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My ex and I broke up a year ago. We’ve kept in touch over that time except for six weeks when I didnt text him. He has new girlfriend that he says he sometimes lives with and possibly sees a future with. (If she stays on the path she’s on now. He’s not sure because she has some issues.)
But he wants a Friends with Benefits fling with me, pointing out that, that’s how it started the first time. He says he does care, but that I pushed him away with neediness. Now he wants to see how it goes this time.
My friends say dump his butt, but my gut says he does care. I date, but can’t seem to get him out of my head.
Am I fooling myself? Am I being played? I’d appreciate any insight you can give me
We just want to make sure we have this right. Your boyfriend left you because you were needy, and now he’s with another woman who he thinks he has a future with, but he still wants to have sex with you. Is that about the gist of it?
Now how does that sound to you?
We have to say that we completely AGREE with your friends. Normally we don’t like to tell people what to do because it’s important that people come to their own conclusions, but we get the sense that you’re having difficulty seeing this clearly.
So we’ll spell it out for you:
- Your ex-boyfriend is a player.
- He’s preying on your emotions, giving you just enough to believe that you might have a chance with him.
- You do realize he would be cheating on his current girlfriend with you.
- Which also means, what would stop him from cheating on you if you were together?
As far as your current dating issues. Clearly you’re not open to other guys at the moment. But maybe this will help. We DO NOT see a future with your ex-boyfriend. If he wanted a future with you he wouldn’t have left in the first place. He would tried to help you work through your issues. And is it possible, that you were needy because you didn’t TRUST him? Maybe your gut was telling you something but you ignored it?
We are sorry Ann. We know this isn’t easy. It’s hard to let go of someone. The first step is to see it clearly. Once you do that, we think you’ll know what you need to do. Good luck!
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