Our lives are slowly spiraling out of control. We have somehow entered a new realm, an alternate world if you will. How we ended up down the rabbit hole is a mystery to us. But we'd like to wake up from our dream soon.
Here's how are lives are actually playing out. Somehow it seems oddly familiar but we can't quite put our fingers on it. Experience the slow burn of our brains as we try to keep track of more and more people, places, things and events!
Our world in Five Chapters and how we try to cope!
Chapter 1. Remembering all of our friends!? Including spouses AND kids!
As we're walking to our kid's back to school night, we realize we forgot to review the class lists, especially names of parents. Of course the first person we see is someone we know we're supposed to know. We elbow our wives: "Honey, what's her name again?" "How do we know her?" "What are the names of her kids?" "Do our kids play together?" It's impossible to keep track of everyone. We hardly even remember our own kids' birthdays.
(What's that burning smell? That's our brains beginning to smoke!)
2. Quick status updates.
That very same night in school. "Who were we just talking to?" "Was that the woman that just got divorced?" "What was her creepy husband's name? The one that cheated on her with the Reading Specialist?" "What's the name of the new Reading Specialist?"
(Our head is now fully engulfed in smoke with trickles of fire coming out of our ears!)
Every morning we wake to the sounds of: "Don't forget to call your mother back." "The kids need a lunch." "Tonight is PTO meeting." "So and so called you." "Let's compare calendars before you make plans." "Remember the kids have games every night this week." "Where is your gig tonight?"
(Our brain is beginning to melt. Our frontal cortex is starting to sag!)
4. Old Flames and friends.
Some of THE GUYS live in the same home town they grew up in. This is never good if you're trying to avoid the past. The local coffee shop, movie theater or ball field are dangerous venues to have to relive those old high school days. You know, the ones you've worked many years at forgetting. Just the other day we ran into an old crush, reminding us about unrequited love. Please get away from us you vampire! And now we have to actually remember her kids too. Crap.
(Can you say, Total Meltdown. Our brain now resembles a charred steak, cooked long and hard to avoid any unwanted disease.)
5. New Friends.
Now we have all these new friends. Mostly inherited due to common social obligations and kids. Some have actually become true friends, but most will slowly pass through our lives in a few months or few years. New friends come with new responsibilities. New things to save in the data files. Keeping on top of this vast number of people has put us over the top!
(You see those flakes floating in the air? Those are the final ashes of our completely seared brains!)
But we're all good. Because we can easily replace our brain with a good old fashioned computer. And we'll transfer all our saved files, including new friends, event reminders, status updates, etc. onto one site so that we can keep it all straight.
Wait a second??!!! Isn't that called Facebook?
It is difficult to think without a brain. But how could we forget?
And one more good thing about being controlled by a computer chip, is that we can finally sit back and let something else do all our thinking for us!
THE "MACHINES" GUYS