Is My Boyfriend’s Behavior a Red-Flag?

Dear Guys,

My boyfriend thinks he can say or do whatever he wants. His boss tells him to not play his speaker at work, he does it anyways. Someone tells him to not swear around them, he gets mad. Someone is complaining about life on Facebook, he needs to tell them to stop acting like a child. His reason? Because someone has to tell them and people need to stop being so sensitive. At least that is what he thinks.

Is this a red flag? We have dated for two years and this has always been a thing. I always pushed it to the back of my mind because like he said, “People need to stop being so sensitive.” So, I thought I was one of those people, but it really bothers me. He won’t listen when I tell him I don’t agree with his mentality on this. I don’t know… is it a red flag?

Brittney

Dear Brittney,

You know how you know this is a red flag? Because it’s bothered you for two years and that feeling is not going away. Not only that, you’ve spoken to him about it, and instead of accepting your feedback he makes it seem like it’s your problem. So you tell us. Is it a red flag or not?

Ask yourself three questions:

1. Am I going to all of a sudden think this type of behavior is okay? (Probably Not)

2. Is he ever going to be open to changing this behavior? (Unlikely)

3. If nothing changes do I still want to be with him? (Only you can answer that.)

So what do we think of his behavior? Well, we understand that there are two sides to every story, and he’s not here to give his side, so we’re just going to assume that you’re giving us an accurate picture. Based on the various scenarios you’ve described his behavior vacillates between annoying to downright offensive and everything in between. It sounds like the behavior of a young, immature, and somewhat entitled person who takes it upon himself to police other people’s behavior, when in fact, it should be his own behavior that he’s policing. So, yes, we could see how this would bother you.

So obviously he must have some great qualities that offset this negative quality. And so it comes down to whether or not the pros outweigh the cons. Do they? How are you feeling about it?

Have we answered your question. If not, let us know. Or if you have any follow-up questions, leave them in the comments below.

Take care,

THE GUYS

Anyone looking for a fun, but educational read, check out our ebook on Amazon, “Inside Your Guy’s Mind.” We address lots of different topics. Long distance relationships. Friends with Benefits. Cheating. Porn. Male priorities. Break ups. Sex. Respect. And much, much more.

As always we appreciate five star reviews!!! 🙂 Thank you!

 

 

2 Comments on Is My Boyfriend’s Behavior a Red-Flag?

  1. Hey guys,

    I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 3 years and every so often he will ignore me and give me the cold shoulder. This time it was over something minuscule (he told me to shut up and stop texting via text and I stood up for myself and told him he couldn’t speak to me like that). He’s ignored me for 1 whole day now. He insulted me and told me to get lost and that I pester him, don’t shut up and that he’s sick of me. I know he’s been under stress at work but it’s no excuse. I’ve beside myself because of this happening just before Christmas. I’ve reached out and asked if he wants to stay together to no avail. I reached out again today and told him I couldn’t read his mind and that we needed to communicate.

    My friends all say to drop him but it’s harder than that for me. Not sure why he’s treating me like this…

  2. @Jemma…..We’re sorry. To be honest, whatever he’s doing, he’s not being respectful towards you. And FYI: Work stress is NOT an excuse to treat someone like that. You’re just making excuses for his behavior. Think about what you want from a relationship and ask yourself if you’re getting that. You deserve to be with someone who loves and respects you the way you love and respect them. Don’t settle for less. ps. You might want to pick up our ebook, Inside your Guy’s mind on Amazon. It’s full of a lot of good info on guys, and it’s a fun read. (So we’ve been told. And fast.)

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