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Hate crimes

Upon visiting one of our favorite blogs, AskCherlock, we read a piece entitled Hate Crimes, Women and the Internet.

Here is an excerpt from her piece. Please go to her blog to read the rest of the article, as well as other great articles on world events and politics. And leave her a comment.

“……hate crimes against women are increasing as we are perceived as soft targets. One must wonder what role the Internet plays in this. Perhaps the Internet has become a place where some socially isolated men (or women) find it easy to hide behind an avatar and spew venom or prey upon others due to some latent mental pathology.”

For those of you who don’t know the word misogyny, it means quite simply, “hatred of women” or “considering them less” or “despising them.”

The first thought that comes to mind, besides the shame of coincidentally being the same gender as some of these men, is sadness. What type of upbringing, or lack of upbringing, must a boy have had to turn into a man filled with this type of anger? Or maybe he just picked up subtle clues over a long period of time. Either way it starts with parents.

Arguments are part of relationships, but it’s how the arguments are conducted that impact children and teach them how to treat one another. If a child senses veiled threats, bullying, or witnesses abuse, he will make mental notes about how relationships work. And ultimately he will conduct himself in a similar manner if not worse.

However it’s not always so obvious. Sometimes it could be simply, a boy hears remarks about how woman look and act. Over time these remarks gain momentum and make it clear to the boys that women are in fact just objects. And it’s a lot easier to hate an object than it is a person.

Discussing origins is one thing, but intervening to stop these types of crimes is a whole different ball game. However, do we really have a choice? Cher discusses how the internet is playing a role in hate crimes. We can see how easy it is to start a blog or a forum, and throw out all sorts of venomous barbs with little or no consequences. For in many ways the internet is truly the wild frontier with its own laws and it’s own sense of justice. But we are not helpless to combat this type of thing. We must put on our sheriff’s hats  and rally together and speak up.

Hate crimes against anyone should never be tolerated!!

If we work together as a united front, it’s possible we can help stop a few tragedies from happening. Please do your part to spread the word.

THE GUYS

17 Comments on Hate crimes

  1. Guys, this post addresses the problems so well. How much of this bullying or hatred begins in the homes of children? Is it that old nature vs nurture conundrum? It is refreshing to hear your thoughts on this issue from A Guys Perspective. Without men recognizing the problem and taking some steps to rectify it, there is little women can do on our own to solve it. The women on the Internet thank you for being so upstanding and for setting such a positive standard.

  2. The home life is a huge area of impact when it comes to shaping attitudes towards women, especially from broken homes.

    Way back when I was married, my wife had a son who spent every other weekend with his father. (who was pretty much of an asshole.) Every time the boy came home from his dad’s, his attitude toward his mom was horrible.

    He’d talk down to her, order her to make him a sandwich or get him a snack, say it was her job because she was the girl. This was coming from a kid that was about 10. Obviously that didn’t go over very well with either of us. The boy was obviously channelling his father.

    It was a pretty weird dynamic all around, but I bet you anything that kid turned out to be a misogynist jerk.

  3. Enter your comments here…
    Ah, I just love the guys. Guys that are nice guys is what the guys are. Thanks for this.

  4. Oh, my! This is sounding way too familiar to me! I so agree that this stuff begins in the home and can date back many generations. What children see acted out in their little lives may horrify them and frighten them, hurt and humiliate, but in later years they may find objectional behavior somewhat of a comfort because they are so used to it. They become the ones who hurt and denegrade. The people who are the greatest offenders probably will avoid anything that makes them look bad, so unless they are seeking a positive change in themselves, they will never see the article or read our responses.

  5. @Everyone/Bluzdude………Thanks for your input. Help us continue to deliver this message, that hate crimes will not be tolerated, even in their most subtle forms. (Read Bluzdude comment)

    @Cathy……..Yes, we’re good guys, but hopefully not boring. That sounds like another post idea.

    @Askcherlock……It’s a collective effort. We’re glad to our part even in a small way.

    @Judie……..So true. People will go to great lengths to hide it. Although, many people are getting bolder and bolder and writing about it, or making jokes about it on the internet, because they think no one will discover who they really are. Those are the people we need to start with.

  6. Women have always served as a convenient scapegoat for male frustration and aggression. First you dehumanize them by saying they’re soulless, or brainless, or chattel, or they’re sluts, then you create a culture based on these misogynistic ideas. The stupidest ideas become “reality” once you start believing them and putting them into practice. This insanity, through example and custom, is passed down from generation to generation, until it seems perfectly normal and legitimate to use women as physical and psychological punching bags . So you end up with men from Mars and women from Venus, the battle of the sexes, instead of equality and a common humanity.

  7. It’s true. When you’re a kid, your mind is like sponge, soaking up a lot of bad ideas and a few good ones. So often we use the ol’ double standard in this society. Take for instance when a guy screws around a lot, having sex with a multitude of partners- he’s NOT assigned the title of slut or anything similar- but a woman is. That’s just one example.

