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I’m hoping for a second date. Should I contact him again?

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Hi Guys,

I have a first-date question… This is kind of similar to another question you just answered actually… but I still want your opinion lol. I met a guy really randomly a few weeks back— I was lost and asked him for directions, and we got to chatting briefly and we suggested going for coffee or drinks sometime and exchanged numbers. After that we texted pretty frequently. We did finally meet up last week —I think we were both a little drained. He was preparing for a conference that he was going away for this past weekend and I had a pretty busy day as well.

But the date went pretty well. (At least I think it did.) I was a bit nervous but I didn’t feel that “omg I need to get out of here” kind of feeling I’ve had on other dates! And I did notice subtle body language on his part that usually shows interest, like mimicking my own hand gestures, brushing my hand and that sort of thing. He was very attentive to what I was saying and I was attentive to what he was saying. But I was also nervous and when I’m nervous a part of me can err a little more to the stand-offish side rather than flirtatious.

At the end of the night (we hung out for at least three hours) he did walk me home but instead of trying to kiss me he gave me a friendly hug – but it was the one-arm hug! (The same hug we gave each other when we met up at the beginning of the night.) And when we said bye he said he’d let me know how his conference goes.

I was kind of confused because I thought the date went well and I didn’t pick up on any “he’s not interested” vibes so I was a little thrown off that he just said he’d let me know how it goes and not make even tentative plans for another date. I texted him the next day to say have a good weekend (conference was out of town) and he should’ve been back by tonight and I haven’t heard from him.

Usually if I don’t think a date went well I just walk away and say too bad, but he’s honestly the best guy I have met in a looooonng time and I’m reluctant to just walk away because I think I might have given off the “not-interested” vibes without meaning to. I figure he’s back in town now and I am not sure if I should text him asking him how it went? I don’t like initiating contact two times in a row but I’m wondering that if I did give off the wrong impression maybe that’s why he’s gone off the radar. But if I text him tomorrow or something asking him how it went would that just be really weird or would that maybe encourage him to at least talk to me again?? I can’t bring myself to totally walk away this time around but I also want to maintain some sort of dignity lol.

Thanks!

Michelle

Dear Michelle, 

Ahh the ambiguity of the “one arm hug.” How wonderful. (We’re being sarcastic)

So we see your dilemma. Kind of. You see Michelle, if he has any sort of self-confidence, your “not interested” vibe would not be enough to dissuade him from getting back in touch with you. It’s not like you were acting that way when you first met him. You were actually out on a date, which means he must surmise that you were—or are—interested in him enough to spend more time with him than you actually needed to.

So we still think you need to let him take the initiative here. If he doesn’t get in touch with you in a week or so, feel free to text him then. But if we were in this situation, and we met a girl like you who we really liked, we’d definitely be looking forward to seeing you again. And we’d be contacting you as soon as we felt we could, especially being emboldened by your follow up text.

Be patient on this one. You don’t need to let it die, but you also don’t need to breathe life into it. It’s either going to happen or it’s not. And if he can’t see what’s in front of him, well then that’s his problem. Wait and week and then go from there.

We’re hoping this works out for you.

Take care,

THE GUYS

ps. Feel free to ask us a follow question. Say hi to your friends up there in Canada. And check out our new “Relationship Memoirs” page. You might enjoy the latest contributions from Charlotte Pescale. “Rebecca, a memoir”

36 Comments on I’m hoping for a second date. Should I contact him again?

  1. @Claudia…….Sorry for the delay. We took Sunday off. So we’re curious what advice you got from both your male and female friends? Typically a guy doesn’t really know how he feels until he sleeps with a woman. Everything prior is “foreplay” and a dance to actually get a woman in bed. Once a guy has sex his mind clears and can think about what he really wants. Although a footnote to that is some guys think there lack of passion means they aren’t into the woman when really it’s the chemicals in their bodies changing. If that makes sense. Our advice: Don’t call this guy. Let him initiate. Sure he’s busy with kids, but everyone is busy. We’re all busy. If he was really interested he would have called you. And consider this: Don’t you think, if he was a good guy, or a considerate guy, or a thoughtful guy, he would understand that after you have sex with someone you should check in with them or else they’ll be worried that something wasn’t right? The fact that he didn’t do that seems to be a red-flag for us. Your thoughts? Feel free to ask as many follow-up questions as you’d like. ps. We hope you’ll share our site with all of your friends. Thanks. We appreciate it.

