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I’m feeling rather raw.
I’ve just been used for sex by my work colleague.
Even worse he lives with someone.
I found out last week.
He knew I wanted a relationship because I was clear from the start.
Now I have to face him every day.
I sent his girlfriend screenshots of him and his messages even asking me to marry him.
I’m hurt and feeling very used.
We are so, so sorry.
It’s okay to feel the deep emotions you’re feeling but don’t let them take you down. You trusted a man and he ended up betraying you. He did a shitty thing. But this is more about what he lacks rather than what you lack.
Here’s what we suggest. And obviously, this is completely up to you.
- When you see him around the office, instead of letting the negative emotions consume you, see if you can feel sorry for him. Why? Because honestly, he must be pretty insecure and sad to do what he did. And if not for him, for his girlfriend. You dodged a bullet. She didn’t.
- Reaching out to his girlfriend or being nervous around him just gives him power. See if you can get to a place where you keep your power and don’t surrender it to him.
- Focus on doing positive things, fun things. Surround yourself with positive people who care about you.
- Learn from this. Were there signs that you ignored? If not, reflecting back, what might you have done differently? Anything?
- Don’t let this change who you are and make you scared of having a relationship in the future. (Not all guys are like this.)
Hang in there and let us know if you any other follow-up questions.