Bob the Vegan: The Boss

Bob and Torrie at Bob's house.

Bob: So what do you mean you're not getting your needs met? That sounds kind of ominous.

Torrie: No, I don't mean like that.

Bob: Well, what do you mean?

Torrie: First of all you're never available anymore. And when you are, we never go out!!

Bob: Torrie, I have a new job that I like. I'm lucky to have one in this economy, so I'm doing everything I can to keep it.

Torrie: I thought you were a vegan. How can you work in a coffee shop?

Bob: Vegans can drink coffee, they just can't put milk in it.

Torrie: Well what about the sandwiches you serve? Those aren't vegan. Doesn't that bother you?

Bob: Well we also offer sandwiches that are vegan. I'm trying to make the place as progressive as possible. The owner really likes the direction I'm taking it and he says business has never been better.

Torrie: Well, I'd watch him as well. He's after you too.

Bob: What are you talking about? Thomas isn't gay.

Torrie: Oh please, he's totally gay.

Bob: How do you know?

Torrie: How do I know? I'll give you three examples. One: He calls himself Thomas instead of Tom. Two: I know for a fact he prefers a bath over a shower. Three: He has a membership to Remy's Gym. And you know the rumors about that place.

Bob: How do you know all this stuff?

Torrie: Well, I, um…….

Bob: Torrie????

Torrie: OK fine, I've been following him.

Bob: What!!! You've been following him?

Torrie: Yeah, I've been following him.

Bob: I can't believe this. Really? Why?

Torrie: Please, I've seen the way he looks at you. I wanted to find out if my suspicions were true.

Bob: Wow, I'm shocked.

Torrie: Well, it seems like you've got a bunch of admirers over there.

Bob: Torrie, it's just that one customer and he's totally harmless. Not Thomas. And even if Thomas is gay, he's totally professional and totally cool. I like him. He's become a friend.

Torrie: Yeah right. A friend with benefits.

Bob: Is that what this is all about? When you say you're not getting your needs met that's really just you being jealous?? Over my boss? Who's a guy? Even though you know I love you. (Pause) You know what, I'm beginning to wonder.

Torrie: Oh you are??!! Well, I'll have you know that I've got a lot of admirers too.

Bob: I bet you do.

Torrie: Yes I do. You'd be surprised at how many guys take my Step Class.

Bob: Well that's news to me. Are you threatening me?

Torrie: Nope, I'm just saying I have admirers too.

Bob: That sounds like a threat. I thought we were well beyond this kind of interaction. I'm sorry I haven't been around much or paying that much attention to you, but I'm trying hard to focus on myself and my career. It's exciting, don't you understand that?

Torrie: Yes, but there has to be a balance.

Bob: Yes, but balance is created over a long period of time. I agree, it's a little out of whack right now. But that's how things work. You've been talking about going back to school. Well if you do, you'll be extremely busy and that's the way it will be. You'll have no choice and you'll expect me to be supportive. Well, that's what I'm expecting, or I should say, hoping, you'll be now. (Pause) But please, don't threaten me. That's just not good for our relationship. And it doesn't work for me at all. (pause) (Sighs) Even though I'm pretty pissed, I will say to you that you don't have anything to worry about with my boss, any guy or any other girl for that matter. So enough already. Don't you trust me?

Torrie: You're right. Damn, I just get so worked up. I'm sorry Bob. I do trust you, more than anyone I've ever been with, but you know how I am with trust in general.

Bob: We can work on that together, but you need to work on that by yourself too. Maybe there's someone you could talk to?

Torrie: You mean a therapist?

Bob: Maybe. I mean anyone. Sometimes it's good to get another opinion and some objective insight.
It's something to think about.

Torrie: OK. I will think about it. But for now, how about helping me with some of my other needs?

Bob: Sounds good to me. Come here you! I do have one need in particular that requires your special attention.

Torrie: Yum!!! I'm glad I'm not a vegan.

1 Comment on Bob the Vegan: The Boss

  1. Maybe you didn’t mean the last part dirty, but now I have “Mary Mo” in my head. You know the song that goes, “She don’t eat meat, but she sure likes the bone” from the 90’s. Maybe that’s Torrie’s middle name, LOL.

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