The Duality of Men: Why guys are the way they are

A special post from THE GUYS (Twitter: @TGPBuzz)

How can a man be a nice guy and at the same time, a total Dog?

This question seems to be a source of confusion and dismay among women across the world. So today we’d like to expound upon this principle and hopefully shed some light on this perplexing duality.

Dogs are born, bred and raised by man. They come with sharp teeth, a vicious bark and an aggressive streak. But they are also fiercely loyal, lovable and playful. They are the only animal on the planet that come with such an interesting blend of opposites. It’s not surprising, since they were trained by man to exist in his own likeness.

But although men possess many of the qualities of our canine brethren, they do not in fact walk on four legs. We walk upright and prefer to keep it that way. Our upright nature puts us at the top of the food chain and makes us the king of the predators, because now our other limbs are free to perform other useful purposes, like itching ourselves, playing cards, gesticulating at the TV, and grabbing at our female counterparts. It’s amazing that we’re not actually extinct!

However, we have another side to us that somehow makes us palatable to the opposite gender. This is where our protective loyalty comes into play. Supporting our family and looking after our own is deeply embedded in our genes. That’s who we are from day one. A squirmy, purple looking, ball of fat—fierce and loyal; precisely like a cute puppy.

So how can all this goodness live next door to all this aggression?

It’s just as unclear to us. It comes from somewhere, but where, we have no idea. Some call it hormones, some call it the devil, some say it hangs just below our abdomen, but whatever it is or wherever it may reside, it seems to have a mind of it’s own.

Example: Things are going great with our girlfriend. She’s so cool, smart, pretty and easy to hang with. What could be better? One day we’re walking down the street, happy as a clam and then we see “That Girl!” Our bodies start buzzing, our minds go blank and all of a sudden something isn’t quite right. How is this possible? Nothing’s really changed AND everything has changed. Why is this other person so mesmerizing, so alluring, so dynamic? And why does her mere presence shake the very foundation of what we care about?

We’re confused about this too, so we talk about it amongst ourselves. Yes, you heard that right, WE TALK!! And we ask each other questions like these:

What does this mean? Does this happen to you? Do you like it? Don’t like it? What should I do about it? Should I do anything about it? Is it real? Is it fantasy? I just don’t get it!!!

We ask these questions because we care about the people we love and don’t want to mess things up. We also realize that it’s unlikely those physical reactions have anything to do with love. But it takes us time. THE GUYS at The Guy’s Perspective have each other to ponder these thoughts, but many guys don’t have anyone to talk to, or they don’t even realize that they should be discussing this with other guys, so they follow their “small brain” around and basically ruin everything they have.

But, let’s not jump off the deep end here. We can be trained. In fact, somewhere deep down we want to be trained, or rather TAMED. Why? Because it’s not always fun to feel pulled by this invisible force, and to have little things like other women, cause us to question ourselves and what we have. We constantly hope, we can get this power under control, so we can enjoy our lives with the people who are in them presently.

Here are some basic rules to understand:

1. When we say we love you, we do. But that doesn’t mean we don’t want to sleep with…….well……you get the idea.

2. Yes, we seek to conquer. But it’s not just about the conquest as many think. At some point we actually do want to keep the “prize.” Of course each guy is different in this respect.

3. We do talk, but we’re egocentric creatures. We think we’re the only ones who’ve ever felt a certain way, done a certain thing, or thought of a particular idea. etc. That’s why teenage boys tell their dads they don’t know “jack” about sex or love. Hmm….and the dads say, “I wonder how you got here, you little….(fill in).” Our point is we think we know more than we do.

4. We travel in packs, but we’d prefer to “hunt” alone. So the guy you see at the bar by himself is not necessarily a lonely loser. He could actually be smarter than the rest and realize there’s a lot less competition when there’s no competition.

5. We ARE able to commit. If your man says he needs more time it’s because he’s unsure of you. If might be best to just let him sniff around some more without you. You’ll be better off.

The last thing we have to say about all of this is:

Don’t give up on us, but at the same time, it’s unlikely we’ll ever change.