  2. Hi Guys,

    Similar question to the original post. Here’s my situation:

    I messaged a guy on OKC. After several message exchanges, I got tired of waiting for him to ask to meet in person, so I suggested drinks. I thought it was appropriate to ask him since I was the first to message.

    Anyway, to that he responded by asking for my facebook, which I thought a little strange, since my profile is very complete on OKC. I friended him, and he ‘approved’ and asked to meet.

    Well, drinks went really well, and he followed up with a second date. the second date was biking around the city, going to the farmer’s market, etc. I was exhausted because I had hosted a party the night before, and I tried really hard to be engaging, but I wasn’t on my A-game.

    During the next week we exchanged some texts, and he ‘accidentally’ sent me a text to someone else saying something about a show. He immediately followed up saying sorry for that, but that I could come too, to which I said yes.

    Day of the show- he bails. I let him know I’ll be out and about, and he mentions that he’ll be nearby. I don’t hear anything from him for the rest of the night til I text him and he apologizes for being flakey and tells me to come out to meet him at a bar.

    After much deliberation with my friends, we go. I meet him there, he was courteous, but I didn’t stay long because I had to work the next morning. So far it’s been only hugs, and that’s how we parted.

    So, after an evening of chasing him (which I’m not pleased about but knowingly did anyway) I haven’t heard from him all week. Is it time to drop him and move on to other prospects?? Oddly enough I do want to see him again even though I’ve gotten some red flags from this guy. I’d prefer he be the one to chase, but so far it’s been me.

  3. @Sandra……..You have been getting some red-flags, or at least some inconsistent messages, which to us is a red-flag. We suggest you pull back and let him initiate from now on. It doesn’t matter that you were the first to message, the guy needs to be the one to push things forward, otherwise you’ll never be able to truly gauge his interest. All that said, we usually equate flakiness with indifference. You don’t necessarily have to drop him—don’t do any more work though—but definitely be open to other prospects. Thoughts? Questions? Ask away. ps. We hope you’ll share our site with all of your friends. Follow us on Twitter: @TGPBuz. And share on Facebook. Please help a fellow reader and take a moment to VOTE on our Ask our Audience page. Thanks.

  4. Hey guys, thanks for that advice. Like you to said to Michelle, wait a week and go from there. Well, it’s been over a week now, and he’s still on my mind. You guys said to not put any more work into it, but would a text suggesting we should meet again be going against that? Like michelle said, “I can’t bring myself to totally walk away this time around but I also want to maintain some sort of dignity”

  5. @Sandra…..He hasn’t contacted you yet? You can send a text if you want, but we think he isn’t going to change. A text might jog his memory, and maybe even remind him to ask you out again, but this is him, and this is what you’re going to get. A lukewarm, on and off reception. We know he’s on your mind, but frankly, we’re not so sure what’s on his mind. What do you think?

  6. So I met this guy on NYE and we really hit it off. We had been in contact every day since we’ve met, with him initiating. He contacted me midweek to set up a dinner date on Friday night. He then called the night before to confirm I wanted to go and decided what we would do. Friday night came and we wanted to see a sports games. We tried a few venues that were too packed and finally found one. We were there for 3 hours! We talked, watched the game, joked a bit, and had a good time. Towards the end, it got a bit quiet because I think we both ran out of things to say after that long. He was a complete gentleman the whole time. He held my hand down stairs, opened doors, pulled my chair out, commented, “You’re prettier than I remember.”, and just overall nice. He even asked permission to look at his phone and explained the whole story of why he had to respond. It was very polite. Anyway, he walked me home and I gave him a hug and thanked him and walked into my apartment. I was kind of nervous to give him a kiss. I texted him after that I had a good time and thanks again. He immediately responded saying, “glad you had some fun. Was a bit worried after striking out couple times on venues, but worked out pretty well. Sleep tight pretty.” I responded with an inside joke and he said “Ha.”
    Does he still seem interested? I’m afraid I sent mixed signals that I didn’t kiss him and the goodbye was kind of awkward…

  7. @Mardi……That shouldn’t deter him if he’s truly interested. Don’t over think this just let him initiate for a while—texts, calls, dates—and keep us posted.

