Finding a date for prom

Other questions about the Prom: (If you have a question about your upcoming prom, ask away.)

A confused girl; the prom

The prom 

Also Read:

Do looks matter?   and  High school dating: Am I hot or not? 

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Dear Guys,

I’m a senior in high school and prom is two months away.

I switched schools my junior year and I’ve had trouble making friends—from being shy—so I’m not really close friends with anyone at my new school, especially with guys. Also, I’ve never been asked to anything before, so I’m a little worried that I won’t get asked for prom.

So I guess my question is this: Should I dwell on having a date, if I don’t get asked? Should I even go at all?

Thank you for reading,

Morgan

Dear Morgan,

Thanks for your question.

There’s a lot of hype and fantasy around high school prom. Boys are often told by their older brothers, or older guys “that know,” that it’s a night where girls will be more open to giving up the “goods” so to speak. Just the thought of that possibility is enough to make them woozy with excitement. For girls, prom is sometimes thought of as a trial run to that magical wedding they hope to have someday. But the reality is, the actual night certainly can be fun, but it rarely lives up to expectations.

But still, we encourage you to go if at all possible, because for every person the experience is different. Some people actually do have a great time, and it is a unique part of the high school experience that only happens at this time in your life. But we’d recommend going with another person. (Going by yourself won’t be much fun, unless you go with a group of other singles. But that might be difficult since you don’t know many people at the school.)

But there are other options besides having a guy ask you out and going by yourself. The key is to not dwell on the date aspect of this. Who constitutes your “date” can be very loosely defined.

The person could be:

1. An official date where a boy asks you to go.

2. A guy friend whom you feel comfortable going with as just friends.

3. A girl friend whom you feel comfortable going as friends so you can check out the scene.

If there’s no one at your new school to go with, have you thought about asking someone from your old school? It might seem far-fetched but it’s not. A few of  us (GUYS) went to proms at other schools, even in other states. (And of course a few of us didn’t even go to prom.) There’s also the option of going to the prom at your old school. Did you have someone special there? Even just a good friend to go with? Something to think about.

Morgan, give it another few weeks; if it looks like you’re not going to get asked—and don’t feel badly about this because high school boys won’t ask a girl unless they’re sure the girl will say yes; and since you’re new, and no one really knows you that well, you are a mystery, and thus not a sure thing—you need to get proactive and see if you can find a date to go with. We know this isn’t ideal, but it’s worth making the effort.

However, Morgan, if nothing works out, treat yourself to something fun that night, and try not to worry about it. It’s not a reflection of you, it’s just circumstance.

Good luck,

THE GUYS

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2 Comments on Finding a date for prom

  1. Roxanne Jones // March 7, 2012 at 12:09 pm //

    Does my ex boyfriend want to get back together or does he just want to be friends? He broke up with me in early December and it was for no apparent reason. We were crazy in love with each other. We spent every day together and I even went to Alabama with his family for thanksgiving. I did text and call him a lot after we broke up, however I stopped trying about a month ago. In january we hung out one night but then we stopped talking again. I have a class with one of his best friends and he became interested in me fast! I told him I didn’t want a relationship and that I was still not over my ex. Last week my ex called me apologizing and he said he was just at his friends. So I assume they talked about me. We’ve been talking every day since then. He kept telling me to order a pizza from his work so he could see me I guess. I went to his work and we talked and he seemed pretty nervous since he was stuttering. Then sunday night he invited me to this friends condo to stay the night. He told me that night that he asked his friend that was interested in me if I still smoked which made me think that they did talk about me! One of his friends that were there that night told him he should be dating me. However that night he was screaming about this girl there saying she was sexy. I can’t tell if he is interested at all or just wants to be friends. Does he still love me?!

  2. @Roxanne….Okay, let’s see. Ex breaks up with you for no apparent reason. His friend becomes interested in you. Now ex is possibly interested again, although he still talks about other girls. Hmm…
    When a guy breaks up with a woman there’s a reason. Usually he’s been mulling it over for a while before he actually does the breaking up. The key here is to find out why he broke up with you in the first place. That might give you some insight into your question. But our gut tells us your ex just doesn’t want his good buddy to be with you. Guys are territorial like that, especially when it comes to sex. And especially sex with one of his friends. (We’re not saying you’re doing that, we’re just saying he’s thinking that.) And finally, just because your ex acts jealous, and is now acting interested, doesn’t mean he wants to get back together. Talk to him and get some real answers. But trust your gut. On another note: There’s nothing wrong with you dating his friend. But I doubt your ex will be happy about it and will surely impact his relationship with his buddy. Good luck.

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