Have you dated this guy?

Picking a life partner is not easy. You have your list of criteria and most people don’t make the cut. On the flip side, what is easy, is getting blinded by a guy who wildly surpasses your criteria causing you to ignore his unflattering qualities.

It’s difficult to categorize individuals, but for the purpose of fun, we’ve written out twelve descriptions of various guys. So let’s play a game called: Who’s this guy? Read each description and see if the guy we’re describing sounds familiar to you, as in, you’ve dated him before, or maybe you’re even dating him now.

Guy Number One: The Self-Proclaimed Prophet…. This guy wows you with his intellect. (He knows a little about a lot of things.) He’s great in the sack. (Until you realize what that really means years later.) Turns out he’s wowing other woman too. The relationship ends and he convinces you it was your fault.

Guy Number Two: The Artist…. You love how creative he is. But he’s broke. You pay for everything, but you don’t mind because you believe in his work. He’s also good in the sack, or rather, he’s good on the futon. Things are great until he finds another nude model.

Guy Number Three: The One that Got Away…. His non-profit job is interesting. He volunteers his time to coach basketball in the inner-city. He’s poor and doesn’t want to go out much because he doesn’t have any money, partly because he’s paying for his younger brother to go college. Even though he doesn’t take you out, he makes an effort to show you he cares. He gives you sweet cards and handmade gifts that you know took him hours to make. You like that he’s thoughtful, but your friends make fun of him, and you, for dating him. They call him cheap even though you don’t think he is. Doubt starts to grow until you can’t imagine a future with him. You dump him and ignore the sadness in your gut instead of ignoring your friends. You find out years later he’s now running the non-profit and happily married with three kids.

Guy Number Four: Mr. Needy….He wants to be with you all of the time. He can’t get enough of you. He gives you gifts, smothers you with affection. Your parents love him. You love him, well, for a time. You say to yourself, “Finally, a guy who communicates!” (Your last boyfriend hardly listened to you unless he was trying to get you in the sack.) Your new guy is different. But something doesn’t feel right. You know you should be happy but you find his devotion a bit smothering. Finally you dump him citing a creepiness factor that you can’t get over.

Guy Number Five: The Go-Getter,,,,,,Type A. He throws himself into everything he does. You love his work ethic and the way he takes care of his body. (He’s always working out. And he runs marathons.) Gosh, he’s got a great body! He inspires you to get in shape, take better care of yourself. He’s a lot of fun. But he can’t sit still long enough to talk about the relationship. He says he’s so busy he doesn’t have time to discuss the next step in your relationship. That’s okay you say to yourself. But after putting up with it for years you give him one last chance to figure out if you are the one he wants. Finally he admits that he’s met someone else. It takes you a long time to get over him.

Guy Number Six: The Other One that Got Away…… He’s perfect in every way. Tall, handsome, athletic, funny, outgoing and sensitive. Everyone loves him. Your parents, your friends. He has a well-paying job and volunteers at the local hospital. He surprises you with exotic trips and home cooked meals. He is loving and generous. You can’t find anything wrong with him. Which makes you nervous. He’s got to be hiding something. Some sort of dark secret. You question him and he’s patient. He says he has nothing to hide. You nod your head but you don’t believe him. You start feeling insecure. You start doubting him. Yourself. The relationship. Nobody can be this perfect. Then you discover that he visits an old high school girlfriend without telling you. Of course you don’t see the note he left explaining that her mother is sick and wants to see him before she passes. When he returns you argue. You fight. He explains. You fight more. He apologizes, even though he knows he didn’t do anything wrong. The fighting continues and you break up because you want to believe the worst. You realize weeks later that maybe it was your own paranoia but it’s too late.

Guy Number Seven: The Soon to be Gay Guy……He really understands you and listens to you. He just gets you. You love his fashion sense. Finally a guy who isn’t a slob! Jeez, he even dresses well when he’s lounging around the house on weekends. One day you’re straightening up his place and you discover an autographed copy of a Mark Wahlburg’s memoir about modeling for Calvin Klein. You start to wonder. Hmm….No, it can’t be. We have sex don’t we? But there’s that funny issue of him never being able to finish.

Guy Number Eight: The Emotionally Available Guy…..He really understands you and listens to you and gets you. You’re worried that he’s gay because he’s kind of like your gay friend. But then again he’s not. Years later you go to a seminar on relationships and he’s running it. WTF!

Guy Number Nine: The DB (Douche Bag)…..He has great paying job. He buys you things. Takes you places. Treats you like gold, but treats everyone else like crap, including his boss. You don’t realize this because he’s so sweet to you. But then he gets fired. He blames his boss and says the guy’s a douche bag anyway. Then he’s out of work for a time and starts treating you like he treats everyone else. You try to help him get back on his feet but he doesn’t want your help. He resents you, but you keep trying. You try until he confesses his love for the barista at Starbucks.

Guy Number Ten: The Boring Guy…..He’s so nice. Just the nicest guy there could be. Nicer than anyone you’ve ever known. So nice you can’t stand him after a few months.

Guy Number Eleven: The Narcissist…..He’s self-righteous. But he’s damn interesting. He makes you want to change and be a better and smarter person. He wants you to see your true potential. You love him for that. Finally someone who believes in you. Until you realize he just wants you to change and be a female version of him.

Guy Number Twelve: The Different Guy……He’s so different. You don’t even know what that means, just that he’s not like your last string of boyfriends. It works for a time, until you realize you don’t know really who he is. He’s a shape-shifter, a phantom. You leave when you realize he doesn’t know who he is either.

Do any of these guys seem familiar? Have you dated any of them? Please share your experiences. Or tell us about another type of guy. Or Guys: About a type of woman you’ve dated?

2 Comments on Have you dated this guy?

  1. So I’ve dated a combination of 1,4,5 and 11 in one and then 4and 11 in another. But man I’m waiting for that combination of 6 and 8. I won’t let him get away.

  2. @Eulonda…..And hopefully he won’t let you get away either!

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