  8. Hey it’s Sandra again,

    Well, one month later from my last post, and I have some updates.

    I’m finding myself still interested in this on-and-off again guy!

    Because of the holidays, we didn’t see much of each other. I did hang out with him after Christmas where we just made out, and a few days later he invited me over to play board games with his friends (albeit the invite was sent LATE on a Sat night). After his friends left, I did end up spending the night because I wanted to. His friends were cool and I had a lot of fun- he even admitted that his friends liked me. He left for a two week vacation a couple days later, but spent time texting me from over-seas.

    Now he is back, and when I ran into him coincidentally, he seemed happy to see me and suggested we ‘hang out’ soon. I have a feeling that ‘hanging out’ will overrule dates with this guy. I left him a cute note, and he has called me. Am I going in the booty call direction? Or is this courting? I feel like I’m doing a lot of chasing (which is kind of fun and educational on my part) but there is still a shadow of doubt about the intentions of this guy. How do I proceed to keep myself out of the booty-call zone and find out what he really wants?

  9. forgot to mention- neither of us has brought up what we are expecting from each other.

    another observation- his okcupid profile is disabled- yes- I’m keeping tabs.

  10. @Sandra……You’re already there. (Booty call that is) He isn’t taking any initiative. Our take: This isn’t going anywhere. We suggest you move on. He’s had plenty of opportunities and he’s doing nothing. Sorry. Just being honest.

  11. Hi Guys!
    Two weeks before Christmas break (which lasted for a month) i met this guy from my uni one night out and he asked for number. The next day he texted me and eventually he asked me out for two dates and we met a few times in the library as well before we both were going home for Christmas. He asked me to write to him during the break so we kept in touch. Now we’re both back again, and he texted me welcome back the same day as i got back. We were texting the following 2 days, he initiating it the first time, then me initiating it. Then we met at the library once for a coffee and he told me that we’ll probably hang out this weekend. After that neither him or i have texted each other (im waiting for him to text me since i was the one suggesting to meet up at the library).

    The thing is he had a really big exam yesterday and he hasnt texted me for the last 4 days. My friends tell me to give him some space and that he was busy studying and that he will text me now that his exam is over. Do you think he lost interest, or am i just being paranoid? It felt like he was into me last time we met, and im thinking if he wasnt interested he wouldnt have had to say that we would meet up this weekend, but now i dont know what to think…

  12. Oh I forgot to add that he did kiss me before we went home during the break

  13. @S….It’s all speculation, and worry. There’s nothing you can do but sit tight. And it’s best to let him initiate. What we will say is that inconsistent communication, and forgetting to follow through with plans are not good signs for any sort of interest. Or relationship. Keep us posted thought. Maybe he’s just busy.

  14. Hi, I met a guy online. After a few emails, we agreed to meet for a date. The date was great: we were both comfortable, had good conversation, and acknowledged we were very attracted to one another. We didn’t have sex, but kissed passionately before parting ways. Here’s the deal — he suggested we meet again the next Friday before our date ended, and I expressed my interest in doing so. He has not texted or called me once after the first date (4 days), and now the day that was designated for our second date is coming to a close, and I’m just confused. I realize he must have changed his mind about wanting to get to know me more, but it’s hard to believe it.

    There are other factors: before meeting for the first date, he had cancelled once with a day’s notice, so we had to reset. On the day we met, he had called to let me know that he had left early, which basically meant I met him 3 hours earlier than the original time we had set. So he’s very ad hoc or spontaneous with making arrangements, like he’s playing it by ear.

    The second factor is that most of his work is a distance away from where I am — a 3-4 hour drive, and calling would be long-distance. For the first date, he took pains to visit my area.

