Will he divorce his wife for me?

I'm seeing a guy who is married. He tells me that he is not doing well with his wife and is tired of fighting, and that I'm the first girl he has ever cheated on her with. I'm 24 year and he is 34. We have had sex only once. He used to spend time with me at least twice a week but now he says that he needs to finish other things. What should I do ?? End it or wait for him a bit longer to see if he really will get a divorce like he said the first time we went on a date? "Jennifer"

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10 Comments on Will he divorce his wife for me?

  1. Dear Guys,
    im stuck in a rut, even finding the words to describe my problem is difficult. i met my current boyfriend in eighth grade. we started “going out” toward the end of our freshman year we both attended the same high school although we didnt have any classes nor the same lunch together we did both have phones. we never hungout outside of school it was ALL texting. and from the very beginning a very bad habbit formed he would cheat, i would find out and break up with him then a few days later id take him back.
    Now the story changes a little, the first time we hung out was the end of sophmore year after taking a long break from one another. Since that day we were together every weekend up until summer when i basically lived with him and his family. the break we took during sophmore year i lost my virginity to my bestfriend so when it came to the summer that i spent with him he lost his virginity to me. everything was perfect he was the first boy i said i love you to and wether or not i ment it at the time it was still something special.
    After that what seemed to be perfect summer i moved two hours away to love with my dad. i called things off with him because i met someone new. and that first highschool boyfriend fough for me to come home to him and i didnt. we never lost contact with one another and after a year of him waiting for me to come home i finally did and by that time he was a different person. like usual we got back together. he took me back to his family (who wasnt to pleased with me after breaking their sons heart but they were still nice)everything was good until he cheated once again, i found out confronted the girl and broke up with him. the next time we got back together he started hiding it from his friends and family and continued to cheat this happened over and over, each time there was a different girl there was also a different story. so all his friends and family saw was a crazy ex-girlfriend who keep breaking up him and every girl he got with. what they didn’t know was that we never stopped seeing each other and it was him who was cheating which would cause the entire problem. all everyone saw was his side.

    i gave up, he gave up but like usual that didnt last long. he came right back with all the baby i love you’s and i want to be together and i took the bait.

    we are 18 now, still young but not little kids anymore and to top it off im 5 months pregnant. i have been fighting for this boy for 5 years now i know i caused him pain and heartache but i have never lied to him and am 100% faithful to him even if were not together and since i broke his heart all he has done is hide me from everyone like he is ashamed to be with me and whenever i bring it up he ignores me. i dont want to give up there has to be something i can do?

    what is your opinion on why he is this way and is there anything i can do?

  2. If he’s cheating on his wife with you, what makes you so certain he won’t cheat on you with someone else. Our suggestion: Move on and find someone closer to your age. And someone who isn’t married. Good luck. Please share our site with all of your friends. Thanks. Follow us on Twitter: @TGPBuzz. And come back and VOTE on new questions.

