Written by: “One of The Guys”
Hair(As defined by Webster): Any of the fine, threadlike outgrowths from the skin of an animal or human being.
Body Hair(As defined by The Guys): Any of the above mentioned hair that grows all the places we don’t want it to.
The topic of body hair was brought up recently at one of our round table discussions. Apparently a few of our comrades have recently been contemplating full body laser surgery, to remove their full bodied rugs. Desperate times call for desperate measures. And if you’ve ever seen the “40 Year Old Virgin” you’ll know what I mean. The hair waxing scene is one of the funniest moments in that movie.
But laser surgery!? Is body hair really that bad? Let’s examine the pros and cons.
On the pro side.
1. It keeps you warm. No need to put on that extra sweater in the winter.
2. You can hide things in there. Like that piece of gold you don’t want to declare at customs. Very handy.
3. No need to buy a Halloween costume….ever! The Wolf Man is always en vogue.
4. If you start going bald, you have a lot of real hair to use for the transplant.
On the con side:
1. It’s hot as hell!
2. Forget taking your shirt off at the beach.
3. Sweating is taken to a whole new level.
4. Did I mention it’s hot as hell!
5. And who knows what your partner is really thinking?
And that’s a question we’ll be asking later in this post. What does your partner actually think about this? And is it so bad to call for drastic measures?
Of course I wouldn’t know. I’ve had one chest hair in my time of this planet which I’ve diligently kept trimmed. Although there was a time when I felt the need to point it out to people, just to let people know I was capable of actually growing a chest hair. But I see I might be one of the lucky ones. For now.
I say for now, because body hair is something no man ever really escapes. Eventually hair will grow from every crevice in his body until he is consumed. And it’s already happening to me. Just the other day I looked in the mirror and I said, “Is that a hair growing out of my eye?”
However, the real question is, is there a double standard when it comes to body hair?
A guy can walk around with a carpet on his back and a furry woodland creature on his face and his partner just has to deal with it. But women jump through the proverbial hoop just to rid themselves of a little hair. Especially nowadays, hair seems to be WAY OUT. Here’s what I’ve witnessed, or at least heard about, in terms of women grooming themselves.
Waxing the hair under their lip.
The bikini wax and trim.
Shaving their underarms.
Shaving their legs.
The eyebrow pluck.
And then of course we have the various degrees of grooming when it comes to the private area.
The Landing Strip
I mean talk about the pressure! This takes grooming to a whole new level. Women have always had to think about clothes and the way they look on the outside, but now they have to think about what’s going on under the clothes?! That’s just too much!
For guys, we just have to brush our teeth, wash and comb our hair and put on clean undies. Expectations are low and as long as we’re clean and reasonably kept, we can get away with a lot.(I think)
But now the tables are turning a bit. Like I said, hair is going out of style, especially unseemly body hair. And some of The Guys are taking a hard look at themselves and realizing that maybe their little tree farm isn’t that attractive after all.
As for women, I for one don’t really care what they do with their hair. That’s their business. It’s certainly not a determining factor on why I would or wouldn’t date someone. (Although I’m not longer in the game, so it’s a moot point.) But I’m just saying. “The Patchouli” is certainly fine with me. (Look it up)
But as far as guys go, our body hair is just like the lawns we work so hard to keep immaculate. At the end of the day, the weeds will win out, and our body hair will eventually consume every inch of our bodies.
So I say to my Guys, save yourself some money. Forget the surgery and just let it ride. You’re actually trend setters, you just don’t know it yet. Because when it’s all said and done, even me, with my one hair on my chest, will become consumed by the looming forest.
Men: Do you think we should shave our body hair or remove it permanently? What does your partner say about it? Also, what kind of grooming do you prefer in your partner?
Women: Is there a major double standard going on with body hair? Do you care? How do you like to groom yourself? (Please share if you’d like) And how do you really feel about body hair on guys?