We don't care what you do!

I read a recent post from one of my blogging friends, The Love Skeptic. It was a fun description of her New Year’s eve escapades with a great guy she met. Visit her blog to read the details.

However, after it was all said and done, nothing every transpired beyond that night. She said it was a matter of demographics…..a difference of demographics that is.

That got me thinking. Is that really true? And is it true for guys the same as it is for women? Do we really care about demographics when it comes to dating?

It reminded me of that Seinfeld episode where Jerry tries to date a cashier, who just so happens to be pretty attractive. What makes that episode so funny is that this female cashier comes to one of his shows and thinks he’s not funny at all. Jerry then visits her the next day at her job. Here’s how it goes down.

Cashier Girl: I can’t date you anymore.

Jerry: Why not?

Cashier Girl: I saw your show. You’re not funny. I can’t date someone I don’t respect.

Jerry: You’re a cashier!!!

So funny and so true. Generally guys don’t care what a women does for work, or how much money she has in the bank. If he’s attracted to her he’ll go for it. Of course going for it, is likely to mean, getting her in bed and nothing else, but that depends on the guy. He’s just as likely to bring home the girl who works at the comic store as the girl who works at the law firm.

Having said that, I do believe it’s much easier to date someone with a similar background including  race, religion, class and education. But from my experience, those things matter much less than similar values, morals, humor and common sense. THE GUYS and I agree on this.

But where do the women stand on this?  It seems that security is often cited as a predominant factor for finding Mr. Right. Which is what often leads to short, bald guys with large wallets, walking around with six foot models from Eastern Europe. But do our women readers really care about demographics or race when choosing a mate? Please do tell!!

And for the rest of the GUYS who I haven’t consulted, what’s your take on all of this?

As for me, I’m married to an RN, which of course is short for Registered Nurse. But as far as I’m concerned she could just as easily been an RC……
Rodeo Clown.


19 Comments on We don't care what you do!

  1. I think demographics may factor in initially -commonality allows time to discover compatibility on the more important elements you cited. Whether someone allows demographics to play a larger role depends on how much hope they have of finding what they really want. I think the term “settling” often applies to situations where demographics take the lead.

  2. A Rodeo Clown :|! Now that would’ve been scary. Clowns are scary in general and one that rodeos…please I need to stop thinking about that…

    I haven’t really thought about demographics or race for that matter. If you like someone, you like someone. But having someone with a similar background or values can make a relationship easier since you are less likely to argue or disagree on aspects in life. At least that’s what one may think. But then again the phrase, ‘opposites attract’ pops in my mind. It really depends on the person and what you unconsciously seek in a significant other. Very often you know instinctively what you want.

    Another nice post again ^_^!! Ciao!

  3. It does seem to me that women care much more about this than do men. I never cared….my boyfriend could be a Rodeo Clown too, for all I care…as long as he contributes. But my guy does like that I have a professional career, interestingly enough…..

  4. The problem with Rodeo Clowns is that they leave make-up prints of their face on the pillow case. Then when you wake up, you’re like, “Gaaaaaaaaaaaah! Your face is off!”

  5. It ALL matters!! Girls want the WHOLE sha-bang! At least I do!
    When I met my future husband, he introduced himself as a musician, which wasn’t the biggest turn on, but when he said he was also a 3rd grade school teacher, somehow, he became more ATTRACTIVE!
    So, yes, security did matter for the first date. But it wasn’t why I married him. It was his humor, his intelligence, our similar values & most important, out CHEMISTRY. He is no longer a 3rd grade school teracher, but does still enjoy music. I married for love, NOT for money!
    Thanks for the funny flashback to Seinfeld!

  6. TJ, rodeo clowns aren’t scary the way most clowns are scary – they’re scary because they’re willing to lure one seriously pissed off bull towards themselves so that a fallen cowboy (possibly injured) can be moved out of the arena without the bull trampling them or others. Rodeo clowns are TOUGH. I’m a little creeped out by clowns, in general, but rodeo clowns have my respect and admiration. Still, to be married to a woman that brave and tough might be a little intimidating.

    I think similar values are a MUST, if you’re planning to have an actual relationship (as opposed to a one-night stand). A close second (maybe a tie) is intellectual, educational, and experiential equivalence. Not “sameness,” mind you, but equivalence – so that you don’t run out of things to talk about and no one’s “talking down to” anyone. Aside from that, the rest is unimportant. Cultural, racial, or ethnic differences are merely “interesting” if the basic values are shared. And a job is just a job.

    I worked briefly as a waitress – but had a degree in Rhetoric & Writing and a full time job with an oil and gas company. You’d be amazed at how many of my coworkers had Masters or Doctoral degrees, but simply couldn’t find work in their own fields. I don’t know who originally said, “You can tell a lot about a person by the way he or she treats the waiter,” but it’s true.

    That said, I do know some men who are still a little hung up on the notion that they should earn more money than their girlfriend or wife. I think women are less caught up in that, actually – most of us were raised with the old adage, “It’s as easy to love a rich man as it is a poor one,” but love doesn’t listen to that sort of advice. Think “Revenge of the Nerds.” I would bet you those short, fat, balding guys with fat wallets also know how to make their girlfriends and wives feel special. It’s probably less about the money than you might think.

