Read: e-reports on Friends with Benefits for some useful information
Okay, so a good friend recommended this site to me so I’m resorting to you guys.
My problem is, I have this really, really awesome “Friends with Benefits” going. We’ve been in this arrangement for a little over than three months now and the sex has been going great between us; it’s fun and sizzling and most definitely something we look forward to at least two or three times a week. But the relationship is confusing. I’m pretty sure he’s starting to develop some feelings for me. I don’t want to go there. How do I tell him this without him hurting him? Or can I tell him I don’t want anything more than the sex, without him leaving me and cutting off the FWB relationship? Because, really, it doesn’t matter if you think it’s selfish, I really love the sex with him. He’s really awesome and all that but I don’t wanna be exclusive to him; I’m just not ready for a relationship. But I want him around. Help me, please?
Thanks for your question. Well this is an interesting twist on Friends with Benefits. Typically it’s the woman who decides she wants something more, and wonders if it’s possible. Question: Is it something about this guy specifically, or is it that you just want to date around? How old are you?
This is actually a pretty easy question to answer. Your FWB might want a relationship with you, but if you tell him you’re not interested in more than sex it’s very unlikely he’ll cut you off. And if you’re having sex as often as you say, he probably doesn’t have another FWB going. (Although it’s possible, but unlikely) Which means, you’re his pipeline to a good time. He’d be the rare guy who would stand his ground and decide to remove himself, just because you don’t want anything more serious.
We never make any guarantees, but this is as close to one as we can make. Our suggestion: Don’t say anything unless he brings it up. If he does, stroke his ego, tell him how great the sex is, and then tell him you’re not ready for a committed relationship. He might be hurt a little, but his biggest concern will be if you’re having sex with someone else as well. That’s the only glitch to this plan. He will definitely not want you having sex with anyone else. Guys are pretty flexible with the emotional piece, but they like exclusivity when it comes to sex. (For the woman, not them. Yes, a double standard) So you’re on your own with how you handle that. We always recommend the truth.
Good luck and be safe out there,
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