    So my question is this: when should I forget about him? Is he indifferent? The lack of any communication worries me. I even texted him 9 hours ago with a simple “hi” to remind him of the meet-up planned for today, and still have no response. I know he is working a good distance away, but he could have at least let me know it wasn’t going to happen.

    Should I not text or call him to see what’s up?

    Thanks in advance,

    Juliana

  15. p.s. I should add that the only text I have sent him since the first date was 9 hours ago (just “hi”), so I’m not coming off as needy, or taking serious initiative. I haven’t heard from him in almost 5 days now. It sucks 🙁

  16. @Juliana…..You should do nothing. Let him initiate, and when he does, let him apologize for being rude and uncommunicative. There are a lot of red-flags here. Are you sure you even want to deal with this? You’re not even in a relationship yet and he’s already playing games and not communicating. We say move on.

  17. Met a guy on a dating website and after 2 dates he told me he’s not “feeling it”, but then texted me later the next week. I want to know if I spooked him by getting to anxious after the second date and if he is still really interested how can I get him to ask me on a third. Here is what happened. Before the first date we exchanged a few emails, then he asks me out for a drink, so we meet on a Friday night and have a few drinks and some food, good conversation. About 4+ hours. We drove separately, so when we leave the bar he walks me to my car. I tell him that he is much cuter in person and he says “your not so bad yourself” then hugs me and I get into my car. Before I even get home he is texting me telling me how great it was to meet me and that maybe we can go out again sometime and get that wine we talked about. I text back and said that it was great meeting him too, and that I would love to get wine and that he could call me to make plans. He texts me again Sat morn to say Hi and later again Sat night to make plans for the wine. We decide to go out the following Wed for wine (we both have partial custody of our kids so this was next time available – should I mention that I am 42 and he is 40?) So he asks Sat night if he can facebook me, and I say yes. Sun morning he has FB me and we realize we have mutual friends. He texts me Sun morn to chat about it and later that night again to say hi. Texts me again Monday night to say hi and we text most the night. On Tues, I text him for the first time to see where he wants to meet on Wed. We text a little. Wed afternoon he texts me to firm up plans and we decide I will pick him up and we go to wine bar by his house. Great time, 3+ hours conversation. When I drop him off he invites me in for last call (it’s about 9pm) and we chat and have another glass of wine. We kiss a little and it gets pretty heated to the point of him telling me I should leave before he tears my clothes off. I laugh and leave and he tells me he will talk to me tomorrow (thurs). I never hear from him. Friday morning I text to say Hi. he texts back. In the afternoon I text and ask him if he would like to go out Sat night. He never replies. I start to worry a little. After work I call and leave him a voicemail asking him out in case he didn’t get my text for some reason (I was having phone problems the day before). No response. Later about 7:30 I get his texts finally sent that afternoon. They say nothing about going out. Still on the dating site, I email him a longer response about my dumb phone issues and that being the reason I texted and called about going out. No reply. I text him Sat morning and he responds to the first text, but not second asking him about that night. Starting to get frustrated, not knowing if it’s him or my dumb phone causing the problem, I call again and leave him a vm stating such. He finally texts me that afternoon and we go back and forth for a bit. Says that yeah, we’ll get together, but then later when I text for details and time he has changed him mind. Says he’s “not feeling it” and that he is not sure he wants to date right now? I am totally confused. I ask “what do you mean? you seemed like you were into me on Wed, what happened? What did I do? Typical “it’s nothing you did”. Since we are texting, I let it go but am sad because I really was liking him. On Sunday night, I email him again, telling him I am not trying to change his mind, I just wanted to know what happened or how I could be so wrong about how he was feeling. No reply. The following Friday I text him to invite him to a dinner party at my house, no strings, just come hang out and have fun. No reply, and he doesn’t show to the party, but he texts me a “hi” at about 1:15 am. I didn’t see it til much later, but I did reply “hi back :)” Is he still interested? What can I do? Do nothing?

