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Just hold the damn door!

THE GUYS and I have noticed an alarming trend that seems to spreading across this great nation. This trend has little to do with politics or money. It has little to do with religion or any of the other hot button topic being  fiercely debated by our government and by the people.

It has to do with common courtesy.

Chivalry isn’t dead. In fact it’s very much alive. Guys will generally go out of their way to hold a door or carry a bag  for a woman. And certainly they’ll stop their car for a woman trying to cross the street. Although that’s likely due to the fact that they just want to WATCH the woman cross the street, but still they stop.

But when it comes to Guy on Guy, that’s a whole different ball game. (Sorry we couldn’t help ourselves.)

We’re not sure what this is all about really. We wonder if this trend is due to the general insecurity of many guys who think it might make them look gay or weak to extend courtesy to another guy? But it’s happening believe us.

You have to watch closely for this. It’s not overt. To use a football analogy since it’s the opening weekend of the playoffs, it’s like a slight push when a receiver goes up to catch the ball. It’s just enough to knock him off balance so he doesn’t make the catch, but not enough to really hurt him. And certainly not enough for the official to call a penalty.

So this is a call to take notice. You can find out a lot about a Guy by how he treats other Guys.   How?

Because Guys travel in packs. The Old Boys Network, The Geek Squad, The Fraternity Brothers, The Poker Gang, The Tennis Club, etc. These groups often give us identities that we like to project to the rest of the wolves. They help define us and give us territorial jurisdiction. (You see we’re all really still in high school.) So if you can find a Guy who is willing to extend a hand to a lone wolf that may have stumbled into his territory, well then you’ve found your mate for life. He’s probably a good Guy through and through. One who’s confident and comfortable in his own skin.

But if he’s not willing to do that, the least he can do is hold the door while he kicks the guy into the street.

Now is that too much to ask?

THE GUYS

What have you noticed lately about courtesy that you’d like to share with THE GUYS?

And for questions of almost any nature, email us: advice@theguysperspective.com

16 Comments on Just hold the damn door!

  1. Great post GUYS! Your writing is genius! I love the football analogy, the wolf descriptions & the play on words (*lol*)
    And it is SO true – chivalry is out the door! I take the commuter train to work & people let the door slam in your face! What’s up with that? And its not just the young teenagers like you’d expect, its the 50 somethings too! I hope you are starting a movement with this post, BRING IT BACK!!!

  2. I’ve noticed an increase in door holding by 15ish-year-old males. Of course it probably helps that I am old enough to be their, um, erg, um, grandmother. But still, their manners are good and my sense is that it’s genuine, usually.

    On the other hand, one Hell’s Angel (in full colours) recently whacked another (in full colours) across the chest and said, “Hold the fu..ing door for the lady!”

    What we should make of these two occurences of door holding, I don’t know.

  3. As usual guys you have put your finger on an annoyance. I’m not too sure that men always hold the door for women. Sometimes a man will just let go of a door in front of you and not look back to see who it has closed on. Most men hold doors open for me, but women sometimes don’t even bother. It happens many times at public events where you have to keep a door open for the people coming behind you.

    I’m not sure why this is happening. I know that in the first flush of women’s liberation many women didn’t want men holding doors or doing any chivalrous things for them. Men might have gotten out of the habit of holding doors open so they don’t bother. However, slamming a door in someone’s face is just wrong. When a woman does that to me I feel that person has not learned to be courteous to fellow human beings.

    Though holding a door might not be a big deal it is an aspect of civilization. When people live in close quarters there needs to be respect for space and basic courtesy. It may be that too many people have too much else on their minds to think about being courteous. But this intense selfishness can only be bad for society. People have to take care of each other. I know that in a crisis people can be wonderful, but maybe they need to be wonderful every day!

    Come read about heroes. They do whatever they need to do regardless of consequence:
    http://www.examiner.com/x-33746-NY-Literature-Examiner~y2010m1d8-How-real-are-the-heroes-in-literature

  4. Unfortunately, chivalry went out the door with the Feminist movement. There are times when such things go too far. Women love chivalry. Well, most of us do. But I think Guys are confused. They don’t know whether they should hold the door for a woman because she might be offended, and they are reluctant to hold the door for another guy for fear of being perceived as Gay. Who said “It’s a man’s world”?

  5. I think people are in such a rush to get where they’re going and have so much on their minds they’re not even aware what’s happening around them. We need to slow down and look around more and rediscover other people and the world. Once we realize other people are actually “real,” we might start treating them with more kindness and respect.

  6. I agree with askcherlock about the “guys have become confused theory”. Personally, I hold the door for anyone most of the time, no matter how many times I tout myself as a mean bastard. 🙂 Unfortunately, the militant sect of the feminist movement, which seems more directed in forcing or brainwashing people to believe in the SUPERIORITY of women over men -plus the media- have done more damage in all of this. Including something as simple as door opening. Virtually every ad or sitcom these days make men look like bufoons or women abusers. Ever watch the Lifetime Channel? True feminism is about EQUALITY, I think or so I read. Anyway, if people keep seeing or hearing the same crap from the media or whatever group enought times, they will believe it, unfortunately. I’ll get off my soapbox now.

  7. Guys do seem to be confused in general. However, we haven’t experienced too much backlash for being nice and considerate.

    But yes, so many people walk around so preoccupied in their own little worlds that they don’t notice their surroundings. That’s no excuse. Get your head out of your ass!!

    The world is too crowded to not consider others!

  8. I gotta say I agree with you and have seen this myself.

    I’m an equal opportunity holder – I hold the door for the next person regardless of who they are.

    Great post guys!

  9. hahaha. Just absofreakinglutely brilliant! I never thought O.T.G. can come up with something like this. Courtesy for the other guy… hehe. I guess you’re right. We don’t really show that to each other. However, I don’t think that it’s much about being gay or so. I think men are just generally pragmatic. I mean, if you hold the door for another guy, you’re not thinking, “Hey, I can probably get this dude’s name and call him later.” Nope. Doesn’t happen. No benefit or satisfaction whatsoever.

    “But when it comes to Guy on Guy, that’s a whole different ball game.”

    Affirmative. I don’t think I’d want to grab a ball held by another guy.

  10. I’ve noticed that guys are much more likely to hold the door for a woman if she’s attractive. Due to a medication I was on I gained a lot of weight over the last year and not nearly as many men hold the door for me now as they did when I was thin and smokin’ hot. I’ve lost count of how many men have slammed the door in my face lately, and I walk with a cane!

    Great post as usual, Guys!

    Have a great day!

  11. This is probably true so now I’ll have to watch and darn if it won’t bring a smile to my face..you guys write so darn well..

    Dorothy from grammology
    grammology.com

  12. Well that is so lame! I’m sure you still look great. And of course that should have nothing to do w/courtesy. This is exactly what we’re bitchin’ about!!

  13. We like “the equal opportunity holder.” See, you are “ONE of THE GUYS!”

  14. I generally think that it’s common courtesy to hold the door for the person behind you no matter who it is. I think that guys like to size each other up (I could probably word that better) and then once they decide that the other guy is OK they relax. I think that’s part of the pack mentality. Men need to decide if the other guy is happy to roll with the back or is looking to fight to become the alpha.

  15. It certainly shouldn’t be a hard thing to hold the door for another guy. This is a common courtesy of how we must be treating others, regardless of whether the other person is a woman or just another guy. 🙂

  16. You are amazing 🙂 the way you write . I definetly like men showing chivalry to women. I like the way you have played with words. Keep it up.

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