Now figure that out!!! And when you do, let us know. We would like to be enlightened.


PS….we’re hungry. Can someone throw us a bone please! Join us on Twitter for more insights into the male mind. @TGPBuzz

16 Comments on The Duality of Men: Why guys are the way they are

  1. Clever & enlightening. Yet, I’m still confused by YOUR kind,,,,
    Dogs will be dogs. And we foverer try to stay one step ahead of you…to keep you begging for more.

  2. And we don’t mind begging. You’re worth it!

  3. Loved this post! Made me laugh, made me ponder, made me smile. Excellent.
    I have long believed that what makes men behave like dogs really does come down to one thing: testosterone. And it’s all about their testes…
    When my boyfriend was in his early 20’s, he felt that his sexual drive was ruining his life. He went to the doctor and asked for a “prescription” that would decrease his sexual desire. He said it ran his life; made him do stupid things, and he hated it.
    Of course there was no magical cure for his condition. But as he’s gotten a bit older, he was finally able to get it under control.
    In my experience the young boys are beasts. But with every passing year, they get more manageable, and yes, more trainable!
    LOVE The Guys! Love you.
    p.s. I told you I had to go back to work and couldn’t write, but I posted a new one today, and it involves relationships….a favorite topic with my favorite guys. Hope you check it out.

  4. Men palatable hmm thot the opposite sex/females owned that phase, and of course men can be palatable my hubby certainly is .Love your post and tips especially No 5. I have got a friend who is in her 40s dating a guy in his mid 40s both single no children but my friend keeps saying to me this guy just does not seem ready to commit. I kinda wonder what he is waiting for, I also wonder what the heck is she doing … I would love to email this post to her

  5. Since this is a Guy’s Perspective, maybe we should keep the word “perspective” in mind. Women basically do understand what men are like. Some women make the mistake of trying to change them. It doesn’t work. I do believe that maturity, or age if you will, helps to give a man perspective. Often he realizes that he lost a good woman due to his smaller brain. Regrets set in and emotional growth starts. My advice to women: always make your man feel that he is the most gorgeous, most intelligent, wittiest person and best lover in the world. That can become his self-fulfilling prophecy.

  6. Great post, I don’t what to say because you touched on the biggest issue, man’s small head seems to be attached to that momentary pleasure button and for men it’s hard not to push when it’s there.

    Have fun, and keep trying someday you guys might get it..

    Dorothy from grammology

  7. I think that the “don’t give up on us, but it’s unlikely we’ll ever change” pretty much sums it all up. Women are attracted to men because they are so different from us, yet at times we’re compelled to complain about why you all are “a different breed.”

  8. Well, we can’t argue with that.

  9. That’s great advice Cher! Men need to do the same for their women.

  10. Please do. And have her visit us. We also answer questions, so feel free to have her email us at:

  11. “5. We ARE able to commit. If your man says he needs more time it’s because he’s unsure of you. If might be best to just let him sniff around some more without you. You’ll be better off.”

    And, well said!!

  12. I have a friend contending with an “unable to commit” guy. It’s a miserable sort of existence. Waiting on someone else to change is a time waster.

  13. I’d throw the bone AT you sir!! No, seriously that was an awesome post! I really liked the part where you confessed one of the only things men use their other appendages for was SCRATCHING themselves!!! 🙂

  14. You’re right about the duality of men and how we are, for the most part, misunderstood. This is going to sound chauvinistic, maybe, but I think that a lot of men use sex as a way of getting close, even getting to know(in our own way) a woman. Is she strong, sensitive or both. But that’s not our only way. Listening to the other one is a big part of it, too.

    Women are more into talking (which is cool, too) to get to know a guy- to see if he’s funny, smart, interesting and interested and so forth.

    But you can’t stereotype an entire gender either way. That would be unfair.

  15. @Kelly….yes, men use sex as a way of getting close. It’s true. And yes, women like talking as a way of forming an emotional connection. But like you said, it’s hard to stereotype. There are lots of women who like to get down and a few men that like to talk. Well, maybe just a few.

  16. Great post as always! 🙂 I have a few friends that really need to read this.

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