Does this mean he doesn’t love me?

Dear Guys,

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and a half and it’s all good. He’s a great guy, he doesn’t cheat or flirt with other girls, he spends a lot of time with me, he’s generally great. He’s not a very romantic guy and I’ve gotten used to that and accepted it. Sex was there to remind me that he does want me romantically.

However, after living together for basically a half a year and having sex a couple times a day he said that he doesn’t want to have sex everyday. (Once every few days or once a week ideally). He said because we do it so much there’s no passion and it doesn’t feel like it’s supposed to. He does get aroused very fast but he just won’t do it. Plenty other guys flirt with me and call me sexy. It can’t be that he got bored because I’m definitely pro-experimenting and we do get wild, but he said he’s not attracted to me anymore, or not as much as he was. I do intend to go to the gym and eat healthier and get a hotter body but I also plan to marry the guy and I don’t want someone who will make me feel like a piece of crap and not want to have sex with me just because I’ve put on some baby weight. I’m not overweight, but I’m not a model either.


Dear Tammy,

It’s very important to be with a partner who not only accepts your physical appearance, but is attracted to you, and wants to have sex with you. We’re not saying this is the only important quality of a solid relationship, but for guys, being with a woman whom they find attractive and want to have sex with, is vital, especially in the earlier stages of a relationship. That said, having sex twice a day would be hard to sustain, even for the most enthusiastic and libidinous man.

You’ve heard the statement: Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well, absence also makes a guy’s hormones go wild. You didn’t say if your guy was younger, older, inexperienced, experienced, but when he talks about your sex life lacking passion, probably what he’s saying is, he wants to feel more excited about being with you, and right now he doesn’t. What he doesn’t realize is that he’s completely depleted and needs to let his body recover in between sessions. We’d suggest scaling back your sex to once a day, or every other day, or maybe even two-three times per week as he suggests. If you don’t want to completely scale back, maybe try being together without climaxing on one day, and then climaxing the next. We can guarantee his desire will kick back in quite quickly.

That said, the above advice only applies if he still loves you and is still attracted to you. If what he’s really saying is, “I don’t love you anymore and don’t find you attractive anymore” then that is a different beast entirely.

We suggest a heart-to-heart conversation to see if you can find out what’s really going on with him. Maybe implement Plan A first and see if some of his passion is rekindled. Hopefully he’ll realize again how much he desires you.

If you have any follow-up questions or thoughts, please leave in the comments’ section below the post. You must be Logged In to do so.



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