  8. Enter your comments here…

    Outstanding piece. I’ve often thought how much better the world would be had we all just been born bisexual. Double the dating pool, but more importantly, one less group to hate on. Learning to respect others is a lesson we learn as a very early or, I’m afraid, not at all.

  9. I’m not suprised this sort of thing happens, and it’s frankly pathetic on the part of those who do it. I totally agree that this all starts at home, but the workplace is another area that can foster this kind of attitude. When I was in the military lots of men hated women and treated them badly both online and out in the world. This is becuase an individual may have been cheated on or dumped or stood up on a blind date. After a few of these types of incidents and the isolated nature of the military many men became extremly bitter towards women and would go out and treat women like crap. Understandably they would become resentful or suspicious of all men in the military. In a way it created a vicious cycle of mistrust and hatred.

  10. My sister-in-law is an attorney who works on death penalty cases for the government. She is not trying to get the offenders out of jail, but to get their sentences changed to life without parole (much cheaper than the death penalty). She was a social worker before she became a lawyer, which makes her work so much more complete. She goes back generations to show how the offenders have gotten to where they are today. It is fascinating!

    When she was a social worker, she worked with one young man who just could not stop stealing cars, and she was constantly going to court with him. He had never known his father, but Susan managed to track him down. She asked the young man if he wanted to know about the father who had abandoned him when he was an infant. He said that he did, and Susan told him that his father had been in and out of jail most of his life, FOR STEALING CARS! Scary stuff, huh??

  11. Let a cock sucker think I’m BELOW him or treat me like shit because I’m a woman… He’ll be missing an extremely important appendage that MAKE him a man.

    Doubt I’d be able to find it, to tear it the fuck off seeing as how its probably the size of a mini weenie that my Daddy uses for his BBQ stuff.

  12. Ash has a point, if dudes lost their weenies over being weenies, maybe they wouldn’t be WEENIES!!

    There is really no excuse, but I will say as women we need to stand up and not allow men to talk/treat us that way. If more women knew their value and what they deserved less men would get away with that crap.

  13. Well said Guys…abuse comes in many forms. It is said that the abuser seeks a certain amount of control which in turn feeds his own fears and weaknesses. The we have the learned behavior abuse which is handed down through generations of misfits and abusers. There are certain cultures that look at abuse from very different eyes than we a more civilized people do.

    In all fairness to men…abusers are also females and children. We see animals being abused all of the time. We see children being abused by their own mothers ..it is not always men who are the abusers.

    Abuse is never acceptable…no matter who it is coming from or hat the justification is…there is nothing good about abuse..it is harmful, humiliating, destroying and murderous.
    Abuse most definitely is a sin of mankind~

  14. A great post Guys. Too often women are made to be targets of hate and violence because they are seen as weaker than men and men take advantage of perceived vulnerabilities. It seems that the Internet is the new breeding ground for misogynistic men of all types.

  15. @nothingprofound…………We couldn’t have said it better.

    @Kelly……….Actually he’s called a stud, and he’s admired. There’s a huge double standard.

    @InJaynesworld…………It’s amazing how much we learn when we don’t realize we’re learning.

    @The Wolf…………Thanks for an interesting insight into a piece of the military. Unfortunately what you’re describing plays out in homes and at work, all across the world, every day.

    @Judie………..That is scary. This brings in question nature vs. nurture. Certainly we are who we are at birth. We’ve seen that with our own kids. But much shaping of behavior can happen for good and for bad.

    @Ash………Honestly we wish more women had your attitude. A don’t F with me attitude. It’s an attitude born from being an equal. Guys have that attitude with each other. We know how to deal with that.

    @Angelia………See the above comment to Ash.

    @D………….You are right. Abuse comes in all forms. If women are being abused, it’s usually coming from men, so that’s why we are focusing on them. But women are guilty of it as well, especially when it comes to children.

    @Raven………Well said.

  16. Unfortunately this is part of life… some people really do have a sick twisted view.

    There is so much each of us can do. One is to not to judge others. Even if someone is so different we can smile or give a genuine compliment. Breaking down barriers needs us to reach out. It is also about setting boundaries.

    eg Many years ago I really didn’t like the way some men in my life were treating women – even swearing really badly and discussing inappropriate topics in front of my mum and my niece. Men – if you don’t like it, stand up for the women. Honestly most women do not like bad behaviour and would prefer to be treated like a woman – respected. Women if no men stand up, you have to do it yourself. For me it took a few years of seeing people in smaller doses and not putting up with certain behaviours… before that respect was automatically afforded to me and women around me.

    Also by working on ourselves and finding out what our own beliefs are we can choose to accept them or get rid of them and replace them with other ones that actually benefit us eg ‘Making money is difficult” to “Making money is easy” or “Love is for others” to “Thank you for the wonderful man who loves and adores me!!!”

    We can choose our life by making small steps each day!

  17. @Cathy…….Very insightful. Thanks for sharing. Our readers will be very interested. Having the confidence to make smart choices for ourselves is key.

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