  18. @Kim…..We’re sorry. We can see how you’d be confused. However, you’ve got to listen to his words and note his actions. He said he’s not feeling it. And all of a sudden he’s sporadic with his communication. Something happened, but it’s hard to say what. Maybe he realized this was going to get serious for some reason and he didn’t want that. Maybe he decided he wasn’t into you specifically. Maybe he realized he doesn’t want to date at all. Whatever it is you probably will never get a straight answer. The best thing you can do is stop contacting him. We know you had phone issues but you’ve contacted him too much and have initiated too much. The ball is in his court. He needs to step it up and call you to make plans. (And what’s up with all the texting and no calls? We love texting like anyone else but in matters of the heart we don’t think it’s the best idea) If he doesn’t ask you out soon it’s time to move on. And late night booty calls don’t count as calling. Try to remember what you really want and don’t settle. Good luck.

  19. Hi guys,
    I think I know the answer here, but a reality check would be appreciated.
    Met a guy on OKC (we are 40 and 45). We messaged back and forth quite a bit, great rapport, talked on the phone–great, he suggested coffee, which happened 10 days later (we’re both single parents with lots of custody). We met for drinks, which led to a walk, to dinner, to playing pool when no coffee places were open late, to making out. (too long of a date, I know, but it was awesome). Texted me to make sure I got home, said flattering things in it. Texted me three times the next day (I responded), a couple times two days later….pattern here a couple times every couple days (even once when he was off skiing with his kids he reached out).
    Then nothing for a few days–by now it’s 10 days after our date, so I reached out and said I had a great time, he made a great FIRST impression, would be interested in meeting up again sometime. He writes, “That’s brilliant.” Then NOTHING for 10 days. Accidentally ran into him on the street. We started texting again. Told me last week he’d “love to get together” but had his kids all week. Sent me video of his kid’s talent show performance (not totally random, there was a reference). Still….hasn’t asked me out again once. We live about an hour apart, both are busy….but still.
    I assume he met someone closer and more compelling. He’s not been active on OKC since the night he got my “let’s hang out again” email. Hmmm.
    Let it go, right? I ‘ve stopped texting him, leaving it in his court. (Of course the trouble is I really like him.)

    Thoughts?
    THANKS!

  20. @Dawson…………Yes. The ball is in his court. He’s got to initiate from now on. And even if he does, we think you’re going to see the same type of pattern from him anyway. Might be best to move on with the memory of a nice date. One word of caution: Don’t make assumptions about why this has happened, even though it’s easy to do. It could be for a number of reasons. Some may have nothing to do with you. We’re sure he also had a great time with you. Maybe this is just how he operates, especially being busy with kids. Take care.

  21. Hi guys, I have a question about a guy I met on an online dating site. I’ll try to make it short.

    He initiated contact with me and seemed nice but I wasn’t too sure at first. We talked a bit online and he asked for my number shortly after, but I told him I hesitated to exchange numbers since text is the lowest form of communication and conversations seem to degrade when you get into that. After a few weeks I eventually did give him my number and we started texting. He was asking me pretty often to meet up, mentioned going skating a few times, mentioned going to dinner. It wasn’t working out for a while because I still wasn’t sold on him, and I was really sick for a while. Finally one night he asked what he had to do to convince me to go to dinner, and ended up driving the hour to my place to take me out. I was so pleasantly surprised. He was such a gentleman, didn’t say anything inappropriate or try anything like most guys from the net do. The conversation flowed, we laughed at the same silly things and it was very comfortable. After dinner, in the parking lot, he took my hand, pulled me close, and kissed me. Not just a peck either, a nice, long kiss. Very nice. We texted more that night, and the next day he was back in town and we tried to hang out again but he ran out of time and it never worked out. This is where my question comes in. Since that date, which was at least a month ago now, the communication has been pretty much text only. I’ve been letting him initiate, but he isn’t trying for a second date like he was a first one. We don’t go more than a couple days without talking, but it’s so limited on text. One night, we texted for two hours then talked on the phone an hour, and I told him I prefer it that way. He said he would call me more, if I make him, as he doesn’t do too much talking on the phone. One night, I was feeling fed up with the whole thing and asked him if he was coming to watch a movie. He had plans so he couldn’t, but we talked about hanging out afterwards. After an unfortunate miscommunication, that never ended up happening. I was going to go to him, since he came to me the first time, but ended up not going as he was too tired and it was late. That night, he called me and seemed sincerely apologetic that it didn’t work out. He texted me later and said sorry again, and “I want to hang, I like you!.” I ended up saying I like you, too, then didn’t contact him for a couple days. As it stands now, he’s away at work and I’m not sure when he’s getting back. We’ve still been talking most every day, and he initiates, and sends photos of himself (nice smiling ones, not nasty ones) but still no mention of hanging out again. His birthday is coming up next week, and I’m thinking about casually suggesting getting together at my place sometime around his birthday, cooking him dinner. Should I just keep letting him initiate, and put up with the text only, limiting conversations? Or should I say something about preferring to speak on the phone, or maybe even hang out? If he’s not into me, would he be continuing communication and sending unsolicited, cute photos? If he really liked me, wouldn’t he be wanting to hang out? (I also found out, after he asked me to add him to facebook, that he was recently engaged to a girl he dated for four years.. he hasn’t mentioned it, but I think they only broke up about 4 months ago. Red flag, or reason to cut him some slack?)