  3. Hi guys, here is my somewhat similar situation. Around a year ago I started noticing some guy in the same neighborhood I live and work. Seemed like we had the same routes and daily routines. We were going to the same stores, swimming pool, gym, community club, dry cleaning etc. at some point I got used to seeing him and started liking him. For the first few months we even have not said hi to each other though we both were checking each other out. Finally I decided that since he was out most of the evenings by himself doing some random staff, he didn’t have gf so I gave him green light to approach me by friendly smiles. First couple of conversations went perfect, with plenty of interest and questions from both side, quit a lot f compliments from him and also him mentioning that he wanted to talk to me from the begging he saw me but didn’t got a chance. Besides it appeared that we had a lot in common and really understood each other well. But here is a bummer. Since i got enough information about him to run a little “background Check” in google and social networks, I found out that he has a girl friend, they don’t live together but, They have been dating for four years. What confuses me is that I have seen few times this girl in the same salon and spa I go. she is porn magazine model, extremely shallow, lacks of any kind of intellect and education, is very bitchy, materialistic and snobby ( that’s an objective opinion formed before I knew that she was his gf and besides I am not the only one seeing that girl this way) and this guy is totally different, very educated intelligent, carrier oriented, considerate and seemed like he had a high moral values. But appears he is quit proud of her naked provocative pictures all over the Internet and is fine with her, grabbing random guys’ ( including his friends) asses, being excessively touchy and talking dirty with everyone. After that “discovery ” decided to forget about this guy.but since we kept running onto each other everywhere and he kept being perfectly great guy, my plan didn’t work out. So here starts my question, he ( lets call him A)has a gf and apparently no intention of Breaking up with her and at the same time he definitely looks and acts like he likes me. By that I mean that he always checks me out, enjoys talking with me, I catch him all the time staring at me when he thinks I don’t see it. A while ago I liked a new member of country club , me and A are members at and was spending a lot of time with this new guy. “A “become very aggressive and started making bitchy jokes about me hitting on every guy and shamelessly flirting around. Though I don’t get how my light flirting with one guy I like is considered hitting on everyone and her girlfriends compulsive ass grabbing and dirty talking is not. At the end things didn’t work out with this new guy and I am still attracted to”A” who still keeps being flirty and friendly, . At some point I decided to avoid and ignore “a” completely and was doing well but now he does everything to be around, talk to me (about some random meaningless staff)and get my attention, though he does not advance beyond that. So I am not sure what the hell he wants, he should be clueless and blind not to know that I have some sort of feelings about him, so why does not he let me avoid him and move on, or if he likes me why does not he do anything about that. My pride is getting Smashed by liking guy who is in a relationship with other women, besides I feel bad about even considering to steal a guy from another girl no matter how disgusting that girl can seem to me, but him being everywhere and acing like that makes it hard for me not to try to get him( of course that considers, him breaking up with that girl. )Okey and finally my question, do you guys have any idea why he acts like that, if it worth to give it a try or he is just enjoying being the object of my interest ,don’t really care about me and i should try harder to avoid him.Some additional info, he is 30, her gf is around the same age. I am 24. She (his gf)is sexy but not pretty, I am pretty but more of a cute type pretty. This guy is extremely Good looking, smart, successful, fun to be with and used to a lot of attention from girls. There are lots of other details too but this question is getting too long and not sure how much info do you guys need to answer my question.thanks!

  4. @Jessica….First of all you need to wait for him to initiate any kind of date or get together; which from the sound of it, could take a long time, if ever. It sounds like he’s attracted to you, and he enjoys talking with you, but that doesn’t mean he’s ready to leave his girlfriend for you. And from what you describe he seems perfectly happy with her. The best you could hope for now is some sort of fling with this guy. Of course we’re not recommending that, or even encouraging that, since that’s not really our style. But if he wants anything from you at this moment and time it’s that. So our suggestion: Be friendly, but keep your expectations to a minimum. And definitely don’t pursue him. That’s not a great idea on many levels. And then see what happens. If he hits on you and is still dating her that’s a red-flag. (If he cheats on her, he’ll cheat on you.) Best case scenario: He breaks up with her, is single for a while, then asks you out. However, we think you should see what else is out there. Be open to other guys and just keep this in your back pocket. Who knows what might happen down the road? Any more questions? Ask away. ps. We hope you’ll share our site with all of your friends. Follow us on Twitter; @TGPBuzz. And take a moment to help a fellow reader. Please VOTE on our Ask our Audience page. Thanks!

