My boyfriend thinks he can say or do whatever he wants. His boss tells him to not play his speaker at work, he does it anyways. Someone tells him to not swear around them, he gets mad. Someone is complaining about life on Facebook, he needs to tell them to stop acting like a child. His reason? Because someone has to tell them and people need to stop being so sensitive. At least that is what he thinks.
Is this a red flag? We have dated for two years and this has always been a thing. I always pushed it to the back of my mind because like he said, “People need to stop being so sensitive.” So, I thought I was one of those people, but it really bothers me. He won’t listen when I tell him I don’t agree with his mentality on this. I don’t know… is it a red flag?
You know how you know this is a red flag? Because it’s bothered you for two years and that feeling is not going away. Not only that, you’ve spoken to him about it, and instead of accepting your feedback he makes it seem like it’s your problem. So you tell us. Is it a red flag or not?
Ask yourself three questions:
1. Am I going to all of a sudden think this type of behavior is okay? (Probably Not)
2. Is he ever going to be open to changing this behavior? (Unlikely)
3. If nothing changes do I still want to be with him? (Only you can answer that.)
So what do we think of his behavior? Well, we understand that there are two sides to every story, and he’s not here to give his side, so we’re just going to assume that you’re giving us an accurate picture. Based on the various scenarios you’ve described his behavior vacillates between annoying to downright offensive and everything in between. It sounds like the behavior of a young, immature, and somewhat entitled person who takes it upon himself to police other people’s behavior, when in fact, it should be his own behavior that he’s policing. So, yes, we could see how this would bother you.
So obviously he must have some great qualities that offset this negative quality. And so it comes down to whether or not the pros outweigh the cons. Do they? How are you feeling about it?
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Anyone looking for a fun, but educational read, check out our ebook on Amazon, “Inside Your Guy’s Mind.” We address lots of different topics. Long distance relationships. Friends with Benefits. Cheating. Porn. Male priorities. Break ups. Sex. Respect. And much, much more.
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