Guys just can’t get a break these days. If it’s not one thing it’s another. Bad parenting, infidelity, you name it. But the final knock out punch was when I heard that Tiger Woods had now joined the club of cheaters. Not Tiger! Please say it aint’ so!
This news rocked my world. Not that I follow celebrities and athletes and their various extra-curricular activities too much. But Tiger….Well, he’s Tiger. I’ve always rooted for him in all aspects of his life, on and off the course. He’s always been so unique, so talented, so cool.
But now what? The GUYS and I have been working hard to promote men as emotionally stable, self-aware beings. This news hardly helps our cause. I mean, Tiger??!!! I keep thinking it’s a bad joke, but apparently it’s far from that.
Tiger’s famous, with all the money in the world, a beautiful wife and two healthy children. And he’s the best golfer in the world, which is what he’s probably envied the most for. So how can he have any possible motivation to cheat? How does this even enter his psyche?
But let’s ask the bigger question, “Why do men cheat in general?”
Chris Rock famously said, “Men are only as faithful as their opportunities.” I get the joke, but I’m not so sure it really applies. Men cheat because they choose to cheat and because something is missing from their lives that they aren’t aware of. It’s not men who cheat, it’s individual men.
But it doesn’t hurt to at least look at the list that is most often cited for why guys cheat:
Guys crave variety.
Guys want more excitement, which includes chasing skirts.
Guys want to do things sexually that their wives don’t want to do.
Guys want to experience the “First” sensation again. First kiss. Love at first sight. First everything.
Guys get bored easily.
Sure those may all true, but mainly they’re just excuses. And I’ve talked to enough women to know that they want these things too.
The real reason is, these guys have never learned how to live in the real world. Instead, they live in a fantasy world of their own creation. And what a fun place to live.
Imagine a place where you can have love and security. You can have your ego stroked 24/7. You get unconditional love. Lots of money and toys. Sex anytime you want with anyone you choose. AND you have no responsibilities except making yourself happy. Wow, what a play land that is!!!!
However, therein lies the problem. These cheaters are not happy. They spend their lives searching, chasing, looking, only to find dead end after dead end. For them it’s all about the future, not THE NOW. But happiness comes from within. The rest is all about choice. What choices do I want to make? And how do my choices impact the people in my life?
Tiger is left to deal with the aftermath of his bad choices. I feel sorry for him, but I feel more sorry for his wife and kids. What a mess!!!! But this cheating thing isn’t a guy problem it’s a people problem. It’s individuals who haven’t evolved past an egocentric view of the world. And our society is feeding into that more and more. Everyone’s looking for instant gratification, instant success, instant fame. But it’s all just a facade. A cover up.
It’s OK to feel sad. It’s OK to feel down or depressed. I’m not talking clinically, I just mean we constantly try to cover up uncomfortable emotions with stimuli, instead of exploring where the emotions are coming from or just experiencing them. Every emotion is part of the human experience and that in itself is wonderful.
I’m still rooting for Tiger. I’m still rooting for him to wake up and take a hard look at himself. Maybe it’s too late to fix the mess, but it’s not too late to make changes going forward.
And as far as the rest of us GUYS, we all have to make individual choices and stop making excuses for ourselves and our buddies. So ladies, don’t give up on us.
Because what would you do without us?? (OK, you don’t have to answer that)
“ONE of THE GUYS”