  7. Interesting question. Hmmm…I’m not quite sure how to answer…as the 53 year old married woman I am today or as the 18 year old high school graduate on the prowl from ages ago.
    Okay, back then, nothing mattered, including physical attractiveness. I dated outside my race, my religion, my background, certainly my education and class. And I, the middle class, artistic, romantic and dreamy young woman married a high school dropout, from a poverty-stricken family, totally uncouth, and whose only job was guitar player in a local rock band. Which, of course, never went anywhere. The rock band, that is. Somehow, against all odds, we find ourselves still married today.
    BUT…if we were to find ourselves unmarried and I was on the prowl again, I would have certain priorities: MONEY would be number one. Ambition…no, by that age, ambition should have become MONEY.
    So basically, MONEY would be the only consideration.
    Yeah, I’m a bit cynical.

  8. In the past 5 months I’ve dated two engineers (of dif demographics), a musician, and a CPA. If any of these relationships were to actually be successful it would be the engineer whom shared similiar values to me, ie: class, education, wealth, and aspirations. When it comes down to it if you ‘settle’ for someone it generally means you can find someone better, but fear that the one presently can’t be as easily replaced. Relationships are about overcoming challenges cohesively, so if one person is not on the same level as the other this will present problems for the shorterm and if you settle, for the future. Thus, demographics play a huge role in the success of any relationship.

  9. I don’t care what a man does as long as it’s honest work (he can’t be a professional thief!) and as long as it makes him happy. I do draw the line at education. I went to college and I love the fact that my fiance did too. It gives us common ground. I’ve dated guys that didn’t go to college, and they were still smart, but we didn’t share some of the same experiences. I also had a hard time with some of them being less successful than I was, and jealous ensued. So I think it matters to a point. Race doesn’t matter to me-I’ve dated guys of many different racial backgrounds.

  10. Thanks for all your great input!!!

    @Heather…..I like your last statement about settling. Wise
    @TJ……yes, similar values and interest always make things easier, but like you said, you know what you instinctively want.
    @cathy…..yes, a woman with a career adds a new dimension to the relationship. Intelligent women are sexy!
    @bluzdude……funny. That seems like a segue into paper bags, etc. But won’t go there.
    @GoGo…..glad you found a great guy.
    @Holly…..you do have a good point. Those guys probably do treat their women well. But money does seem to play a factor, at least in the initial attraction.
    @ethelmae…..Too funny! Money, money…it’s Ok to be a bit cynical, but it’s so great you’re still together!
    @LoveSkeptic…..I think we’re just defining demographics differently. I think we’re on the same page with most of what we’re saying.
    @Dategirl……It’s all personal opinion I guess. An intelligent guy with similar educational experience is important to you. Some women probably don’t care if their guy went to college as long as he’s hot. And the same is true for guys. That’s what makes the world go round!

  11. I am married and what mattered when I was dating many years ago was the chemistry I mean the click the demographic or other factors didn’t matter…. Interesting cuz I didn’t really think of those tall men or ones with bald guys with large wallets. I suppose It nice to see men with some hair . but then I am sure bald guys look good too….

  12. I may be an old softee (not talking about Mr. PP below) but I think chemistry and maybe “love at first sight” should account for something when it comes to this attraction. I would say that women, in the past, before feminism, were looking for a good provider and maybe some still do. But I think most women nowadays are making their own money and look for that necessarily. A sense of humor and some intelligence are real attraction factors, as well. Also: If a guy believes a woman is really listening to him and “getting him”, that’s the same for women, too.

  13. meant to say “not look for that”. oops.

  14. To some extent, it does matter what your partner does career-wise. Let’s face it. When the shine of sex lacks a little newness in its luster and the kids are grown, what will you have in common to talk about? Communication is everything in a relationship. If you don’t have a common intellectual ground, it makes keeping things together less interesting and a little more difficult.

  15. @Fatibony…..yes, we know bald guys look good too. We just used that as an example of money being a factor.

    @Kelly……boy, you are a softie!!! Love it!

    @askcherlock…….we often wonder what life will be like after kids. It’s hard to imagine, but it’s not far off!

  16. Hey Guys,

    I’d like to think that demographics don’t matter but sadly they do. When I finally settle down I want to settle down with someone who has similar morals but I also want someone who is at least my equivalent in terms of career, education and ambition.

  17. Does demographics matter? I would say to a certain extent, yes.
    And I agree that if you become involved with someone who comes from a similar background of race,class, and education you probably stand greater success of a happy relationship.
    The thing is around 50% of marriages/long term relationships will fail. Out of all those failures how many cite that demographics was a factor in their relationship breakdown?

  18. I don’t really care what a guy does work wise as long as he has a job he is happy at. I of course looked for a guy that was similiar to me, in that we had similiar interests and common goals in life. Demographics shouldn’t be a main factor cause you can always relocate if its worth it. When you meet “the one” I think you will go anywhere just to be with them. (Not that that should be determined in a week lol) See as Marine is stationed in another state, I have to say that yes the demographics suck – but in the longterm I also think he is worth it. So for right now we both do the best we can knowing that in another year we will get to be in the same zip code.

  19. Big deal that a woman makes more money than me. Do you want a Medal? Unfortunately these women do have a very Serious Attitude Problem as well. It has a lot to do with their Careers i guess.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published.

Maximum comment length is 1500 characters.