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So my boyfriend just broke up with me today. We’ve been together for ten months and in the first half of the relationship he was so sure about me, saying I was the girl he’s going to marry and that no one has ever treated him so well, and all that jazz.
Over the course of the relationship weird and strange things have come up making me seek clarification (ie. Girls heavily flirting and buying him gifts, a pair of girls shorts, stuff like that). I don’t believe he’s actually ever cheated though.
Anyhow, we see each other much during the week and I’d stay over most nights. Around a month ago he said he was having doubts and that’s he’s unsure and that he doesn’t feel he loves me as much as he should. That totally came out of left field. He asked to take it back the next day.
Now a month later, a day after making Christmas date plans, he said he was still having these doubts. He said he cares for me but just doesn’t know what’s going on in his mind anymore as one day he’s super into it and the next he’s confused. So as a result, he ended it with me so as not to keep stringing me along.
My question is: What makes a guy confused especially when things were so good? I just don’t get this.
We are sorry. This sounds hard. We hope you’re surrounding yourself with people who care about you.
Sometimes confusion stems from a feeling. We don’t doubt that things were good as you say, but something must have been missing for him. It’s hard for us to say what that was, but it was something. What’s even more confusing is that he might not be able to articulate what it is, which of course, leaves you even more confused.
What’s important to note here Rose, is that it may seem like this all came out of left field, but that’s not how this works. We’ll explain. He brought up his doubts for the first time a month ago. This means he had been having doubts for quite sometime, he just hadn’t said anything to you. This is a pretty common pattern. See below.
- Guy has doubts.
- He misbehaves a little. (Flirts with other women. Etc.)
- He expresses doubts hoping that by expressing them, he’ll be able to put them aside.
- He takes it all back, still hoping he can overcome them.
- Doubts continue.
- Break up.
What we would suggest is that you take some time to focus on yourself and not rush into something new. We wish you all the best.
Do you have any follow-up questions? Leave in the comments below.
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