  22. @Crw……Breaking up four months ago is both a red-flag and a reason to cut him slack. His behavior says to us that he’s not sure about you, or what he wants from dating or a relationship. He seems like a project, a long project. We’d suggest letting him initiate, but focusing your efforts on other possibilities. We’re not seeing this being a long term thing. It might not even be a short term thing.

  23. Well that’s disappointing.. too bad a really good guy who seems to be into you, can’t just be a really good guy who’s into you. Always has to be a story or a struggle. Thanks.

  24. I thought of one other question. In this scenario, am I expected to just go along with it as it is, with letting him initiate, but only texting and not seeing each other? Is it a “crazy chick” thing to do to straight up ask a guy what he’s thinking about you or where his head is at at the moment? I like talking to/texting him, but don’t want to get attached if he’s got me on the backburner or, even worse, in the friend zone.

  25. @CRW……The “Right” guy you’ll be able to ask anything to. It’s not a crazy chick thing to want an explanation and understand what’s going on.

  26. Okay.. I’ve heard that from guy friends, too. I’ll just ask him what’s up and let him know what I’m wanting, then get on with my life. Stuff doesn’t need to be so complicated. Thanks.

  27. @Crw…..Good luck.

  28. tinkerbecca // April 29, 2013 at 10:20 am //

    I was on an unplanned night out and met a guy who had a stop off in my town on the way to another job the next day. He was with his boss and I was with my best friend. His boss was married but got on with my friend like a house on fire and nothing happened between them.
    But me and him were like a magnet to each other I have never felt chemistry like it he said so before I did.Outside the bar when I went for a cigarette he came with me even though he didnt smoke so we could chat alone, he asked to add me on Facebook which we did. Even his boss and my friend joked we had fell in love. I went back to his hotel just planning on staying in the bar and snook into a basement and talked about everything you could imagine he even said he had never met anyone like me and was looking forward to staying intouch and was coming back up to where I live in 2 weeks for a stag do.We had the most amazing sex and were down in the basement for about 7 hours. Even after we stopped we couldn’t stop kissing each other.In the morning he asked for my number and I said I bet I dont see him again and he said you try and stop me I have never clicked like this with anyone before.Then they dropped us off in their van at my friends house and me and him were in the back of the van for about 30 minutes continuously kissing again we couldn’t keep our hands off each other.It wasn’t awkward once we couldn’t stop chatting and laughing the whole time we were together.
    When we left each other he grabbed me hugged me and gave me a massive kiss and his boss was saying put her down you will get to see her again and he didn’t want to let me go.
    Then I text him later on that day to see if they arrived safely and he replied,we sent a few jokey texts blaming each other for feeling rough. I fell asleep and didnt hear anything again that night.
    I was please he had replied and text him the next morning joking( i still feel rough and i still blame you haha) fully expecting a reply as he text back the previous day.
    The whole day I didn’t hear a thing and suddenly I had a gut feeling he would block me off facebook which he did!!
    I left it for a day and was fuming so text him saying (Why block me off Facebook? If you didn’t want to speak to me or see me again you could have just said.Not like I expected to see you again. I thought you seemed like a nice guy but to be honest you have made me feel like shit. Anyway I just had to say something as it was pissing me off. Upto u now if you get in touch)
    Following this I am still blocked, still heard nothing I just don’t get it.
    I fully understand normally if you have a one night stand nothing comes of it but the way we were together and I have proof I wasn’t imagining it has frustrated and puzzled me.
    I know from his facebook he does not have a girlfriend, but for some reason I can’t get him out my head I am not normally like this and don;t want to come across as a bunny boiler it is just puzzling me.
    Any ideas please??

