It's all in the Name

I may have written about this before, but here goes again. The pressure is mounting. It’s 2010, the kids are one year older….can’t use that excuse anymore….and everyone but me wants a dog.

I tried selling them on fish or a hamster or maybe even a rat. I hear they’re in vogue these days. But they’ll have none of it. It’s a dog or nothing.

Actually I like dogs. I grew up with one. She was smart, cuddly, fun and I played with her a ton. But let’s face it, I didn’t really have to take care of her, and neither did my brother or sister. My mom pretty much did everything.

In my current situation, since I’m home more days than my wife, it will be me, picking up poop, walking the dog and tending to her needs. I can barely take care of myself and the kids…and sometimes my wife, how can I handle another mouth to feed and another butt to wipe!! Well hopefully I won’t have to wipe her butt, but you get my meaning.

The other thing is, these four legged beings are damn expensive! I know how pricey those vet bills can be. What am I going to say? “Sorry kids,  we just can’t fix “Fido’s” leg. Too expensive. She’ll just have to limp the rest of her life.” I’ll be whipped and chained and hung up over the fireplace if I take that stance. So what’s a poor guy to do? Help!!!???

So, I guess this is it. Hmmm…..

But there is a solution to this whole dilemma. Here’s how it’s going to go.

Me (To my family): Just throw me a bone and maybe I’ll go along with it.

My wife: So what do you want?

Me: I want to name her.

The kids: NO!!!!!

Me: I name her, or no dog.

Everyone(After a LONG pause): Fine.

Me: So I’m going to name her “Peeve!” (Pause) That’s right you heard me, “Peeve!”

Everyone: What??!! What kind of a name is that? That’s lame!

Me: No it’s not.  That way when my friends come over and they say, “What’s your dog’s name?”  I can say, “This is my pet Peeve.”

Everyone: Ahhh!!! 

And you know what, that just might be worth the extra mouth to feed.


19 Comments on It's all in the Name

  1. Watch out. My kids would go for that in a heartbeat. And me, being a writer, well – I think it’s a great name and if I EVER get another pet, that’s its name. Thanks!

    My husband has stood his ground for 25+ years (it’s him or a dog – he’s just damned lucky I love him LOTS, and he REALLY set himself up for misery during those teen years). We’ve managed to (briefly) house a king snake (we don’t talk about that incident), a couple of fish, an anole, and several pill bugs. Seriously. But no dogs or cats.

    My daughter’s old enough to have her own – well, when she gets a place of her own. She’s living with one of her classmates near the college, and they have three dogs. I think that’s cured her; I am pretty sure she’s over the whole “I want a puppy!” thing, because now she understands what they turn into. And while she likes them lots, she also understands the down side to owning a dog.

  2. I’d totally go for that name. Then after all my friends had met the dog, I’d have to keep taking it to the dog park just to continue the introductions.

  3. Funny post, Guys, and one to which many of us can relate. I love the name! It’s certainly unusual and you may chuckle every time you call the dog.

  4. I think you should go the total opposite way, and give the dog a really embarrassing name that they will have to say in public. I can’t see your boys calling for Fluffy or Bubbles.

  5. That’s an interesting name.
    You should give it a shot and see what happens.

    When my boys were little, I was also pressured to get a dog.
    We got a Beagle.
    They named him Spike.

  6. LOL!! You gave me a much needed laugh!!! I couldn’t figure it out until you added pet. Did you get it and did you really name it that?

    We had a female Newfoundland that we called Lady Balzac. My husband used to let her off the leash to do her business and when he wanted her back he would yell down the street: “Balz”. Of course it could be spelled: “Balls”. The neighbors would look horrified. They were all middle aged and tended to their lawns and lawn edges constantly. One day for no reason at all we received a hot gift thrown at our front door. I guess they didn’t like it.:)

  7. Yeah, I thought Peeve was lame too, but when you released the punchline, it sort of relieved the stress. lol.

    “I can barely take care of myself and the kids…and sometimes my wife, how can I handle another mouth to feed and another butt to wipe!!”

    Well, that’s something we have in common. I think we’ll get along fine. Now if I can only find your name… hmm…


  8. @Barbara…, we haven’t gotten it yet, but I’m pushing for that name for sure!

    @Ryhen…….my name. I have many. Saelen. Sae. Sai. Sigh…….

    @Sugar snow……I think I’d be too embarrassed myself.

  9. @Holly…….yes, my goal is to have every dog and cat in the world named Peeve! So go for it! Name away. I hope to have a story or poem or both completed using this little joke/name.

    @bluzdude, cherlock, diane……thanks, and yes, feel free to name your next pet Peeve. Yes, I’ll be cracking up every time I say it. But no dog yet!!

  10. Hahahaha….I think that is the PERFECT compromise!

  11. You moan and groan now but you’ll fall in love with the little mutt. May I suggest that you get a boy dog? I’ve had both-and the boy dogs tend to be a bit more manageable. I’ve also worked as a vet tech surrounded by many pets, and again, the females tend to be a bit more…well bitchy! 😉
    Also, consider a poodle mix. No hair to deal with!! And I love the name!! I’m sure the vet will crack up as he hands you that big ol vet bill. 😉

  12. I think that’s a great name for a dog. Pet Peeve. It has a sense of irony, and it doesn’t sound like no so the dog won’t get confused when you say no, no, bad dog. (They say not to name dogs anything that rhymes with no.) Plus, if you have a hard time housebreaking him, you can just call him Pee for short, the way my nephew called our pekingese Prissy Pee Pee when he was little (it fit then because she was going senile and forgetting that she was supposed to pee outside and sleep inside, not the other way around).

    Then again, this is coming from someone who has a dog in the family named Little Butt.

  13. AWEEEE…I know you guys…are softies and you are just tryin to play hardball….I agree that once you make that leap you will be worse than anyone else in the house about (awe, isn’t she/he so cute)…lolol
    I LOVE THE NAME, so, I would stick to my guns….ya’ll crack me up.
    When it happens we want pictures.

  14. Well, at least you’ve got your revenge. 🙂

  15. @DateGirl…..that’s good info to have. Thanks!

    @Staci……love, “Little Butt” Too funny! Thanks for the tip on “NO”

    @Renee…’re probably right, unfortunately..

    @Walter…..hope it’s worth it.

  16. Stick to your guns guys! Request to name her & get your Pet Peeve!!! I think its great!

  17. Love the name. If you DO break down and get a pet… you TOTALLY have to name it that. In fact, I may get a pet just so I can pinch the name.

    Just kidding. I will never get a dog. My kids desperately want one. So I got them fish with the idea that they would leatrn how to take care of pets. The only reason the fish aren’t dead is because I feed them (and clean the tank etc.) So everytime the subject of a dog comes up, I remind them that clearly (re: fish) they are not “ready” for a pet…. or a pet peeve for that matter. 🙂

  18. Funny blog entry. Maybe an easy solution would be to borrow a friend’s pet for a few days to see how the family doe and how the dog doess.

  19. Haha! Love the name!

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