When I know for a fact particular guys are interested in me, why are they so afraid to “break the ice” and talk to me? Is it the places I go? Gym, college, shopping mall, park. Are guys uncomfortable starting a conversation with a random person? Are they intimidated, have a significant other, or what could it be? As I mentioned they do seem interested. And I will also mention that I have approached a guy initially and it turned out he had a serious girlfriend. (He did tell me he found me attractive, but I still felt turned down and let down. I guess.)
So basically what should someone with my dilemma do?
Thanks for your question.
Well, meeting someone in a random place is always a crapshoot. A guy would have to have a whole lot of confidence to just randomly approach you at the mall, or even at the gym. And confidence aside, many guys just don’t operate this way. It’s too unpredictable. They have no idea who you are. (Although, meeting someone at college is a better possibility because you have common interests and goals.)
The other thought that comes to mind is, are you reading the cues correctly? Just because a guy smiles at you doesn’t mean he’s ready to ask you out. It could very well mean he finds you attractive, but it tells you nothing about his status—single or not. With this in mind you shouldn’t feel rejected from your encounter with the one guy. He was probably being honest with you. He found you attractive but he’s attached.
The thing is Sabrina, approaching guys at random places has a hint of desperation to it. (We’re not saying you are, but you might be perceived this way.) So we recommend you let the guys approach you. Then you’ll know for sure what their intentions are.
We also think you should try to meet guys more organically. (A guy in one of your classes. Maybe someone at the gym. Or at a college party. Maybe a friend of a friend.) Try to let things happen naturally. Don’t stress out about it. The more you focus on the things you love, the more likely you’ll meet people with similar interests, and then hopefully a spark will happen.
Please feel free to ask us a follow up question. And keep in touch and let us know how things are going. You also might be interested in our “Relationship Memoirs” page, especially Charlotte Pescale’s “Rebecca, a memoir.”
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Also check out: Why is he not asking me out? (There are a lot of comments/questions as well.)