  29. @tinkerbecca……We’re really sorry. This sucks. We have two explanations. He’s a player, and this is what he does with women. Or he does have a girlfriend, or a girl he’s interested in, that you don’t know about. Possibly someone that might see you on Facebook. Those are the only two logical explanations. Unless, something happened to him which we doubt highly. We know this is hard, but try not to fret over it too much. You had fun for a night. Move on. Learn from it. Hang in there.

  30. tinkerbecca // May 1, 2013 at 9:12 am //

    thanks for your advice that was my suspicion anyway 🙂

  31. @tinkerbecca…….You’re welcome. Good luck. And keep in touch.

  32. Hi, a guy contacted me on a dating website. We exchanged emails for two days and then he asked me out for lunch on the following day, Monday (it was a holiday), to which I agreed. I had a good time chatting with him for about 2.5 hrs. We both are highly-qualified and professionally doing well in our career. We both value education, and have similar interests and hobbies. When the time came to leave, he said keep in touch. We didn’t hug at all, just a good bye hand shake. Thereafter, none of us communicated for the next 4 days. I know he is very busy from 8-9 as he is doing residency. I texted him on Sat checking how did his week go and if he would be interested in meeting again. He texted back quickly and said that he would like to meet again. He suggested meeting for brunch (he had a work related get together in the late afternoon), and I said yes, that sounds great. I then suggested watching a movie after the brunch to which he happily agreed. He picked me up from my place and like before, I had a great time chatting him over brunch about different topics and later, movie was also great. He paid for the brunch and I paid for the movie. When he dropped me back to my place, we didn’t kiss or hugged. I texted him next day, Monday, saying I enjoyed his company very much. He responded several hours later to my text saying, sorry for the late response as he was very busy with patients, and that he too enjoyed the brunch and the movie. I haven’t heard anything from him after the last text. I really like the guy and would like to get to know more about him. I do get this feeling that he is interested in me, otherwise why would he meet for the second time. BUT I also understand that he should show interest in me by taking some initiative to communicate with me or meet with me. Am I thinking this whole situation right? I would greatly appreciate your perspective on it. Thank you!

  33. Hi, a guy contacted me on a dating website. We exchanged emails for two days and then he asked me out for lunch on the following day, Monday (it was a holiday), to which I agreed. I had a good time chatting with him for about 2.5 hrs. We both are highly-qualified and professionally doing well in our career. We both value education, and have similar interests and hobbies. When the time came to leave, he said keep in touch. We didn’t hug at all, just a good bye hand shake. Thereafter, none of us communicated for the next 4 days. I know he is very busy from 8-9 as he is doing residency. I texted him on Sat checking how did his week go and if he would be interested in meeting again. He texted back quickly and said that he would like to meet again. He suggested meeting for brunch (he had a work related get together in the late afternoon), and I said yes, that sounds great. I then suggested watching a movie after the brunch to which he happily agreed. He picked me up from my place and like before, I had a great time chatting him over brunch about different topics and later, movie was also great. He paid for the brunch and I paid for the movie. When he dropped me back to my place, we didn’t kiss or hugged. I texted him next day, Monday, saying I enjoyed his company very much. He responded several hours later to my text saying, sorry for the late response as he was very busy with patients, and that he too enjoyed the brunch and the movie. I haven’t heard anything from him after the last text. I really like the guy and would like to get to know more about him. I do get this feeling that he is interested in me, otherwise why would he meet for the second time. BUT I also understand that he should show interest in me by taking some initiative to communicate with me or meet with me. Am I thinking this whole situation right? I would greatly appreciate your perspective on it. Thanks!