  5. Thanks guys for the quick response. I definitely was not going to pursue or ask him out. By give it a try I meant staying friendly and not cutting him off entirely. And fling for me is hardly something to hope for and completely share your statement that if he cheats with me he will cheat on me as well. Also I was wondering, if it’s possible for the same guy to be happy with totally different type of girls ( of course I don’t mean at the same time) in other words even if breaks up with his gf (what I hardly see happening any time soon)is he capable of being happy with me.(if anything works out, damn how many ifs are there :))As I mentioned below, I am not anything like his gf and not have any desire on intention to be similar to her in any ways. and since he has been with her for 4 years apparently he enjoys and is satisfied with whatever she has to offer. So what I am asking is that if I’ll be patient and the best case scenario works our, how likely is it that he will be expecting ( intentionally or unintentionally) me to act similar to his current gf and relationship to be similar to theirs. thanks again

  6. @Jessica…….Guys can absolutely like different type of women. So no, you don’t have to be a porn star for him to like you. Keep us posted and ask another question anytime. And thanks for sharing our site. Take care.

  7. Hi guys, thanks again for your responses and I’m back with farther question about the same guy. In a few days after I posted a question, I limited the interaction with him as much as it was possible, cause I was getting too attached to him. I totally changed my daily routine and was hardly ever seeing him. After a while I heard (from someone else, not from him) that he broke up with GF before Christmas time( not sure if his decision had anything to do with me) . A couple of weeks ago we ran into each other and grabbed lunch to catch up (he initiated). Since than we are hanging out, taking things slow (that’s my preference about which he seems to be fine with) Basically our “game plan” is that since we enjoy each others company ,we will get to know each other better and see where it takes us. So far everything is going great, even looks “too good to be true”. You are probably thinking, that was the best case scenario what else do I want. But there is one problem. My experience in relationships is practically zero. I dated my first serious crush in college for a couple of years, but that hardly can be considered as a relationship, it was more of playing “being in love”. After that I was completely focused on school and carrier. Over a year ago , when I assumed that I accomplished enough to let myself to “allocate” some time to dating life, appeared that meeting right/special guy was not that easy , or my expectation was too high. Meantime I am 25 years old whose dating history is limited by one silly relationship and few lousy dates. And now when I meet possibly right guy with plenty of dating experience, I am really worried that I will either screw things up by my inexperience or he freaks out when he will know that I practically have not been in a serious relationship. For me it’s normal that I have not being in a relationship for a long time first because of lack of time and then because of “lack of right guy” and lack of desire to settle for something/someone I didn’t want, but I know that for most of the people my “case” looks weird and what everyone would assume is something is wrong with me and I’ll be a paining a neck. That being said I put a lot of an effort to hide this from him. I already avoided the subject of exes a couple of times but I understand that at some point I want be a able to do that and just the idea of telling him that it’s been over 5 years since my last and only relationship is killing me. So my question: What should I do, keep avoiding subject as long as I can, or just stop worrying about it and tell him, and if the second is your suggestion what is the best way/ form of doing this not to freak him out. I know you’ll probably say that if that alone changes his mind about me he is not worth worrying about, but still… Or maybe I’m being too paranoid about all this. Thanks.

  8. @Jessica……Yes, you are being too paranoid about this. There are three ways of looking at this. Your way: He’s going to think you’re weird. First alternative: He just accepts your past for what it is—your past. Second alternative: He’s thrilled that you haven’t slept your way through your early 20s. (Guys don’t love thinking that their girlfriends have had sex with anyone, let alone a lot of guys.) We wouldn’t bring the topic up again but if it comes up naturally just be honest. Tell him you’ve been focusing on your career and that you would have made time if the right guy came along but he didn’t. Now you’re making more time for it. Last note/observation: (Don’t take this wrong. This comes from a supportive place. But you can tell us to piss off if you want.) You seem like a worry wart, possibly a little Type A. Meaning, you’re a planner, and logical about things. You like order. Relationships aren’t like that. They’re messy and unsettling and hard but also wonderful and exciting and fulfilling. Just be yourself. If he’s not into the real you then time to move one and find someone who will be. (And you’re smart. You knew this is what we were going to say.) Good luck.

  9. Thanks guys and I guess you are right and my concerns are way exaggerated. And no, I want take your observation wrong, since it’s true, though didn’t know that my type A personality was so obvious that people could see it in my two paragraph post, lol.

  10. @Jessica……Funny. But that’s why we’re good at what we do. Take care and keep us posted.

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