Generally, males put me on a pedestal and try to seduce me; but those very same males can be relaxed and platonic with another girl. (eg: a tomboy type/ a ‘big sister’ type) I am 16 and I prefer fun and romance-free connections with guy acquaintances. What turns your platonic side on? Help would be appreciated x
Dear Friend Girl,
Thanks for your question. Considering your age, we’re glad your prefer fun and romance-free connections with guy friends. We’re not saying you’re too young to be in a romantic relationship, but we balk a bit when you say guys are trying to seduce you all of the time. We’re just wondering how you’re constantly in the type of situation where guys feel like they can try to hook up with you? Could you clarify?
Now to the basic question for women of any age.
Guys are visual creatures. If you’re an attractive woman guys will want to have sex with you. There’s no way around that really. And that’s not a bad thing as long as you’re not fending off unwanted advances all of the time. Why? Because guys actually “behave” better when they’re with a woman they’re very attracted to. They always want to ensure they will continue having sex with her. So actually you really do want a guy who wants to seduce you; it just can’t be the only thing he wants. He’s got to want you for all of your great qualities. (Although some would say that sex is all a guy wants, and the rest is just posturing to have more sex.)
But that’s not really your concern. You want to know how to get them to stop. Here are some suggestions. (And understand that we’re not trying to reverse things on you. But there are things you can do to slow this down a bit. You may already be doing some of these things.)
1. Tone down your dress. Wear less revealing clothes. Baggier clothes. Not as much makeup.
2. Try to avoid parties where there’s a lot of alcohol and drugs. (Guys tend to feel more confident and less inhibited with a little help from a foreign substance.)
3. Be very clear you’re not interested. Don’t flirt. Hang out with your cool friends.
4. Tell guys you have a boyfriend. (Maybe he’s in the military or something. Or it’s a long distance romance if they ask who it is.)
Women often feel annoyed by having to put measures in place to avoid unwanted advances. They feel they should be able to do what they want, dress how they want, act how they want, and guys should just leave them alone. We’re sorry, but it doesn’t work that way. The sexier you appear, the more guys will notice, and want to have sex with you. It’s just reality. Of course women don’t complain when the “right guy” approaches them, but of course, just like anything, it takes time to sort through the frogs before you get to the prince.
In conclusion: Guys always feel more comfortable with a girl/woman they aren’t that physically attracted to. Once you remove sex from the equation it’s easy. No matter what you do, if you’re an attractive woman, guys will want to have sex with you. Be happy that you have that quality even though it’s annoying right now. As you gain experience, you’ll realize that being attractive is actually a huge asset for anyone. (There are many examples of this in life. The attractive person gets the job, etc. ) As you begin to understand this, you’ll get more comfortable wielding that power.
We hope this helps. Any questions? Feel free to ask as many follow up questions as you’d like.
ps. We hope you’ll share our site with all of your friends. Follow us on Twitter: @TGPBuzz. And take a moment to VOTE on our Ask our Audience page. Thanks.
Another post to check out: “Do Looks Matter”