Dating Website on Husband’s Email

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Dear Guys,

I saw on my husband’s e-mail on his phone, that he had pictures of women from a dating website, called match dot com. It specifically showed women in our area of the city for dating. I deleted them. A few days later, I checked again and there were more. So, I asked him about them and if he had joined a dating service. He said that he had not and these just show up on his e-mail. He said he reports them as spam. At the time, he also had photo’s from messenger of women naked and clothed. I deleted them also. He said his buddies send them through messenger. So, I checked the match dot com website myself and it does ask for your e-mail to join. But could it be true, that these ads just showed up randomly on his e-mail?? Can this actually happen? This caused a big rift in our marriage. Infidelity is a big deal breaker for me.

Nicolette

Dear Nicolette,

We understand your concern. So we’ll start with a few questions for your to consider.

Do you generally trust your husband?

Is this the first time you’ve wondered about his behavior?

Why were you checking his phone in the first place? Does he hide things from you?

The thing is Nicolette, sorry if this seems that we’re skirting the issue, but we can’t give you a definitive answer. We guess it’s possible that his phone could have gotten a virus, or that he accidentally clicked on a link that signed him up for some dating site, but honestly, that does seem a bit of a stretch. (Although, we’ve heard of crazier things happening in the world.) But since we don’t know him personally we wouldn’t want to condemn him based on limited facts.

That said, this is about listening to your gut. Do you think his explanation is plausible? Or is this part of a pattern of behavior? Once again, think about the questions above and see what you think.

Whatever you decide, you might want to keep your eyes open for a while and just observe.

Take care,

THE GUYS

ps. If you want to have a more in-depth discussion you might consider our Private Service. Read testimonials on our Relationship Advice/Coaching page.

 

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