Why we need Facebook

Our lives are slowly spiraling out of control. We have somehow entered a new realm, an alternate world if you will. How we ended up down the rabbit hole is a mystery to us. But we'd like to wake up from our dream soon.

Here's how are lives are actually playing out. Somehow it seems oddly familiar but we can't quite put our fingers on it. Experience the slow burn of our brains as we try to keep track of more and more people, places, things and events!

Our world in Five Chapters and how we try to cope!

Chapter 1. Remembering all of our friends!? Including spouses AND kids!

As we're walking to our kid's back to school night, we realize we forgot to review the class lists, especially names of parents. Of course the first person we see is someone we know we're supposed to know. We elbow our wives: "Honey, what's her name again?" "How do we know her?" "What are the names of her kids?" "Do our kids play together?" It's impossible to keep track of everyone. We hardly even remember our own kids' birthdays.

(What's that burning smell? That's our brains beginning to smoke!)

2. Quick status updates.

That very same night in school. "Who were we just talking to?"  "Was that the woman that just got divorced?" "What was her creepy husband's name? The one that cheated on her with the Reading Specialist?" "What's the name of the new Reading Specialist?"

(Our head is now fully engulfed in smoke with trickles of fire coming out of our ears!)

3.Event reminders.

Every morning we wake to the sounds of: "Don't forget to call your mother back." "The kids need a lunch." "Tonight is PTO meeting." "So and so called you." "Let's compare calendars before you make plans." "Remember the kids have games every night this week." "Where is your gig tonight?"

(Our brain is beginning to melt. Our frontal cortex is starting to sag!)

4. Old Flames and friends.

Some of THE GUYS live in the same home town they grew up in. This is never good if you're trying to avoid the past. The local coffee shop, movie theater or ball field are dangerous venues to have to relive those old high school days. You know, the ones you've worked many years at forgetting. Just the other day we ran into an old crush, reminding us about unrequited love. Please get away from us you vampire! And now we have to actually remember her kids too. Crap.

(Can you say, Total Meltdown. Our brain now resembles a charred steak, cooked long and hard to avoid any unwanted disease.)

5. New Friends.

Now we have all these new friends. Mostly inherited due to common social obligations and kids. Some have actually become true friends, but most will slowly pass through our lives in a few months or few years. New friends come with new responsibilities. New things to save in the data files. Keeping on top of this vast number of people has put us over the top!

(You see those flakes floating in the air? Those are the final ashes of our completely seared brains!)

But we're all good. Because we can easily replace our brain with a good old fashioned computer. And we'll transfer all our saved files, including new friends, event reminders, status updates, etc. onto one site so that we can keep it all straight.

Wait a second??!!! Isn't that called Facebook?

It is difficult to think without a brain. But how could we forget?

And one more good thing about being controlled by a computer chip, is that we can finally sit back and let something else do all our thinking for us!



25 Comments on Why we need Facebook

  1. It’s crazy timing that you posted this today, because I posted about how technology can harm our relationships. Of course mobile calendars connecting all the family events, and cheat sheet notes that I put in my iPhone about the names of the parents of my kids friends are how technology is supposed to work–by helping us.

  2. Whahaha I loved the resemblance! Oh but man that was some scary smoke! Luckily you can download all the information you gathered into your PC huh ^_^? Technology takes up such a big part in our lives these days.
    I can still remember that I had to write my essays with a pen! But now, kids need to have a PC, they have rules for the layout and font. Times changed rather quickly!

  3. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! FaceBook! FaceBook! hahahahahahahaha! This is all just tooooooooo funny!!!!

  4. Yes, we are being controlled by technology these days.Why we need facebook…..haha…
    Enjoyed reading your post. 🙂

  5. Sad but true…I can remember when I use to frown at the so called ‘Smart House’ The first time I saw a model of one…I thought..why are we designing things to make us stupid and lazy. I mean this house did everything for you. I was under the impression that advancement meant getting better and smarter…I guess I read that all wrong.
    Getting back to your thoughts …technology is doing mankind in and we are guiding it all the way. Personally I try very hard to not be controlled by anything…unfortunately since I created womensselfesteem.com and my blogs…ug…I am slave to my computer. My only real justification is that it is helping others.
    Facebook not so much but I do see how many people are totally engulfed in it. AS I said sad but true:(
    I can think back even further and I recall having friends that were addicted talking on the phone. Now one could say that being able to connect or communicate is an innate need for people that are somewhat needy and cannot be alone. Still it was an addiction of sorts.
    I guess we can go back even further and find those little steps towards advancement being abused and not having a balance.
    Maybe it is just the human condition 🙂

