Short Staffed

I love going to the bank in my town. The obvious reason is, it makes me happy to deposit money. But the behind the scenes reason is, the young women working there are very friendly and quite cute. After I leave, my day is just a little better.

I don’t keep secrets from my wife. Even if I tried, I’m terrible at deception. She thinks my bank forays are funny. She rolls her eyes when I say I’m going to do errands. She knows this includes a visit to my favorite brick and mortar institution. But she also knows I’m invisible to the young cuties. I know this too. No matter how cool I try to be, I still drive up to the drive thru in my silver mini van. Yes, I’m invisible.

Just yesterday I was there and one of the “girls” was eating something. I asked her how her lunch was. She laughed.

She said, “We’re short staffed today so we don’t get lunch. I have to eat while I work.”

I said, “Well that’s a drag.” (This is me trying to be cool)

She said, “Yeah, but at least it was free. The manager of the Chinese place across the street is a customer and he brought over lunch for all of us.”

I said, “Sweet.” (Me still trying to work the coolness)

She said, “Have a nice day.”

As I drove off, I started thinking about how unfair that was. I mean she shouldn’t lose her lunch just because they’re short staffed. That seemed pretty lame. Then it dawned on me. This is perfect. I love this. This is going to be my new catch phrase. Short staffed.

When my kids come from school demanding a snack or dinner I’m going to say, “Sorry, we’re a bit short staffed today. You’ll have to fend for yourselves.”

Or when my wife asks me to go grocery shopping I’m going to say, “Yeah, that’s going to be tough. You know, short staffed and all.”

I mean is this perfect or what?!!! I love this. This works in any situation:

For the neighbor who bugs you about your leaves blowing on their lawn.
For the friend who wants you to help him with his computer.
For your mother that wonders why you don’t call her every day.
For THE GUYS who bug ME about responding to questions.

It’s the perfect saying for all occasions. And I give all of you permission to use it whenever it suits you. Just give me and THE GUYS credit when appropriate.

However, GUYS, please don’t be unclear on the concept.

If your girlfriend or wife or partner is feeling a bit randy and wants to get busy, but you’re not feeling it at the moment, that is not the time to say:

“I’m a bit short staffed.”


18 Comments on Short Staffed

  1. LOL!!! That’s too perfect. Will try it out at once!

  2. You’re too funny. I just stumbled upon this blog and was tickled. I asked my son to take a gander at it too – since he keeps going to the bank under the guise of “getting a calendar”. (How many calendars does he need?)

    There is a foot of snow covering my porch steps and driveway and sure enough when I asked him to shovel the snow he responded as you suggested.

    Where is he now? Shoveling snow – of course.
    (Saying ‘Short Staffed’ doesn’t work with moms – at least not this mom – and not this close to Xmas.)

    And in reply to the Dec. 20th post about what is funny…
    My students make me laugh. I write about them at Talkin’ Kids.
    My neighbor also makes me laugh.

    I like your work guys.
    Write On!

  3. hahaha, yes short staffed does have its limits! Great catch phrase though, I think I might have to use that one when it’s my turn to wash the dishes.

    PS I’m having a giveaway on my blog-check it out for a chance to win a little bit of cash in time for Christmas!

  4. I thought you were going to miss the obvious pun for a second. Except, from the Gal’s Perspective, it’s far too easy to turn that around and tell everyone that the reason things aren’t getting done around the house is that your hubby’s just a little short staffed lately. 😉

    Indeed – a useful phrase, but one you should use verrrrry sparingly and wisely.

  5. Hysterical post, Guys! Loved it to pieces.

  6. Short Staffed means At The End of the Day – you are still behind.
    Cute Indeed Guys. obtw, did you see we have Sampson today ?
    he is never short staffed since he has 4 wives, eats raw mutton and drinks Butter Baby !

    Happy Holidays from The BadGalsFam

  7. hahahahahahhaha!

    1. The girls are cute and nice because you are depositing money. They’re supposed to be cute and nice.

    2. Don’t say you’re short staffed unless you actually, for a fact, in reality, have staff to order around. Like, I have 2 maids! Therefore I can actually use that! You cant!

    3. Thank you for your support that you show for my writings on my blog. I really appreciate it. I am happy to have met “the guys” in this year, and will be happy to take you guys into the new year with me. 🙂

    4. I truly appreciate how a bunch of guys read and appreciate and relate to and feel- my poetry and prose. Thank you. 🙂

    Merry Christmas guys… 🙂

  8. p.s. it’s sooo hard to get to your blog, because you don’t have a link to your blog in your profile. So when you leave a comment and I click your profile, I can’t find a link to click to get here. I suggest you add your link to your blogger profile, that way, people will be able to access your blog much easier! Cheers! 🙂

  9. I am going to use this. AND I’m going to say I made it up.

  10. I love the short staffed line. I have previously used “I’m on strike” with my kids, but they never agree to my list of demands, so it feels kind of empty.

  11. Wish me luck on using this in corporate America, lol.

    Boss, “Hey you got those ledger reports?”..

    Me, “Sorry I’m we’re bit short staffed today, will get to it soon.”

    Boss, “Short staffed? What!?..Short staffed, no staff, one staff, I don’t care if you had a staff infection. You will have those reports on my desk end of day or you won’t be part of the staff!”

    Thanks you Guys, great post!

  12. That’s an excellent idea. And your humor and writing is great stuff.

    I just told my wife I was short staffed and she said, “No news there, Honey. I knew your dick was small before I married you.”

    I thought that was too sweet.

    Hippy Holidaze!

  13. that’s awesome! can’t say i’ve ever not been in the modd to get down and dirty with my gf, but otherwise, i love it. im at uni doing an honours project, can’t wait for my supervisor to next ask me for an update on my progress lol.

  14. Yes, she sounds very sweet!

  15. NICE!

  16. I want free Chinese food!

  17. I would love to write a longer comment about this article, but I’m short staffed!


  18. This was too cute on many levels. I’m so very glad you posted the caveate at the end of your article. Being short staffed during special momments could be a bit ineffectual (wink). I hope you and the rest of my GUYS are having a wonderful holiday, and a blessed New Year.

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