspective, or releasing a CD or book. Because I don’t write this out of bitterness. I made my choices and I’m generally happy with them. I love my family and wouldn’t trade them to be famous.

But damn, it does seem like every time I have something interesting scheduled, something comes up with my kids, my family or just life in general. I mean it’s uncanny, like the fates are conspiring against me.

I know many of you reading this are also struggling with balancing your artistic endeavors with your domestic responsibilities. How do you make it all work? How do you balance things? Do you feel like a cheap whore too?

Well gotta run. Master calls. I got a sick kid who’s ringing the bell for me. Ahh, the life of an artist. Isn’t it grand?


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Posted in Essays, Ideas, guys, relationships | 26 Comments »

Your Internal GPS

Sunday, December 6th, 2009

Ever wondered what drives you? What helps you make those difficult decisions? Or takes you to places that are full of wonderment and beauty?  Or lands you at a party you shouldn’t be at or hanging with the wrong crowd?

It’s your internal GPS. That’s right, we all have one. But some people listen and others don’t.

Every GPS is different and decisions are unique to each individual. We know life is about exploring dead ends and learning from them, but it’s also, figuring out when to say no. Let’s go for a ride together through the stages of life.

This skit was written with two female characters, but it still comes from The Guy’s Perspective……..because we know GUYS!

Two teenage girls.

Friend: Hey, do you want to go to this party later?

You: Sure, who’s having it.

Friend: Oh, just a bunch of guys.

You: How do you know them?

Friend: Well, I just met them actually. Last night. They seem like a lot of fun.

You: Hmm, well, OK, that sounds fun.

GPS: Recalculating……recalculating……..do not leave house.

Your friend comes to pick you up. You get in car.

You: Are they cute?

Friend: Oh god yes.

GPS: Recalculating…..recalculating…….drive 10.5 miles to the movie theater or to the video store and go home.

You: Let’s do it.

GPS: Recalculating……drive 5 miles back to friend’s house.

You ignore!

Friend: We’re here.

You: Looks kind of crazy.

Friend: Yeah, but it will be fun.

GPS: Recalculating……recalculating……….please drive away. NOW!!!

You and friend knock on the door. Four guys answer drinking beers with loud music blaring. You look at each other.

GPS: (quietly) I told you……

You both look at each other and realize this might have been a mistake. Close call! You leave.

Fast forward ten years. You’re about to get married.

Friend: You must be so excited. You’re getting married in two weeks!

You: I guess so.

Friend: What’s wrong? You sound so…..

You: I’m starting to wonder if this was a big mistake.

GPS: Recalculating…….drive……anywhere

Friend: Oh it’s too late for second guesses.

You: Yeah I know.

Day of wedding.

GPS: Arriving at wrong destination on right.

You: I just can’t do it.

Friend: But all the presents. What will people think?

You: I don’t care.

GPS: Why didn’t you listen to me two years ago?

You: Oh shut up GPS before I reprogram you.

Five years later. You married the ONE in a quiet ceremony with just family. You are happy.

Husband: I thought you said you wanted kids?

You: I do, but I’m just not ready. We don’t have any money.

Husband: We’ll figure it out.

You: I’m just not ready.

GPS: Just drive. Stop worrying. I’ll get you there.

You: I just don’t know.

GPS: Recalculating. Just go for it.

You: What if we can’t take care of it.

GPS: You’ll figure it out. Drive. Undetermined miles. That’s weird. I don’t see a destination. I’ll have to get back to you.

THE GUYS would love to hear examples of when you listened, or didn’t listen to your own GPS. Thanks for sharing.

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Posted in Essays, Relationship Advice: Question/Answer, relationships | 13 Comments »