  6. What a witty and thoughtful post! There was a time when I kept so many of the names of family, friends and acquaintances on the computer with birthdays and relevant info. Then my computer crashed and it was lost. I now keep all important info in a locked place. I can see the merit of Facebook, though. Staying in touch in real time and oops, some old remnants from the past. As Dorothy said, though, I have enough to do just blogging so before I need a twelve-step program, I am limiting my venues. Thanks for the humor. The Guys are great at getting to the point!

  7. Alas I to live my live through Facebook (hanging my head in shame). ;o)

  8. so much interesting to read

  9. LOL! Hilarious. Fully enjoyed that. My friends and I seem to discuss Faceabook endlessly; some people are so against it and feel it replaces true human contact; and others feel quite differently. Enjoyed the blog. And thanks for befriending me!

  10. So funny. I can totally relate. When I go out in my hometown, I always run into people from high school. It is so awkward. Facebook doesn’t help much, though, when someone befriends you, you recognize them, but the last name is different. Like….hmmm, I know I should know your name, but you’re married now, and it’s throwing me off.

  11. This is ‘right on’ ! Thanks again!

  12. surveygirl46 // October 6, 2009 at 2:23 am //

    I loved this post! I think Facebook is a great way to show how many notches you have on your “friend” belt, without all the responsbility of pretending to care LOL.
    Now if they would quit asking me to be their Farmtown neighbor and quit sending me sheep and stuff; i have no more room out in the garage…

  13. Thanks for visiting my blog. I find Facebook really useful to keep up with friends living abroad. I try to resist its applications but really like the typing maniac game!

  14. I find not giving a shit far easier.

  15. I go in and out of Facebook. ~Hard to find the time, but the reconnections are great. My long ago best friend who moved away after kindergarten and now lives miles away in Alaska found me on FB!

  16. I go in and out of Facebook. ~Hard to find the time, but the reconnections are great. My long ago best friend who moved away after kindergarten and now lives miles away in Alaska found me on FB!

  17. I like facebook, but it has gotten out of hand hasn’t it? I hate that 90% of my friends on there are people I haven’t spoken to since high school. And most of them weren’t all that nice to me then! It can be a great time waster though for those days when the work day is dragging!

  18. Hey Guys – did you know that a facebook page can prevent you from getting a Job ?
    yeahhh, I did an interview earlier today with a Corporate HR Pro who said matter of factly that it’s the worse indication of a persons behind the scenes business.
    Thats’ Why We DON’T DO FACEBOOK.
    Lately we’ve come to believe LESS Is Truly MORE In OH SO Many Ways.

  19. LOL sometimes I feel like my brain is melting from all I have to remember too. I Facebook but only to play games sometimes (yes I admit it, I love Vampire Wars!) to escape from life and keep in touch with people who live out of state or out of the country. Unfortunately my family keeps finding me there. 😛

  20. Delightful post. All your writing has a wonderful energy, humorous and serious at the same time. Until 5 months ago I had never even used a computer. Why overload our brains with all this extraneous memory? The natural and healthy thing is to move on and forget.

  21. Love the discussion here. All of your comments are well received and given much thought! Thanks so much.
    As the world grows smaller, each of our individual worlds grow larger.
    That is what we are trying to come to terms with. Hopefully we get an “A” for effort!! If nothing else 🙂

  22. LOL I love my facebook – and now I have two accounts, one for my personal/professional relationships, one for my blog (I write under a pseudonym right now) that I just started last night…. It’s incredibly convenient for all those silly reminders. I used to juggle Facebook, MySpace and Twitter until i realized I was spending more time updating my status everywhere than I was actually doing anything! Great Blog!

  23. Thank God I am not so overly reliant on Facebook and other networking means. Although I must admit I can appreciate it’s use, I’m still an old fashion girl at heart. 🙂

  24. I’m not “dependent” on Facebook. Really. I can quit anytime I want. 🙂

  25. I have never been on Facebook. Am I missing out?

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