I have a few questions and I was wanting to get answers from a male perspective. My friend G and I have been constantly talking since New Years day 2015. We text all the time and see each other at the local gym everyday. Since then, we became best friends and we share everything. He has even told me that he has told me things that he doesnt even share with his best guy friends. He usually always texts me first and if not then I text him and I obviously really like this guy even more than just a best friend level. He is so sweet and literally perfect. BUT I feel more confused than I have ever been. He says and texts me very sweet things that only boyfriends would say but we aren’t in a relationship and he gives me forehead kisses and says I’m perfect and beautiful and he says everything about me is perfect but I think we have fallen into that FWB zone. Although, we do hang out and go out to eat and even had a double “date” with his bestfriend and his girlfriend recently; we held hands throughout the entire movie. When we hang out at his house we usually end up watching a movie and laying down but we dont have sex even though we both want to. We do make out so basically we are FWB but without the benefits. And I clearly want more but I haven’t told him that because he has told me about three times not to get attached to him because then he will get attached. I’m so confused. He acts like my boyfriend but doesn’t want me to get attached to him. I really want something more but I’m not sure how he feels. I’ve met all his friends and his parents and his brother. He tells me I’m his favorite and that I am his. He always tells me that I make him feel good and that I make him happy and that he misses me, but I don’t know what to think because I feel like he is giving me mixed signals.
Can you tell me what you think?
Thanks for your question.
We know this seems like he’s giving you mixed-signals, but typically when a guy says to a woman, “Don’t get attached….” that means he’s evaluated and decided that he doesn’t want to commit to anything serious with her. And since your guy friend respects you, and very much likes you as a friend, he’s trying his best to be a good guy and not take advantage of the situation.
So you might ask: Then why does he cuddle with me, say sweet things to me, make out with me?
It’s pretty basic. Guys have their needs to, both emotionally and physically. But remember, a guy can do all of those things with a woman, including regular sex, but still not get attached the way a woman might. So if he’s giving you mixed signals—doing one thing, but saying another—be aware that he means what he says.
Sorry. We know you like this guy, but honestly, we don’t see it happening beyond a FWB. And that’s not something that’s going to make you happy. (Of course, we hope we’re wrong. Maybe he’ll wake up and see that he’s missing out on a great thing. Unless he’s gay and you’re not aware of it. Of course we don’t know him, but trying to cover all the bases.)
Take care of yourself.
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