  34. Hi,
    I have a question about the date.
    I had first date with a nice guy. I was a person texted him to go out. He replied me back quickly and set the first date. We had 1.5 hours for dinner then 15-20 mins for a cake by sharing. He walked me back to get transportation. He did not texted and asked me arrive home saftely? I texted him to say thank you in the next day. He texted me back and said about next date.
    I was teasing him by replied back I know the best restaurant is my home and remind him about the sport schedule for the next weekend.
    He did not reply me. Next two days, I texted him sent the restaurant link and said whenever you ready, let me know. He did not reply me again. It has been for two days. Do I lost him? Do I screw it up?

  35. Hi there.
    I’ve recently reconnected with a guy from my childhood. We knew eachother all of our lives. But I moved away and have now just moved back. He knows my family etc. I know his. We saw eachother at my cousins birthday recently. He was very happy to see me & I was happy to see him but I didn’t think much of it at the time. I was in a mirror fixing my hair (my 8 month old niece just finished tugging at it) & I noticed him by me but didn’t think I was the reason he was near. My older cousin (he knows as well which is why he was there) came up to me & was like HEYYYYY I know you remember him right? Lol & I looked up like yea of course I do. I didn’t notice he was standing there because he wanted to talk to me. He seemed very shy about it. But when j responded positively to my cousins gesture he warmed up a bit & he referred to me as “his wife”to my cousin. Anyway, we exchanged numbers last Sunday & have texted everyday. I started the texting to confirm I had his number & I pretty much initiated most of the Texting. I know most of you will say that’s a HUGE no no, but each time he was so warm and open. He said I can contact him any time, he is interested in me in all of the ways, he’s happy to be speaking to me etc and so on. We spoke on the phone once. I was asking him like… Do you actually like me I’m initiating everything. He said yea he does and that he wouldn’t have if I didn’t.. Lol.. I asked if he was interested in me again to make sure and he said yes. He says he’s interested in me in “all of the ways” This recent Sunday (a week later) we went out, we went bowling. He made his way to see me despite a hectic busy day + minimal sleep which I thought was sweet. He said he was going to cancel at her as he was late to pick me up etc but he didn’t want me to be mad at him & that if I was okay with him being a little late he’d love to still see me. He paid for everything, made sure I was comfortable & asked if I wanted anything to eat & got that for me as well. We had such great chemistry & shared lots of laughs! It was so much fun. We made loads of eye contact throughout the night. We started to chat a bit, & we got on the topic of relationships. Nothing too deep, just basics. I asked him if he was interested in dating me, he said I would.. I definitely would date you. I said what’s stopping you? He said I’m not quite ready for a relationship right now. & I was like oh okay, well I do like you but you don’t want that right now so I understand. & he said no I mean…I’m just saying I don’t want that… right now. Then he went on to say he was in a relationship from when he was 18-22. (We’re both 23 now, he’ll be 24 next month) & that 2016 was the first year he’s been single since he was 18. & that he does really like me etc. & that he knows the steps he needs to take to really secure a relationship with me & that he just isn’t sure right now… We continued the date, it was amazing. He kissed me afterwards, when we pulled up to my home he asked me to get out of the car because he wanted to hug me properly. and he got out of the car to give me a proper really long hug. He really took his time hugging me and we spoke for a but staring into eachothers eyes and hugging eachother before we parted one another. It’s only been a week since we reconnected, so I’m trying not to think TOO much into it. But I can’t help but to after he said that. Should I be put off since he said he doesn’t want a relationship “right now”..? Should I just let it go, stop talking to him & move on? Or should I just be patient.. Get to know him more, take it slow & see where it goes?

  36. There’s like 3 typos, sorry!!! I hope it all still make sense!

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