He says his romantic life is not important


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Dear Guys,

This guy I’m dating says his romantic life is not a priority because he has been hurt so much from his soon to be ex… . He has been separated from his wife for four years, even though she messaged me not long ago and said her husband still sleeps with her and he has two other women he sees.

So does he really mean that his romantic life is not a priority or am I just kidding myself thinking that he really wants to be with me long term? Because we have wonderful out of this world sex. I am 58 he is 52 I have been a widow for 18 yrs and not dated anyone for the last 10.

When I first met this guy I thought he was already divorced. I met him through a mutual friend when I was looking for a good mechanic. I only see him one night a week and we don’t go out together. Instead, he comes to see me at my place and we spend the night having 5D Orgasms that last all night long. Do you see why I don’t want to give him up. I’ve never had that kind of sexual experience. But its all about the sex isn’t it???


Dear Debra,

Well, given the fact that you only see him one night a week and he hasn’t tried to see you more, and the fact that he makes a point of telling you that romance is not a priority for him, and given the fact that he’s not yet divorced but sleeping around, we’d say, yeah, more than likely, your assumption is correct. He’s there for the sex. At this juncture, we’d recommend lowering your expectations and just enjoy what you have together. (Although, if he is sleeping around, we hope your using appropriate precautions.)

That said, it’s unclear how he’s going to feel once he’s actually divorced. (If that happens.) Most newly divorced guys are not looking to jump back into a long-term relationship. However, they are looking to make up for lost time. Meaning, many try to have as much sex as possible with as many women as they can. But that’s not always the case. So if you really are happy with the current arrangement, then why not wait it out and see what happens. Maybe give yourself a “soft end date” and reevaluate then.

Thoughts? Follow-up questions?

Take care,


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