My boyfriend of two years plays wingman to friends and pretends to be single, but swears he has no intentions of sleeping with other women. He also has a hidden POF account, but I set up a fake profile and it shows dates/times he logs in. He claims the site is inaccurate and refuses to delete his account.
My instinct and family and friends tell me he is no good and these are all red flags. He claims he wants to marry me one day. Does he sound like a cheater? And am I naive?
If you were naive you wouldn’t be writing to us and asking these questions. Maybe you don’t want to believe your gut because you care about him, but it’s not because you’re in the dark about what’s going on.
We agree with your friends and family, AND with your instincts. These are major red flags. But let’s for a moment, indulge your boyfriend and come up with a scenario that might warrant him becoming a wingman. Maybe a desperate friend meets the woman of his dreams and begs his friend, your boyfriend, to help him out because no one else is available. Even if this were the case, a considerate and committed boyfriend would come to you and explain the scenario and tell you that it’s a one time thing and that he’s only doing it to help a friend. And even in this scenario, he shouldn’t pretend he’s single.
However, that’s a far cry from just going out with his boys, and being a wingman as his friends try to pick up women, AND then to top if off, act as if he’s single. Not Cool. And Not Okay. Red Flag.
And as far as his profile on POF. Do we even have to say it? Major Red Flag!!! There’s no good reason for him to be on there. Zero.
We don’t advise people what to do, but it does seem that you have all the info you need to make the best decision for yourself. That doesn’t mean it will be easy. But just because something’s difficult doesn’t mean it’s the wrong decision.
You take care,
ps. If you’d like more information about how guys think, then check our our new ebook on Amazon, “Inside your Guy’s Mind.”